God uses some of the craziest things to speak to me sometimes! And this evening in the craziness of getting everyone ready and in bed was one of those times!
Ava had gotten a purple plastic slinky at the dentist today. Side note here. I took the 7 youngest kids to the dentist by myself today. Callie was home with a stomach virus so she didn't make her appointment. Can I tell you that I didn't make it? After the three year old's complete melt down over having to pick only "one" toy from the toy chest, I sent the SOS telling John to get home ASAP! Just keeping it real! Which really just makes this message all the more relevant on some levels!
Back to the subject. Ava had chosen the purple plastic slinky as her toy at the dentist. During the bed time routine, one of the younger ones brings it to me. It is a mangled mess. I ask the deliverer of the slinky what happened. The deliverer of the slinky proceeds to tell me that said child and one of the other children broke it. I immediately thought of how heart broken Ava will be when she discovers that her prize has been demolished. I start working feverishly to untangle the mess. I twist this way. I turn that way. But no matter what I do, I can't undo it. I get a few kinks out, but it is still a tangled mess and looks nothing like the slinky Ava had chosen from the treasure chest....and for the most part is rather useless in this state.
As I was trying to untangle all the plastic curves, God whispered to the deepest part of my soul "This is how I feel when others hurt you!" You see, I knew the hurt it was going to cause Ava to discover that her siblings had ruined her toy. But no amount of wishing or working could erase that two people had exercised free will to destroy something that was not theirs. No amount of love or desire to protect could keep my two children from hurting my other child. I would have given anything for them to not have done that to her toy. But even in all my power as the mother of all three children, I could not undo what two had chosen to do in their free will.
The majority of the pain and difficulties in my life over the past 10 years, but truly the last 3, have come as a result of decisions of other people. I have my own consequences to own due to my own sin and disobedience, but there are many deep, deep wounds that are the results of others. So many times in the moments when I am truly honest with myself and God, I cry out, "WHY?! Why would you let them do that? Why would you allow me to hurt in that way?" And in that moment of untangling a mingled purple plastic toy, God showed me that he never allowed it and that He hurt too! He showed me that He would have done anything to stop and now to "undo" what His children had chosen in free will to do that caused me pain. But He showed me that just as my love and desire to shield Ava from the hurt could not stop or undo what had been done by others in free will, so could He not undo what was done to me in free will.
So if you are struggling right now with pain that has been caused by the choices of others, can I tell you that God hurts with you! He is clear in His Word that free will is the way of this world. He will not force Himself or His ways on anyone. That person that hurt you was operating out of their own selfish desires. God did not choose what happened, and He hurts with you now. He wants to walk through healing with you. He wants to take the pain that was caused by others and use it for His good!
When Ava discovered that her slinky was a tangled mess, she was indeed heartbroken. As her mother, I responded the only way I knew how to ease her pain, "I will buy you a new one when we find one to undo what had been done." Can I tell you that God is standing by ready to make new whatever has happened to you? Can He totally erase what you have been through? No! But He does promise in His Word that what the enemy meant for your destruction, He will turn around for your good! Will you let Him do that today? Let Him unravel your purple plastic twisted mess and make you knew again! He hurts where those have hurt you! Let Him apply His healing balm to those wounds and make you new again!
"Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration and the power of a new life) shall spring forth speedily; your righteousness (your rightness, your justice, and your right relationship with God) shall go before you [conducting you to peace and prosperity], and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard." Isaiah 58:8
Showing posts with label The body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The body. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
You are not reaching your full potential if you are not in church!
You are not reaching your full potential if you are not in church. Stick with me! I know that is a bold and controversial statement!
Let me make two points very clear before I continue. 1) I LOVE the Body of Christ! I love how He set it up to operate. I love how, when it operates as He intended, there is nothing more powerful, more loving, or more genuine, than the Body of Christ! 2) I have been hurt deeply by the "church". More than once, I have pleaded with God to show me a way other than having to find a new "church" to be part of His Body. Joining a new church felt a little like leading myself to the guillotine at times! And maybe a third point 3) I don't define "church" as a building. I believe any group of people who meet for the purpose of worship, teaching, encouraging and equipping followers of Christ are a "church" and a Body of Christ.
We had been attending and prayerfully seeking God's direction for us in a Body since moving. But recently, felt God asking us to move to a new body for several reasons. So we set out to find where God wanted us to be. We didn't miss a single week of church. My awesome husband even took our 8 plus two extra teens on a week that I was out of town for work. But can I tell you that in those four weeks that we were "homeless", I was reminded that I will never reach my full potential if I am not in fellowship regularly with other believers.
I understand. That pastor betrayed your trust, your respect. That church leader was completely insensitive and maybe even inappropriate in the way they handled your life crisis. There are probably very few church issues that bring pain that you could throw my way that John and I haven't walked through ourselves at some point. But we understand these leaders, pastors, teachers, other church members are human...just like us! I have hurt people's feelings....people in my church. I have had to go apologize and ask forgiveness for hurting feelings. The bottom line is, there is no perfect church because it is made up of humans like me.
But, there is a perfect church for my family....and for you and your family! God never intended for us to do life alone! Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 both talk of how we are just part of a body. "For the body does not consist of one member but of many" You alone, are NOT the Body of Christ! And if you are not in a Body of Christ, that Body is missing a part..a toe, an arm, a head even maybe! Do you realize without you, some Body of Christ that you are called to is quite possibly having to operate without a vital part?
And without that Body in your life, you are not all you can be! I don't care how mature you think you are. I don't care how much tv church you watch. Without a Body of believers that you know and who know you, you are not able to do all you can do. I know there are circumstances with health where you can't get out of the house, and for those I am so thankful for technology that can bring church to a home! But for those who just use that as the checklist for church or to ease your mind about going to church, it's not the same! Look at Jesus himself! He met regularly with his 12, then even more intimately with three. And he met often with a crowd! If Jesus needed a Body to reach His potential, what makes us think we are different? If He didn't have the maturity to do it alone, how can we even begin to think we can?
God couldn't have made it any clearer, "do not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25. During those four weeks, I was trying to do my individual study with God every morning. I was using online worship services during the week to keep myself encouraged. But even still, the depression started setting in. You see just like a big cat after its prey, when the enemy can isolate us from the herd, we are so much easier to take down! As we sat in a different church each week where we felt like strangers, because we were, I realized that I would never reach my full potential if we did not find a body where I could plug in. Be a part of what God was doing in a Body of believers. Being part of something bigger than ourselves keeps us encouraged and moving forward! It keeps the focus off of us! One of the biggest weapons the enemy has it to get me focused on me! When I am not part of a church, it is so much easier to become focused inward!
So let me encourage you to allow God to heal the wounds you may have from "church people". No pastor is infallible! But God is! Don't trust a church, trust God! Trust that He can bring healing from your past hurts and any future hurts. Then ask Him to show you where He wants you! He has a place He needs you to plug in because He has called and gifted you to be a part of a body! And that body needs you...and you need that body!
Let me make two points very clear before I continue. 1) I LOVE the Body of Christ! I love how He set it up to operate. I love how, when it operates as He intended, there is nothing more powerful, more loving, or more genuine, than the Body of Christ! 2) I have been hurt deeply by the "church". More than once, I have pleaded with God to show me a way other than having to find a new "church" to be part of His Body. Joining a new church felt a little like leading myself to the guillotine at times! And maybe a third point 3) I don't define "church" as a building. I believe any group of people who meet for the purpose of worship, teaching, encouraging and equipping followers of Christ are a "church" and a Body of Christ.
We had been attending and prayerfully seeking God's direction for us in a Body since moving. But recently, felt God asking us to move to a new body for several reasons. So we set out to find where God wanted us to be. We didn't miss a single week of church. My awesome husband even took our 8 plus two extra teens on a week that I was out of town for work. But can I tell you that in those four weeks that we were "homeless", I was reminded that I will never reach my full potential if I am not in fellowship regularly with other believers.
I understand. That pastor betrayed your trust, your respect. That church leader was completely insensitive and maybe even inappropriate in the way they handled your life crisis. There are probably very few church issues that bring pain that you could throw my way that John and I haven't walked through ourselves at some point. But we understand these leaders, pastors, teachers, other church members are human...just like us! I have hurt people's feelings....people in my church. I have had to go apologize and ask forgiveness for hurting feelings. The bottom line is, there is no perfect church because it is made up of humans like me.
But, there is a perfect church for my family....and for you and your family! God never intended for us to do life alone! Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 both talk of how we are just part of a body. "For the body does not consist of one member but of many" You alone, are NOT the Body of Christ! And if you are not in a Body of Christ, that Body is missing a part..a toe, an arm, a head even maybe! Do you realize without you, some Body of Christ that you are called to is quite possibly having to operate without a vital part?
And without that Body in your life, you are not all you can be! I don't care how mature you think you are. I don't care how much tv church you watch. Without a Body of believers that you know and who know you, you are not able to do all you can do. I know there are circumstances with health where you can't get out of the house, and for those I am so thankful for technology that can bring church to a home! But for those who just use that as the checklist for church or to ease your mind about going to church, it's not the same! Look at Jesus himself! He met regularly with his 12, then even more intimately with three. And he met often with a crowd! If Jesus needed a Body to reach His potential, what makes us think we are different? If He didn't have the maturity to do it alone, how can we even begin to think we can?
God couldn't have made it any clearer, "do not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25. During those four weeks, I was trying to do my individual study with God every morning. I was using online worship services during the week to keep myself encouraged. But even still, the depression started setting in. You see just like a big cat after its prey, when the enemy can isolate us from the herd, we are so much easier to take down! As we sat in a different church each week where we felt like strangers, because we were, I realized that I would never reach my full potential if we did not find a body where I could plug in. Be a part of what God was doing in a Body of believers. Being part of something bigger than ourselves keeps us encouraged and moving forward! It keeps the focus off of us! One of the biggest weapons the enemy has it to get me focused on me! When I am not part of a church, it is so much easier to become focused inward!
So let me encourage you to allow God to heal the wounds you may have from "church people". No pastor is infallible! But God is! Don't trust a church, trust God! Trust that He can bring healing from your past hurts and any future hurts. Then ask Him to show you where He wants you! He has a place He needs you to plug in because He has called and gifted you to be a part of a body! And that body needs you...and you need that body!
Monday, October 14, 2013
Stricter Abortion Law: We can't ignore the ripples
Texas has passed the most restrictive abortion law of any state yet. The new regulations will go into effect the end of this month. Before I get into this, let me make clear that I am most definitely pro-life. I am against abortion. I believe God is the giver of all life and should be the one who decides when life should end. Maybe I will blog another time about why I believe that. Really, it goes beyond my faith! I decided at 11 years old I was pro-life before I really knew anything about my faith!
When the battle over the legislation was in full force I did my share of Facebook shares of the information. I asked my state representatives and senator to support the bill. And I can say with some certainty that the results of the now law that I will discuss here most likely saved a baby in my own family. I believe in it. I am thankful for it.
However, I fear most who marched on the steps of the Texas Capital or posted their support from their computer on Facebook celebrated once the bill passed into law, but now what? You see the bill being passed was the pebble...or quite possibly the boulder...that was thrown into the lake. But the ripples are just now starting! There are consequences of legislation. There will no doubt be babies saved because this stricter legislation has shut down abortion clinics. Praise God! Women's lives will also be saved as stricter regulations will provide for cleaner and more professional settings for those who do choose to abort a baby. You can read about some of the ripples already starting in DallasNews and the Star-Telegram. The effects are real.
But there is more. I sat talking to one of our adoptive families right after the legislation passed. This is a family who is not looking for a baby. They are one of my heroes who are committed to providing a home for one or two of the older kids who wait in our foster system. But in our conversation, the husband made a comment that left a knot in my stomach. He said something like, "The agency is going to explode now with all the babies that aren't aborted!" I can honestly say I had not thought of that. But since that day, it has not left me.
Here's the facts. The legislation will no doubt prevent some abortions. Babies will be saved. But what then? What happens to that baby? Most women who are considering abortion are in that place because they feel unprepared to parent a child for a multitude of reasons. So what do we do now with a mom who doesn't want to be a mom? Let me stop here and say that I know there will be many, probably most, women who by the end of their pregnancy will have come to a place where they are grateful they did not abort and will have made whatever changes or sacrifices needed to be made to go on to be amazing mothers for their new baby. I don't believe nor intend to allude here that all babies not aborted will not be parented by the women who birth them. But what about those who aren't?
If those of us on the pro-life side are sitting back thinking the work is done, well, we are clueless. If we think for one minute that the pro-choice activists are not watching every statistic in our state - child abuse numbers, Women, Infant and Children's Nutrition numbers, Child Protective Services numbers, infant mortality numbers - then we are more than naive. All of this will be monitored. If we don't provide an intervention for those babies that this law saves, then we have failed. I fear that most see the law as the victory, and they are done. But really, the work has only begun!
This is how it looks in my world. Eight of the nine children who I am raising should have been aborted by most pro-choice standards. Only one of my children was a planned pregnancy, and the other eight were God-given blessings with un-planned pregnancies. Six of those eight children met most if not all of the bullet points for why women should abort. They were in poverty, some were into drugs and other detrimental habits. One of my children was conceived after two pregnancies had been terminated by abortion. Only by God's grace does this child breath life! I remember being in high school and being in the abortion debate in my government class. My teacher was pro-choice. There were several of us in the class who were pro-life, and we were all very outspoken about it. I will never forget during one of the debates, Ms. Fowler said, "I wish all those who want to keep these babies alive would put their money where their mouth is and raise them instead of letting the government do it." I was highly offended that day, but even deep down in the gut of a immature high school girl, I knew she had a point. I have no idea where Ms. Fowler is today, but I would love to tell her that I have to agree with her now! Not much I can say that about, but on that fact, I agree! And I would love to look her in the eyes and say, I put my money, my time, my life where my mouth is! Thank you for the challenge!
I am sure many would say, "there are so many families waiting for a baby, that will not be a problem!" Maybe so, but what about those babies who are born with the birth defects? What about the babies who are born addicted to drugs? What about the babies who have been exposed to alcohol and you have no way of knowing just what that fact will mean for you or your child until they are older? Very few of those waiting families are willing to take those babies. And what about the babies that don't look like those families? You know, the darker ones that are already difficult for agencies to place with families. I don't mean to offend anyone here, but it does us no good to ignore reality!
Let me take it a step further. What about the 13,000 children who are currently in the foster system in Texas whose parents did choose life? Obviously those parents were not ready to be parents for some reason or their children would not be in the custody of the state. Some of those parents will get another chance, and their children will be returned. What about the ones that will not be returned? What about the over 6,000 children who right now sit in the foster system with parents' rights terminated ready to be adopted.....but no families to adopt them? Their parents chose life when legislation didn't dictate it. What are we doing about it?
"We" is such a vague word, isn't it. It's kind of like "they". So who is "we"? Well, in this case, I would say "we" starts with anyone who wrote a letter, posted on their Facebook page, marched on the lawn, or otherwise supported the legislation to provide stricter abortion laws in any way. You are "we"! Thank you for your part in getting the legislation passed! I sincerely mean that! I am thankful! But you can't stop there! You have to now provide an answer for those parents who choose life because abortions are no longer readily available! We have to provide a solution to the ripples coming from the pebble that was tossed!
But honestly, the "we" is much bigger than that group of people. And really, this is the "we" I want to reach out to here! The bigger "we" is the Church! Are we not called to provide answers to a lost world? Is the Church not called to care for the least of these? First John 3:17-18 says it best, "But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." My question is when is the Church going to quit talking about it and start doing it? There are over 6,000 children in Texas waiting on you! You realize that it would take less than one family per church in the state to adopt in order to completely empty the state of Texas of waiting children? That is insane! What are we waiting for? If you are not convinced, read James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
If this legislation becomes the basis to fight all other legislation in every other state because we, the Church, does not stand up with answers to these girls who are in crisis pregnancies, then we have failed. Will you help? Will you take this message to your church leaders? Will you take the initiative to look up an adoption agency in your area? Friends in Midland or Odessa and surrounding areas in West Texas, we would gladly send an Addy's Hope representative to speak to your pastor or even your congregation about adoption as an educational meeting. We can give you resources to hand to women in crisis pregnancy. Adoption should be the last option for these girls. We can help give you resources to put in their hands to give them every opportunity to parent. If they are still unable to parent, we would love to provide them with the option of adoption by a Christian family! If you are in the Dallas or Fort Worth area, I can come speak to your pastor and/or congregation. Help spread the word that the battle over abortion is not over in Texas, but I believe it has just started! Let's give our fellow pro-life warriors in other states numbers to support pro-life legislation in their state! And in the mean time, we will be saving a generation from the hands of the enemy. And in my books, that is a win/win deal!
If you need resources for a woman in crisis pregnancy or would like more information on how to be the answer to the children already here and needing a family, I would be happy to help. You can reach me by e-mail at hollyann@addyshope.com or by phone at 432.897.1503. Our website is under construction, but will be a great resource very soon! If you are a pastor reading this, please take a Sunday night, Wednesday night or at least the corner of your bulletin or a flash on your screen for announcements to educate your congregation on the answers to crisis pregnancies and the need for adoptive families for children in foster care!
We, the Church, have The Answer! It's time we start sharing it in more ways than just inside our church walls! Let's be the answer!
When the battle over the legislation was in full force I did my share of Facebook shares of the information. I asked my state representatives and senator to support the bill. And I can say with some certainty that the results of the now law that I will discuss here most likely saved a baby in my own family. I believe in it. I am thankful for it.
However, I fear most who marched on the steps of the Texas Capital or posted their support from their computer on Facebook celebrated once the bill passed into law, but now what? You see the bill being passed was the pebble...or quite possibly the boulder...that was thrown into the lake. But the ripples are just now starting! There are consequences of legislation. There will no doubt be babies saved because this stricter legislation has shut down abortion clinics. Praise God! Women's lives will also be saved as stricter regulations will provide for cleaner and more professional settings for those who do choose to abort a baby. You can read about some of the ripples already starting in DallasNews and the Star-Telegram. The effects are real.
But there is more. I sat talking to one of our adoptive families right after the legislation passed. This is a family who is not looking for a baby. They are one of my heroes who are committed to providing a home for one or two of the older kids who wait in our foster system. But in our conversation, the husband made a comment that left a knot in my stomach. He said something like, "The agency is going to explode now with all the babies that aren't aborted!" I can honestly say I had not thought of that. But since that day, it has not left me.
Here's the facts. The legislation will no doubt prevent some abortions. Babies will be saved. But what then? What happens to that baby? Most women who are considering abortion are in that place because they feel unprepared to parent a child for a multitude of reasons. So what do we do now with a mom who doesn't want to be a mom? Let me stop here and say that I know there will be many, probably most, women who by the end of their pregnancy will have come to a place where they are grateful they did not abort and will have made whatever changes or sacrifices needed to be made to go on to be amazing mothers for their new baby. I don't believe nor intend to allude here that all babies not aborted will not be parented by the women who birth them. But what about those who aren't?
If those of us on the pro-life side are sitting back thinking the work is done, well, we are clueless. If we think for one minute that the pro-choice activists are not watching every statistic in our state - child abuse numbers, Women, Infant and Children's Nutrition numbers, Child Protective Services numbers, infant mortality numbers - then we are more than naive. All of this will be monitored. If we don't provide an intervention for those babies that this law saves, then we have failed. I fear that most see the law as the victory, and they are done. But really, the work has only begun!
This is how it looks in my world. Eight of the nine children who I am raising should have been aborted by most pro-choice standards. Only one of my children was a planned pregnancy, and the other eight were God-given blessings with un-planned pregnancies. Six of those eight children met most if not all of the bullet points for why women should abort. They were in poverty, some were into drugs and other detrimental habits. One of my children was conceived after two pregnancies had been terminated by abortion. Only by God's grace does this child breath life! I remember being in high school and being in the abortion debate in my government class. My teacher was pro-choice. There were several of us in the class who were pro-life, and we were all very outspoken about it. I will never forget during one of the debates, Ms. Fowler said, "I wish all those who want to keep these babies alive would put their money where their mouth is and raise them instead of letting the government do it." I was highly offended that day, but even deep down in the gut of a immature high school girl, I knew she had a point. I have no idea where Ms. Fowler is today, but I would love to tell her that I have to agree with her now! Not much I can say that about, but on that fact, I agree! And I would love to look her in the eyes and say, I put my money, my time, my life where my mouth is! Thank you for the challenge!
I am sure many would say, "there are so many families waiting for a baby, that will not be a problem!" Maybe so, but what about those babies who are born with the birth defects? What about the babies who are born addicted to drugs? What about the babies who have been exposed to alcohol and you have no way of knowing just what that fact will mean for you or your child until they are older? Very few of those waiting families are willing to take those babies. And what about the babies that don't look like those families? You know, the darker ones that are already difficult for agencies to place with families. I don't mean to offend anyone here, but it does us no good to ignore reality!
Let me take it a step further. What about the 13,000 children who are currently in the foster system in Texas whose parents did choose life? Obviously those parents were not ready to be parents for some reason or their children would not be in the custody of the state. Some of those parents will get another chance, and their children will be returned. What about the ones that will not be returned? What about the over 6,000 children who right now sit in the foster system with parents' rights terminated ready to be adopted.....but no families to adopt them? Their parents chose life when legislation didn't dictate it. What are we doing about it?
"We" is such a vague word, isn't it. It's kind of like "they". So who is "we"? Well, in this case, I would say "we" starts with anyone who wrote a letter, posted on their Facebook page, marched on the lawn, or otherwise supported the legislation to provide stricter abortion laws in any way. You are "we"! Thank you for your part in getting the legislation passed! I sincerely mean that! I am thankful! But you can't stop there! You have to now provide an answer for those parents who choose life because abortions are no longer readily available! We have to provide a solution to the ripples coming from the pebble that was tossed!
But honestly, the "we" is much bigger than that group of people. And really, this is the "we" I want to reach out to here! The bigger "we" is the Church! Are we not called to provide answers to a lost world? Is the Church not called to care for the least of these? First John 3:17-18 says it best, "But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." My question is when is the Church going to quit talking about it and start doing it? There are over 6,000 children in Texas waiting on you! You realize that it would take less than one family per church in the state to adopt in order to completely empty the state of Texas of waiting children? That is insane! What are we waiting for? If you are not convinced, read James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
If this legislation becomes the basis to fight all other legislation in every other state because we, the Church, does not stand up with answers to these girls who are in crisis pregnancies, then we have failed. Will you help? Will you take this message to your church leaders? Will you take the initiative to look up an adoption agency in your area? Friends in Midland or Odessa and surrounding areas in West Texas, we would gladly send an Addy's Hope representative to speak to your pastor or even your congregation about adoption as an educational meeting. We can give you resources to hand to women in crisis pregnancy. Adoption should be the last option for these girls. We can help give you resources to put in their hands to give them every opportunity to parent. If they are still unable to parent, we would love to provide them with the option of adoption by a Christian family! If you are in the Dallas or Fort Worth area, I can come speak to your pastor and/or congregation. Help spread the word that the battle over abortion is not over in Texas, but I believe it has just started! Let's give our fellow pro-life warriors in other states numbers to support pro-life legislation in their state! And in the mean time, we will be saving a generation from the hands of the enemy. And in my books, that is a win/win deal!
If you need resources for a woman in crisis pregnancy or would like more information on how to be the answer to the children already here and needing a family, I would be happy to help. You can reach me by e-mail at hollyann@addyshope.com or by phone at 432.897.1503. Our website is under construction, but will be a great resource very soon! If you are a pastor reading this, please take a Sunday night, Wednesday night or at least the corner of your bulletin or a flash on your screen for announcements to educate your congregation on the answers to crisis pregnancies and the need for adoptive families for children in foster care!
We, the Church, have The Answer! It's time we start sharing it in more ways than just inside our church walls! Let's be the answer!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Prophecy: A Nuclear Weapon
I am reading an amazing book right now called Spirit Wars by Kris Vallotton, a pastor at Bethel in Redding, CA. You have heard me mention this church before as it is playing a vital role in my spiritual growth in this season.
The past five weeks have been rough. I went from working 20-30 hours a week to working 60 hours a week. For the first time in my mom career, I am working full time plus. I started a new exercise program that has me at my workout at 5:30 which means getting up at 4. I confess, that 4 wake up only happened a couple of times, which meant my quiet times didn't happen. You don't maintain a relationship without feeding it! The longer I went without my extended quiet times, the more despair crept in! I could feel it, I went through my weapons of warfare, but couldn't shake it...until Sunday.
Kris says this:
"Prophecy is like a nuclear weapon in the hands of a believer. It is important that we embrace the kind of prophetic culture that calls out our destiny and reminds us of God's work in our lives. If we despise, reject or do not believe in prophecy, we play into the enemy's hands by laying down a vitally important weapon of our warfare."
Amen! My breakthrough came through a prophetic word delivered by our Pastor this weekend! I have never sat under a pastor like Jeremy, my current pastor. He is "pastor" in every sense of the word. He is not perfect as no one is perfect, but he is an anointed pastor and understands like no one I have ever met what it means to shepherd his flock! Several times since we started going to LifeHouse, Jeremy has come to us and said, when I was praying for you, God said..... This weekend was one of those times. He had been at a conference this week and had spent time praying for his flock. There were a couple of families whom God spoke to him about directly, and we were one of them. He called us up during church yesterday and spoke the Word over us and prayed for us.
If you have never seen someone operate in the prophetic, you may not fully understand what I am talking about here. Let me challenge you to find a church where the gifts are practiced and watch when the prophetic ministry occurs. Ask God to reveal the prophetic ministry to you. Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4 all talk about prophecy as a spiritual gift. Remember, I was not a believer in the spiritual gifts even five years ago. However, God placed me in battles that required all He had for me to fight with or I would have lost! Prophecy is one of those weapons! And this weekend it sliced through the doubt, the guilt, the frustration, the anger with God when no other weapon in my arsenal had seemed to make a dent.
The Word Jeremy spoke was exactly what John and I are facing. It was basically that we are carrying a "wide load" and that it is taking longer than we thought because we are having to take back roads, but if we keep moving forward and pressing on, there will be a great "payday" when we get there. That doesn't necessarily mean financial, but just that we must run the race as one who wants the price as Paul said it.
I wish I could describe what happened inside of me as Jeremy spoke. But I can't really put it to words other than to say it encouraged me! It showed me that God had heard my cries and had given someone with flesh and blood a way to encourage me in my state of confusion and frustration! It silenced the voices that even then I knew were the enemy taunting me.
Prophecy is such a vital tool in the life of anyone who is engaged in a life sold out for Christ! It is the encouragement to keep running the race because when people who know nothing about your circumstances speak exactly what is happening and then tell you the outcome, you have the strength, the courage and the authority to keep moving until you see that outcome to fruition! Read Joshua 1:6-9 and see how God encouraged Joshua for the road he was about to walk. That is how prophecy works in today's world.
I was reminded yesterday of what God told me when we were struggling with leaving our former church. Let me stop here and say I am in no way putting down or former church, in fact, without the teaching and training we received at that Body, I would not be in the place to receive what happened yesterday! I was a huge skeptic of all supernatural things when we fist started attending our former church. God used the amazing teachers there to bring me to the place where I could receive what my current church has to offer. Our former church had a man who was part of the church affiliation that Body belonged to. He would come a few times a year. It was amazing to see him operate in the prophetic. He was the first person I ever saw do that, and it was inspiring, encouraging, intriguing....I could go on and on. He (even though he was only there a few times a year and had no idea who I was!) was one of the reasons I wrestled with God over moving churches. God had placed it on our hearts to leave, but I kept wanting to return to what was comfortable. During one of my wrestling matches with God over leaving the church, I reminded him of this man who brought great encouragement to me (even though I never received a direct prophecy from him...ever!). God's answer was very straightforward: "Do you want a man who prophesies or a congregation who prophesies?" I thought of that yesterday and I had to laugh! Since attending Lifehouse, I have had numerous Words of encouragement and prophecy spoken over me. And they always came at the moment when I wasn't sure which direction to turn or when I wasn't sure I could last one more day in my current circumstances. Then the Word would come and put the circumstances in the perspective they belonged, and the joy returns!
If you are not familiar with prophecy, do some research! Dig into the Word! Ask God to reveal His Truth about it...and then find a church that allows the gifts to be used! If you have questions, I may not have the answer, but I will put you in touch with some amazing people who do or I can give you a list or resources that have been helpful to me as I wrestled through my traditional thinking that caused me to doubt what was fairly clear in scripture. And if you are in the Midland area, come check out Lifehouse Fellowship! It's not a perfect church, but it is a church where the Spirit moves and is allowed to dictate the order of the service! I will have to tell you more about the service yesterday another time! It was amazing! Or come check it out for yourself this Wednesday at 7 - come at 6:30 if you want pizza before service!
The past five weeks have been rough. I went from working 20-30 hours a week to working 60 hours a week. For the first time in my mom career, I am working full time plus. I started a new exercise program that has me at my workout at 5:30 which means getting up at 4. I confess, that 4 wake up only happened a couple of times, which meant my quiet times didn't happen. You don't maintain a relationship without feeding it! The longer I went without my extended quiet times, the more despair crept in! I could feel it, I went through my weapons of warfare, but couldn't shake it...until Sunday.
Kris says this:
"Prophecy is like a nuclear weapon in the hands of a believer. It is important that we embrace the kind of prophetic culture that calls out our destiny and reminds us of God's work in our lives. If we despise, reject or do not believe in prophecy, we play into the enemy's hands by laying down a vitally important weapon of our warfare."
Amen! My breakthrough came through a prophetic word delivered by our Pastor this weekend! I have never sat under a pastor like Jeremy, my current pastor. He is "pastor" in every sense of the word. He is not perfect as no one is perfect, but he is an anointed pastor and understands like no one I have ever met what it means to shepherd his flock! Several times since we started going to LifeHouse, Jeremy has come to us and said, when I was praying for you, God said..... This weekend was one of those times. He had been at a conference this week and had spent time praying for his flock. There were a couple of families whom God spoke to him about directly, and we were one of them. He called us up during church yesterday and spoke the Word over us and prayed for us.
If you have never seen someone operate in the prophetic, you may not fully understand what I am talking about here. Let me challenge you to find a church where the gifts are practiced and watch when the prophetic ministry occurs. Ask God to reveal the prophetic ministry to you. Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4 all talk about prophecy as a spiritual gift. Remember, I was not a believer in the spiritual gifts even five years ago. However, God placed me in battles that required all He had for me to fight with or I would have lost! Prophecy is one of those weapons! And this weekend it sliced through the doubt, the guilt, the frustration, the anger with God when no other weapon in my arsenal had seemed to make a dent.
The Word Jeremy spoke was exactly what John and I are facing. It was basically that we are carrying a "wide load" and that it is taking longer than we thought because we are having to take back roads, but if we keep moving forward and pressing on, there will be a great "payday" when we get there. That doesn't necessarily mean financial, but just that we must run the race as one who wants the price as Paul said it.
I wish I could describe what happened inside of me as Jeremy spoke. But I can't really put it to words other than to say it encouraged me! It showed me that God had heard my cries and had given someone with flesh and blood a way to encourage me in my state of confusion and frustration! It silenced the voices that even then I knew were the enemy taunting me.
Prophecy is such a vital tool in the life of anyone who is engaged in a life sold out for Christ! It is the encouragement to keep running the race because when people who know nothing about your circumstances speak exactly what is happening and then tell you the outcome, you have the strength, the courage and the authority to keep moving until you see that outcome to fruition! Read Joshua 1:6-9 and see how God encouraged Joshua for the road he was about to walk. That is how prophecy works in today's world.
I was reminded yesterday of what God told me when we were struggling with leaving our former church. Let me stop here and say I am in no way putting down or former church, in fact, without the teaching and training we received at that Body, I would not be in the place to receive what happened yesterday! I was a huge skeptic of all supernatural things when we fist started attending our former church. God used the amazing teachers there to bring me to the place where I could receive what my current church has to offer. Our former church had a man who was part of the church affiliation that Body belonged to. He would come a few times a year. It was amazing to see him operate in the prophetic. He was the first person I ever saw do that, and it was inspiring, encouraging, intriguing....I could go on and on. He (even though he was only there a few times a year and had no idea who I was!) was one of the reasons I wrestled with God over moving churches. God had placed it on our hearts to leave, but I kept wanting to return to what was comfortable. During one of my wrestling matches with God over leaving the church, I reminded him of this man who brought great encouragement to me (even though I never received a direct prophecy from him...ever!). God's answer was very straightforward: "Do you want a man who prophesies or a congregation who prophesies?" I thought of that yesterday and I had to laugh! Since attending Lifehouse, I have had numerous Words of encouragement and prophecy spoken over me. And they always came at the moment when I wasn't sure which direction to turn or when I wasn't sure I could last one more day in my current circumstances. Then the Word would come and put the circumstances in the perspective they belonged, and the joy returns!
If you are not familiar with prophecy, do some research! Dig into the Word! Ask God to reveal His Truth about it...and then find a church that allows the gifts to be used! If you have questions, I may not have the answer, but I will put you in touch with some amazing people who do or I can give you a list or resources that have been helpful to me as I wrestled through my traditional thinking that caused me to doubt what was fairly clear in scripture. And if you are in the Midland area, come check out Lifehouse Fellowship! It's not a perfect church, but it is a church where the Spirit moves and is allowed to dictate the order of the service! I will have to tell you more about the service yesterday another time! It was amazing! Or come check it out for yourself this Wednesday at 7 - come at 6:30 if you want pizza before service!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
God's Economy
Seems like I don't have time for reflecting on much of anything these days! But lately, God has really been speaking to me about His economy! I have always hated money. Seems like we never have enough and seems like it is a a barrier to so much that we long to do...even good stuff! But I have a friend who of mine talks often of God's economy. And this year, I have learned to live in God's economy and have found it is the highest drawing savings account that exists!
The end of the year is always a time of reflection as we bring one year to a close and look ahead to what the next year might bring. As I reflect over this year, the most obvious thing to turn to is the fact that we have added 4 children (and lost one as B-man went to live with a new foster family) in the course of this year. The only word for adding 4 children to your family in a year is UN-NATURAL! Ok, maybe another word would fit also - BLESSED!
But as many of you know, kids are not cheap! They have needs and expenses. Three of our kiddos came with some financial support. Fostering is not really that much of a financial burden as the state reimburses you through the daily stipend. So I can't say that we have felt a financial burden to a large degree even with adding three children. However, as we transfer from foster to adoption with two of them and look at paying for a baby delivery and adding that baby to the monthly bills, I have to confess I have had a few moments of intense anxiety!
That is what started the reflection!
Yes, we added three kids, and we also lost my salary! When we turned the orphanage over to LifeSong, I stopped taking any kind of salary from Addy's Hope because there were no funds to support the salary. I also wasn't working as much obviously since I wasn't having to pound the pavement looking for donations or trying to run an orphanage from half a world away.
God provided for us in a huge way during that transition by John receiving a huge promotion (he is now second in command at the service center) and my grandfather passed away leaving my parents his inheritance which they graciously shared a portion with my brother and I. We were able to use this lump sum to pay down our debt so that we had manageable monthly bills. I still look back at the timing of all that with awe! It all happened at exactly the right time. The exact month we stopped receiving my salary, John's kicked in! That has to be God!
But the miracles don't stop there! God's economy is like everything else God does, it doesn't make sense! You cannot look at it with earthly eyes and make any sense of it.
With the addition of our children, we found we needed a bigger car. John was (and still isn't) anywhere close to driving a 12 passenger van. Plus those suckers are EXPENSIVE!!!! At least the conversion ones that are safer than the church van style. We started praying about what to do as we were very torn with having to take two cars everywhere. That is not conducive for family life, or the gas budget! We drove by a Suburban parked in a lot for sale. I told John let's look at it! That in itself had to be the Holy Spirit because I HATE buying cars!!! We drove over to it and I couldn't believe when I looked in the windows...it had bench seats in the front and middle row, so it was a Suburban that seated nine!!!! We have been doing Dave Ramsey this year and really wanted to pay cash for our next car. We were no where even close to that, so should we buy it? Ramsey would say no. But John and I both felt God was saying it was the car He had for us. We did have to take out a loan to get it, but the car was in amazingly good condition for how old it is and was priced below value AND came with a transferable warranty so when anything breaks, we are not out any money to fix it! Doesn't get any better than that on a used car! We started praying about what to do with our Honda Odyssey. We had talked even months before that we would love to be able to give it to a family who needed a bigger car to foster. But now we have this car loan with a car payment that we haven't had in years! So we started looking at selling it to pay down the loan. God made it clear through the next weeks that we were to give it away, not sell it and made it clear who was to be the recipient. If you know John and I, you know that I am not saying this to toot our horn, and in fact, wasn't going to put it in this post at all, except it illustrates for us how God's economy DOES NOT operate like the world! The world says we should hang on to and sell for the top dollar whatever we need to provide security. God says, obey me and you will have security like nothing else will provide! We are seeing that played out before our very lives!
I do have a confession. I kind of thought since we gave the van away, maybe a check would arrive to pay off our suburban loan. That check didn't come! BUT, what has come are little (and even some substantial) financial blessings that have provided for needs and even wants at just the right time!
I think we are pretty modest in what we buy for our children and each other for Christmas. Yes, they have plenty! I'm not trying to say we "sacrifice" in any way, but we stay under $100 for each child. So when the oldest two asked for Ipod touches for Christmas, well, the answer was obviously NO! But even with that modest budget, and trying to save all year, we were having a hard time making ends meet for Christmas. Just this month, we had an amazing Christmas blessing from Buckner where all the kids received a new set of pajamas and several other more than generous gifts! The county in Odessa where Baby Girl's case is provided Christmas presents for her, so she is taken care of. My amazing friends gave Princess M a "teen shower" where they bought our bedding needed for the transition in the girls' room and showered Princess M with not only some necessities, but many extras just to show her love! We also had a friend offer to give us beds for the girls! The blessings just can't be measured as we have learned to walk in God's economy!
One of the first "big" blows us away blessings came the week we found out we were pregnant. John went outside to fin a Lowe's gift card on the front porch. It was from "The Body of Christ!" Blew us away! And allowed us to finish up some home repairs and projects that had been on hold due to financial restraints...and had been stressing John out!
But last week, topped them all! In the course of two days, we received two envelopes with substantial amounts of cash...both from single mothers (one newly married single mom)! These are not wealthy people by any means! They reminded me of the widow's might. Here we are, a married couple with a very nice income, and we are receiving cash gifts from these single moms! Blessed, yes, but more than that, HUMBLED! You see, one of the things we have had to learn in God's economy is how to receive! I never thought that was an issue. But was God has showered us with blessings, we have had to realize that we have to be willing to humbly receive the gifts he has for us...just like we had to learn to receive His most precious gift of salvation! They don't usually come how we expect them or even in the most "comfortable" way. But that is God's economy! He uses whomever is willing! This time it was two ladies who walked in obedience and sacrifice to God and taught this mother more than I am sure they will ever know! Because in my legalistic mind, God promises to provide our needs, not our wants! But God showed us this month, that even wants can be in His provision! As long as we walk in His economy and do well with the little things He entrusts to us, He will continue to provide!
Was thinking on those things this morning and couldn't sleep. You see, I don't think we have done so well with the "little" things and am amazed that God continues to bless us! But God reminded me that he desires obedience over sacrifice! So I got out of bed and spent my time with Him this morning paying bills! You see, even paying bills can be a worshipful experience when I remember where my money comes from and Who is my provider!
I can't say that I didn't have some moments of anxiety as we look at the coming months when we will have to make the payments for the baby's delivery and we look at losing the foster stipend for Baby Girl. But God quickly quieted my Spirit with the Holy Spirit's whisper, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough trouble of it's own. We will tackle tomorrow when tomorrow gets here. I am your Provider. Trust!"
And trust Him I do! He replaced my anxiety with anticipation! I can't wait to share more miracles of how God's economy works in our home and the homes of our friends who are on this journey with us! God has brought some of the most humble and generous people I have ever met into our lives at our new church home! I can't wait to see how God uses this portion of His body to impact the world as so many of my friends continue to reach out to the least of these...and I see God working miracle after miracle in each of our lives for us to "afford" it as we navigate the world's economy all the time relying on HIS economy!
The end of the year is always a time of reflection as we bring one year to a close and look ahead to what the next year might bring. As I reflect over this year, the most obvious thing to turn to is the fact that we have added 4 children (and lost one as B-man went to live with a new foster family) in the course of this year. The only word for adding 4 children to your family in a year is UN-NATURAL! Ok, maybe another word would fit also - BLESSED!
But as many of you know, kids are not cheap! They have needs and expenses. Three of our kiddos came with some financial support. Fostering is not really that much of a financial burden as the state reimburses you through the daily stipend. So I can't say that we have felt a financial burden to a large degree even with adding three children. However, as we transfer from foster to adoption with two of them and look at paying for a baby delivery and adding that baby to the monthly bills, I have to confess I have had a few moments of intense anxiety!
That is what started the reflection!
Yes, we added three kids, and we also lost my salary! When we turned the orphanage over to LifeSong, I stopped taking any kind of salary from Addy's Hope because there were no funds to support the salary. I also wasn't working as much obviously since I wasn't having to pound the pavement looking for donations or trying to run an orphanage from half a world away.
God provided for us in a huge way during that transition by John receiving a huge promotion (he is now second in command at the service center) and my grandfather passed away leaving my parents his inheritance which they graciously shared a portion with my brother and I. We were able to use this lump sum to pay down our debt so that we had manageable monthly bills. I still look back at the timing of all that with awe! It all happened at exactly the right time. The exact month we stopped receiving my salary, John's kicked in! That has to be God!
But the miracles don't stop there! God's economy is like everything else God does, it doesn't make sense! You cannot look at it with earthly eyes and make any sense of it.
With the addition of our children, we found we needed a bigger car. John was (and still isn't) anywhere close to driving a 12 passenger van. Plus those suckers are EXPENSIVE!!!! At least the conversion ones that are safer than the church van style. We started praying about what to do as we were very torn with having to take two cars everywhere. That is not conducive for family life, or the gas budget! We drove by a Suburban parked in a lot for sale. I told John let's look at it! That in itself had to be the Holy Spirit because I HATE buying cars!!! We drove over to it and I couldn't believe when I looked in the windows...it had bench seats in the front and middle row, so it was a Suburban that seated nine!!!! We have been doing Dave Ramsey this year and really wanted to pay cash for our next car. We were no where even close to that, so should we buy it? Ramsey would say no. But John and I both felt God was saying it was the car He had for us. We did have to take out a loan to get it, but the car was in amazingly good condition for how old it is and was priced below value AND came with a transferable warranty so when anything breaks, we are not out any money to fix it! Doesn't get any better than that on a used car! We started praying about what to do with our Honda Odyssey. We had talked even months before that we would love to be able to give it to a family who needed a bigger car to foster. But now we have this car loan with a car payment that we haven't had in years! So we started looking at selling it to pay down the loan. God made it clear through the next weeks that we were to give it away, not sell it and made it clear who was to be the recipient. If you know John and I, you know that I am not saying this to toot our horn, and in fact, wasn't going to put it in this post at all, except it illustrates for us how God's economy DOES NOT operate like the world! The world says we should hang on to and sell for the top dollar whatever we need to provide security. God says, obey me and you will have security like nothing else will provide! We are seeing that played out before our very lives!
I do have a confession. I kind of thought since we gave the van away, maybe a check would arrive to pay off our suburban loan. That check didn't come! BUT, what has come are little (and even some substantial) financial blessings that have provided for needs and even wants at just the right time!
I think we are pretty modest in what we buy for our children and each other for Christmas. Yes, they have plenty! I'm not trying to say we "sacrifice" in any way, but we stay under $100 for each child. So when the oldest two asked for Ipod touches for Christmas, well, the answer was obviously NO! But even with that modest budget, and trying to save all year, we were having a hard time making ends meet for Christmas. Just this month, we had an amazing Christmas blessing from Buckner where all the kids received a new set of pajamas and several other more than generous gifts! The county in Odessa where Baby Girl's case is provided Christmas presents for her, so she is taken care of. My amazing friends gave Princess M a "teen shower" where they bought our bedding needed for the transition in the girls' room and showered Princess M with not only some necessities, but many extras just to show her love! We also had a friend offer to give us beds for the girls! The blessings just can't be measured as we have learned to walk in God's economy!
One of the first "big" blows us away blessings came the week we found out we were pregnant. John went outside to fin a Lowe's gift card on the front porch. It was from "The Body of Christ!" Blew us away! And allowed us to finish up some home repairs and projects that had been on hold due to financial restraints...and had been stressing John out!
But last week, topped them all! In the course of two days, we received two envelopes with substantial amounts of cash...both from single mothers (one newly married single mom)! These are not wealthy people by any means! They reminded me of the widow's might. Here we are, a married couple with a very nice income, and we are receiving cash gifts from these single moms! Blessed, yes, but more than that, HUMBLED! You see, one of the things we have had to learn in God's economy is how to receive! I never thought that was an issue. But was God has showered us with blessings, we have had to realize that we have to be willing to humbly receive the gifts he has for us...just like we had to learn to receive His most precious gift of salvation! They don't usually come how we expect them or even in the most "comfortable" way. But that is God's economy! He uses whomever is willing! This time it was two ladies who walked in obedience and sacrifice to God and taught this mother more than I am sure they will ever know! Because in my legalistic mind, God promises to provide our needs, not our wants! But God showed us this month, that even wants can be in His provision! As long as we walk in His economy and do well with the little things He entrusts to us, He will continue to provide!
Was thinking on those things this morning and couldn't sleep. You see, I don't think we have done so well with the "little" things and am amazed that God continues to bless us! But God reminded me that he desires obedience over sacrifice! So I got out of bed and spent my time with Him this morning paying bills! You see, even paying bills can be a worshipful experience when I remember where my money comes from and Who is my provider!
I can't say that I didn't have some moments of anxiety as we look at the coming months when we will have to make the payments for the baby's delivery and we look at losing the foster stipend for Baby Girl. But God quickly quieted my Spirit with the Holy Spirit's whisper, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough trouble of it's own. We will tackle tomorrow when tomorrow gets here. I am your Provider. Trust!"
And trust Him I do! He replaced my anxiety with anticipation! I can't wait to share more miracles of how God's economy works in our home and the homes of our friends who are on this journey with us! God has brought some of the most humble and generous people I have ever met into our lives at our new church home! I can't wait to see how God uses this portion of His body to impact the world as so many of my friends continue to reach out to the least of these...and I see God working miracle after miracle in each of our lives for us to "afford" it as we navigate the world's economy all the time relying on HIS economy!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Not a moment late...
God was not a moment late...the one time that I would have preferred him to delay His response, He is right on time. Wouldn't ya know it?!
When we turned the orphanage over to Lifesong, I had no idea what the future of Addy's Hope or my work in adoption would look like. I knew my family had suffered greatly over the past three years and I needed to get my focus back on my family and make sure my priorities were in check with God's word.
God kept saying, take the summer off. So I did. I would try to think of what I needed to do for the future of Addy's Hope or adoption work, but God would shut down all thoughts with, "not until summer is over do I even want you asking me what you need to do." So I didn't. I spent the summer in my home with my children. I LOVED it! I am a stay at home mom through and through! I spent time doing things I hadn't done in a long time! I got some things in my home organized and running a bit more smoothly and was looking forward to doing more of that with three of five in school.
Well, God said take the summer, and he meant it! Not a moment more! On Monday, I received a call from a couple in our church who had just accepted the referral of a sibling group and needed a homestudy done right away. Then I got a call from another family that had been talking about adoption, but were ready to start the process...homestudy number two on the calendar. As the week has progressed, it has become even crazier! I have talked to two other families about adoption and praying through what they should do. At one point yesterday, I had two ladies in my dining room, one dropping off papers for a home study and the other sharing her struggle with God asking her to adopt again. At the same time both my cell phone and home phone were ringing. Although I didn't answer the phones at that moment, when I checked messages, it turned out those calls were about adoption also!
He was serious about taking the summer! And He has left no question as to what I need to do! God is doing something HUGE in our church as all but one of the situations I have mentioned are people from our church. I am so excited, I can hardly contain it! This is what I have dreamed of being part of since we adopted Noah nine years ago and I knew in my hear that God was going to use the Body of Christ to end the orphan epidemic all over the world and at the same time use the adoption of children to show the world His unconditional love!
I am struggling with balancing home and work...my biggest challenge since we started Addy's Hope. I have learned I am an all or nothing person. It is very hard for me to split my attention, time, energy, thoughts between two things. I am having to really rely on God to show me what to do each day and make sure I don't get priorities our of whack!
BUT - I am so blessed to be part of whatever it is God is doing! And I LOVE that no one can take credit for this movement because no one has gotten together and talked about it! It is just individual couples and people hearing God talk to them about adoption and then seeking out wisdom and information to walk in obedience! It is all God! How exciting is that?
I got an e-mail last night and two of the ladies are going to go with me to the Together for Adoption Conference! Can't wait! God is moving in a mighty way on behalf of His children and I am just blessed to be hanging on for the ride!
When we turned the orphanage over to Lifesong, I had no idea what the future of Addy's Hope or my work in adoption would look like. I knew my family had suffered greatly over the past three years and I needed to get my focus back on my family and make sure my priorities were in check with God's word.
God kept saying, take the summer off. So I did. I would try to think of what I needed to do for the future of Addy's Hope or adoption work, but God would shut down all thoughts with, "not until summer is over do I even want you asking me what you need to do." So I didn't. I spent the summer in my home with my children. I LOVED it! I am a stay at home mom through and through! I spent time doing things I hadn't done in a long time! I got some things in my home organized and running a bit more smoothly and was looking forward to doing more of that with three of five in school.
Well, God said take the summer, and he meant it! Not a moment more! On Monday, I received a call from a couple in our church who had just accepted the referral of a sibling group and needed a homestudy done right away. Then I got a call from another family that had been talking about adoption, but were ready to start the process...homestudy number two on the calendar. As the week has progressed, it has become even crazier! I have talked to two other families about adoption and praying through what they should do. At one point yesterday, I had two ladies in my dining room, one dropping off papers for a home study and the other sharing her struggle with God asking her to adopt again. At the same time both my cell phone and home phone were ringing. Although I didn't answer the phones at that moment, when I checked messages, it turned out those calls were about adoption also!
He was serious about taking the summer! And He has left no question as to what I need to do! God is doing something HUGE in our church as all but one of the situations I have mentioned are people from our church. I am so excited, I can hardly contain it! This is what I have dreamed of being part of since we adopted Noah nine years ago and I knew in my hear that God was going to use the Body of Christ to end the orphan epidemic all over the world and at the same time use the adoption of children to show the world His unconditional love!
I am struggling with balancing home and work...my biggest challenge since we started Addy's Hope. I have learned I am an all or nothing person. It is very hard for me to split my attention, time, energy, thoughts between two things. I am having to really rely on God to show me what to do each day and make sure I don't get priorities our of whack!
BUT - I am so blessed to be part of whatever it is God is doing! And I LOVE that no one can take credit for this movement because no one has gotten together and talked about it! It is just individual couples and people hearing God talk to them about adoption and then seeking out wisdom and information to walk in obedience! It is all God! How exciting is that?
I got an e-mail last night and two of the ladies are going to go with me to the Together for Adoption Conference! Can't wait! God is moving in a mighty way on behalf of His children and I am just blessed to be hanging on for the ride!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Journey: For Jo
I want to respond to a comment I got on my last post about Little Guy...Jo, I did publish your comment, even though you could not be further from the truth...and I will explain why!
Hollyann,
I usually enjoy your posts and this is my transparent response - (we can be transparent too right?LOL).
No seriously, taking the last two posts together, it seems to me you rejected this little boy because: (a) your mom wouldn't like his braids; and (c) because his skin color wasn't your preference. In fact, after these two factors became apparent, your "heart was shut immediately." That's about as shallow as one can be. Wow.
I know you will either not post this or chalk it up to just another person attacking you. Or someone who doesn't really know you (even though the words are for the world to read). I'm sorry if that is usually the case. But this time, your last two posts are offensive. But, hey, its "transparent", so that makes everything just fine and unchallengable!
ugh.
Jo
First let me address why you concluded that I 'rejected' this little boy. If you will scan down my posts, you will see pictures of all five of my children. I'm not sure where you can say that I would turn a child away because of skin color. I have children of all shades. And have desired that since I was a child. But since you don't really know me, you wouldn't know that. And for the braids, yes, that would have been a challenge with my parents. And in fact, that concern is one of the least shallow things I could think. You see, once again because you don't know me, what you don't know is that my parents have been against all of our adoptions. They don't totally understand why we do what we do. They have come to respect it over the years, but even with the decision to take on another child, they had real concerns and were pretty well against it. Why I say it is not shallow to think of that is because when we have family pictures later this year, that little boy will be in them. That means that whatever child I bring into my home will be in the family portrait that my parents hang on their wall. When we adopted Noah, I didn't consider that. I very arrogantly told my parents about our decision to adopt Noah and pretty well just told them to accept it because we were adults and they couldn't stop us from doing it. That was shallow. But in the adoption journeys since then, I have come to realize that what we do does affect them. Will I ever choose pleasing my parents over walking in obedience to God, I pray I won't! But ultimately, considering that is not shallow and the feelings of fear about having to deal with their feelings about the braids, well those are real. I can deny them and pretend to be perfect, but that doesn't help me or the number of people reading my blog who have thanked me for my transparency in my decisions and dealing with inter-racial adoption. Those people read the heart in all my posts and understand that I don't make any decisions based on hair style or skin color, but on hours of prayer and being on my face before the Lord begging for His answers and submitting my will to His. Do I always succeed in making the right decisions, definitely not. But I can guarantee you that every decision from adoption to where to send my kids to school to how to spend our money is made at the foot of the cross with a heart that only desires to please God and glorify Him.
As far as my posts being offensive, I'm sorry that you chose to take them that way. My heart was shut immediately. But as I stayed and played with the Little Guy and as I prayed for wisdom over the situation, my heart opened...why else would I have been trying to find a way to accept the referral of him and his sister? Did you miss that part? His skin color and braids were not stopping me from pursuing it all the way to the point that God said, stop.
And for the skin color part. As I explained, that has to do with sensitivity to a child I have already committed to...my son. This is based on a conviction that I have had for over a year now...and have stood on even when my own husband didn't necessarily agree with me. Now that Toben has voiced these concerns, John totally agrees with me. Our decision to not take Little Guy was based on MANY things. I didn't go into all of them in my post about peace. But let me explain a little more here since you have brought up the skin color.
We are at 5 kids. In Texas, you can only have 6 kids total in your care before you have to be moved to a group home. When you become a group home, you are supposed to only take in kids who are 5 or older. That is not what John and I feel comfortable with at this time in our lives. I would LOVE to adopt older children, and in fact, we pursued a sibling group of 6 who were 7-16. You can read about that in older posts. But God shut that door and was gracious to show us the reason for that placement consideration. Ever since then, we have agreed that we needed to take in younger children. This has a lot to do with our calling in life...what I know I was put on the earth to do. I have a very strong call on my life to help children find families. I am blessed to know many large families...and by large I mean 9-20 children. I don't see us as a "large" family - a fact that just blows John's mind! John and I have talked many times about our admiration of these families. One thing that you notice is that their family is their calling. They do little else. They can't. When you have that many children, you need to limit outside activity to make sure you are serving your children and spouse. I stand firm on my belief that my family is my first and most important calling. I have gotten that out of balance at times with my work in Addy's Hope. So I am very protective of that now. As we look at adding children to our family, we also have to look at our role in Addy's Hope. John and I stood in our kitchen before calling Buckner and talked about what adding two toddlers to our family would mean. It would greatly hinder my ability to go to churches and talk about the need we saw at the group home. It would greatly hinder my ability to have couples over to the house to talk about what they feel God is asking them to do by adopting or fostering but are scared to death. I know my limits, and I know my calling. I greatly admire the women who have more children than me and handle it like pros..even home schooling! I don't judge them, I many times envy them. But I am confident in the calling God has on my life and that means I can't look at them and try to make my life look like theirs any more than they need to make their life look like mine. It means we all seek God for ourselves and walk in what He calls us each to...that is what makes The Body the I love so dearly function as a Body! We are nearing the limit of children we can handle at this stage of life with the calling God has on me for adoption as a whole. That means adding a child who is not full African American could possibly mean Toben grows up without a child who looks like him. I don't believe that is what is best for him, our family or what God has called us to. If you read back over my posts from The Journey, you will see where I post over and over that I am very confident that God puts desires in our hearts for a reason. They guide us to the child He has for us. Does he ask us to be open to things that are not our desires at times? Yes, and I believe He did that with Little Guy and I answered with a resounding, Yes, Lord! I am your bond servant! May it be to me as you desire! But in the end, He didn't say bring him home. He used Little Guy in my life, but I think more importantly in John's life, to solidify our calling to motivate and act as a catalyst to empower churches to empower their people to respond to the epidemic of children in need of families in our nation and around the world!
Jo, I don't know if you are a foster parent or adoptive parent or who you are because your profile is not public. I always find it ironic that the people who leave the most negative comments are the ones who do not have public profiles. I'm glad you have "enjoyed" most of my posts. I would love for you to continue reading my blog. But I would encourage you to not leave negative comments on my blog or anyone elses if you are not going to be bold enough to at least have your blog public and open yourself up to the same kind of criticism from strangers that you are giving to me and anyone else that you leave such comments on their blog.
I could have posted the nice, thought about, wrapped up thoughts on my blog. I could have left out the messy ones. The ones that aren't generated from God...the ones that I can look back later and know the enemy was using to derail me...but I chose not to even with the criticism of people like you. I do that because I believe it is VERY important for those of us who have gone before to be frank about our feelings and fears in adoptions...especially inter-racial adoptions. That way those who are being called to do this and are just beginning are not discouraged and dissuaded by their own fears and thoughts that they are too scared to speak because of people like you who will judge them and put them down.
Since you don't have a public profile and I don't know if you are a foster or adoptive family, I don't know if you have ever had to wrestle with any of these kinds of thoughts. If you are an adoptive or foster family and you have never had any of those "what if" or "is this the match for me" thoughts and took every child that came your way without question, then you are either a saint or not totally honest with anyone...including yourself. I have walked many adoptive parents through the process of deciding whether a placement is right for them. The ones I respect the most are the ones that wrestle with that decision. It shows that they are very serious about the role they have in taking in a child. It shows that they believe that adoption is permanent! They are not a family who will give it a try and then if it doesn't work out, place the child back up for adoption like some do. I truly admire families who wrestled this out....even if in the end it meant they turned down a placement.
You said you are only being transparent. I would encourage you to be more transparent...open your profile so I and anyone else who wants to can read your blog! That is true transparency!
Lastly let me say, thank you for your comment. It did make me go back and evaluate what I said and how we made our decision. I don't know you, but God used you to fulfill Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another." And for that I am grateful!
Hollyann,
I usually enjoy your posts and this is my transparent response - (we can be transparent too right?LOL).
No seriously, taking the last two posts together, it seems to me you rejected this little boy because: (a) your mom wouldn't like his braids; and (c) because his skin color wasn't your preference. In fact, after these two factors became apparent, your "heart was shut immediately." That's about as shallow as one can be. Wow.
I know you will either not post this or chalk it up to just another person attacking you. Or someone who doesn't really know you (even though the words are for the world to read). I'm sorry if that is usually the case. But this time, your last two posts are offensive. But, hey, its "transparent", so that makes everything just fine and unchallengable!
ugh.
Jo
First let me address why you concluded that I 'rejected' this little boy. If you will scan down my posts, you will see pictures of all five of my children. I'm not sure where you can say that I would turn a child away because of skin color. I have children of all shades. And have desired that since I was a child. But since you don't really know me, you wouldn't know that. And for the braids, yes, that would have been a challenge with my parents. And in fact, that concern is one of the least shallow things I could think. You see, once again because you don't know me, what you don't know is that my parents have been against all of our adoptions. They don't totally understand why we do what we do. They have come to respect it over the years, but even with the decision to take on another child, they had real concerns and were pretty well against it. Why I say it is not shallow to think of that is because when we have family pictures later this year, that little boy will be in them. That means that whatever child I bring into my home will be in the family portrait that my parents hang on their wall. When we adopted Noah, I didn't consider that. I very arrogantly told my parents about our decision to adopt Noah and pretty well just told them to accept it because we were adults and they couldn't stop us from doing it. That was shallow. But in the adoption journeys since then, I have come to realize that what we do does affect them. Will I ever choose pleasing my parents over walking in obedience to God, I pray I won't! But ultimately, considering that is not shallow and the feelings of fear about having to deal with their feelings about the braids, well those are real. I can deny them and pretend to be perfect, but that doesn't help me or the number of people reading my blog who have thanked me for my transparency in my decisions and dealing with inter-racial adoption. Those people read the heart in all my posts and understand that I don't make any decisions based on hair style or skin color, but on hours of prayer and being on my face before the Lord begging for His answers and submitting my will to His. Do I always succeed in making the right decisions, definitely not. But I can guarantee you that every decision from adoption to where to send my kids to school to how to spend our money is made at the foot of the cross with a heart that only desires to please God and glorify Him.
As far as my posts being offensive, I'm sorry that you chose to take them that way. My heart was shut immediately. But as I stayed and played with the Little Guy and as I prayed for wisdom over the situation, my heart opened...why else would I have been trying to find a way to accept the referral of him and his sister? Did you miss that part? His skin color and braids were not stopping me from pursuing it all the way to the point that God said, stop.
And for the skin color part. As I explained, that has to do with sensitivity to a child I have already committed to...my son. This is based on a conviction that I have had for over a year now...and have stood on even when my own husband didn't necessarily agree with me. Now that Toben has voiced these concerns, John totally agrees with me. Our decision to not take Little Guy was based on MANY things. I didn't go into all of them in my post about peace. But let me explain a little more here since you have brought up the skin color.
We are at 5 kids. In Texas, you can only have 6 kids total in your care before you have to be moved to a group home. When you become a group home, you are supposed to only take in kids who are 5 or older. That is not what John and I feel comfortable with at this time in our lives. I would LOVE to adopt older children, and in fact, we pursued a sibling group of 6 who were 7-16. You can read about that in older posts. But God shut that door and was gracious to show us the reason for that placement consideration. Ever since then, we have agreed that we needed to take in younger children. This has a lot to do with our calling in life...what I know I was put on the earth to do. I have a very strong call on my life to help children find families. I am blessed to know many large families...and by large I mean 9-20 children. I don't see us as a "large" family - a fact that just blows John's mind! John and I have talked many times about our admiration of these families. One thing that you notice is that their family is their calling. They do little else. They can't. When you have that many children, you need to limit outside activity to make sure you are serving your children and spouse. I stand firm on my belief that my family is my first and most important calling. I have gotten that out of balance at times with my work in Addy's Hope. So I am very protective of that now. As we look at adding children to our family, we also have to look at our role in Addy's Hope. John and I stood in our kitchen before calling Buckner and talked about what adding two toddlers to our family would mean. It would greatly hinder my ability to go to churches and talk about the need we saw at the group home. It would greatly hinder my ability to have couples over to the house to talk about what they feel God is asking them to do by adopting or fostering but are scared to death. I know my limits, and I know my calling. I greatly admire the women who have more children than me and handle it like pros..even home schooling! I don't judge them, I many times envy them. But I am confident in the calling God has on my life and that means I can't look at them and try to make my life look like theirs any more than they need to make their life look like mine. It means we all seek God for ourselves and walk in what He calls us each to...that is what makes The Body the I love so dearly function as a Body! We are nearing the limit of children we can handle at this stage of life with the calling God has on me for adoption as a whole. That means adding a child who is not full African American could possibly mean Toben grows up without a child who looks like him. I don't believe that is what is best for him, our family or what God has called us to. If you read back over my posts from The Journey, you will see where I post over and over that I am very confident that God puts desires in our hearts for a reason. They guide us to the child He has for us. Does he ask us to be open to things that are not our desires at times? Yes, and I believe He did that with Little Guy and I answered with a resounding, Yes, Lord! I am your bond servant! May it be to me as you desire! But in the end, He didn't say bring him home. He used Little Guy in my life, but I think more importantly in John's life, to solidify our calling to motivate and act as a catalyst to empower churches to empower their people to respond to the epidemic of children in need of families in our nation and around the world!
Jo, I don't know if you are a foster parent or adoptive parent or who you are because your profile is not public. I always find it ironic that the people who leave the most negative comments are the ones who do not have public profiles. I'm glad you have "enjoyed" most of my posts. I would love for you to continue reading my blog. But I would encourage you to not leave negative comments on my blog or anyone elses if you are not going to be bold enough to at least have your blog public and open yourself up to the same kind of criticism from strangers that you are giving to me and anyone else that you leave such comments on their blog.
I could have posted the nice, thought about, wrapped up thoughts on my blog. I could have left out the messy ones. The ones that aren't generated from God...the ones that I can look back later and know the enemy was using to derail me...but I chose not to even with the criticism of people like you. I do that because I believe it is VERY important for those of us who have gone before to be frank about our feelings and fears in adoptions...especially inter-racial adoptions. That way those who are being called to do this and are just beginning are not discouraged and dissuaded by their own fears and thoughts that they are too scared to speak because of people like you who will judge them and put them down.
Since you don't have a public profile and I don't know if you are a foster or adoptive family, I don't know if you have ever had to wrestle with any of these kinds of thoughts. If you are an adoptive or foster family and you have never had any of those "what if" or "is this the match for me" thoughts and took every child that came your way without question, then you are either a saint or not totally honest with anyone...including yourself. I have walked many adoptive parents through the process of deciding whether a placement is right for them. The ones I respect the most are the ones that wrestle with that decision. It shows that they are very serious about the role they have in taking in a child. It shows that they believe that adoption is permanent! They are not a family who will give it a try and then if it doesn't work out, place the child back up for adoption like some do. I truly admire families who wrestled this out....even if in the end it meant they turned down a placement.
You said you are only being transparent. I would encourage you to be more transparent...open your profile so I and anyone else who wants to can read your blog! That is true transparency!
Lastly let me say, thank you for your comment. It did make me go back and evaluate what I said and how we made our decision. I don't know you, but God used you to fulfill Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another." And for that I am grateful!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Journey: How do you do "it"?
For those of you counting, the referral we turned down would make number 6. Are we crazy? Probably. Why would we do it? Because we are called. And the question I always get, "How do you do it?"
I have thought a lot about that lately. Especially with the consideration of adding one more. When people ask me how I do it, I truly don't know how to answer that. I guess the only answer I can come up with is, "How do you not do it?" God gave me five children. I know without a doubt each child was hand picked by God to be in my home. Each child has his or her own unique finger prints of God all over his or her story. I don't doubt whether any of my children were meant to be here. Knowing that, what else do I do but "it"?
With each child after Ava, I've wondered if we were "done". I was content...especially after Toben. I had my four: two boys and two girls. Perfect! Well, that was when I was judging by the world's standards! God has a plan for my family. A plan that He reveals to me one step at a time. People who have known us for a while usually look at John and say, "when is she going to stop?" The answer to that, when God stops!
With each child, I think I can't do anymore! I'm overwhelmed at first with another little person needing my attention. But once we get in a groove, and God starts whispering to me about the next one, I see that one more would work!
I am not super woman! I am not some special mother who was given a great measure of anything. I am just a simple old housewife who loves the Lord and has a heart for orphans. In fact, frankly, I am probably one of the least likely to have a large family - I have a very difficult time staying organized and schedules pretty well elude me. The larger the family gets, the more crucial these things are!
As I think about how I do "it", there is truly only one answer! I came across it again this morning expressed in Acts 1:8, "you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you." If you look up power in Strong's, it says, miraculous power, might or strength. It is derived from the word meaning, "to be able - to have power." That's it! That's how I do it! It is through miraculous power, might and strength. It is truly not by my might but by His that I am able to parent five children and think of adding another one. When God first started preparing me for the idea of another one, I was pretty overwhelmed, and frankly, scared! But as our loving God does, in my times with Him as I have prayed over this, He has shown me in His Word just how "We" will do it! He's not asking me to do it on my own. He will empower and equip me. If I try to do it on my own like I do so many times in life, I will fail. But if I press into Him and let Him equip me, then one more is totally doable! A week or so ago, I was feeling overwhelmed with just five and John! But God took me to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."...for when I am weak, then I am strong."
I have learned that when I can do life by myself, I do! I don't press into God. I coast along taking care of business. But when life is more than I can handle, that is when I spend life on my knees, pressing into God, and only then can God truly be seen in my life!
Do I want to add one more? Some days yes, some days, no! Does it scare me? YES! Most days I feel like I fail miserably in just about every area of being a mother and wife. My house isn't clean enough, I didn't spent enough time with my kids, they watched too much tv, I didn't fix a balanced enough meal, the laundry is piling up, the refrigerator has unrecognizable items in it....the list goes on and on.
But here is the bottom line. God commands us to care for the orphans. Many believe orphan is defined by a child whose parents have died. That is such a narrow definition, and one that I think is totally inaccurate! The children entering our child welfare systems in the US and around the world are orphans! Maybe they are temporary orphans, but orphans all the same. They are in need of a family - a home - a mommy and daddy to love them unconditionally. Some of them make this harder than others. But all children have a right to a home, family and mommy! So whether I have it all together or not, children are in need. As our social worker left yesterday and I asked about children coming in, she actually used the word "epidemic proportions"! We have a crisis...an epidemic! The answer: The Body of Christ! We must step up and care for these children!
Will it make you popular? Nope! Will you be told you are crazy, stupid or a myriad of other things? Yep! But what is God saying? Is he saying that 2.5 children is not the normal family in His kingdom? Is he asking you to be His hands and feet so that He can be a Father to the Fatherless?
Yes, we passed up a referral. No we can't save them all. But we can take in the ones God has for us. When I was changing Madison's diaper last week, I had weird thing happen. I saw a picture in my mind of Baby Girl playing with a little baby that had an afro. It was clear the child was African American and a little boy. I immediately was overwhelmed with the sense that it was a baby that we will have. I don't know it if is a baby we will get to keep or just one that we will foster and return to his family. I still had my heart set on a little girl so I could do those braids! :0) That has been my dream since we lost Eden. So I am sure God gave me this little picture to open my heart to the possibility of a little boy. This has left John and I with a choice: believe those around us who say we have done more than our share and 5 is enough, or believe God who sent His only son to die for us and keep following Him as He asks us to stretch ourselves one more time!
We will see what happens! We are praying for wisdom to know when the child that God has for us crosses our path. In the mean time, I will keep asking you to consider it...will you be a foster parent? The epidemic will not go away if we ignore it...in fact it will just get exponentially worse as these children being raised in the system have children who statistics say will end up in the system also. Let's show the World the love of Christ and power of the Holy Spirit by caring for the least of these!
**If you enjoyed this post, check out my friends' posts about similar things at Building the Blocks and Bonkland.**
I have thought a lot about that lately. Especially with the consideration of adding one more. When people ask me how I do it, I truly don't know how to answer that. I guess the only answer I can come up with is, "How do you not do it?" God gave me five children. I know without a doubt each child was hand picked by God to be in my home. Each child has his or her own unique finger prints of God all over his or her story. I don't doubt whether any of my children were meant to be here. Knowing that, what else do I do but "it"?
With each child after Ava, I've wondered if we were "done". I was content...especially after Toben. I had my four: two boys and two girls. Perfect! Well, that was when I was judging by the world's standards! God has a plan for my family. A plan that He reveals to me one step at a time. People who have known us for a while usually look at John and say, "when is she going to stop?" The answer to that, when God stops!
With each child, I think I can't do anymore! I'm overwhelmed at first with another little person needing my attention. But once we get in a groove, and God starts whispering to me about the next one, I see that one more would work!
I am not super woman! I am not some special mother who was given a great measure of anything. I am just a simple old housewife who loves the Lord and has a heart for orphans. In fact, frankly, I am probably one of the least likely to have a large family - I have a very difficult time staying organized and schedules pretty well elude me. The larger the family gets, the more crucial these things are!
As I think about how I do "it", there is truly only one answer! I came across it again this morning expressed in Acts 1:8, "you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you." If you look up power in Strong's, it says, miraculous power, might or strength. It is derived from the word meaning, "to be able - to have power." That's it! That's how I do it! It is through miraculous power, might and strength. It is truly not by my might but by His that I am able to parent five children and think of adding another one. When God first started preparing me for the idea of another one, I was pretty overwhelmed, and frankly, scared! But as our loving God does, in my times with Him as I have prayed over this, He has shown me in His Word just how "We" will do it! He's not asking me to do it on my own. He will empower and equip me. If I try to do it on my own like I do so many times in life, I will fail. But if I press into Him and let Him equip me, then one more is totally doable! A week or so ago, I was feeling overwhelmed with just five and John! But God took me to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."...for when I am weak, then I am strong."
I have learned that when I can do life by myself, I do! I don't press into God. I coast along taking care of business. But when life is more than I can handle, that is when I spend life on my knees, pressing into God, and only then can God truly be seen in my life!
Do I want to add one more? Some days yes, some days, no! Does it scare me? YES! Most days I feel like I fail miserably in just about every area of being a mother and wife. My house isn't clean enough, I didn't spent enough time with my kids, they watched too much tv, I didn't fix a balanced enough meal, the laundry is piling up, the refrigerator has unrecognizable items in it....the list goes on and on.
But here is the bottom line. God commands us to care for the orphans. Many believe orphan is defined by a child whose parents have died. That is such a narrow definition, and one that I think is totally inaccurate! The children entering our child welfare systems in the US and around the world are orphans! Maybe they are temporary orphans, but orphans all the same. They are in need of a family - a home - a mommy and daddy to love them unconditionally. Some of them make this harder than others. But all children have a right to a home, family and mommy! So whether I have it all together or not, children are in need. As our social worker left yesterday and I asked about children coming in, she actually used the word "epidemic proportions"! We have a crisis...an epidemic! The answer: The Body of Christ! We must step up and care for these children!
Will it make you popular? Nope! Will you be told you are crazy, stupid or a myriad of other things? Yep! But what is God saying? Is he saying that 2.5 children is not the normal family in His kingdom? Is he asking you to be His hands and feet so that He can be a Father to the Fatherless?
Yes, we passed up a referral. No we can't save them all. But we can take in the ones God has for us. When I was changing Madison's diaper last week, I had weird thing happen. I saw a picture in my mind of Baby Girl playing with a little baby that had an afro. It was clear the child was African American and a little boy. I immediately was overwhelmed with the sense that it was a baby that we will have. I don't know it if is a baby we will get to keep or just one that we will foster and return to his family. I still had my heart set on a little girl so I could do those braids! :0) That has been my dream since we lost Eden. So I am sure God gave me this little picture to open my heart to the possibility of a little boy. This has left John and I with a choice: believe those around us who say we have done more than our share and 5 is enough, or believe God who sent His only son to die for us and keep following Him as He asks us to stretch ourselves one more time!
We will see what happens! We are praying for wisdom to know when the child that God has for us crosses our path. In the mean time, I will keep asking you to consider it...will you be a foster parent? The epidemic will not go away if we ignore it...in fact it will just get exponentially worse as these children being raised in the system have children who statistics say will end up in the system also. Let's show the World the love of Christ and power of the Holy Spirit by caring for the least of these!
**If you enjoyed this post, check out my friends' posts about similar things at Building the Blocks and Bonkland.**
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Great Shirt & Great Cause
Karen went to Liberia with me in February. She and her husband (and daughters) are adopting a little boy and little girl from Addy's Hope. We formed a special bond during our trip in February, and God firmed up a calling Karen felt ever since her trip to Uganda the year before.
Now Karen, Duane and their three girls are answering God's call to the mission field. They are raising money to go to Liberia over Spring Break with the intention of firming up details and confirming the call they feel to long term missions in Liberia.
It is my great honor to walk with them through this! They are selling the these beautiful t-shirts as part of their fundraiser. Their goal is $20,000 which will get them over there, lodge them, provide food and also purchase a car for Addy's Hope. Will you help them?
To order a t-shirt go or to read more about this amazing family go to her blog.
Thanks in advance! And for those who know my horrible ability to get things in the mail that I use for fundraisers on my trip....Karen is MUCH more organized than I! :)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Other Side
This is a picture of the other side...the stereotypical other side of the tracks. I don't live in a big city, so I don't think you would call this inner-city, but it shares many of the same characteristics of the inner-city you find in Dallas, Austin, LA, etc. I've always known it was there, but lately, it seems to be calling my name.Callie is in the gifted program which in our school system means that she goes to a different campus for two days a week. This campus is on the other side of the tracks. She rides a bus from our home school, so I don't find myself over there very often. However, the last couple of times I have had to go, I find myself a little lost and wanting to stay that way! I don't want to leave the neighborhoods filled with tattered houses and grass less yards. I want to know the story behind each door and each window with a sheet hanging for a covering. There was a house on the corner that was for sale. I even for a second wondered if John and I could buy that lot and build a house to move into that area. Wouldn't that give my critics something to talk about!
I want to know these people! I want to know what they need. I want to know if they know Jesus, and if they don't, I want to provide what they need for them to hear the gospel, believe it is real and accept it! As I drive around, I can't help but think, "I don't have to go to Africa or Haiti to find poverty and desperate need!" I want to see these people through the eyes of Jesus!
On the heels of my drive today when I took this picture, God would arrange coffee with my friend Shanna who went to Liberia with me in August. Through our conversation we realized we have the common dream of opening a maternity home. But wait, I talked to my other friend Susie a few weeks ago about opening a safe house for children rescued from the human trafficking industry. And then there is the dream to provide hope and resources for mothers who want to keep their babies. And then there is the dream to find homes for all the children in foster care in Texas...and then the United States...and then the world! And then there is the homeless population that is growing right here in good 'ol West Texas that needs just a boost in the arm to turn their lives around. And then there is a dream to open the coffee shop that will raise money for orphans and ministries all over Africa. And then there is the thought of providing resources to families who are about to lose their children to the system simply because of poverty. God and any one else who has worked with "the system" knows that "the system" doesn't need any more children! Especially when all the family needs to keep the children is a bed or a few hot meals a week. Oh yeah, then there is The Journey that I still have the to do list for!
Whew! My head is spinning, but more than that, my Spirit is stirring!
I see it! I am the visionary! I see the end, but how do I get there? Any doers out there want to jump on board and get this visionary to the end?! I believe I am on to something here! I can think of three or four ministries right here in my home town who are already working towards these goals. What would happen if we, the BODY OF CHRIST, worked TOGETHER?! What could God do then?
God has already given me the sight of the maternity home. My friend Emily and I risked our lives to walk through it one evening. Had our husbands known the building we were walking through, they probably never would have agreed to watch the kids while we did such a crazy thing! Even after we walked and laughed through the whole needs-to-be-condemned apartment complex, I had the nerve to call a contractor to come look at it and see what he thought! He tried to be nice! He wasn't trying to squash my dream....but he really didn't even know what to say to me wanting to use that old place. What he didn' t know is that I had already marched my little 'ol self (well, that might not be an accurate description) around that building and claimed it as "Hope Home: A Home to give Expectant Mother's Hope". Some day, on that very spot, a house will stand that will house expectant mothers! And the Birthing Center run by my friend Shanna is just right down the road to the North...and our office as well as the Life Center is just right down the road to the West. And the tracks...well, they are just about three blocks south!
Hang on folks! This is going to be a gooooooood ride!
God, You have placed these dreams and visions on my heart! You know my desire is to love the least of these and to hear the cries of the poor, destitute and weary who are in need of You, but are not very receptive to Your message yet because they don't even have a place to sleep or food to stop the ache in their stomachs. I want to be your vessel to provide whatever your people need in order to bring them to a place where they can here of You and accept You! You have taken me to John 15 for this year. As I read these verses with these visions you have given me swirling around in my mind and spirit, I am asking you to provide the money, resources, people, talent and the buildings we need in order to bring these visions and dreams to reality! God we want to bear fruit so that you may be glorified! Bring forth your fruit!
In Jesus Name I lay this request at your feet,
~Amen and Amen!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Friends....
We are reading through Proverbs as a church. Part of the reading today was Proverbs 27:9, "Oil and perfume make the heart glad, so a mans' counsel is sweet to his friend." I am a margin writer! I have writing all in my Bible! In fact I bought a wide margin Bible to make sure I would have room for all my thoughts! It is just how I process....but sometimes those notes bring pain. Like this morning. Beside this verse about sweet counsel of a friend, I have written, "Makes me think of _____." That blank is filled with the name of a friend who was my mentor and spiritual mentor for four years. Her friendship and advice in my life was vital to the growth I received during that time. She kept my feet to the fire and wouldn't let me stray from the narrow path. I have many times credited her with saving my marriage because no excuse was good enough to quit working on my marriage! And I will forever be grateful for the role she played in that part of my life.
But one day this friend betrayed my confidence in a BIG way. I was shocked. There are people you think will never hurt you in that way. She was one of those people. Her reason for betraying it was to "protect" a pastor...nothing like being thrown under the bus to protect the one who is supposed to be "shepherding" ie: protecting you!
But the betrayal of trust isn't even the deepest wound. As a person who used to have NO mercy or grace for things like this, I extended incredible grace and mercy to this friend. I couldn't trust her anymore with my deepest darkest secrets as I had in the past, but I told her that one mistake didn't erase the years of knowing that she is a Godly woman with incredible wisdom! I wanted to maintain a friendship with her....it would look different, but she had meant so much to me for so long, I was not willing to walk away from it all together.
She obviously felt differently as I have only received a couple of e-mails from her since that time and the last one I sent to her went unanswered.
As we have moved to a new church and are healing from the wounds of the past, I am finding it harder than I thought. I have always been one to seek out relationships and build friendships. But after going through what we did at our old church coupled with coming out of a very dark time in my life, I am finding it hard to take the steps necessary for friendships. I dread being somewhere that I know will require talking to people..sharing my story. As I told one friend, after 35 years, my story is really long! I don't want to have to explain to any more people why I am where I am! I don't want to have to fill them in on the events of the past several years that have brought growth and left scars. Because what if I do share all that, and then they share with someone else. ...or worse, I share all that and then they walk away!
If you keep reading in Proverbs 27, verse 17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another." And that is why I know no matter how much it hurts, no matter how uncomfortable or how much resistance I feel, I must build relationships!
We were not made to walk this Christian journey alone! That is why God calls us to fellowship! We need those around us who can be Jesus with skin on! We need people to carry us when we can't take another step. That is probably the part that scares me the most! I have just come out of a time where I couldn't hardly carry myself much less anyone else! The thought of failing anyone else the way I have failed many friends through this time hurts my heart. But the enemy would like nothing more than to keep me in isolation....to believe those thoughts of, "It's better just to be alone...then no one expects anything of you and you don't have to share your story with anyone." If I am alone, just like a deer falling to the back of the group, I am easier to attack and take down.
So with that knowledge, I press forward! God has put some amazing people in John and my life. People who just seem like friends from the start..natural relationships that don't really have to be "worked at". They haven't all gone beyond surface yet, but they will. God has placed us in an amazing Body of His that shares our heart for people and wants to further God's kingdom. It is not perfect since it is made up of people like me. But it is perfect for us and I look forward to new friends who can walk this journey with me and I with them!
But one day this friend betrayed my confidence in a BIG way. I was shocked. There are people you think will never hurt you in that way. She was one of those people. Her reason for betraying it was to "protect" a pastor...nothing like being thrown under the bus to protect the one who is supposed to be "shepherding" ie: protecting you!
But the betrayal of trust isn't even the deepest wound. As a person who used to have NO mercy or grace for things like this, I extended incredible grace and mercy to this friend. I couldn't trust her anymore with my deepest darkest secrets as I had in the past, but I told her that one mistake didn't erase the years of knowing that she is a Godly woman with incredible wisdom! I wanted to maintain a friendship with her....it would look different, but she had meant so much to me for so long, I was not willing to walk away from it all together.
She obviously felt differently as I have only received a couple of e-mails from her since that time and the last one I sent to her went unanswered.
As we have moved to a new church and are healing from the wounds of the past, I am finding it harder than I thought. I have always been one to seek out relationships and build friendships. But after going through what we did at our old church coupled with coming out of a very dark time in my life, I am finding it hard to take the steps necessary for friendships. I dread being somewhere that I know will require talking to people..sharing my story. As I told one friend, after 35 years, my story is really long! I don't want to have to explain to any more people why I am where I am! I don't want to have to fill them in on the events of the past several years that have brought growth and left scars. Because what if I do share all that, and then they share with someone else. ...or worse, I share all that and then they walk away!
If you keep reading in Proverbs 27, verse 17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another." And that is why I know no matter how much it hurts, no matter how uncomfortable or how much resistance I feel, I must build relationships!
We were not made to walk this Christian journey alone! That is why God calls us to fellowship! We need those around us who can be Jesus with skin on! We need people to carry us when we can't take another step. That is probably the part that scares me the most! I have just come out of a time where I couldn't hardly carry myself much less anyone else! The thought of failing anyone else the way I have failed many friends through this time hurts my heart. But the enemy would like nothing more than to keep me in isolation....to believe those thoughts of, "It's better just to be alone...then no one expects anything of you and you don't have to share your story with anyone." If I am alone, just like a deer falling to the back of the group, I am easier to attack and take down.
So with that knowledge, I press forward! God has put some amazing people in John and my life. People who just seem like friends from the start..natural relationships that don't really have to be "worked at". They haven't all gone beyond surface yet, but they will. God has placed us in an amazing Body of His that shares our heart for people and wants to further God's kingdom. It is not perfect since it is made up of people like me. But it is perfect for us and I look forward to new friends who can walk this journey with me and I with them!
Friday, May 29, 2009
New Perspective
The title of today's chapter in Dangerous Surrender was "An Unexpected Bond." It has given me a new perspective.
Kay Warren talks about going into a depression because of the brokenness and hopelessness she saw day in and day out as she traveled the world learning all she could about HIV/AIDS in order to be an effective advocate.
Funny, but I have found that most Christians who enter into some kind of sold out ministry for Christ eventually deal with deep depression. That has always baffled me a bit...really baffled me before I suffered from it, but even now that I have experienced it myself, it is a source of frustration and mystery how someone laying down her cross daily (well almost!) and walking in faith and obedience does not even come close to experience the abundant life Jesus promises for such devotion. Today's chapter has given me LOTS of food for thought!
Listen to this! "You now get to taste just a portion of the anguish God feels about our broken world. If you let it, this will bring you into a deeper communion with him as you begin to share in the sufferings of Christ. He suffers for our world. Now you have been allowed the privilege of joining in his pain and sorrow. You and Jesus will weep together." That sounds simple, right?! But when you see devastation time and again, when you look into the eyes of hopeless people time and again with no answers for them, when the efforts you make to try and change the world for these people are seemingly blocked from every angle, you begin to lose hope, you enter into despair, and if you are me, you blame God and get very angry at Him for not showing up! But this new perspective is that Jesus is suffering with me! Why has that thought not really occurred to me before? Well, partly because I am a self-centered, flesh filled human! And Kay talks about taking on the "I will save the world" mentality. We don't do it on purpose, but when you are confronted with that kind of despair over and over, you feel like, "I have to do something!" I have e-mails almost weekly, well they have tapered off now, from grown men in Liberia who call me "mother". Why? Because they see me as a provider, a care taker. After four years of having to tell them, I can't do anymore than I already am, and feeling horrible for not being able to change their reality, I get discouraged. I don't want to write them encouraging e-mails anymore...I just want them to leave me alone. That's Christ-like, huh?!
But this new perspective is that God is allowing me to see this so that I can enter into a whole new level of communion with Him! I can be broken over the world like He is. Then I can work with Him to impact their brokenness with the Truth of Him. This is going to take some time to ponder and soak in! If I'm rambling its because you guys are witnessing my thought process here...scary, huh?!! :)
She talks about how looking at it from this perspective means to love God passionately and deeply would automatically lead to my heart being broken, which in my flesh leads to "Take on the world by yourself!" She shares that with that attitude, I am "inadvertently cheating myself our of the consolation and comfort available to me through sharing in the fellowship of the sufferings of Jesus." Then a sentence I need to write on my mirror and the wall of my office: "I had to surrender my desire to save the world."
Wow! That is going to take some time to soak in! I think that sentence is going to be profound for me! I never started out thinking I will save the world! In fact, as I stated in the past posts, I have tried to guard against that. But with the more devastation I have seen, the more I felt a need to "do" something! When how God wanted me to respond was to sink deeper into Him and weep with Him while working to help whomever He allows!
Now for a passion of mine that she touched on! As I work in this ministry, the inability of Christians to work together mystifies me! I have attempted so many times to reach out to others to join our efforts. Some have been receptive, but many more have not. It is frustrating and often a source of anger for me that I have to work through. I can just see how much more effective we could be in showing Jesus to the world if we worked together. But I think Kay hit a nail on the head when she said this:
"In community our misguided attempts to save the world by ourselves are challenged. In community, our motivations are held up to loving scrutiny. In community, the weight of the world is carried by other committed Christ-followers. In community, we go into his presence together to share the celebration of his sacrifice of our sins. In community, dangerous surrender on the part of a group member is a cause for rejoicing, not a decision to ridicule and mock."
Oh if the Body could get that! What a difference it would make!
Lots to ponder.......
Kay Warren talks about going into a depression because of the brokenness and hopelessness she saw day in and day out as she traveled the world learning all she could about HIV/AIDS in order to be an effective advocate.
Funny, but I have found that most Christians who enter into some kind of sold out ministry for Christ eventually deal with deep depression. That has always baffled me a bit...really baffled me before I suffered from it, but even now that I have experienced it myself, it is a source of frustration and mystery how someone laying down her cross daily (well almost!) and walking in faith and obedience does not even come close to experience the abundant life Jesus promises for such devotion. Today's chapter has given me LOTS of food for thought!
Listen to this! "You now get to taste just a portion of the anguish God feels about our broken world. If you let it, this will bring you into a deeper communion with him as you begin to share in the sufferings of Christ. He suffers for our world. Now you have been allowed the privilege of joining in his pain and sorrow. You and Jesus will weep together." That sounds simple, right?! But when you see devastation time and again, when you look into the eyes of hopeless people time and again with no answers for them, when the efforts you make to try and change the world for these people are seemingly blocked from every angle, you begin to lose hope, you enter into despair, and if you are me, you blame God and get very angry at Him for not showing up! But this new perspective is that Jesus is suffering with me! Why has that thought not really occurred to me before? Well, partly because I am a self-centered, flesh filled human! And Kay talks about taking on the "I will save the world" mentality. We don't do it on purpose, but when you are confronted with that kind of despair over and over, you feel like, "I have to do something!" I have e-mails almost weekly, well they have tapered off now, from grown men in Liberia who call me "mother". Why? Because they see me as a provider, a care taker. After four years of having to tell them, I can't do anymore than I already am, and feeling horrible for not being able to change their reality, I get discouraged. I don't want to write them encouraging e-mails anymore...I just want them to leave me alone. That's Christ-like, huh?!
But this new perspective is that God is allowing me to see this so that I can enter into a whole new level of communion with Him! I can be broken over the world like He is. Then I can work with Him to impact their brokenness with the Truth of Him. This is going to take some time to ponder and soak in! If I'm rambling its because you guys are witnessing my thought process here...scary, huh?!! :)
She talks about how looking at it from this perspective means to love God passionately and deeply would automatically lead to my heart being broken, which in my flesh leads to "Take on the world by yourself!" She shares that with that attitude, I am "inadvertently cheating myself our of the consolation and comfort available to me through sharing in the fellowship of the sufferings of Jesus." Then a sentence I need to write on my mirror and the wall of my office: "I had to surrender my desire to save the world."
Wow! That is going to take some time to soak in! I think that sentence is going to be profound for me! I never started out thinking I will save the world! In fact, as I stated in the past posts, I have tried to guard against that. But with the more devastation I have seen, the more I felt a need to "do" something! When how God wanted me to respond was to sink deeper into Him and weep with Him while working to help whomever He allows!
Now for a passion of mine that she touched on! As I work in this ministry, the inability of Christians to work together mystifies me! I have attempted so many times to reach out to others to join our efforts. Some have been receptive, but many more have not. It is frustrating and often a source of anger for me that I have to work through. I can just see how much more effective we could be in showing Jesus to the world if we worked together. But I think Kay hit a nail on the head when she said this:
"In community our misguided attempts to save the world by ourselves are challenged. In community, our motivations are held up to loving scrutiny. In community, the weight of the world is carried by other committed Christ-followers. In community, we go into his presence together to share the celebration of his sacrifice of our sins. In community, dangerous surrender on the part of a group member is a cause for rejoicing, not a decision to ridicule and mock."
Oh if the Body could get that! What a difference it would make!
Lots to ponder.......
Monday, May 18, 2009
Looking for reading buddies!
Friends and strangers,
I need reading buddies! I am coming out of a fierce dark and dry time of doubting, hurting, bleeding and wanting to just die. But since I have breath this morning, God is not done with me so I must carry on and frankly I would like to be much more effective than I have been the last few weeks in my stupor!
Soooooo..I am asking for you to join me. I know many are wrapping up Bible Studies, etc for the summer. Satan has used isolation to just about kill me many times in my life. This is one of those times!
As I prayed this morning about how to fill any empty spaces in me with Jesus, God reminded me of a book I had bought but never read, Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren. I know several who have read it and highly recmmond it if you are ready to be undone! I have been undone lately, but I was undone for the wrong team! So I am picking this book up to get back in the game on the right team and be undone for Jesus Christ!
If you would like to join me, I would LOVE IT! We will have a "book club" so to speak. What I will do is put discussion questions on my blog to get us started. Then everyone can post comment about their thoughts and reactions from the chapter. If you have questions you want to discuss, post them to the comments, or e-mail them to me and I will include them in the discussion questions! Invite anyone you want! The more the merrier! I am ready to be undone and want to take as many people as possible with me! :>)
We will officially start on Wednesday which will give people a couple of days to get the book. We will just do three chapters a week which means it will take us 4 weeks to complete and maybe will help people not get too far behind if they are on vacation or something for one of the weeks.
We will just do two chapters this week to give people a chance to get the book and not get backed up....I wish I had this brain storm earlier as I want to just read the book in one sitting! :) But I will wait for you guys!
I need reading buddies! I am coming out of a fierce dark and dry time of doubting, hurting, bleeding and wanting to just die. But since I have breath this morning, God is not done with me so I must carry on and frankly I would like to be much more effective than I have been the last few weeks in my stupor!
Soooooo..I am asking for you to join me. I know many are wrapping up Bible Studies, etc for the summer. Satan has used isolation to just about kill me many times in my life. This is one of those times!
As I prayed this morning about how to fill any empty spaces in me with Jesus, God reminded me of a book I had bought but never read, Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren. I know several who have read it and highly recmmond it if you are ready to be undone! I have been undone lately, but I was undone for the wrong team! So I am picking this book up to get back in the game on the right team and be undone for Jesus Christ!
If you would like to join me, I would LOVE IT! We will have a "book club" so to speak. What I will do is put discussion questions on my blog to get us started. Then everyone can post comment about their thoughts and reactions from the chapter. If you have questions you want to discuss, post them to the comments, or e-mail them to me and I will include them in the discussion questions! Invite anyone you want! The more the merrier! I am ready to be undone and want to take as many people as possible with me! :>)
We will officially start on Wednesday which will give people a couple of days to get the book. We will just do three chapters a week which means it will take us 4 weeks to complete and maybe will help people not get too far behind if they are on vacation or something for one of the weeks.
We will just do two chapters this week to give people a chance to get the book and not get backed up....I wish I had this brain storm earlier as I want to just read the book in one sitting! :) But I will wait for you guys!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Facts that should make you sick...then make you act!
Based on data provided by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services submitted as of January 16, 2008, there are more than 500,000 children in the foster care systems throughout the United States.
143 million orphans exist worldwide!
Among the children who are currently placed, there are approximately 20,000 children who will emancipate or age out of the system this year.
Nearly half of foster kids in the U.S. become homeless when they turn 18.
Nationwide, there are more than one hundred thousand of children in the U.S. foster care system waiting for permanent families.
"...for in you the fatherless find compassion." Hosea 14:3
143 million orphans exist worldwide!
Among the children who are currently placed, there are approximately 20,000 children who will emancipate or age out of the system this year.
Nearly half of foster kids in the U.S. become homeless when they turn 18.
Nationwide, there are more than one hundred thousand of children in the U.S. foster care system waiting for permanent families.
"...for in you the fatherless find compassion." Hosea 14:3
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
drum roll please......
I am going to the Orphan Summit at Irving Bible Church! I am so stoked! Nothing could have made my day more! I thought I had already missed it, but my friend Jody set me straight! I have tried all day to register but between calls from the Ambassador and getting ready for my meeting with my Congressman tomorrow, I haven't had a chance. So right now, at 11:30 pm, when I should be in bed, I am going to pick my break out sessions! John is going with me. We need a weekend away... and I need him to go to the sessions I can't attend!There are TONS of sessions on forming an adoption/foster ministry at your church. This is something that we were not allowed to do at our old church, but leadership of our new church seems to be open to...if you are reading this..Hint..Hint! :)
Seriously, though, I know this will be much needed encouragement and contacts to keep trekking on this journey that literally wears me out on a daily basis! Meeting with other Christians who have a passion for hurting children...here and over seas...will be a dream come true!
Off to register so that maybe I can get some sleep tonight! :)
I wonder if any reps from Save the Children will be there....hmmmmmmm........
I love my new church!
I cannot say enough good about my new church, Mid-Cities. It is not perfect - it is made up of people just like me. At some point, I will be offended or hurt while being there. It is a family, don't we always get hurt or offended by family? But when that happens, I will pray through it, and do as God directs! We work it out!
What do I love about it? Well, they love people! That is my heart, and I believe that is the heart of God! People! They are constantly seeking ways to take the the people in this family from where they are to the next step in their faith journey. Isn't that what it is all about? Aren't we all supposed to be growing from glory to glory? But the cool thing about Mid-Cities is that they don't just talk about it, they do it! Wow! What a concept! They don't have it all figured out. They don't have the road map or the 10 year plan...well, not as far as I know anyway. They just ask what the people need then try to get the tools in their hands as quickly as possible. We just joined a few weeks ago. Do you know one of the questions that was on the member information sheet? What is your dream for the Kingdom of God? Really???? They want to know what my dream is? They want to know what God is calling me to?? I went from a place that specifically told me, "We will walk with you as a person, but we will not walk with your ministry." That would be great if I knew how to separate the two, but as far as I know, I am one in the same. And now I have found a place that cares about what God is doing in the lives of the believers that He sends to them! Wow! What a marvelous concept.
Funny thing is, we visited Mid-Cities when we first moved to this area almost 5 years ago. I couldn't hack it. It was too much for me! I just wasn't ready spiritually. I still had God in a box! My box wasn't big enough for the God this church serves. That is a post for another time.
The leadership and the people of Mid-Cities believe in the power of God! I LOVE THAT! They pray expecting things to happen. They encourage us to pray expecting things to happen. They believe the sky is the limit as long as God is at the wheel. Praise God!
Daniel, our senior pastor, is younger than me. I love that too! But there are seasoned saints on staff as well. There is a balance! We need the ones who have been there and done that! Daniel is a wonderful teacher. If you want to hear some really practical sermons for walking with God, check out the website: www.midcities.org.
What do I love about it? Well, they love people! That is my heart, and I believe that is the heart of God! People! They are constantly seeking ways to take the the people in this family from where they are to the next step in their faith journey. Isn't that what it is all about? Aren't we all supposed to be growing from glory to glory? But the cool thing about Mid-Cities is that they don't just talk about it, they do it! Wow! What a concept! They don't have it all figured out. They don't have the road map or the 10 year plan...well, not as far as I know anyway. They just ask what the people need then try to get the tools in their hands as quickly as possible. We just joined a few weeks ago. Do you know one of the questions that was on the member information sheet? What is your dream for the Kingdom of God? Really???? They want to know what my dream is? They want to know what God is calling me to?? I went from a place that specifically told me, "We will walk with you as a person, but we will not walk with your ministry." That would be great if I knew how to separate the two, but as far as I know, I am one in the same. And now I have found a place that cares about what God is doing in the lives of the believers that He sends to them! Wow! What a marvelous concept.
Funny thing is, we visited Mid-Cities when we first moved to this area almost 5 years ago. I couldn't hack it. It was too much for me! I just wasn't ready spiritually. I still had God in a box! My box wasn't big enough for the God this church serves. That is a post for another time.
The leadership and the people of Mid-Cities believe in the power of God! I LOVE THAT! They pray expecting things to happen. They encourage us to pray expecting things to happen. They believe the sky is the limit as long as God is at the wheel. Praise God!
Daniel, our senior pastor, is younger than me. I love that too! But there are seasoned saints on staff as well. There is a balance! We need the ones who have been there and done that! Daniel is a wonderful teacher. If you want to hear some really practical sermons for walking with God, check out the website: www.midcities.org.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Still hurts
You know, when you are wounded by your Christian family, the hurt lingers. I think I am ok, then something happens to spark the hurt again. Not anything big. This morning, I was cleaning out some old e-mails and came across some from my mentor. I had a 3 year relationship with this person. I considered her among my spiritual heroes...still do. She was my "spiritual mother". There was a breech of confidence in that relationship that was very painful. Obviously, that breech meant I could no longer share the intimate details that I once did, but it didn't change the fact that I know she is a Godly woman who follows hard after God. She is still human, and made a mistake. I took it for what it was. I still wanted to maintain contact. But evidently the feelings were not mutual.
That has been the hardest part about leaving our church. After five years of dedicating our life to that body and investing in the lives of people there, I can count on one hand the number of people who have not dropped us like a hot potato! And really, those are people who have kind of stepped up from the background, not our close friends. Why is that? I really don't understand that. We have made it clear to everyone we speak to that we are disappointed in the leadership, wish they could give Biblical, spiritual reasons for the way they treated us, but that we still wanted to maintain relationships with all our family there. My saying is, we are leaving the church, we are not dead! But I guess to many, those are one in the same. That hurts!
On a positive note, we are having lunch with the pastor and his wife of the church we have been attending. So far we are VERY impressed with their philosophy on ministry and their willingness to meet people right where they are and provide what their body needs to take the next step in their spiritual growth. Seems that there are some who talk about pacing, and there are some who do pacing! So we are really excited to see what comes of that. John met with the music/missions minister last week for lunch and was very impressed with his philosophies and passion for involving others in missions. Both of these lunch meetings were initiated by the pastors, not us! There is a new concept, at least for us common, not in the "in crowd" people.
We know this church will not be perfect either! It is made of humans like us! But it seems to be much more humble and open to new people than our last one. That is exciting! So maybe we have found a church home! I pray so!
That has been the hardest part about leaving our church. After five years of dedicating our life to that body and investing in the lives of people there, I can count on one hand the number of people who have not dropped us like a hot potato! And really, those are people who have kind of stepped up from the background, not our close friends. Why is that? I really don't understand that. We have made it clear to everyone we speak to that we are disappointed in the leadership, wish they could give Biblical, spiritual reasons for the way they treated us, but that we still wanted to maintain relationships with all our family there. My saying is, we are leaving the church, we are not dead! But I guess to many, those are one in the same. That hurts!
On a positive note, we are having lunch with the pastor and his wife of the church we have been attending. So far we are VERY impressed with their philosophy on ministry and their willingness to meet people right where they are and provide what their body needs to take the next step in their spiritual growth. Seems that there are some who talk about pacing, and there are some who do pacing! So we are really excited to see what comes of that. John met with the music/missions minister last week for lunch and was very impressed with his philosophies and passion for involving others in missions. Both of these lunch meetings were initiated by the pastors, not us! There is a new concept, at least for us common, not in the "in crowd" people.
We know this church will not be perfect either! It is made of humans like us! But it seems to be much more humble and open to new people than our last one. That is exciting! So maybe we have found a church home! I pray so!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
$1100 closer
We don't have a baby yet, but two dear friends who have walked through this amazing roller coaster with me have donated $1,100 in faith that we WILL have a baby! My soul is soaring! Now I just need a phone call that says, you are chosen! It all kind feels like an out of body experience! Not sure how to feel....haven't been in these shoes in over seven years when we found out about Noah!
I just keep telling myeslf, "God is in control and whatever the outcome is HIS will and is for my good!" I will keep repeating that so no matter the outcome, whether He gives or takes away, still I will say Blessed be the name of my LORD!
I just keep telling myeslf, "God is in control and whatever the outcome is HIS will and is for my good!" I will keep repeating that so no matter the outcome, whether He gives or takes away, still I will say Blessed be the name of my LORD!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I want to see the miracles!
I have felt since June that God has me on the top of a snowy hill sitting in a sled toppling back and forth, but not yet racing full speed ahead down the hill with all the thrill and anticipation and even a little fear that it would bring. You know, like the Grinch when he is on the hill about to race down to Whoville?
I have no idea what the "thing" is that will push me over the edge! But I think it is close! We have had friends in the past say that we are addrenaline junkies and go from one crisis to the next to avoid our issues. At first, I embraced that and tried to make sure we stopped. But lately, I am realizing that we are not adrenaline junikes, we are God junkies! And for that, I will not be ashamed!
I had the most intimate time with God I have ever had this past summer! I have seen more miracles in the past 6 months and seen the visible hand of God more than I have in my entire life....and I love it! I have tasted and seen that He is good, and I can't get enough! You see, those crisis as our friends saw them were the risks God called us to take in order to walk by faith. Can you walk by faith and not be on the edge? Isn't that what faith is? Being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see?! Yes we adopted a baby boy when our marriage was on the rocks....that was 7 years ago and we are still married! What if we had let our marriage issues keep us from adopting him because things weren't "just right" for us to do it? We would have missed out on more than I can even imagine! What if we had not bought a house that hadn't been lived in for over 8 years in a town with NO resale value? We wouldn't have started the adoption of the girls had we not moved because our current house was too small..we wouldn't have had the money to move here when we needed if we hadn't had the huge blessing of an unbelievable profit in that town with NO resale value, what if I had quit the agency when things were so tuff they took the very life out of me and my family instead of pesevering and "shoring up the stakes"? I would have missed a trip to Liberia that saw God move in mighty ways across a government that had been allowed to stop adoptions! No it is not adrenaline I seek, but a life fully sold out, no reservations for God!
I realized that this week as I heard God call us to the next faith walk! It is big! I am not ready to share it here yet, but stay tuned! As I got up from my quiet times this weekend, I was energized in a way I haven't been before...and through maturity of the last few years, I was energized not just for the "big thing", but for the daily tasks that need to happen to make sure my family is cared for, my home is running smoothly, etc while I wait for the "thing" that pushes us over the edge of that hill to run full speed ahead after God.
See, I firmly believe that the end time is drawing near. I am no Biblical scholar, and I have no real "proof" to base that on. It is just something I feel in my Spirit. We have to do more....people are dieing to know the hope that we have! I believe God is seeking people who will worship in Spirit and in truth...not just on Sunday when the music is playing, but Monday through Saturday too when life is rolling. I believe He wants to show His glory! I believe He is looking for people willing to walk outside the box, take the risks, let the faith walk take them over the hill so that He can show miracle after miracle! I believe that the dead can still be raised! Have I seen it, no! But God says in His Word that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! Yesterday He did it, so that means He can to it today and tomorrow also!
As I sit with people and talk, really listen more than talk, I am realzing that I am more and more of a Jesus Freak with each passing day! My mind has truly been transformed. Ifind that people around me don't understand me, and I really don't understand them. I see the things that people around me are chasing after, and I have no interest in them. I am not saying that I am above them, please do not hear me say that! I am just different. I find the most difference to be among "Christians". I really don't 'get' most of them. God has done a work in me that has taken me to a place that I never dreamed or imagined. I still have my worldly battles..food, wanting a bigger/nicer house (even though the one He has blessed me with is more than I ever truly believed I would have), wanting to be able to buy the latest fashions for me and the kids, wanted sculptured nails to look like everyone else, etc, etc... But for the most part, I am finding I want to seek God more than I want to chase after these things and I am just trying to find the balance. But for me to not share with the people who are seeking in some way the knowledge I have and the hope that I have would be the biggest mistake and the biggest waste of my experiences I can think of!
So I have stopped worrying about being different and gladly wear the title Jesus Freak! Yes, it causes much frustration at times...many times...because people do not understand me! But that is ok! One day, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess...and I want to be on the front row!
So stay tuned....I believe in miracles, and I expect big ones in my life over the next months! I believe there is a movement in the body for just this thing! I have many friends across the cyber world who understand what I am saying exactly...so if you are in the same place, leave a comment with your blog address! Tell us about your miracles or the journey God has you on that you know will end in a miracle! Let's encourage one another in this walk we are on! I can't wait to see what God has in store, can you?
I have no idea what the "thing" is that will push me over the edge! But I think it is close! We have had friends in the past say that we are addrenaline junkies and go from one crisis to the next to avoid our issues. At first, I embraced that and tried to make sure we stopped. But lately, I am realizing that we are not adrenaline junikes, we are God junkies! And for that, I will not be ashamed!
I had the most intimate time with God I have ever had this past summer! I have seen more miracles in the past 6 months and seen the visible hand of God more than I have in my entire life....and I love it! I have tasted and seen that He is good, and I can't get enough! You see, those crisis as our friends saw them were the risks God called us to take in order to walk by faith. Can you walk by faith and not be on the edge? Isn't that what faith is? Being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see?! Yes we adopted a baby boy when our marriage was on the rocks....that was 7 years ago and we are still married! What if we had let our marriage issues keep us from adopting him because things weren't "just right" for us to do it? We would have missed out on more than I can even imagine! What if we had not bought a house that hadn't been lived in for over 8 years in a town with NO resale value? We wouldn't have started the adoption of the girls had we not moved because our current house was too small..we wouldn't have had the money to move here when we needed if we hadn't had the huge blessing of an unbelievable profit in that town with NO resale value, what if I had quit the agency when things were so tuff they took the very life out of me and my family instead of pesevering and "shoring up the stakes"? I would have missed a trip to Liberia that saw God move in mighty ways across a government that had been allowed to stop adoptions! No it is not adrenaline I seek, but a life fully sold out, no reservations for God!
I realized that this week as I heard God call us to the next faith walk! It is big! I am not ready to share it here yet, but stay tuned! As I got up from my quiet times this weekend, I was energized in a way I haven't been before...and through maturity of the last few years, I was energized not just for the "big thing", but for the daily tasks that need to happen to make sure my family is cared for, my home is running smoothly, etc while I wait for the "thing" that pushes us over the edge of that hill to run full speed ahead after God.
See, I firmly believe that the end time is drawing near. I am no Biblical scholar, and I have no real "proof" to base that on. It is just something I feel in my Spirit. We have to do more....people are dieing to know the hope that we have! I believe God is seeking people who will worship in Spirit and in truth...not just on Sunday when the music is playing, but Monday through Saturday too when life is rolling. I believe He wants to show His glory! I believe He is looking for people willing to walk outside the box, take the risks, let the faith walk take them over the hill so that He can show miracle after miracle! I believe that the dead can still be raised! Have I seen it, no! But God says in His Word that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! Yesterday He did it, so that means He can to it today and tomorrow also!
As I sit with people and talk, really listen more than talk, I am realzing that I am more and more of a Jesus Freak with each passing day! My mind has truly been transformed. Ifind that people around me don't understand me, and I really don't understand them. I see the things that people around me are chasing after, and I have no interest in them. I am not saying that I am above them, please do not hear me say that! I am just different. I find the most difference to be among "Christians". I really don't 'get' most of them. God has done a work in me that has taken me to a place that I never dreamed or imagined. I still have my worldly battles..food, wanting a bigger/nicer house (even though the one He has blessed me with is more than I ever truly believed I would have), wanting to be able to buy the latest fashions for me and the kids, wanted sculptured nails to look like everyone else, etc, etc... But for the most part, I am finding I want to seek God more than I want to chase after these things and I am just trying to find the balance. But for me to not share with the people who are seeking in some way the knowledge I have and the hope that I have would be the biggest mistake and the biggest waste of my experiences I can think of!
So I have stopped worrying about being different and gladly wear the title Jesus Freak! Yes, it causes much frustration at times...many times...because people do not understand me! But that is ok! One day, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess...and I want to be on the front row!
So stay tuned....I believe in miracles, and I expect big ones in my life over the next months! I believe there is a movement in the body for just this thing! I have many friends across the cyber world who understand what I am saying exactly...so if you are in the same place, leave a comment with your blog address! Tell us about your miracles or the journey God has you on that you know will end in a miracle! Let's encourage one another in this walk we are on! I can't wait to see what God has in store, can you?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
How many?
So how many people can you fit in the P-tree house? We currently have three adults, 9 children from 9 years to 7 months, and one teenager! And I LOVE it! When we bought this house, I prayed that God would use it to glorify Him. So I thought we would host a small group or something like that...but I never dreamed we would have it full of kids and their family! What a blessing!
The adoptive mom for the children we have been taking care of has come to spend time with them until the lawyer has all the paper work needed to let them go to their home. Pray for her...pray for them....she is going from 2-5 children and this will be their 3rd "mommy" to adjust to in just 4 weeks.
They are doing great and as I type, I hear giggles galore coming from the bedroom where they are staying! What a sweet sound!
The adoptive mom for the children we have been taking care of has come to spend time with them until the lawyer has all the paper work needed to let them go to their home. Pray for her...pray for them....she is going from 2-5 children and this will be their 3rd "mommy" to adjust to in just 4 weeks.
They are doing great and as I type, I hear giggles galore coming from the bedroom where they are staying! What a sweet sound!
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