The Journey: Final Hearing

Today is the final hearing for Baby Girl. Today should be the day that we know she will be ours forever. I say "should be" because you never know how these things are truly going to go. If I've learned anything from this journey with CPS, it's to never assume anything!

Last week we received a text message from Baby Girl's biological mother saying that Baby Girl would be ours forever because she was going to sign papers to terminate her rights. I didn't jump up and down like you might think. I didn't for two reasons. First, she has said she would do that before and then backed out. So until the papers are signed, I'm not getting overly confident that they will be signed. Second, even though it means the little girl who I love as my daughter will remain with me forever, it also means that a mother who carried this baby in her womb for 9 months is having to let go forever. Regardless of the circumstances, that makes me sad. It makes me sad that we live in a fallen world where parents are not always able or willing, whatever the case may be, to care for their biological children.

We have known about this court date for weeks, months really. After our last court, CPS told us they could possibly change the plan to reunification which you understand raised many alarms. I made some phone calls and was assured that all would go well and Baby Girl would remain with us. But now, the day before court, people who are key witnesses for the case still haven't received their letters to be at court. Baby Girl's attorney, who is better than most as he actually did a home visit yesterday, wasn't familiar enough with the facts of the case to really discuss the possible outcomes with us when he was here yesterday. So while I'm really not nervous about our case because God has given me confidence for months that Baby Girl would be ours in the end, I am very frustrated and border line angry that people who hold the future of a child in their hands really aren't concerned with the details that could determine where this child grows up for life! I can't help but think these children deserve better! But how do we make "better" happen?

This morning I am praying and trusting that God will have the people there who need to be there. Praying that He will give me the words I need to say when I am on the stand. I'm not excited about that part at all! This is when having a relationship with the biological family is so hard. I don't want to talk bad about her biological mother even if it is true. I don't want to damage a relationship we might have with her. There is another baby on the way. What if we could help in some way to inspire her to make permanent changes that would allow this baby to stay with her? Could what I say this morning damage that? Wasn't really thrilled that he said he would put me on the stand, but on the other hand, will do anything for my children!

This has been a trust journey from the beginning and will be to the end! So here we go! Trusting and obeying...seems to be my motto these days!

The Journey: Court Update

We went to court this morning. The good news is that the court approved the change of plan to termination. The sad news is that we are now seen as the enemy by Baby Girl's Mom. She definitely has had a change of heart about willingly signing termination papers...in fact it has changed to: I will not lose another of my kids and I will fight to the end.


I wish she really meant that. I wish she meant she would fight to the end meaning she would get a job, get a house, do her services....change her life so that she could provide the home Baby Girl needs. But unfortunately what we saw today was "fight" means blame everyone else for why she hasn't done things up to this point and then tell us she is going to do it all now. I hope she does.


Do I want to love Baby Girl? No! But at the same time, I have always said that until the judge says she is mine, she is not mine. Do I love her like she is mine? YES! Would I be devastated to lose her? YES! But ultimately, she is not mine to loose...at least legally.


It was a hard morning just because we have tried so hard to be the neutral party just coming in to help out. But I knew at some point, that would change, and it seems that today is that day. Her mom left without even saying good bye to us or her mom. I wish she knew how much we all care about her and truly want her to turn her life around and would help in any way we could if she would just make that first bit of effort. Baby Girl's mom's mom is a hero in my books! She truly loves her daughter! I have only been at this for five months, she has been at this for years! She has taught me a lot about a mother...and a grandmother's love!

Trust seems to be a word that comes up a lot in my time with God lately. And this situation is no different! Where do we go from here? We trust! We trust that God's plan is best...not my plan that I want God to follow, but truly trust God's plan. I selfishly ask for that plan to include Baby Girl remaining with us, but ultimately, God calls me to trust HIM...not an outcome!

We trust and we wait! We have a review court date in November and another permanency court date in February. Nothing definite will be done until February. So for now, I will love this Baby Girl and thank God for every day that I get to kiss her chubby cheeks!

Oh...did I tell you her new word? "Momma"! None of my other kids said "momma" before "daddy"! So I have to brag just a bit! We are now up to two words...."bye-bye" and "momma"! I think she is a genius! :)

The Journey: Court date moved

We found out today that our August 26 court date has been moved. We go to court tomorrow! Let me tell you the miraculous part of that...we found out through a blip in a conversation or we might have missed it all together which would not have looked good to the judge! God is looking out for us.

Please pray for the judge as she makes her decisions for the future of Baby Girl. We are not holding our breath that Baby Girl's mom will sign termination papers, but we have total peace with that. We know God has this all under control. I can't say I am ok with Baby Girl going to live somewhere else, but I don't see that happening in the cards with this particular situation. But I also know enough about these types of situations that until the adoption papers are signed, nothing is final!

At this time, I would say my biggest fear is a family member of the dad coming out of the woodworks to want Baby Girl. I don't think the workers in this case would go for that, but the judge has the final decision.

Please pray also for Baby Girl's mom and grandmother. I fully believe Baby Girl's mom loves her the only way she knows how. That doesn't mean she can care for her in a way that is best for Baby Girl, but it does mean this is a very hard process.

We have an amazing relationship with Baby Girl's grandmother and are so thankful for that. It will provide a link for Baby Girl to her biological family that my sons don't have. We even had a chance to meet Baby Girl's aunt a couple of weeks ago. It's fun to hear family stories about her family.
Court is at 10....will update when I can!

The Journey: Foster Due Date

I was talking to another foster parent the other day, and she asked, "when's your next court date?" I had to smile because I realized how often I ask and am asked that these days! That is usually the first question I ask a fellow foster parent if I know they are fostering to adopt. And it is usually the first question we are asked by people who know the process of foster to adopt. So it hit me that this is the "when are you due" question for foster parents! When you see a friend who is pregnant, or find out a friend is pregnant, you usually ask, "When are you due?" But for foster parents, that question is "when is your court date?" because that court date is what determines if that precious child gets to be in your family forever or will be moved or returned to their biological family. Just an interesting parallel I drew as we continue to walk this new journey of fostering!