Hello, my name is HollyAnn, I am a visionary.
Sometimes I really feel like I need to go to visionaries anonymous meetings! This is one of those times!
Life is full right now. Like full to overflowing type of full. But this "thing" keeps coming up. I lay it to rest, and then a conversation like today happens and that still small voice in my head says, "the need is here, let's get started!"
The thing about being a visionary is you have to have administrators and "doers" surrounding you to get anywhere! I can dream it, I can do whatever you tell me, but to eat an elephant one bit at a time is impossible for me. I choke every time!
About two weeks ago there was a mom who left her baby at a local daycare. Obviously I don't know all the details. There are arguments on both sides of this case. Yes, a mom abandoned her baby. I know many would see that as a loveless act no matter the circumstances, but I have worked with way too many wounded young ladies and personally met three of my four adopted children's birth mothers and all of them loved their children in the only way they knew how. And I believe this is true of this mom as well. I mean just look at where she left him...at a place that takes care of children!
But because that place is not a legally designated "safe place", she will face criminal charges of abandonment. I understand the need for this too, I really do. We can't have people just leaving their children anywhere at anytime with no accountability. But I also imagine this mom didn't know about the "safe places". If she did I can't help but think she would have left him there. All I could think when I heard the story was, "If only we could have gotten to her! If only she knew she could have done this process, had a choice in the family if she wanted and still remain just as anonymous and inconspicuous as if she just dropped him off!" Then there is the friend of mine going through a very tough time with a grand baby who needs to be in a loving adoptive home. Again, I just wish I could share the options with this young mom who loves her baby so much she has let her go...just not in a safe place. Then there are the multitude of stories I have been told when people learn I have pregnant teenage daughter. More than 7 out of 10 of the stories are ones of these young girls facing the scariest event in their lives only to then be told by parents their only options are to move out or get an abortion! I was talking to a friend yesterday who was sharing another story just like that with me. And God said, "Now!" And of course I start my arguments with Him:
- we don't have the millions of dollars this would probably take to build - "All the gold is mine and all the silver is mine" Haggai 2 Hmmmmmm... Ok well
- I can't take on even ONE MORE thing! - "You can do all things through me when I call you according to My purpose!" Phillipians 4:13
- then why have I spent the last week feeling like I was losing my mind and couldn't possibly even raise 7 kids much less continue an adoption agency and now this?! - "the enemy has a plan contrary to Mine (2 Corinthians 2:11) and for a little while you were more aware of his plans than Mine, listening to his voice above Mine."
- but I can't do this alone! - "I know, I am raising up fellow workers with you. The friend you met at the lunch two weeks ago with a passion for birth mothers was not an accident. Your new friend two blocks away who shares your heart for teens in trouble has a part."
And so the arguing went until I finally realized (slow learner, I know!) that the clay arguing with the potter is completely futile! So I called that one friend and asked her to go with me today to a place....a place that I pass frequently and every time, that small voice says, "that's it!" This is the place!
I don't know the exact date, but I know we were still living in Garden City and had no plans of opening a domestic adoption program with Addy's Hope. I was driving down the main street to our downtown area and passed a condemned looking apartment complex that was vacant and God said, "That's it! That is where you will build your maternity home for girls who need options!" I remember it so clearly because it was totally out of the blue! I had never even thought of opening a maternity home, I certainly was't looking for a place to build one! And if I was, I wouldn't have picked that place! As I drove around the building, I saw there was actually a for sale sign with a phone number. An excitement rose in me! I knew it was God telling me this would be the site for my maternity home. At the time, I had one friend here who was just as crazy as me! So I called her and said, you are not going to believe what I have been thinkig now! We called the owner, and she gave us permission to walk through this apartment complex - there was no need for her to be there because we could just walk in the open doors or climb through one of the broken out windows - it was in that kind of shape! We were not positive we would make it out alive since each step on the second story brought creaks and groans that made us wonder if we would fall through at any moment. And then as we entered the second part of the building, we realized the building was most certainly not vacant! We just prayed the "tenants" would not return while we were there! All the time laughing because we knew our husbands would kill us if they knew what we were doing and yet knowing at the same time that God was in this somehow! We left with plans to call a contractor, which I did. To say he wasn't impressed with the building was an understatement! To say he looked at me like I had lost my mind to even be dreaming of something like I was would be a very accurate statement. This contractor was also a leader in my church at that time, so his less than enthusiastic take on the situation was quite a rainstorm on my parade.
But at the same time, I knew that I knew God had told me this location at least was where I would build. So while I was frustrated and not sure what to do next, I did the only thing I knew to do. I prayed! I walked about that building....in the rain....claiming it as mine to save the lives of babies and mothers!
And that was over SIX years ago! But guess what, the building never sold and is still for sale! As God has pressed into me that the time is now over the past couple of weeks, I finally went back to the scene.....I have driven by many times and taken it as an opportunity to pray and ask for God to give us that place for His purposes....but I always knew it was for a future time....this time He told me to park. So I did!
I feel like I haven't left park since! I have tried to shake it. I have tried to reason it away....and reasoning it away is EASY because NOTHING about even thinking this is a possibility makes sense except....God said go!
So this is the first step of my obedience. I am going public with my insanity! If this strikes a cord with you at all, will you pray? I know there are multiple people in our booming town that could write a check right now to pay for that lot and all we would need to get an amazing home for pregnant teens up and running, and that would be AMAZING. But as I shared my vision with one of my friends who had just shared her story of being forced to abort her twin babies because her parents gave her a choice of abortion or leaving their family and moving to the streets, she shared that a house can also be built on the love of $20 and $5 gifts from many people who believe in life giving options for those in crisis pregnancy! Pray with me that by whatever means God has, the funds will come. Funds for the land, funds for the building, funds for the staff needed to fulfill this vision...and pray for the girls who are out there right now that do not have options...pray God will make a way where there is no way! In a town that has lead the nation numerous times in teen pregnancies, we need places for girls to go who stay with boyfriends who beat them because it is better than the streets or who find themselves on an operating table numb with disbelief as a life is stolen from their body because they see no other option when their support system tells them they have none.
I have no idea where this is going, but I want to be obedient to my part...would you pray and ask God if you have a part if this strikes a place in your heart?
Here we go!
