Equipping the Called

I am in Austin, Texas for the Together for Adoption Conference. I have spent the day with Dr. Karyn Purvis, and I am here to tell you there is NOOOOOOO child who has been wounded toooooo deeply to be healed if we turn over enough rocks to find the tools...and with the power of the Holy Spirit! Can I tell you how my Spirit rejoiced when I heard a professional doctor say that! So many thing she said made common sense, why are more not saying it??!!! We need people studying under her to carry on this type of thinking in professional settings! I learned so much that I can't wait to get home and try on my own children, as well as so many things that have equipped me to better equip adoptive parents!

As I have thought about what I do and how people ask me all the time how I do it, this trip to Austin has brought back a memory that I think I just have to share. It is a humbling story. But speaks to the Truth that God will equip you to what He calls you to do! Being pre-equipped is not a pre-requisite. Let me explain!

Nearly six years ago, we lost Addy. God immediately called us to what has now become Addy's Hope. The ministry was birthed in a laundry room at a condo where we were staying the week in San Antonio, Texas. In the weeks to follow John and my laundry room conversation, God would throw doors open so we just kept walking through them. We did not have the slightest clue about how to run an adoption agency, a non-profit or a business. But we heard the voice of God, so we walked in obedience.

One of those steps was to go to Austin in order to attend an informational meeting in order to be licensed as a child placing agency. I was going to fly to Austin, meet two friends who were also working on getting a license, and fly home. I was terrified! I was a stay at home mom! I had no idea how to be in the "professional" world! Before being a stay at home mom, I was a teacher. That's just a little bit up the ladder, right? I mean few think of teachers as "real" professionals! Now I was going to be meeting with "big wigs" to see about becoming licensed. I got on line, looked up flights, called in, made my reservation, figured out how I was going to get to the meeting place, etc, etc. I layed down in bed that night sooooo proud of myself! I looked at John and said, "I did it!!! I made all the arrangements and I will arrive in Houston in enough time to get to the meeting." I sat straight up in the bed and threw my hand over my mouth! Got up and checked my reservation....sure enough! I had made my plane reservation for Houston and not Austin!!!! What little confidence I had mustered to start this journey was quickly depleted! But that would just be the first of M-A-N-Y episodes that God has used over the past 6 years to keep me humble in this journey! He reminds me that I need Him at every turn!

And today, that meant at every turn around too! On my way from the hotel to the church, I lost count of h ow many u-turns I did! I even called John to tell him that he would be laughing at me if he were here! Last night I did manage to make it to Austin by myself (at least I got the right city this time!), but the trip did include two u-turns and one small trip the wrong way down a one-way-road!

So if you are feeling called to something that you know you don't have the skill set to do right now, take that step of faith anyway! He will equip you! I am living proof of that!

Can't wait for the conference tomorrow! Down to download my brain of what I learned today to make room for tomorrow!

The Journey: AWOL & B-Man

Sorry I have been AWOL lately! You will notice a pattern that when we get a new child, I do that! That is because I am not a natural at this fostering, adding kids to the family, being organized thing! It takes me awhile! B-Man (referred to as Little Man in previous posts, but just can't leave that name after meeting the linebacker for the Cowboys in the 2030 season!!!) came three weeks ago today and for the first time, I am feeling like I m-i-g-h-t have a handle on my family. Well, that is probably stretching it! I have a few minutes to try to process what is going on in my life...and I have to process out loud, so you get to listen!

What I haven't been able to tell you is how amazing God is in his bringing B-Man to us! All my readers know that we were struggling with a car issue. Well, just three days before B-Man arrived, God blessed us with a car. One we can afford to pay-off anyway. We really wanted to pay cash for our next car, but we both felt strongly that this was a deal and blessing we could not pass up and that God was providing it for a larger purpose. So count them>

Yep, that is a Suburban that seats NINE! John's first quote, "We are not getting this to fill it up with kids!" We'll see, Mister, we'll see! Just three days after we took possession of the car, B-Man came to us. So we are all able to ride in the same car as a family wherever we go. Now we just have to tighten the belt a little more and get it payed off. We are trusting God for that provision!

I shared with you, I think...forget sometimes what I put on Facebook and what I blog, but I think I shared about my vision of an afro sitting with his back to me playing with Baby Girl. I was sitting at the table in a restaraunt eating lunch with a new friend from the foster/adoption world when I go the call. They had an emergency placement for a full African American baby boy who is just a few months old. I teared up and said, "I'm going to say I think yes, but I have to talk to John first." So I call John who asks me what the situation is. I confess that I didn't ask ANY questions! So not like me! But when God has prepared you for a placement, you just K-N-O-W! I've been down this road! I knew this was a baby for our home. I called back and got what few details they had. John agreed to go forward, so I called back and said yes. Called John to tell him they would be there in just a couple of hours and to get the playpen out. He asked me what the babies name was - hadn't asked that either! He has an interesting name come to find out, but we just call him B-Man or Big-Man around here!

Why did I take him so blindly? God had prepared my heart! And get this! He had prepared Ava and Toben's hearts too! The night before he came, we were sitting at the dinner table and out of the blue, Toben says, "The baby boy is going to sleep in my room." John and I exchange glances across the table, and I say, "What baby boy?" Toben mater-of-factly states, "The baby boy we are getting." We kind of brushed it off (although this is the forth time since Toben has come home that he has made a statement that within 24 hours has come to pass!). The next morning, Ava comes into her room where John and I were talking and says, "Baby boy is going to sleep in my room." Again we ask, "What baby boy?" and for the second time from one of our children, "The baby boy we are getting."

The other not so great reason I knew we were getting a call....well, it hadn't been a great morning at the P-tree house! In fact, it had been one of those mornings when you ask yourself, "What in the heck am I doing thinking about adding another child, in fact, maybe we need to think about getting rid of some!" Ok, just kidding about that getting rid of some part! It crosses your mind at those times, but only for a split second! But adding another one? Are we nuts?! Don't answer that, people! In fact, I actually said to myself, we will probably get a call today since I am questioning whether I can do the 5 I have much less one more!

Three hours later, number 6 is on his way!

They were supposed to arrive at 3:00, but didn't get to the house until almost 11:45 that night. That is why the post the day he came about having time for questions and doubts to creep in!

It has been a crazy three weeks! Does adding a baby stress a home? YES! Does it stress a marriage? YES! Does it point out every weekness you have and every area that satan wants to attack? YES! In fact, I have had specific dreams that I knew were God urging me to fight spiritual battles that were occuring...I can only think of one other time I have had that happen. Many would say we shouldn't have taken him. Our current kids suffer. We aren't strong enough, prepared enough. There is not a concern that you can bring to me that I hadn't thought of myself or questioned since he came. But the bottom line, he needs a mommy and daddy to love him for this time in his life. Will we keep him forever, probably not. Would I love to? Y-E-S!! Y-E-S!! How will I let him go? I have NOOOOOOOO idea! But God told me early on with Baby Girl that I am not promised tomorrow with any of my children and yet I don't love them any less or keep my heart from them. Since that day, I have vowed to love all children in my home with all my heart. And for that I have to spend daily time in The Word filling myself with Him so that I can do that because my flesh cries out to protect my heart and go to an easier life!

When they see me out and about, people say, "You're amazing!" I laugh! I really am not! I wish you could all see how normal and ill-equiped outside God's power I am for this! I wish you could see it because then you would know that YOU can do this too! Or whatever it is that God is calling you to! If there is anything I know during the past three weeks it is if I am EVER living a life that doesn't require me to be daily on my knees just to get through the day, then I am probably not walking in all God has for me! He desires us to live a life of Supernatural power!

Once again, God has perfect timing in the study that he has me in! Thank you, Dear Liz, for calling me weeks ago when B-Man wasn't even a thought and inviting me to join you! God has used you mightily in my life! God knew those weeks ago that right now, I would need this study just to live my daily life! And to live it with joy!

So to explain what I mean about living a life daily on my knees and being filled with Him, I am going to leave you with a few quotes from Priscilla Shirer who is passionate about women being filled with the power of God in order to carry out all that He has for them! Be blessed today!

‎"When you have patience in your mothering, holiness in your singleness, gentleness in your response, contentment in your circumstances, and empowerment in the face of your challenges, you are experiencing the greatest miralce of all: God's presence appearing in your life."

"Those waiting on a life of continuous miracles as a sign of God's anointing will lead a frustrated existence as they try to manipulate God. On the contratry, the anointed life engages daily and normal activities in a supernatural way."

Mother to six....

Exhausted, dishes in the sink, laundry piled high, work on the dining room table, still have a baby to put to bed...makes me start wondering why or if I should do this mom of six thing. Then B-man giggles and smiles that smile that makes his eyes disappear and lights up his entire face! Then I know I can because God has called me to it and I have to because each of these precious ones needed a mommy to tuck them in tonight. So I will keep rocking then start laundry and wash dishes....and will rejoice that I am blessed to lay my head down tonight as mother of half a dozen!

The Journey: Little Man

We got a call....Petree number6, aka: Little Man, is on his way...was supposed to be here 5 hours ago...we are still waiting...and while we are waiting, many doubts and fears about taking another child have crept in. I was so sure when the call came..God told me this call was coming...but the enemy doesn't want us to follow God....so in my fears and doubts, my friend Amy greatly encouraged me with her blog and reminded me why I said YES!

Ava's First Day of Pre-School

Ava started pre-school today! She is so confident in herself! No tears! She walks in like she owns it and tells me good bye!

I am really excited about this year as she is at a true Pre-School, not just a mother's day out program. I didn't think there was much difference, but there is already some things I've noticed that I'm pleased with and we are just at the beginning! I think this will be great prep work for her for kinder!

So here is my baby girl all ready for school....and then with her new teacher, Miss Gwen!

Valiant Warrior

I have been praying a series of scripture prayers over my home and family for a couple of weeks now. They are amazing! I can literally feel the mood in our home lift. I need to pray them again right before the kids come home now that school has started.

Today, as I was praying, for John, one of the prayers was Judges 6:12, "The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, "The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior." God impressed on me that I needed to share this with John...God sees him as a valiant warrior! Isn't that awesome? I love it!

But as I read the context of the scripture so that I could know what it was that God was asking me to share with John, I realized God pointed me there for me as well as John. Maybe not the valiant warrior part, but the versus before and after that spoke to me greatly!

The first part of chapter 6 are the words God spoke to a prophet of that time. Verse 10 (the end of where my Bible divides the first section of that chapter) ends with, "But you have not obeyed me." So this is where things change! Up to this point in chapter 6, God has rescued Israel. He has taken them out of bondage and provided them with victory in every battle they have touched.

Enter Gideon. He is going about beating the wheat into wine "in order to save it from the Midianites. Then the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, 'The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior'." Then HollyAnn said, well, that is not exactly what the Bible says, but it COULD! "Then Gideon said to him, "O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about"...oh my! Ever have your words appear to you in the Bible after you have said them? I have said "if God is for us, or if He is with us, then why has all this happened???? I have said that to John probably tens if not hundreds of times over the past 3 or 4 years. It seems that each time we step out in faith, the ending is less than favorable!

The Lord's answer? "Go in this your strength and deliver Israel from the hand of Midiean, Have I not sent you?" When GOD send us, we have victory! Wow! It gets even better! Gideon then answers again, "O Lord, how shall I deliver Israel? Behold, my family is the least in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father's house." How many times have you listed all the reasons you can't do what God told you to do? I don't have enough energy for one more child, Lord. I am just a housewife in West Texas, I can't turn the heart of Liberian leaders. I am just human, I can't hold this relationship together. I am already doing so much, I can't add one more thing to my plate. The list goes on and on!

You know what God says to that list? "Surely I will be with you." (emphasis mine). The Lord then tells him that Gideon WILL defeat the enemy as just one man! Gideon still isn't sure! I love that! I love that God shows us in His word His servants that have gone before us that were just as unsure as I am from time to time! Gideon has seen the angel of the Lord and he still wants more confirmation this is what he is supposed to do. Ever done that? I'm guilty! So the angel of the Lord takes the soup that Gideon prepared for him and pours is on a rock. Then he reaches out a staff to it and "fire sprang up from the rock and consumed" it! Well, if he had any doubts left, that did it!

But it gets better! Oh how I love God's Word! Even though Gideon knew without a doubt what God was asking him to do, he was scared to do it! Been there? You know that you know that God has given you a command. And with all your heart you long to obey, but fear is still there. Have we sinned? Not yet! The sin comes in if we let the fear stop us. If we, like Gideon, proceed in our fear to obedience, we have not sinned, but shown God in His full glory and strength! In my weakness (and fear) He is strong! Verse 27 of chapter 6 says, "Then Gideon...did as the Lord had spoken to him; and because he was too afraid of his father's household and the men of the city to do it by day, he did it by night."

I love it! He was still afraid, so afraid that he performed what he was told to do in the dark of night. But he did it! He followed God's voice and command to walk in obedience.

I can list a dozen or more things that God has called me to do and after arguing with Him about why I am highly unqualified to do it, I proceeded 'in the dark' for fear of the thoughts or reactions of those closest to me.

I think of this a lot as I talk to families about adoption...especially inter-racial adoption. Many of the older generations, and some even of current generations, don't understand and truly believe in their core that mixing colors is an abomination of God. I am sure Gideon's family thought that destroying the alter to Baal was an abomination to say the least, but who was right? What if Gideon had succumb to the attitudes of his family.

Now, I'm not saying this gives anyone the right to go rogue and be arrogant with family in the things God has called them to, but I am saying that God gives us a perfect example here of a man who had to go against the wishes of his family in order to obey God.

I can honestly say that neither of our families think we should add kids to our life. The fact that we are considering another foster placement just has them puzzled and scared for us. And it makes me doubt my ability to do what God has called me to, makes me think I must be mistaken in being open to another placement. Probably could say they felt the same about the addition of Baby Girl as well. They have accepted Baby Girl. My parents have been a life saver in all that we have had to do for her with her being a foster child. They have helped me out to the point that I know I couldn't have done it without them! So I don't in anyway want to paint either of our parents in a negative light here. But I do want to encourage those who are facing opposition from their families. It doesn't have to just be adoption...maybe God is calling you to sell your possessions and move to a mission field over seas, maybe God is telling you to leave a lucrative career in order to pursue a passion that God has put inside you, whatever it is God is telling you to do, DO IT! Don't let the opposition of family or friends who mean well in their criticism keep you from obeying God!

Go for it because, "the Lord is with you, O valiant warrior!"