I haven't been much of a blogger lately. It has not been for lack of material to blog, just lack of time to blog it. But I am hoping to change that.
The last two years have been quite the season. I don't think I would go so far as to call it a dark night of the soul, but to say it has been a season of pruning and stretching doesn't quite pay homage to the depth of work God has done in my life. I hope you will see in the posts to come that God has radically change my life through the course of these past 18-24 months.
This quote by Bill Johnson in When Heaven Invades Earth probably best sums up my journey: "It's important to understand God's promise and purpose for the Church so that we might become dissatisfied - so that we will become desperate. Intercession from insatiable hunger moves the heart of God as nothing else can." Over the past 15 years, God has taken me to places that I was quite sure I was at the end of myself. However, if those places were the end of myself, then this past season left myself in the dust and took me to the end of a place I didn't even know existed! But in that place I became desperate for God in a way I have never been. And God was true to His word: when we seek Him we will find Him!
So often in this past season I found myself desperately clinging to the promises of the Bible while trying to line up my circumstances and reality with what the scriptures said. To put it bluntly, they didn't mesh! So my search began for why they didn't! What I found has changed me forever. What I found showed me that while I survived this season, I lived most days in defeat with bloody wounds where I had allowed the enemy access he should have never had. I did the best I could with that I knew then. I have some regrets, but I have no condemnation or "I shoulda's" because I truly lived this season on my face begging for wisdom, direction, mercy and grace. There are a few things I can look back on and wish I had handled a different way, but I also remember the despair and weariness of those times....words that demonstrate even more the defeat I lived in many days.
I am walking out of this season with revelations about God - not head knowledge about who God is said to be, but heart experience about who He is to me! There is a difference! We have a new kitchen which is a blog post for another time...part of that remodel is an amazing pantry, and on that pantry floor is Psalm:8, "Taste and see that the Lord is good." I don't know that I purposely set out to "taste" in this season, but walking out of it, I can testify that I have tasted, and indeed the Lord is good! Yes, my family was turned upside down and inside out. Yes, my ministry and calling on my life has been tested and attacked. Yes, I have a daughter who is not a part of my life right now. Yes, I have a grand baby who has no idea who MiMi is. Yes, I have another grand baby coming into this world in June who I may or may not get to hold in my arms. Yes, my identity has been turned upside down as defined by stay-at-home mom. But there is not a path that I have walked the past months that I would not walk again. Could I head down some of the paths if I knew what they would hold, no. That is why it's called faith! If it was sight, I would surely have turned around or fainted from fear at what was coming up. Do I wish some of the paths had taken different turns, absolutely! But the paths on this journey have brought me to a place of desperation for intimacy with God like no other time in my life. And for that, I am eternally thankful!
It will take awhile for me to get it all out here, but I will write as God leads. It's part of my instruction for 2013 - share what God has taught me and walk in obedience! But what you need to know about me is now I am one of "them"! I have been radically touched by a living God. I have experienced His presence like never before in my life...and once you have experienced Him, there is no turning back! Holy Roller, Charismatic, Jesus Freak, Radical, Weird, Over the top, what ever the title used to describe one who is totally and completely sold out to Jesus with no box to keep Him in and only the expectation of new revelation and a desire to bring honor and glory to God like never before, well that's me. We have a saying at our house right now, "The weirder, the better!" - not for "weird" sake, but for the purpose of experiencing God in life changing ways that allow us to then touch others in life changing ways.
Before you right me off and quit reading because I have left theology for "feelings", let me leave you with a couple of thoughts that when put together should challenge any American Christian - "Unless I do the works of the Father, do not believe me." John 10:37 NKJV And in the words of Bill Johnson, "Jesus gave people the right to disbelieve it all if there was no demonstration of power upon His ministry. I hunger for the day when the Church will make the same statement to the world. If we're not doing the miracles that Jesus did, you don't have to believe us." And before you discount him, let me leave you with this final word - "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these he will do, because I am going to the Father." John 14:12
Challenge: based on this standard, who would believe you? And if you are not using this standard, why not?
Check back! Let me share where I was....it was a long trip to this place! Don't discount it yet. Hear me out. All of us who have accepted Christ as our Savior have the authority and power to walk each day in victory here on earth....we don't have to wait until we die and go to heave...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven! And that's my prayer for each of you!
Showing posts with label persepctive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label persepctive. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Friday, October 30, 2009
In Good Company!
When it comes to attacks and hardships, any of us experienceing conflict because of our beliefs or taking a stand...we are in good company! Listen to this!
"I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. 24Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. 25Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, 26I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. 27I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. 28Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. 29Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?" ~2 Corinthians 11:23b-29
And then my favorite part. Paul is sharing about the thorn in his flesh that keeps him humble. I never really realized that is the context with which he then states: "8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Hallelujah! As Beth Moore's daughter, Melissa, said in one of Beth's recent podcasts, "Bring it on! Bring it on!" The fire will bring refining! Through the insults, hardtimes and difficulties, Christ's power will dwell in me!
Oh how I love my God, my Heavenly Daddy who takes me straight to a scripture like this at 4 in the morning after the week I have had full of so many conflicts! His word is alive and active! He loves me so much that He brought me right to the scripture that He knew would remind me why the fires come....He is completing my perfection until the day of Christ's coming! Is it hard? YES! Do I whine a lot? YES! But do I love that my God is working on me? YES!!!!!
Refine me Lord! The fire is hot, and I am excited! For when I walk out on the other side, I will look more like You than I do today and that is what will bring You glory...my whole purpose for being on this earth! Praise You!
And now, I am going to try and get some sleep! Good night! ;0)
"I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. 24Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. 25Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, 26I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. 27I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. 28Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. 29Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?" ~2 Corinthians 11:23b-29
And then my favorite part. Paul is sharing about the thorn in his flesh that keeps him humble. I never really realized that is the context with which he then states: "8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Hallelujah! As Beth Moore's daughter, Melissa, said in one of Beth's recent podcasts, "Bring it on! Bring it on!" The fire will bring refining! Through the insults, hardtimes and difficulties, Christ's power will dwell in me!
Oh how I love my God, my Heavenly Daddy who takes me straight to a scripture like this at 4 in the morning after the week I have had full of so many conflicts! His word is alive and active! He loves me so much that He brought me right to the scripture that He knew would remind me why the fires come....He is completing my perfection until the day of Christ's coming! Is it hard? YES! Do I whine a lot? YES! But do I love that my God is working on me? YES!!!!!
Refine me Lord! The fire is hot, and I am excited! For when I walk out on the other side, I will look more like You than I do today and that is what will bring You glory...my whole purpose for being on this earth! Praise You!
And now, I am going to try and get some sleep! Good night! ;0)
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Don't Waste Your Life
I started reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper a while back. I blogged some about it. Well, I picked it up again last night. It amazed me lately how God puts exactly the right material in my hand at exactly the right time! Here are some things that spoke to me....hope they encourage you!
"...the life of a Christian includes many deaths...(1 Cor 15:31, Luke 9:23)...Daily Christian living is daily Christian dying. The dying I have in mind is the dying of comfort and security and reputation and health and family and friends and wealth and home land. These may be taken from us at any time in the path of Christ-exalting obedience....In other words, the way we honor Christ in death is to treasure Jesus above the gift of life, and the way we honor Christ in life is to treasure Jesus above life's gifts."
"Untold number of professing Christians waste their lives trying to escape the cost of love. They do not see that it is always worth it. There is more of God's glory to be seen and savored through suffering than through self-serving escape."
"All who desire to live a godly life in Christ will be persecuted" (2 Tim 3:12) [emphasis mine]
"What a tragic waste when people turn away from the Calvary road of love and suffering. All the riches of the glory of God in Christ are on that road. All the sweetest fellowship of Jesus is there. All the treasures of assurance. All the ecstasies of joy. All the clearest sightings of eternity. All the noblest camaraderie. All the the humblest affections. All the most tender acts of forgiving kindness. All the deepest discoveries of God's Word. All the most earnest prayers. They are all on the Calvary road where Jesus walks with his people. Take up your cross and follow Jesus. On this road and this road alone, life is Christ and death is gain. Life on every other road is wasted."
Powerful words!
"...the life of a Christian includes many deaths...(1 Cor 15:31, Luke 9:23)...Daily Christian living is daily Christian dying. The dying I have in mind is the dying of comfort and security and reputation and health and family and friends and wealth and home land. These may be taken from us at any time in the path of Christ-exalting obedience....In other words, the way we honor Christ in death is to treasure Jesus above the gift of life, and the way we honor Christ in life is to treasure Jesus above life's gifts."
"Untold number of professing Christians waste their lives trying to escape the cost of love. They do not see that it is always worth it. There is more of God's glory to be seen and savored through suffering than through self-serving escape."
"All who desire to live a godly life in Christ will be persecuted" (2 Tim 3:12) [emphasis mine]
"What a tragic waste when people turn away from the Calvary road of love and suffering. All the riches of the glory of God in Christ are on that road. All the sweetest fellowship of Jesus is there. All the treasures of assurance. All the ecstasies of joy. All the clearest sightings of eternity. All the noblest camaraderie. All the the humblest affections. All the most tender acts of forgiving kindness. All the deepest discoveries of God's Word. All the most earnest prayers. They are all on the Calvary road where Jesus walks with his people. Take up your cross and follow Jesus. On this road and this road alone, life is Christ and death is gain. Life on every other road is wasted."
Powerful words!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Perspectives.....
I have really been struggling. Really feeling sorry for myself. Really questioning if I needed to continue on some of the paths I am on. I am really ready to be a stay at home mom who has no other responsibilities but her husband, house and children. The work God has me in right now is very stressful. Stressful in ways I have never known. It is hard to work sometimes when the people you work with don't know all the sides of an issue so they make judgements, etc. I take things way too personally! JOhn tells me that all the time. But I really care what people think about my reputation....not about me, like if I am pretty, or if they agree with me, but that I am honest and trustworthy, etc. But I am learning the closer you walk with God and the more He calls you to serve Him, even people that you think understand, will not understand. So that has made me want to walk out on some things. (I will post more about this as I work through it!) But today I had a wake up call....
I went to a reception for a dear friend of mine who is turning 50. She is a powerful woman in Washington DC and works in Sudan, China and South Korea for the persecuted church. She is amazing! When I was at the reception I met a pastor from Eithiopia who now lives here in America. I was talking to my friend's husband on the way out, and he started telling me about this pastor. He was persecuted in Ethiopia for his faith. He has been jailed 21 times, he was hung upside down and poured boiling oil on him, one of the converts with him had his eyes couged (sp?)out. I just stood there. You read stories about people like that....and I have even heard Brother Yun (Heavenly Man) speak in person. But to be standing there in conversation with someone in your every day life who has suffered that kind of persecution made me stop and think! I had just heard this man pray 10 minutes before this not knowing his testimony. Even with out knowing his testimony, he struck me as such a gracious and thankful person! There was not a hint of bitterness toward God or an attitude that God owed him because of what he had suffered. God must really hate my whiny attitude about my life and how hard it is! It really put things in perspecitve, and I had to spend some time on my knees asking for forgiveness and wisdom to overcome my stinky attitude!
I went to a reception for a dear friend of mine who is turning 50. She is a powerful woman in Washington DC and works in Sudan, China and South Korea for the persecuted church. She is amazing! When I was at the reception I met a pastor from Eithiopia who now lives here in America. I was talking to my friend's husband on the way out, and he started telling me about this pastor. He was persecuted in Ethiopia for his faith. He has been jailed 21 times, he was hung upside down and poured boiling oil on him, one of the converts with him had his eyes couged (sp?)out. I just stood there. You read stories about people like that....and I have even heard Brother Yun (Heavenly Man) speak in person. But to be standing there in conversation with someone in your every day life who has suffered that kind of persecution made me stop and think! I had just heard this man pray 10 minutes before this not knowing his testimony. Even with out knowing his testimony, he struck me as such a gracious and thankful person! There was not a hint of bitterness toward God or an attitude that God owed him because of what he had suffered. God must really hate my whiny attitude about my life and how hard it is! It really put things in perspecitve, and I had to spend some time on my knees asking for forgiveness and wisdom to overcome my stinky attitude!
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