The Journey: Reflections

Whewh! Have just a few minutes to write some reflections here. Baby Girl is asleep in the swing for a minute and other two at home have breakfast and are busy at play for the time being!

Two weeks ago today our lives were changed forever! Whether we have Baby Girl forever or not, she will leave her footprint on our family!

The two weeks leading up to her being placed in our home are a blur. But as I have looked back on it, I have seen some major God moments that I totally underestimated at the time. One such moment was the Thursday morning before we went to court on Friday. During the whole process, I was so intent on making sure I didn't get in God's way. I didn't want to have any agenda in the situation. I wanted only to follow God and be His hands and feet. If that was to serve "Sally", then that is what I wanted to do. If that was to be momma to Baby Girl even for a brief time, then that is what I wanted to do.

In that, I had prayed differently than ever before. I just prayed for God to move and show me what to do. I cried out time and again to make it clear so that I would not get ahead, behind to the right or to the left of Him. It was probably one of the best places I have ever been with God...fully trusting, wholy leaning on and totally in love with! I just wanted to please Him and do His will - period!

Thursday morning when I was getting ready, God impressed on me that I should specifically pray that Baby Girl be placed in our home. It stopped me in my tracks. I began arguing with God (why do I do that?!). I began going down the list of why I hadn't already done that: what if she was with a wonderful foster family who was hoping to keep her and their hearts were ripped our if she were moved to us; what if that was not what our role was in this and I asked, it didn't happen, and I had to wrestle with unanswered prayer again; what if she did come to live with us and then goes back with Sally. God's answer? "I know, Trust Me! Obey Me!"

I didn't know why God was asking me to pray that Baby Girl would be placed with us, but I knew that not praying it right then would be outside of obedience, so I asked. The verse God has me in for 2010 is John 15, and I believe that God was reminding me of what He wants to teach me this year about His character and prayer! I was abiding in Him like I never have. Because of that, He was telling me exactly what to pray and that is when John 15:7 comes to life: "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you." I didn't really know if I "wished" for Baby Girl to be with us. But I did know that God was stirring in my heart to ask for it! He knew better than me how much I truly did long for her to be here.

Has the past two weeks been tough? Yes! Our lives were turned upside down in an instant as we have struggled to find a "new normal" as a house of seven with a new baby. We all know that a new baby puts a magnifine glass on any struggles in a marriage or the running of a home. So yes, it has been tough! But even in some of those moments that are tough, I stop to change a diaper. She looks at me and smiles her beautiful smile and all the "tough" melts away! She is so worth it! Even if it is only for a year! What greater joy is there than to pour my heart and soul into a little life for the time I have her! What greater gift to give her than to sing the love of Jesus over her as she goes to sleep each night and speak His blessings over her life as it gets its start! Will my heart be ripped out if she has to leave, probably. But for now, she is here. For now, she stops crying when I hold her. For now, she is my baby girl. For now, I will lay down my life for her and love her as if it will be forever!

2010: A Great Year!

I always pray for God to show me a verse that I need to focus on for the year. On January 1 I wrote down John 15:11 as I know God wants me to recognize that joy is a large part of following Him and one of the fruits of the Spirit (one I have been missing for the past couple of years). But as January has progressed, the first 10 versus have come up in about 4 different teachings/studies I have done. I even had a friend post John 15:7 on my facebook page in response to getting our license. This morning, I feel God impressing on me that the entire passage from vs 1-11 will by 2010 for our family!

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

We will have to abide in God, press into Him like never before. But when we do, we will see fruit, joy and answer to prayers like never before! It has been a long time since we have had a year like that!!! In fact for the past three years we have said, "I can't wait for 200_ to be done and 200_ to be here!" I refused to say that this year because it felt like I had said that every year only for the year coming to be even worse! But this year is different! I know it! I will stand on it! And the cool thing is that I have heard many others in the Body saying they have gotten the same message from God! Twenty-ten is the year for God's people to receive answers to prayers in order for His glory to rise up in the world! Not just me, not just my community, my state or even the United States, but the WORLD!!!!

I believe it strongly enough that I am going to put a prayer request/answer counter on my sidebar! I want to be conscious of the prayers God answers for me this year. So many times I keep track of the sorrows and not the blessings, so this year, I am turning the tables!

My spirit is doing a happy dance like never before! This is what being a Christ Follower is truly all about!

Acts Chapter 2:
14Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: "Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. 15These men are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning! 16No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: 17" 'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. 18Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. 19I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. 20The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. 21And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'