I am going on my second night of 4 hours of sleep. No sick kids! Thank you for health, God! Not really worried, just restless. God has placed a few things in John and my heart. In one of them, we kind of feel like Abraham...He has said GO! but we have no clue which direction to even GO! in, yet we know He wants us to take a step of faith before He reveals the entire plan. But we don't feel like we even know how or where to step so we stand with our foot poised in the air ready to move but just not quite sure where to plant our foot! (and for those wondering, NO! this has nothing to do with my Number 8 post! Hee!Hee!)
I sat last night with our budget, my calendar and some work papers laid out on the dining room table and just stared at them! A representation of three areas that need some major miracles from how I see it to work! I tell John all the time that there is a reason moms of large families do not work! It is a full time job, yet God has called me to this amazing ministry of Addy's Hope - and it is that, a ministry. In the 7 years since we opened the doors of Addy's Hope, it has not been in a place to provide a financial salary that matches the work I do. I would be fine with that, except the older the kids get, the more expensive they are and our finances are stretched to the max. It's hard not to look around and think, "If I put in the same hours there that I do at Addy's Hope, I would make ______!" I know my rewards for Addy's Hope are eternal, and I really can't put a value on that, but my local grocery store won't take that to pay for the groceries my kiddos eat!
There are a couple of opportunities that are before us. I have sought God. I have asked for scripture to back my answer....about the time I settle in on which direction I think I need to go, something happens or someone says something that makes me think I missed it. I am about to the point that I think God is saying, "you choose! Here is what path A will mean and here is what path B will mean, and I am really ok with either path. Just pick the one you want." Maybe that is the problem, I want the end result of both paths, but that is impossible!
Ugh! You ever been there? Despite how I feel this morning, I know some Truths! First, I have the mind of Christ! Therefore, the paths are not a mystery. It just means I have to get still before God, get in His Word and listen. I know He is not a God of confusion. He will bring peace when I have set my foot on the path of His will. Circumstances mean nothing. God is not a God of circumstance, He is a God of miracles! He parts the waters if a sea is in the way. He shuts the mouths of lions if obedience finds you in a lions' den. He even keeps not just the flames but the smell of smoke away from you if honoring Him lands you in a fiery furnace. And in reality, my situations that I am perplexed in are simply a matter of which blessing do I want to enter into! There is nothing bad happening. In fact, I have found joy unspeakable over the past few months! I have a renewed skip in my step. I have found the secret of hiding under the shelter of the wings of God almighty! And for that I am thankful!
So our life may be up in the air right now, but I know things will land soon. I know God will be faithful to complete that which He started and I know that as long as we continue to seek God with an open, willing heart, the end will exceed anything we could possibly hope or imagine no matter which path we end up planting our foot and heading down! Life with God is amazingly awesome! If you don't know Him, you are missing out! And if you know of Him but haven't encountered Him, take some time to be still with Him! He wants to reveal more of Himself to you! Go on a date with God! He is the greatest Love I have ever know!
Have a great Thursday! Be blessed!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Number 8
I really should be working, but this blog post has been trying to come out for a week now. Just haven't sat down to get it out...then friends post things like this:
As I came to the blog to type this, I saw my last post titled "Saying Yes"...well, there is a theme God seems to have me on...one I really thought I had gotten down...thought we had circled this mountain enough times I had learned my lesson...seven started adoptions, an adoption agency from the ground up, an orphanage in Liberia, an adoption ministry in Liberia, now a domestic program for waiting children, mom to seven, new church...haven't I learned to say yes? Haven't I learned to let God be God..Lord of my life? As long as there is any area unsurrendered to Him, then the answer is: No!
Ugh! Really, God?! Haven't I said yes to enough? I mean look at Sally Sue over there, she __________ (fill in the blank with whatever you think is "enough")! Ask her to do something why don't you? So for those of you who thought I had all this maturity, now you see the real me! :)
This has been just a few of my thoughts over the past few days as God has taken me back to a Sunday morning when Journey was just two weeks old. I was teaching an adoption class at our church and through a speaker on a video we were watching, God told me there was another one. Yes, another child. I went home and wrote it in my journal. I didn't tell anyone...not even John for weeks! This would for sure get me committed to the loony bin! He gave me what I believe are some outlines of who number 8 is. But as soon as He dropped the thought into my mind that we weren't done, I went to bargaining with Him! I love babies! So if we have to adopt again (yes, I meant "have to"...remember my attitude is the whole point of this post!), then I want a baby. I want to bond or attach or whatever the professionals want to call it with this baby from the beginning! I want to watch her grow up and protect her from whatever I couldn't have protected her from before she got to me even at a young age that caused her to need me to begin with! And since I am not getting any older, God, would you please send her now?! Except I don't really think I can handle a baby now, so maybe wait a year or so, but if you wait a year or so, then I am starting over again, and I am really ready to be done with bottles and diapers. So if we have to wait then maybe she should be older and maybe in about 10 years when I have recovered from the past two years?! Maybe send her now but make her the same age as Journey. Oh, yes, that would give me THREE toddlers, maybe I didn't mean that! Ok, well you can send me a baby or maybe a toddler...or maybe not, but if you are serious about this, something has to give! I need a housekeeper at least. My floors will never be swept again with just one more child. Or how will I feed her or clothe her or have the brain power to listen to her lovely stories about nothing like little girls love to tell? Better yet, God why don't I just tell you, I. Am. Done!
Silence
God?
Then finally...
You call me God. You cry out to me as Lord, but you tell me what you will do or not do when I tell you there is more? You give conditions to what you will accept as my call on your life despite the fact you know adoption is the reason I created you for this time here on earth? You can not call me LORD if there is even one area of your life that is not surrendered whole hearted to me...all of it!
Matthew 7:21 says it this way: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." I am not saying that my salvation is hinged on if I agree to adopt child number 8 or not, but it definitely says that simply calling Him Lord, doesn't make him Lord of my life! Surrender makes Him Lord of your life!
I have said many times recently as I come out of the fog of the past two years that I know God added the last three children quickly because if I had time to really contemplate how hard things were between any of them, I might not have said yes to all of them. I don't mean the children are hard, I mean life has been hard....learning how to juggle that many children, those mounds of laundry, finances for a family of 8, and on and on. I feel as if I am just now getting my head above the water I was drowning in to breath! And now God, you would ask me to add another one?
I am reminded of Jesus in the garden when He prayed and asked that this cup pass from Him. If Jesus who was fully man but also fully God asked for His entire reason for leaving heaven to come to earth to be taken away, I think God understands when I wrestle a bit through the things He may be asking me to do....but in the end of the wrestling, I have to be willing to say as Jesus did, "nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will!" (Matthew 26:39). I finally got to that place in worship this week! Lord, I have no idea how I would do that! I have no idea where another baby would fit into our lives, but I refuse to live my life with any area unsurrendered to you! Radical obedience is my desire for 2013...even if that includes number 8!
There may really never be a number 8, I am sure not actively pursuing that right now (Mom, if you are reading this, you can breath again!). Perhaps God is asking me to put my Isaac on the alter and will provide a ram instead of me sacrificing my "son" as He did for Abraham. (Genesis 22). I don't know for sure. But I do know anytime I have any area that I say to God...if this is the direction you are taking me, the answer is no, then I have an area that is unsurrendered! And as long as I have breath, I am determined to live completely and totally surrendered to the One to Whom I owe my life!
As I came to the blog to type this, I saw my last post titled "Saying Yes"...well, there is a theme God seems to have me on...one I really thought I had gotten down...thought we had circled this mountain enough times I had learned my lesson...seven started adoptions, an adoption agency from the ground up, an orphanage in Liberia, an adoption ministry in Liberia, now a domestic program for waiting children, mom to seven, new church...haven't I learned to say yes? Haven't I learned to let God be God..Lord of my life? As long as there is any area unsurrendered to Him, then the answer is: No!
Ugh! Really, God?! Haven't I said yes to enough? I mean look at Sally Sue over there, she __________ (fill in the blank with whatever you think is "enough")! Ask her to do something why don't you? So for those of you who thought I had all this maturity, now you see the real me! :)
This has been just a few of my thoughts over the past few days as God has taken me back to a Sunday morning when Journey was just two weeks old. I was teaching an adoption class at our church and through a speaker on a video we were watching, God told me there was another one. Yes, another child. I went home and wrote it in my journal. I didn't tell anyone...not even John for weeks! This would for sure get me committed to the loony bin! He gave me what I believe are some outlines of who number 8 is. But as soon as He dropped the thought into my mind that we weren't done, I went to bargaining with Him! I love babies! So if we have to adopt again (yes, I meant "have to"...remember my attitude is the whole point of this post!), then I want a baby. I want to bond or attach or whatever the professionals want to call it with this baby from the beginning! I want to watch her grow up and protect her from whatever I couldn't have protected her from before she got to me even at a young age that caused her to need me to begin with! And since I am not getting any older, God, would you please send her now?! Except I don't really think I can handle a baby now, so maybe wait a year or so, but if you wait a year or so, then I am starting over again, and I am really ready to be done with bottles and diapers. So if we have to wait then maybe she should be older and maybe in about 10 years when I have recovered from the past two years?! Maybe send her now but make her the same age as Journey. Oh, yes, that would give me THREE toddlers, maybe I didn't mean that! Ok, well you can send me a baby or maybe a toddler...or maybe not, but if you are serious about this, something has to give! I need a housekeeper at least. My floors will never be swept again with just one more child. Or how will I feed her or clothe her or have the brain power to listen to her lovely stories about nothing like little girls love to tell? Better yet, God why don't I just tell you, I. Am. Done!
Silence
God?
Then finally...
You call me God. You cry out to me as Lord, but you tell me what you will do or not do when I tell you there is more? You give conditions to what you will accept as my call on your life despite the fact you know adoption is the reason I created you for this time here on earth? You can not call me LORD if there is even one area of your life that is not surrendered whole hearted to me...all of it!
Matthew 7:21 says it this way: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." I am not saying that my salvation is hinged on if I agree to adopt child number 8 or not, but it definitely says that simply calling Him Lord, doesn't make him Lord of my life! Surrender makes Him Lord of your life!
I have said many times recently as I come out of the fog of the past two years that I know God added the last three children quickly because if I had time to really contemplate how hard things were between any of them, I might not have said yes to all of them. I don't mean the children are hard, I mean life has been hard....learning how to juggle that many children, those mounds of laundry, finances for a family of 8, and on and on. I feel as if I am just now getting my head above the water I was drowning in to breath! And now God, you would ask me to add another one?
I am reminded of Jesus in the garden when He prayed and asked that this cup pass from Him. If Jesus who was fully man but also fully God asked for His entire reason for leaving heaven to come to earth to be taken away, I think God understands when I wrestle a bit through the things He may be asking me to do....but in the end of the wrestling, I have to be willing to say as Jesus did, "nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will!" (Matthew 26:39). I finally got to that place in worship this week! Lord, I have no idea how I would do that! I have no idea where another baby would fit into our lives, but I refuse to live my life with any area unsurrendered to you! Radical obedience is my desire for 2013...even if that includes number 8!
There may really never be a number 8, I am sure not actively pursuing that right now (Mom, if you are reading this, you can breath again!). Perhaps God is asking me to put my Isaac on the alter and will provide a ram instead of me sacrificing my "son" as He did for Abraham. (Genesis 22). I don't know for sure. But I do know anytime I have any area that I say to God...if this is the direction you are taking me, the answer is no, then I have an area that is unsurrendered! And as long as I have breath, I am determined to live completely and totally surrendered to the One to Whom I owe my life!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Saying Yes
I really should be getting on the road as I return home to my family today, but I know the opportunity to share my experience this weekend and most recently this morning will escape me once the business of life takes over. And I hope this story will encourage any of you who may be standing on the edge of a call and are trying to decide if you want to take that step of faith or turn around and run a different direction.
I came to our friends house this weekend to write the book on spiritual warfare in adoption. When I left home Friday, there was really no question of "if" I would write it. God has told me to, and my very act of making the time and arrangements and getting away this weekend was out of obedience to what God told me to do. Period.
But once I started writing, the reason for the location so far from home and the time away became clear! I spent most of yesterday in tears. As I would write, the voices would taunt me with how controversial this topic will be. I thought back to my years working in Liberia where I stood for ethics and would not pay bribes or work in shady ways to bring children home. My reputation, my character, my ministry, my family, my sanity...it was all drug through the mud in that season of life. Not exactly a place I want to return. This past season has been a difficult one, but at lease it was a private season of refining. We got to pick and choose who was in the know about our battles. Liberia was not just out there, but even in the media at one point! The flashbacks made me reconsider writing the book. I found myself deleting entire lines and trying to rewrite them in a more politically correct or potentially less controversial way.
For a few hours, I really couldn't figure out what was happening. At first I thought it was just the emotion of reliving part of the past few years, but I really didn't think that was eliciting the emotions I was feeling. I wondered if this is what they call "writer's block". But I finally realized what this weekend was about! Yes, I was able to make progress on the book. I have written parts of five different chapters and over 6,000 words this weekend. But this was not just about writing, it was about solidifying my acceptance of the task God has asked me to complete. It was about God seeking an answer from me about the task and me accepting the task knowing exactly what it could mean. It was me saying YES in spite of all that could be on the path. Ironically, it was me doing with this book what I am writing about families doing in their adoption journey! Gotta love God's sense of humor!
At one point, Saturday afternoon, I started to delete all I had written and go home. I was done and didn't want to continue writing or even consider making a finished product that would be published for others to read and scrutinize. But on the way up here, I listened to a podcast about Christian writing. One of the things that the podcast talked about was the reason for you to write. One of those reasons was to change the world. Now, I don't think my book will change the world, but my motivation for writing is that adoptive families need this information and it is not out there right now.
I have amazing prayer warriors as friends. Twice on Saturday when I didn't think I could continue, I received text messages at just the right time encouraging me in what I am doing. Those friends were the voices that silenced the other voices telling me to quit.
This morning I went for a walk. This is the path I was walking on
I love going for walks as I walk and talk to God. Not usually out loud but sometimes I even talk out loud! I have always been able to hear God better and just feel closer to Him out in nature. But this path wasn't all that inspiring, honestly. Then I turned a corner and looked up....
This is what I saw! It was as if God said, "walk into my sanctuary and sit a minute!" I walked under that tree into the grassy area just past the fence and a cool breeze blew as if the breath of God had just blown over me. I probably should have removed my sneakers. That was how holy this ground felt as I walked into it! I looked up and there was this rock - and God said, "Sit awhile."
I looked up and this was my view - the cool breeze still hanging around me.
I don't know that I have ever felt the tangible presence of God in my life as I did in that moment. I wasn't sure what to do. Talking didn't seem appropriate. I was afraid if I just sat, my mind would wonder and I would lose the moment. So I did what I thought I should do in the presence of God, I wanted to sing a praise song. I started to sing and the song that came to mind was from way back ...O God, You are my God, and I will ever praise you! O God You are my God and I will ever praise You! I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways..O God you are my God and I will ever praise You! As I sang, God brought to mind the thoughts I had faced this weekend about the book. He told me to look at the covering of the trees in this place, to feel the cool air. This path is learning to walk in His ways. I know God gave me this moment to cling to if battles come over the content of the book. He reminded me that He promises to be my protector, that He hides me in the shadow of His wings just like I was hidden in this place in the middle of dead grass and cleared land for new construction. He reminded me that just last night John called me to tell me about a letter we received in the mail that ended a month long battle over a totally different issue but that had the potential to completely alter my life. But God has promised me on that journey to be my protector and defender as well. The timing of that letter is not lost on me. He reminded me that when I get still, He will meet me. He reminded me that obedience rarely happens without sacrifice on some level. He asked me for a commitment to see this project through but reminded me with my commitment to see it through came His promise to never leave me or forsake me.
We serve a faithful, personal God! I don't know what if any trials will come because of this book. I know I now have specific prays for my prayer warriors about not just my writing of this book but about the reception of and the impact on the audience I am writing for. But God so tenderly reminded me this morning that the outcome of the book is His to determine. It's His job! My job is simply to write the book in obedience. My job is to say Yes to His call!
I came to our friends house this weekend to write the book on spiritual warfare in adoption. When I left home Friday, there was really no question of "if" I would write it. God has told me to, and my very act of making the time and arrangements and getting away this weekend was out of obedience to what God told me to do. Period.
But once I started writing, the reason for the location so far from home and the time away became clear! I spent most of yesterday in tears. As I would write, the voices would taunt me with how controversial this topic will be. I thought back to my years working in Liberia where I stood for ethics and would not pay bribes or work in shady ways to bring children home. My reputation, my character, my ministry, my family, my sanity...it was all drug through the mud in that season of life. Not exactly a place I want to return. This past season has been a difficult one, but at lease it was a private season of refining. We got to pick and choose who was in the know about our battles. Liberia was not just out there, but even in the media at one point! The flashbacks made me reconsider writing the book. I found myself deleting entire lines and trying to rewrite them in a more politically correct or potentially less controversial way.
For a few hours, I really couldn't figure out what was happening. At first I thought it was just the emotion of reliving part of the past few years, but I really didn't think that was eliciting the emotions I was feeling. I wondered if this is what they call "writer's block". But I finally realized what this weekend was about! Yes, I was able to make progress on the book. I have written parts of five different chapters and over 6,000 words this weekend. But this was not just about writing, it was about solidifying my acceptance of the task God has asked me to complete. It was about God seeking an answer from me about the task and me accepting the task knowing exactly what it could mean. It was me saying YES in spite of all that could be on the path. Ironically, it was me doing with this book what I am writing about families doing in their adoption journey! Gotta love God's sense of humor!
At one point, Saturday afternoon, I started to delete all I had written and go home. I was done and didn't want to continue writing or even consider making a finished product that would be published for others to read and scrutinize. But on the way up here, I listened to a podcast about Christian writing. One of the things that the podcast talked about was the reason for you to write. One of those reasons was to change the world. Now, I don't think my book will change the world, but my motivation for writing is that adoptive families need this information and it is not out there right now.
I have amazing prayer warriors as friends. Twice on Saturday when I didn't think I could continue, I received text messages at just the right time encouraging me in what I am doing. Those friends were the voices that silenced the other voices telling me to quit.
This morning I went for a walk. This is the path I was walking on
I don't know that I have ever felt the tangible presence of God in my life as I did in that moment. I wasn't sure what to do. Talking didn't seem appropriate. I was afraid if I just sat, my mind would wonder and I would lose the moment. So I did what I thought I should do in the presence of God, I wanted to sing a praise song. I started to sing and the song that came to mind was from way back ...O God, You are my God, and I will ever praise you! O God You are my God and I will ever praise You! I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways..O God you are my God and I will ever praise You! As I sang, God brought to mind the thoughts I had faced this weekend about the book. He told me to look at the covering of the trees in this place, to feel the cool air. This path is learning to walk in His ways. I know God gave me this moment to cling to if battles come over the content of the book. He reminded me that He promises to be my protector, that He hides me in the shadow of His wings just like I was hidden in this place in the middle of dead grass and cleared land for new construction. He reminded me that just last night John called me to tell me about a letter we received in the mail that ended a month long battle over a totally different issue but that had the potential to completely alter my life. But God has promised me on that journey to be my protector and defender as well. The timing of that letter is not lost on me. He reminded me that when I get still, He will meet me. He reminded me that obedience rarely happens without sacrifice on some level. He asked me for a commitment to see this project through but reminded me with my commitment to see it through came His promise to never leave me or forsake me.
We serve a faithful, personal God! I don't know what if any trials will come because of this book. I know I now have specific prays for my prayer warriors about not just my writing of this book but about the reception of and the impact on the audience I am writing for. But God so tenderly reminded me this morning that the outcome of the book is His to determine. It's His job! My job is simply to write the book in obedience. My job is to say Yes to His call!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Is it worth the wedge?
So I am away from the family for the weekend! Not just a fun trip, although anytime my husband graciously takes over the healm and allows me to get away, it's fun...and relaxing...and a blessing! However, this is a trip with a mission! I am picking up writing the book I started earlier this year on the spiritual battle of adoption. I am in an amazing home thanks to our friends Susan and Arnold Nall who have an empty house this weekend! At this moment I am sitting on a fabulour orange "couch" - pretty sure that is NOT what you call it - while I type away. I feel so pampered!
I had a five hour drive to get here. That means five quiet, nobody screaming "mommy!", no fighting, no needs hours! I had my phone loaded with praise music and podcasts! It was a little piece of heaven on earth!
As I drove and worshiped and prayed, God brought up a sin that I have struggled with for years. I am a sinner, I know that full well! I don't want this to come off like this is my "only" sin. I know that I sin every day, but as a mature believer, I should not have deliberate sin. Meaning, I shouldn't start to do something, hear the voice of God tell me not to do it, or just know already it is wrong, and do it anyway. That is what I call deliberate, or willful sin. This sin that God brought to mind was a willful sin. But God didn't bring it up to condemn (there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1). He brought it up to make me aware that the struggle over that sin is gone. It is a sin that was a stronghold. I had received deliverance before from the stronghold that resulted in this sin. But I slipped back into the sin....lots of reasons why that I am not going to go into here. But what God revealed to me today is that the sin is no longer a struggle becuase I know that when I took part in that action, it caused a separation between me and God (2 Corinthians 11:3, But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ). Not a separation where I lost my salvation! I don't earn my salvation, I can't lose it by sinning. Goodness, then we all would lose our salvation every day! That's not the separation I mean. It's a loss of intimacy with God. When John and I have a fight over something, there is a wedge between us. We are still married, but the conflict between us makes it difficult to express our feelings to each other. All analogies break down on some level, and I know God's love for us is constant and never changing, but when I am taking part in willful sin, I cannot have a sincere and pure devotion to Christ thus preventing the level of intimacy I can enjoy when I am walking in the light and not participting in deliberate sin! God showed me that the reason my struggle over this sin is gone is becuase the level of intimacy I have with God in this season of my life is not worth risking for the temporary gratification of the sin!
Now, you may be going, "duh?!" But here was the kicker for me. I realized in that moment that obvilously my relationship with God, from my perspective, before was worth sacrificing for the immediate gratification of the sin.
It left me with this very interesting question: If we are not affected by the wedge sin puts between us and God, then is our relationship with God as intimate as we might think it is?
Just some food for thought.....
I had a five hour drive to get here. That means five quiet, nobody screaming "mommy!", no fighting, no needs hours! I had my phone loaded with praise music and podcasts! It was a little piece of heaven on earth!
As I drove and worshiped and prayed, God brought up a sin that I have struggled with for years. I am a sinner, I know that full well! I don't want this to come off like this is my "only" sin. I know that I sin every day, but as a mature believer, I should not have deliberate sin. Meaning, I shouldn't start to do something, hear the voice of God tell me not to do it, or just know already it is wrong, and do it anyway. That is what I call deliberate, or willful sin. This sin that God brought to mind was a willful sin. But God didn't bring it up to condemn (there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1). He brought it up to make me aware that the struggle over that sin is gone. It is a sin that was a stronghold. I had received deliverance before from the stronghold that resulted in this sin. But I slipped back into the sin....lots of reasons why that I am not going to go into here. But what God revealed to me today is that the sin is no longer a struggle becuase I know that when I took part in that action, it caused a separation between me and God (2 Corinthians 11:3, But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ). Not a separation where I lost my salvation! I don't earn my salvation, I can't lose it by sinning. Goodness, then we all would lose our salvation every day! That's not the separation I mean. It's a loss of intimacy with God. When John and I have a fight over something, there is a wedge between us. We are still married, but the conflict between us makes it difficult to express our feelings to each other. All analogies break down on some level, and I know God's love for us is constant and never changing, but when I am taking part in willful sin, I cannot have a sincere and pure devotion to Christ thus preventing the level of intimacy I can enjoy when I am walking in the light and not participting in deliberate sin! God showed me that the reason my struggle over this sin is gone is becuase the level of intimacy I have with God in this season of my life is not worth risking for the temporary gratification of the sin!
Now, you may be going, "duh?!" But here was the kicker for me. I realized in that moment that obvilously my relationship with God, from my perspective, before was worth sacrificing for the immediate gratification of the sin.
It left me with this very interesting question: If we are not affected by the wedge sin puts between us and God, then is our relationship with God as intimate as we might think it is?
Just some food for thought.....
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