I have removed comments from my blog. If you know me, you know how to get in touch with me to leave a response to a blog post. I enjoy my friend's comments, so please e-mail them to me. I just don't enjoy the comments of people who don't know me and therefore don't have a clue about what they are talking about when they comment.
I just have a different philosophy about blogs than most people, I guess. I read blogs...the ones I don't agree with I either stop reading or just don't comment about as I feel it is their blog and their feelings. I don't feel it is doing anything constructive to criticize anyone on their blog whether I agree or not. If I don't agree, I don't have to read it. And if I know them well enough to have concerns about what they post, I let them know my concerns in a non-public forum.
I still think it is important for us to live our lives transparently. However, I don't feel that it gives everyone in the world the right to criticize. I obviously am a little in the minority in this thinking...but I practice what I preach in that I don't leave criticism on the blogs I read either. I believe in supporting people through their blogs.
Thanks to my friends who have been so supportive of me in my "commentors" posts! You guys rock! :)
Showing posts with label perscution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perscution. Show all posts
Monday, February 1, 2010
Friday, October 30, 2009
In Good Company!
When it comes to attacks and hardships, any of us experienceing conflict because of our beliefs or taking a stand...we are in good company! Listen to this!
"I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. 24Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. 25Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, 26I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. 27I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. 28Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. 29Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?" ~2 Corinthians 11:23b-29
And then my favorite part. Paul is sharing about the thorn in his flesh that keeps him humble. I never really realized that is the context with which he then states: "8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Hallelujah! As Beth Moore's daughter, Melissa, said in one of Beth's recent podcasts, "Bring it on! Bring it on!" The fire will bring refining! Through the insults, hardtimes and difficulties, Christ's power will dwell in me!
Oh how I love my God, my Heavenly Daddy who takes me straight to a scripture like this at 4 in the morning after the week I have had full of so many conflicts! His word is alive and active! He loves me so much that He brought me right to the scripture that He knew would remind me why the fires come....He is completing my perfection until the day of Christ's coming! Is it hard? YES! Do I whine a lot? YES! But do I love that my God is working on me? YES!!!!!
Refine me Lord! The fire is hot, and I am excited! For when I walk out on the other side, I will look more like You than I do today and that is what will bring You glory...my whole purpose for being on this earth! Praise You!
And now, I am going to try and get some sleep! Good night! ;0)
"I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. 24Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. 25Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, 26I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. 27I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. 28Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. 29Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?" ~2 Corinthians 11:23b-29
And then my favorite part. Paul is sharing about the thorn in his flesh that keeps him humble. I never really realized that is the context with which he then states: "8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Hallelujah! As Beth Moore's daughter, Melissa, said in one of Beth's recent podcasts, "Bring it on! Bring it on!" The fire will bring refining! Through the insults, hardtimes and difficulties, Christ's power will dwell in me!
Oh how I love my God, my Heavenly Daddy who takes me straight to a scripture like this at 4 in the morning after the week I have had full of so many conflicts! His word is alive and active! He loves me so much that He brought me right to the scripture that He knew would remind me why the fires come....He is completing my perfection until the day of Christ's coming! Is it hard? YES! Do I whine a lot? YES! But do I love that my God is working on me? YES!!!!!
Refine me Lord! The fire is hot, and I am excited! For when I walk out on the other side, I will look more like You than I do today and that is what will bring You glory...my whole purpose for being on this earth! Praise You!
And now, I am going to try and get some sleep! Good night! ;0)
Monday, September 21, 2009
I love it when He does that!
I love it when God encourages and speaks to me in my morning time with Him in such a real and tangible way! It is like he is sitting right next to me drinking His cup of coffee and looking over my shoulder saying, "That one right there! That is the verse you need to apply to that situation! That is what I have to say about that! Go back, read that again!" What a personal Savior we serve! Do you know Him? Have you walked away from Him? Go back!!!! No matter where you are in life, He wants to sit and have coffee with you! Not to criticize or to point out your sin, but to love and encourage you just like He did me this morning!
As I mentioned in my last post, there are some, the number seems to be growing, who are literally out to destroy me - Addy's Hope as an organization and me personally. Two years ago, they would be successful in their attempts that they have done, but today, I know where my identity is, and it is NOT in them! :)
But even more than just "sticks and stones may break my bones" thinking, God showed me in His word this morning what He thinks about what these people are doing who call themselves His children. See the work I am doing with Addy's Hope is NOT mine! It is God's! I am just the fortunate vessel that gets to be used to see God's hand at work! So when they attack, they attack God, not me.
Whether they call licensing, whether someone accuses me of child trafficking (that was from January 2008 and nearly did destroy me!), whether they question my motives, whether they look at our finances, whatever they want to call attention to, God showed me this morning what He thinks of that.
John 3: 20 "For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God."
If you investigate our past, my past (whether that applies to personal life or Addy's Hope) you will find mistakes! You will find things that should have been done differently. I am not perfect! This is especially true in the early years of Addy's Hope. Did we do anything illegal, no. Did we do things perfectly, no! I have always said we are a perfect example of God taking the totally ignorant and equipping them! When we started Addy's Hope 5 years ago, we didn't have a clue what we were doing! Not a clue! All we knew was God said, "GO!" and we said, "YES!" We were totally reliant on God for each step of the way. Sometimes we took a wrong turn and didn't do things the best way. But we have always sought to do things God's way! And that is what this verse is about!
Those who want to hurl accusations and attacks, bring it on! Because according to John 3:21, when you practice truth, your deeds will be manifested as having been wrought in God! I LOVE IT! We have always walked in truth! So come investigate! Tear our work apart! I have no fear of light, exposure, investigations (John 3:20) because I have NO fear of my deeds being exposed because I have always done my best to walk according to the Light! You will find mistakes as we are not perfect, but you will find no deeds deserving of the attacks these are launching.
I understand these people are bitter because they didn't get their child! I understand those feelings! Been there! Done that! Got the scars! Got the debt (that is a post for another time!)! But when we lost Eden due to true negligence and deceit we were very careful to walk in the Light then as well! We didn't publicly in anyway demoralize the organization and especially not the person! When asked about our adoption, we told the truth! We looked into what could be done to hold the agency accountable (not much!) and did those things. When asked what agency we used, we told. But we were very careful to handle it in the way we felt God would be honored and approve. So I know that even in the pain felt by these people hurling the insults, there is a higher road to take! I've walked it!
I know God has done a great work in my heart! When Eden's adoption failed 4 years ago, I had to work at not being bitter and forgiving those who caused me the pain. But today, well, I don't have to work at it. Is there anger, a little, at times. Mainly when I am already down and satan uses that as a jab! (which goes along with John 3:19 that says these works are evil....satan uses evil works to discourage the work of Jesus among His people...plus the main ones right now are doing everything "anonymously" which is NOT walkign in the Light! In the Light, all is exposed, most certainly your identity) But more than any other feeling is sorrow. Sorrow that people who claim to walk according to the Light would participate in such dark actions. People who claim to be children of God would act in such a manner only shows that they have no clue about the cross and the Savior they say they accepted as Lord. Sorrow that they walk in such bitterness instead of the joy that is supposed to be ours as Christ Followers.
So today as I go to work...a job that will not bring a paycheck this month because Addy's Hope is broke...I thank God that my work in Addy's Hope...even in the criticisms...has brought Proverbs 4:13-15 to life for me: "How blessed is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding. For her profit is better than the profit of silver and her gain better than fine gold. She is more precious than jewels; and nothing you desire compares with her."
We haven't gotten rich off Addy's Hope. In fact, just recently we have gone into debt a great deal because of it. But I have gained more wisdom and understanding of God's word and His truths than I could have ever imagined! And that my friends is a jewel that nothing I desire compares with!
Praying you have a day full of God's Light and Truth that encourages you to keep walking in Him as it has me today! Be blessed!
As I mentioned in my last post, there are some, the number seems to be growing, who are literally out to destroy me - Addy's Hope as an organization and me personally. Two years ago, they would be successful in their attempts that they have done, but today, I know where my identity is, and it is NOT in them! :)
But even more than just "sticks and stones may break my bones" thinking, God showed me in His word this morning what He thinks about what these people are doing who call themselves His children. See the work I am doing with Addy's Hope is NOT mine! It is God's! I am just the fortunate vessel that gets to be used to see God's hand at work! So when they attack, they attack God, not me.
Whether they call licensing, whether someone accuses me of child trafficking (that was from January 2008 and nearly did destroy me!), whether they question my motives, whether they look at our finances, whatever they want to call attention to, God showed me this morning what He thinks of that.
John 3: 20 "For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God."
If you investigate our past, my past (whether that applies to personal life or Addy's Hope) you will find mistakes! You will find things that should have been done differently. I am not perfect! This is especially true in the early years of Addy's Hope. Did we do anything illegal, no. Did we do things perfectly, no! I have always said we are a perfect example of God taking the totally ignorant and equipping them! When we started Addy's Hope 5 years ago, we didn't have a clue what we were doing! Not a clue! All we knew was God said, "GO!" and we said, "YES!" We were totally reliant on God for each step of the way. Sometimes we took a wrong turn and didn't do things the best way. But we have always sought to do things God's way! And that is what this verse is about!
Those who want to hurl accusations and attacks, bring it on! Because according to John 3:21, when you practice truth, your deeds will be manifested as having been wrought in God! I LOVE IT! We have always walked in truth! So come investigate! Tear our work apart! I have no fear of light, exposure, investigations (John 3:20) because I have NO fear of my deeds being exposed because I have always done my best to walk according to the Light! You will find mistakes as we are not perfect, but you will find no deeds deserving of the attacks these are launching.
I understand these people are bitter because they didn't get their child! I understand those feelings! Been there! Done that! Got the scars! Got the debt (that is a post for another time!)! But when we lost Eden due to true negligence and deceit we were very careful to walk in the Light then as well! We didn't publicly in anyway demoralize the organization and especially not the person! When asked about our adoption, we told the truth! We looked into what could be done to hold the agency accountable (not much!) and did those things. When asked what agency we used, we told. But we were very careful to handle it in the way we felt God would be honored and approve. So I know that even in the pain felt by these people hurling the insults, there is a higher road to take! I've walked it!
I know God has done a great work in my heart! When Eden's adoption failed 4 years ago, I had to work at not being bitter and forgiving those who caused me the pain. But today, well, I don't have to work at it. Is there anger, a little, at times. Mainly when I am already down and satan uses that as a jab! (which goes along with John 3:19 that says these works are evil....satan uses evil works to discourage the work of Jesus among His people...plus the main ones right now are doing everything "anonymously" which is NOT walkign in the Light! In the Light, all is exposed, most certainly your identity) But more than any other feeling is sorrow. Sorrow that people who claim to walk according to the Light would participate in such dark actions. People who claim to be children of God would act in such a manner only shows that they have no clue about the cross and the Savior they say they accepted as Lord. Sorrow that they walk in such bitterness instead of the joy that is supposed to be ours as Christ Followers.
So today as I go to work...a job that will not bring a paycheck this month because Addy's Hope is broke...I thank God that my work in Addy's Hope...even in the criticisms...has brought Proverbs 4:13-15 to life for me: "How blessed is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding. For her profit is better than the profit of silver and her gain better than fine gold. She is more precious than jewels; and nothing you desire compares with her."
We haven't gotten rich off Addy's Hope. In fact, just recently we have gone into debt a great deal because of it. But I have gained more wisdom and understanding of God's word and His truths than I could have ever imagined! And that my friends is a jewel that nothing I desire compares with!
Praying you have a day full of God's Light and Truth that encourages you to keep walking in Him as it has me today! Be blessed!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Darkness
I have shared before about my struggle with depression. I have had some times the last few months when I felt I was really headed out of the darkness...at one point, I even told John that I hadn't realized how much darkness had encompassed me until I began to come into the light. But most recently through multiple issues/events, I felt myself slipping back into the pit. Many authors describe depression well as a pit of darkness. As you begin to slip into depression it is as if you are clinging to the side of a slippery wall that you know as you fall will find you deep in the depths of darkness and despair that feels as if it will never end. Sometimes you feel like no matter what you do, your fingers can't grip the edge, your finger nails only make grooves as you slip further and further down. Depression is kind of like other things in life that if you haven't experienced it, you really can't understand it. I know for me, before depression hit my life, I didn't understand why people couldn't just pull themselves up by the boot straps and get happy. Now I understand why. But I also know that you can fight depression, you can fight to get back on top where the light is, or you can wallow in the pit and believe all the lies and stay in a state of despair.
I was reading I John this morning at the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Once again, I read a scripture that I have read many times and in fact have it underlined for a different reason...but this morning, it had all new meaning as the Holy Spirit spoke to me about depression and darkness. It was a hard lesson. It was a convicting lesson, but I believe it is a valuable one!
I John 1: 5-6 says, "This is the message we have heard from him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth."
OUCH! So for me to walk in darkness is to not practice truth and is a lie if I say I am in Him! And now, sharing this on a public forum, I have accountability because I can no longer plead ignorance! :)
I have always read "darkness" in this verse as sin, but as I read this morning, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me that this applies to the darkness of depression also. Depression keeps me disabled. It keeps me paralyzed...which in a sense keeps me working for the enemy! As long as he can keep me paralyzed and walking in darkness, I am not effective for the kingdom.
I don't have this all figured out yet because I know in the past there have been days that I couldn't pull myself out of the darkness no matter how much I tried...even fighting the battles I believe that when you suffer from something like depression, it is vital to have prayer warriors who can pull you out when you can't climb out on your own. I have amazing friends that God will lay me on their heart when I need prayer. Twice in the last week, I have literally felt the prayers lift me out of darkness. One day, I came out of it, but yesterday, well, I made a choice, a bad choice, I stayed in the pit. I wish I understood all of this better to know why at those moments I choose to believe lies and stay in the pit! I know part of it is that I just get tired of fighting battles and when I give in to the pit, the battle stops. I'm sure it doesn't stop in the heavens, but for me, in my mind, it stops. I am sad, I am down, I am angry, but I am not battling. I fight so many battles in my ministry and my home that when the battles inside me start, sometimes I just lay down and let the enemy walk all over me.
I hate that about myself! I hate my weakness! When I read in Acts 21 where Paul's friends are telling him that if he continues on his journey, he will be bound and delivered to his enemies Paul responds, "What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but even t die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." Oh how I wish I had that maturity and dedication...that even when I KNOW I am going to suffer heartache and pain, I still walk strongly into what I am called to. And maybe I do actually...I think God gives me strength to do the hard things I need to do in the ministry he has given me both as a wife, mom and adoption/child relief advocate, but when the tough times come...the children act out, the husband doesn't meet my needs, the adoptive parents attack, the government puts a halt on adoptions, false accusations against me run rampant....that is when I slink back. I lose the strength. I let those things get to me instead of standing on TRUTH!
Oh I have so much to learn in this life! Today my prayer is that no matter what today brings, I will walk in The Light and bask in His goodness...because no matter what my day brings, He is good and He loves me more than I can ever imagine! And to believe anything else is to break the heart of the One who broke His body for me on the cross!
I was reading I John this morning at the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Once again, I read a scripture that I have read many times and in fact have it underlined for a different reason...but this morning, it had all new meaning as the Holy Spirit spoke to me about depression and darkness. It was a hard lesson. It was a convicting lesson, but I believe it is a valuable one!
I John 1: 5-6 says, "This is the message we have heard from him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth."
OUCH! So for me to walk in darkness is to not practice truth and is a lie if I say I am in Him! And now, sharing this on a public forum, I have accountability because I can no longer plead ignorance! :)
I have always read "darkness" in this verse as sin, but as I read this morning, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me that this applies to the darkness of depression also. Depression keeps me disabled. It keeps me paralyzed...which in a sense keeps me working for the enemy! As long as he can keep me paralyzed and walking in darkness, I am not effective for the kingdom.
I don't have this all figured out yet because I know in the past there have been days that I couldn't pull myself out of the darkness no matter how much I tried...even fighting the battles I believe that when you suffer from something like depression, it is vital to have prayer warriors who can pull you out when you can't climb out on your own. I have amazing friends that God will lay me on their heart when I need prayer. Twice in the last week, I have literally felt the prayers lift me out of darkness. One day, I came out of it, but yesterday, well, I made a choice, a bad choice, I stayed in the pit. I wish I understood all of this better to know why at those moments I choose to believe lies and stay in the pit! I know part of it is that I just get tired of fighting battles and when I give in to the pit, the battle stops. I'm sure it doesn't stop in the heavens, but for me, in my mind, it stops. I am sad, I am down, I am angry, but I am not battling. I fight so many battles in my ministry and my home that when the battles inside me start, sometimes I just lay down and let the enemy walk all over me.
I hate that about myself! I hate my weakness! When I read in Acts 21 where Paul's friends are telling him that if he continues on his journey, he will be bound and delivered to his enemies Paul responds, "What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but even t die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." Oh how I wish I had that maturity and dedication...that even when I KNOW I am going to suffer heartache and pain, I still walk strongly into what I am called to. And maybe I do actually...I think God gives me strength to do the hard things I need to do in the ministry he has given me both as a wife, mom and adoption/child relief advocate, but when the tough times come...the children act out, the husband doesn't meet my needs, the adoptive parents attack, the government puts a halt on adoptions, false accusations against me run rampant....that is when I slink back. I lose the strength. I let those things get to me instead of standing on TRUTH!
Oh I have so much to learn in this life! Today my prayer is that no matter what today brings, I will walk in The Light and bask in His goodness...because no matter what my day brings, He is good and He loves me more than I can ever imagine! And to believe anything else is to break the heart of the One who broke His body for me on the cross!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Still hurts
You know, when you are wounded by your Christian family, the hurt lingers. I think I am ok, then something happens to spark the hurt again. Not anything big. This morning, I was cleaning out some old e-mails and came across some from my mentor. I had a 3 year relationship with this person. I considered her among my spiritual heroes...still do. She was my "spiritual mother". There was a breech of confidence in that relationship that was very painful. Obviously, that breech meant I could no longer share the intimate details that I once did, but it didn't change the fact that I know she is a Godly woman who follows hard after God. She is still human, and made a mistake. I took it for what it was. I still wanted to maintain contact. But evidently the feelings were not mutual.
That has been the hardest part about leaving our church. After five years of dedicating our life to that body and investing in the lives of people there, I can count on one hand the number of people who have not dropped us like a hot potato! And really, those are people who have kind of stepped up from the background, not our close friends. Why is that? I really don't understand that. We have made it clear to everyone we speak to that we are disappointed in the leadership, wish they could give Biblical, spiritual reasons for the way they treated us, but that we still wanted to maintain relationships with all our family there. My saying is, we are leaving the church, we are not dead! But I guess to many, those are one in the same. That hurts!
On a positive note, we are having lunch with the pastor and his wife of the church we have been attending. So far we are VERY impressed with their philosophy on ministry and their willingness to meet people right where they are and provide what their body needs to take the next step in their spiritual growth. Seems that there are some who talk about pacing, and there are some who do pacing! So we are really excited to see what comes of that. John met with the music/missions minister last week for lunch and was very impressed with his philosophies and passion for involving others in missions. Both of these lunch meetings were initiated by the pastors, not us! There is a new concept, at least for us common, not in the "in crowd" people.
We know this church will not be perfect either! It is made of humans like us! But it seems to be much more humble and open to new people than our last one. That is exciting! So maybe we have found a church home! I pray so!
That has been the hardest part about leaving our church. After five years of dedicating our life to that body and investing in the lives of people there, I can count on one hand the number of people who have not dropped us like a hot potato! And really, those are people who have kind of stepped up from the background, not our close friends. Why is that? I really don't understand that. We have made it clear to everyone we speak to that we are disappointed in the leadership, wish they could give Biblical, spiritual reasons for the way they treated us, but that we still wanted to maintain relationships with all our family there. My saying is, we are leaving the church, we are not dead! But I guess to many, those are one in the same. That hurts!
On a positive note, we are having lunch with the pastor and his wife of the church we have been attending. So far we are VERY impressed with their philosophy on ministry and their willingness to meet people right where they are and provide what their body needs to take the next step in their spiritual growth. Seems that there are some who talk about pacing, and there are some who do pacing! So we are really excited to see what comes of that. John met with the music/missions minister last week for lunch and was very impressed with his philosophies and passion for involving others in missions. Both of these lunch meetings were initiated by the pastors, not us! There is a new concept, at least for us common, not in the "in crowd" people.
We know this church will not be perfect either! It is made of humans like us! But it seems to be much more humble and open to new people than our last one. That is exciting! So maybe we have found a church home! I pray so!
Friday, October 31, 2008
My least favorite day of the year!
I am always so thankful for November 1! It means that I have one whole year before I have to deal with Halloween again.
I know that Halloween had "religious" beginnings, but it is my firm belief that those have been altered by the world. I had some misgivings about Halloween early on in my life. But it wasn't until I was in college that my convictions became solidified to the point that I stand firm in my belief that for us, this is not a holiday to be acknowledged.
I was working with a youth group at my home church when I was attending college. One Halloween for the youth meeting, the your minister invited the local Police Chief to our meeting to share about what he sees at Halloween. What he shared made an impact on me that even 15 years later stands firm in my mind. I didn't live in the best part of my college town, but I had a wonderful little house and even better neighbors that watched out for me. But just three blocks from me, by a park was an abandoned office building. What the Police Chief shared was that on Halloween every year, there were blood sacrifices performed by the Satan worshipers. The place where the sacrifice was performed was marked with the blood to show what had occured there. That building had a sacrifice in it the year before....it was marked with human blood! This means that a person was killed there as a sacrifice to the enemy.
God used that testimony to show me that I don't understand all that happens in the spiritual realm, but that there is a battle that is not of flesh and blood but between the spiritual forces of evil in this dark world and the Angels sent to fight on our behalf from the Heavenly places. For someone who grew up in a very traditional home where spiritual warfare wasn't ever a topic of conversation, this was a pretty amazing realization.
I went home after that meeting and threw away all my Halloween decorations. I had never had anything scary anyway...just cute little ghosts and witches that I thought were harmless. They probably were, but for something so real, I didn't want to even leave a crack in the door for the enemy to enter my home.
This conviction carried over to my children. I have never allowed them to participate in Halloween. When John was a principal, they would dress up and go to the fall festivals, but even now I regret that. My kids don't understand. They think I am a horrible mom for denying them this "right" to dress up and trick or treat. But this is just the beginning of me having to takea stand with my kids that might not be popular. And frankly, being popular is not what God has called me to as a parent. As they get older, they have a little more understanding of my belief and conviction, but it is still a battle every year of why I don't let them dress up and get candy. It seems so innocent to them.
So just one more ways that I am a Jesus Freak! I think responses from people on this are very interesting...I do not sit in judgement of people who participate in Halloween...I just wish I could get the same from them. This is a personal conviction that God laid on my heart. I don't pass that long to anyone else, but for me to not abstain would be in direct disobedience to God. I don't make a big deal of it, and in fact don't say anything unless someone asks what we are doing for Halloween or what my kids are going to be. Then I just say, we don't participate in Halloween. That is when the attacks usually come! Sometimes, I do wonder, are they attacking me because there is some truth that rings in their Spirit that brings conviction that they don't want to hear??? But regardless, once again, this year, there are no costumes or candy at the Petree house! We will be going ot our church for a petting zoo, chili cookoff and hot dog party! I am excited about that! Every other year, we have gone to Toys R Us and made our Christmas lists for family! (great idea if you need something to do tonight! There is NO ONE at Toys R Us on Halloween night!).
Less than 24 hours now until this will be behind me for one more year! Then there will just be something else for people to judge me on because of my radical convictions! :)
I know that Halloween had "religious" beginnings, but it is my firm belief that those have been altered by the world. I had some misgivings about Halloween early on in my life. But it wasn't until I was in college that my convictions became solidified to the point that I stand firm in my belief that for us, this is not a holiday to be acknowledged.
I was working with a youth group at my home church when I was attending college. One Halloween for the youth meeting, the your minister invited the local Police Chief to our meeting to share about what he sees at Halloween. What he shared made an impact on me that even 15 years later stands firm in my mind. I didn't live in the best part of my college town, but I had a wonderful little house and even better neighbors that watched out for me. But just three blocks from me, by a park was an abandoned office building. What the Police Chief shared was that on Halloween every year, there were blood sacrifices performed by the Satan worshipers. The place where the sacrifice was performed was marked with the blood to show what had occured there. That building had a sacrifice in it the year before....it was marked with human blood! This means that a person was killed there as a sacrifice to the enemy.
God used that testimony to show me that I don't understand all that happens in the spiritual realm, but that there is a battle that is not of flesh and blood but between the spiritual forces of evil in this dark world and the Angels sent to fight on our behalf from the Heavenly places. For someone who grew up in a very traditional home where spiritual warfare wasn't ever a topic of conversation, this was a pretty amazing realization.
I went home after that meeting and threw away all my Halloween decorations. I had never had anything scary anyway...just cute little ghosts and witches that I thought were harmless. They probably were, but for something so real, I didn't want to even leave a crack in the door for the enemy to enter my home.
This conviction carried over to my children. I have never allowed them to participate in Halloween. When John was a principal, they would dress up and go to the fall festivals, but even now I regret that. My kids don't understand. They think I am a horrible mom for denying them this "right" to dress up and trick or treat. But this is just the beginning of me having to takea stand with my kids that might not be popular. And frankly, being popular is not what God has called me to as a parent. As they get older, they have a little more understanding of my belief and conviction, but it is still a battle every year of why I don't let them dress up and get candy. It seems so innocent to them.
So just one more ways that I am a Jesus Freak! I think responses from people on this are very interesting...I do not sit in judgement of people who participate in Halloween...I just wish I could get the same from them. This is a personal conviction that God laid on my heart. I don't pass that long to anyone else, but for me to not abstain would be in direct disobedience to God. I don't make a big deal of it, and in fact don't say anything unless someone asks what we are doing for Halloween or what my kids are going to be. Then I just say, we don't participate in Halloween. That is when the attacks usually come! Sometimes, I do wonder, are they attacking me because there is some truth that rings in their Spirit that brings conviction that they don't want to hear??? But regardless, once again, this year, there are no costumes or candy at the Petree house! We will be going ot our church for a petting zoo, chili cookoff and hot dog party! I am excited about that! Every other year, we have gone to Toys R Us and made our Christmas lists for family! (great idea if you need something to do tonight! There is NO ONE at Toys R Us on Halloween night!).
Less than 24 hours now until this will be behind me for one more year! Then there will just be something else for people to judge me on because of my radical convictions! :)
Sunday, August 31, 2008
A sad day
The meeting is over
We spoke the words God gave us
They were not received so well
We are at an impass
All they can offer is helping us with a board
They can help put us in touch with other para ministry people
We need more
Our ministry is not their responsibility
They will pace with people, but not ministry
They don't know what the church's role is in a member's life either
Our senior pastor didn't even bother to attend
Some lies were spoken
We were disappointed
We are sad
Our hearts are broken
We are with out a church home
We are seeking His face
We are excited to see what He has for us
But first we must grieve our loss
Five years of our life and almost all our relationships are there
But God will heal
God will provide
I am so thankful God is not man!!!
We spoke the words God gave us
They were not received so well
We are at an impass
All they can offer is helping us with a board
They can help put us in touch with other para ministry people
We need more
Our ministry is not their responsibility
They will pace with people, but not ministry
They don't know what the church's role is in a member's life either
Our senior pastor didn't even bother to attend
Some lies were spoken
We were disappointed
We are sad
Our hearts are broken
We are with out a church home
We are seeking His face
We are excited to see what He has for us
But first we must grieve our loss
Five years of our life and almost all our relationships are there
But God will heal
God will provide
I am so thankful God is not man!!!
Don't Waste Your Life
I started reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper a while back. I blogged some about it. Well, I picked it up again last night. It amazed me lately how God puts exactly the right material in my hand at exactly the right time! Here are some things that spoke to me....hope they encourage you!
"...the life of a Christian includes many deaths...(1 Cor 15:31, Luke 9:23)...Daily Christian living is daily Christian dying. The dying I have in mind is the dying of comfort and security and reputation and health and family and friends and wealth and home land. These may be taken from us at any time in the path of Christ-exalting obedience....In other words, the way we honor Christ in death is to treasure Jesus above the gift of life, and the way we honor Christ in life is to treasure Jesus above life's gifts."
"Untold number of professing Christians waste their lives trying to escape the cost of love. They do not see that it is always worth it. There is more of God's glory to be seen and savored through suffering than through self-serving escape."
"All who desire to live a godly life in Christ will be persecuted" (2 Tim 3:12) [emphasis mine]
"What a tragic waste when people turn away from the Calvary road of love and suffering. All the riches of the glory of God in Christ are on that road. All the sweetest fellowship of Jesus is there. All the treasures of assurance. All the ecstasies of joy. All the clearest sightings of eternity. All the noblest camaraderie. All the the humblest affections. All the most tender acts of forgiving kindness. All the deepest discoveries of God's Word. All the most earnest prayers. They are all on the Calvary road where Jesus walks with his people. Take up your cross and follow Jesus. On this road and this road alone, life is Christ and death is gain. Life on every other road is wasted."
Powerful words!
"...the life of a Christian includes many deaths...(1 Cor 15:31, Luke 9:23)...Daily Christian living is daily Christian dying. The dying I have in mind is the dying of comfort and security and reputation and health and family and friends and wealth and home land. These may be taken from us at any time in the path of Christ-exalting obedience....In other words, the way we honor Christ in death is to treasure Jesus above the gift of life, and the way we honor Christ in life is to treasure Jesus above life's gifts."
"Untold number of professing Christians waste their lives trying to escape the cost of love. They do not see that it is always worth it. There is more of God's glory to be seen and savored through suffering than through self-serving escape."
"All who desire to live a godly life in Christ will be persecuted" (2 Tim 3:12) [emphasis mine]
"What a tragic waste when people turn away from the Calvary road of love and suffering. All the riches of the glory of God in Christ are on that road. All the sweetest fellowship of Jesus is there. All the treasures of assurance. All the ecstasies of joy. All the clearest sightings of eternity. All the noblest camaraderie. All the the humblest affections. All the most tender acts of forgiving kindness. All the deepest discoveries of God's Word. All the most earnest prayers. They are all on the Calvary road where Jesus walks with his people. Take up your cross and follow Jesus. On this road and this road alone, life is Christ and death is gain. Life on every other road is wasted."
Powerful words!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thank you to my blog world!
I have never been so lonely as when the church attacks. So thank you to my blog world! Through a course of events today, I am left with out trust in my closest "real world" friends. But there are several of you whom I have met through blog world that are now dear friends as we have talked on the phone or shared our hearts in e-mails and blog posts. So to all of you, I say Thank You! And thank you, God, that you have provided a way for Christians literally across the world to be connected so that we can encourage and support each other when the local church fails. I still have a support system via the web if my "real world" fell apart today! ;)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
God speaks.....
I am cleaning the kitchen from breakfast and have the radio on and am contemplating this adoption thing...wondering how we will ever pay for another adoption or raising another child! But I also wrestle with the complacency of Christians toward the children of this world. American Idol Gives back touched me, but I was sickened that people who don't know Christ have more compassion for the children of this world that those of us claiming to have the love of Christ. Many (even my closest friends) would say my plate is full.....I would be crazy to adopt again, yet there are children in need, and we have love to give! Then I hear the words, "I'm about to let go and do what I believe!" I believe in reaching out to children in need of a home! God does too! So I looked up the lyrics to this song....when I read all of them, I just sat with tears streaming down my face! John is down loading it right now so I can listen to it again.....I think this is going to be one of those diving (when I proofed this I saw this spelling mistake, supposed to be divine, but decided to leave it because 'diving' fits too!) moments that when I look back in a few months or years, I will know God spoke to me and moved me from my comfort to letting go!
BarlowGirl - Let Go
From the album Another Journal Entry
Yeah, I trust in You
I remember times You led me
This time it’s bigger now
And I’m afraid You’ll let me down
But how can I be certain
Will You prove Yourself again?
Chorus:
Cause I’m about to let go
And live what I believe
I can’t do a thing now
But trust that You’ll catch me
When I let go
When I let go
What is this doubt in me?
Convincing me to fear the unknown
When all along You’ve shown
Your plans are better than my own
And I know I won’t make it
If I do this all alone
BarlowGirl - Let Go
From the album Another Journal Entry
Yeah, I trust in You
I remember times You led me
This time it’s bigger now
And I’m afraid You’ll let me down
But how can I be certain
Will You prove Yourself again?
Chorus:
Cause I’m about to let go
And live what I believe
I can’t do a thing now
But trust that You’ll catch me
When I let go
When I let go
What is this doubt in me?
Convincing me to fear the unknown
When all along You’ve shown
Your plans are better than my own
And I know I won’t make it
If I do this all alone
Friday, March 7, 2008
Perspectives.....
I have really been struggling. Really feeling sorry for myself. Really questioning if I needed to continue on some of the paths I am on. I am really ready to be a stay at home mom who has no other responsibilities but her husband, house and children. The work God has me in right now is very stressful. Stressful in ways I have never known. It is hard to work sometimes when the people you work with don't know all the sides of an issue so they make judgements, etc. I take things way too personally! JOhn tells me that all the time. But I really care what people think about my reputation....not about me, like if I am pretty, or if they agree with me, but that I am honest and trustworthy, etc. But I am learning the closer you walk with God and the more He calls you to serve Him, even people that you think understand, will not understand. So that has made me want to walk out on some things. (I will post more about this as I work through it!) But today I had a wake up call....
I went to a reception for a dear friend of mine who is turning 50. She is a powerful woman in Washington DC and works in Sudan, China and South Korea for the persecuted church. She is amazing! When I was at the reception I met a pastor from Eithiopia who now lives here in America. I was talking to my friend's husband on the way out, and he started telling me about this pastor. He was persecuted in Ethiopia for his faith. He has been jailed 21 times, he was hung upside down and poured boiling oil on him, one of the converts with him had his eyes couged (sp?)out. I just stood there. You read stories about people like that....and I have even heard Brother Yun (Heavenly Man) speak in person. But to be standing there in conversation with someone in your every day life who has suffered that kind of persecution made me stop and think! I had just heard this man pray 10 minutes before this not knowing his testimony. Even with out knowing his testimony, he struck me as such a gracious and thankful person! There was not a hint of bitterness toward God or an attitude that God owed him because of what he had suffered. God must really hate my whiny attitude about my life and how hard it is! It really put things in perspecitve, and I had to spend some time on my knees asking for forgiveness and wisdom to overcome my stinky attitude!
I went to a reception for a dear friend of mine who is turning 50. She is a powerful woman in Washington DC and works in Sudan, China and South Korea for the persecuted church. She is amazing! When I was at the reception I met a pastor from Eithiopia who now lives here in America. I was talking to my friend's husband on the way out, and he started telling me about this pastor. He was persecuted in Ethiopia for his faith. He has been jailed 21 times, he was hung upside down and poured boiling oil on him, one of the converts with him had his eyes couged (sp?)out. I just stood there. You read stories about people like that....and I have even heard Brother Yun (Heavenly Man) speak in person. But to be standing there in conversation with someone in your every day life who has suffered that kind of persecution made me stop and think! I had just heard this man pray 10 minutes before this not knowing his testimony. Even with out knowing his testimony, he struck me as such a gracious and thankful person! There was not a hint of bitterness toward God or an attitude that God owed him because of what he had suffered. God must really hate my whiny attitude about my life and how hard it is! It really put things in perspecitve, and I had to spend some time on my knees asking for forgiveness and wisdom to overcome my stinky attitude!
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