I love how personal God is! I love how many chances He gives me! I love that even when I mess up, He takes me right back! There are a couple of really hard things going on with adoptions in Texas right now. I know without a doubt this is a battle God has called me to. I have tried to walk away - you know "the Lord will fight for you, you keep still" {Exodus 14:14}, but He brings it right back to my door step time and time again. I have finally accepted that this is part of my "for such a time as this" and a way to use so much of our personal as well as professional story that is full of heart ache for good!
But if I am honest with myself, while I have agreed this is my cross to bear, I have not carried it well. I have most definitely not counted it all joy when I have faced trials of many kinds. I have not persevered in order to produce proven character and most certainly did not have hope on many days. In fact, many days, I sat staring at a wall begging for a way out. It. is. hard.
As God would have it, we took communion together as a Body the Sunday after one of these particularly hard weeks. As I contemplated the cross, the load I had been asked to carry obviously waned in a big way! I dropped to my seat in sorrow and remorse that I had been such a complainer that week. Yes, I had been obedient, but I had not been a willing vessel. I had gone kicking and screaming...and kicking some more....and screaming some more!
But as I sat there asking God to forgive me for what the enemy was trying to make me feel like was a huge failure, the visual image of the movies we see with a crucifixion scene came to mind. You know the one where they lay the cross on Jesus' back, he takes two steps and falls to the ground from the weight of the cross and the exhaustion/pain of all he had endured previously and the huge wooden cross tumbles to the ground? That is the image that came to mind! Then that still small voice said, "Why are you being so hard on yourself? Even I had to have someone carry my own cross at some point!" You see the gospels of Mark, Luke and Matthew all state that another man had to carry Jesus' cross up the hill.
Wow! If Jesus struggled to carry his literal cross, why would I not think I would struggle at times to carry mine?! And you know what, the Holly Spirit assured me that day in that pew that He is ok with that! He was pleased that I was still waking the hill, dragging the cross. I hadn't laid it down and walked of, and I hadn't stop altogether! As long as I was continuing in my yes, He could and would continue to use my obedience!
What cross are you struggling to carry? Can I encourage you? It's OK to struggle! Just don't quit! Just don't let the enemy wind the mind games he plays! Keep on keeping on...even when you can't do it with "all joy", just do it! Because God can use even our whiny, limping, complaining, barely making it YES!
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
New Beginnings and Clean Slates
I LOVE New Years...mornings, Mondays, start of school...anything that represents a new beginning and a clean slate! I am such a mess up! I have such great intentions most days, and fail at most of those intentions most days in this season of life. But I love that EVERY morning, I have a clean slate, a new start! I love Lamentations 3:22-23 that promises "because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant are your stability and faithfulness." (emphasis mine)
I see every morning as a new beginning full of possibility and God's compassion and mercy that covers all I didn't accomplish or managed to totally mess up yesterday! And New Year's kind of represents that on a yearly basis for me. It is a time to reflect on the past year, mark stones of remembrance of God's faithfulness and provision, times of spiritual stretching that hopefully brought growth, and looking at the times I didn't quite hit the mark. Then I ask God to speak to me about the upcoming year! For the past four years, sometime between mid December and January 1, God has dropped either a word or two or a scripture in my mind or drawn it out of one of my studies and said it was for the new year. It's become one of my favorite parts of December....listening to what God has to say about the upcoming year!
For 2013, God gave me the words Faith and Obedience! The other fun part about God speaking to me about years like that is looking back over the year in my review mirror and seeing just where the words or scriptures God gave encouraged, sustained, prepared and motivated me. Well, faith and obedience were definitely a theme in 2013! The obedience part was that I was to hear his voice, even a small whisper, and do it! No questioning, no reasoning, just pure faith, trust and obedience...from "pick up that marker on the floor" to "take in two more children", I tried to simply obey when I heard His voice. I didn't succeed in all areas. My weight battle ensued long after I wanted it to, but there was even victory there when I followed through with my obedience! But as I look back over the year, I know God prepared me for adding two babies to our home and moving our family 5 hours away from our support system of amazing friends and family.
I honestly hadn't thought much about it this year. We are still trying to unpack from the move. And with the move, I had done zero shopping for Christmas...and can I tell you that shopping for 8 kids plus extended family is an ordeal?! We also hosted both families this year for Christmas. Love doing that, but it has meant there has been little alone time with God really except for the few moments I have carved out here and there. But one of the things I love about my God is that He knows my heart! He knows that my heart longs to be with Him! And so even though I hadn't done the "check list" to hear Him, He spoke anyway! I was actually getting dressed one morning, and just had my worship music on. I heard joy and consistency. Took me a minute to figure out why I heard that. Then I knew. They are my words for 2014! I am still studying to see just exactly what they mean and what my part is to make sure they remain themes for the year. But I am excited to see what God does to bring joy and consistency into our family....really, two things that were definitely missing this year!
So I encourage you to get alone with God sometime today and ask Him what He has for you in the coming year! He is a God of love and mercy, if you have this feeling that you are on God's "naughty" list and are afraid to hear what He has to say, please know that is the enemy! Yes, God may have some things to say about what you have done, but He loves you enough to send his Son from heaven's seat to a manger in a stable! He is longing for you to sit with Him and let Him share the good, perfect and full of hope plans He has for you in the coming year! And if you don't get to that today, you can do it in the morning because every morning is full of new mercies!
Happy New Year blog world friends! I pray God's faithful provision, tangible presence and sustaining JOY over each and every one of you for 2014!
I see every morning as a new beginning full of possibility and God's compassion and mercy that covers all I didn't accomplish or managed to totally mess up yesterday! And New Year's kind of represents that on a yearly basis for me. It is a time to reflect on the past year, mark stones of remembrance of God's faithfulness and provision, times of spiritual stretching that hopefully brought growth, and looking at the times I didn't quite hit the mark. Then I ask God to speak to me about the upcoming year! For the past four years, sometime between mid December and January 1, God has dropped either a word or two or a scripture in my mind or drawn it out of one of my studies and said it was for the new year. It's become one of my favorite parts of December....listening to what God has to say about the upcoming year!
For 2013, God gave me the words Faith and Obedience! The other fun part about God speaking to me about years like that is looking back over the year in my review mirror and seeing just where the words or scriptures God gave encouraged, sustained, prepared and motivated me. Well, faith and obedience were definitely a theme in 2013! The obedience part was that I was to hear his voice, even a small whisper, and do it! No questioning, no reasoning, just pure faith, trust and obedience...from "pick up that marker on the floor" to "take in two more children", I tried to simply obey when I heard His voice. I didn't succeed in all areas. My weight battle ensued long after I wanted it to, but there was even victory there when I followed through with my obedience! But as I look back over the year, I know God prepared me for adding two babies to our home and moving our family 5 hours away from our support system of amazing friends and family.
I honestly hadn't thought much about it this year. We are still trying to unpack from the move. And with the move, I had done zero shopping for Christmas...and can I tell you that shopping for 8 kids plus extended family is an ordeal?! We also hosted both families this year for Christmas. Love doing that, but it has meant there has been little alone time with God really except for the few moments I have carved out here and there. But one of the things I love about my God is that He knows my heart! He knows that my heart longs to be with Him! And so even though I hadn't done the "check list" to hear Him, He spoke anyway! I was actually getting dressed one morning, and just had my worship music on. I heard joy and consistency. Took me a minute to figure out why I heard that. Then I knew. They are my words for 2014! I am still studying to see just exactly what they mean and what my part is to make sure they remain themes for the year. But I am excited to see what God does to bring joy and consistency into our family....really, two things that were definitely missing this year!
So I encourage you to get alone with God sometime today and ask Him what He has for you in the coming year! He is a God of love and mercy, if you have this feeling that you are on God's "naughty" list and are afraid to hear what He has to say, please know that is the enemy! Yes, God may have some things to say about what you have done, but He loves you enough to send his Son from heaven's seat to a manger in a stable! He is longing for you to sit with Him and let Him share the good, perfect and full of hope plans He has for you in the coming year! And if you don't get to that today, you can do it in the morning because every morning is full of new mercies!
Happy New Year blog world friends! I pray God's faithful provision, tangible presence and sustaining JOY over each and every one of you for 2014!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
2010: A Great Year!
I always pray for God to show me a verse that I need to focus on for the year. On January 1 I wrote down John 15:11 as I know God wants me to recognize that joy is a large part of following Him and one of the fruits of the Spirit (one I have been missing for the past couple of years). But as January has progressed, the first 10 versus have come up in about 4 different teachings/studies I have done. I even had a friend post John 15:7 on my facebook page in response to getting our license. This morning, I feel God impressing on me that the entire passage from vs 1-11 will by 2010 for our family!
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
We will have to abide in God, press into Him like never before. But when we do, we will see fruit, joy and answer to prayers like never before! It has been a long time since we have had a year like that!!! In fact for the past three years we have said, "I can't wait for 200_ to be done and 200_ to be here!" I refused to say that this year because it felt like I had said that every year only for the year coming to be even worse! But this year is different! I know it! I will stand on it! And the cool thing is that I have heard many others in the Body saying they have gotten the same message from God! Twenty-ten is the year for God's people to receive answers to prayers in order for His glory to rise up in the world! Not just me, not just my community, my state or even the United States, but the WORLD!!!!
I believe it strongly enough that I am going to put a prayer request/answer counter on my sidebar! I want to be conscious of the prayers God answers for me this year. So many times I keep track of the sorrows and not the blessings, so this year, I am turning the tables!
My spirit is doing a happy dance like never before! This is what being a Christ Follower is truly all about!
Acts Chapter 2:
14Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: "Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. 15These men are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning! 16No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: 17" 'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. 18Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. 19I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. 20The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. 21And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
We will have to abide in God, press into Him like never before. But when we do, we will see fruit, joy and answer to prayers like never before! It has been a long time since we have had a year like that!!! In fact for the past three years we have said, "I can't wait for 200_ to be done and 200_ to be here!" I refused to say that this year because it felt like I had said that every year only for the year coming to be even worse! But this year is different! I know it! I will stand on it! And the cool thing is that I have heard many others in the Body saying they have gotten the same message from God! Twenty-ten is the year for God's people to receive answers to prayers in order for His glory to rise up in the world! Not just me, not just my community, my state or even the United States, but the WORLD!!!!
I believe it strongly enough that I am going to put a prayer request/answer counter on my sidebar! I want to be conscious of the prayers God answers for me this year. So many times I keep track of the sorrows and not the blessings, so this year, I am turning the tables!
My spirit is doing a happy dance like never before! This is what being a Christ Follower is truly all about!
Acts Chapter 2:
14Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: "Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. 15These men are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning! 16No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: 17" 'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. 18Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. 19I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. 20The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. 21And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'
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