Trusting Obedience

Sunday during church, our pastor took us to Hebrews 5:7-8. I have started using my app on my phone for my Bible during church. It was set to The Message version. So when I looked up this scripture, this is what it said, " Though he was God's Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do." Wow! God's own son had to suffer (this was talking about when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane for any other way to save us than for Him to go to the cross) in order to learn fully, trusting obedience! And then it goes on to say, we learn the same way! It was one of those times that you know God has just spoken directly to your heart over a struggle you have had for a LONG time! It is the answer to the past seven years! It is the answer to Eden not coming home, it is the answer to Liberia, it is the answer to a pregnant teen daughter. Through all these "sufferings" I have learned to trust God more (it may have taken me a few years to get there at times) and I have learned obedience...and when you put trusting obedience together, it means I have learned to obey when the picture doesn't look all warm and cozy as a result of that obedience.

Then this morning as I continue to meditate on this and what it means for my life, God encouraged me again with verse 9 in the NASB, "and having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation." Because Jesus obeyed and went to the cross, he was made perfect - equipped - to be the eternal salvation God needed Him to be - that I needed Him to be! God reminded me that if I don't mature and grow, I will not be equipped for the work He has for me...and that will affect not only me but all those around me now and all those in my future that God intends for me to impact with my gifts and abilities...and the same is true for you!

I haven't blogged a lot about the Paizley's pregnancy because for one, I don't have much time to blog these days, but for another, my thoughts usually aren't bog worthy! I'm still sorting through all the emotions and flesh. But I have my God moments where I handle it in a mature way. And those moments are becoming more frequent...Praise God! Paizley and I had one of those moments this past week. We were both crying over what the pregnancy means for her...mourning the things that she has lost because of it. But even in our weeping and mourning, God gave me a realization and I shared it with Paizley. God spoke to John just a few days after we found out she was pregnant and told him that this baby would save her life. At the time my thought was, "it may save hers, but its gonna kill me!" Nice, warm cozy thought for a mom, huh?! Paizley was in a place before the pregnancy where she really wasn't open to a lot of things we were telling her. Much like many teens, but with her past, it magnified a lot of the "normal" teen struggles. The pregnancy has saved her life in a very real way. It has made her more open to the things we were trying to tell her about life. So as hard as this pregnancy is, I am thankful. And these scriptures sums up why I am thankful! I am thankful because I would rather be holding my pregnant teen daughter wondering how we will make it through this than waking up every morning not knowing where my daughter is and wondering if she is safe or lonely or hungry.

For me, this is trusting obedience, the kind that will equip me for the things God has ahead for me. It was trusting obedience that let me say yes to adopting a teen to begin with. And it is TRUSTING obedience that says we heard God correctly when we said yes to that adoption even thought the road is hard and not what we expected!

It is trusting obedience for Paizley that will get her through this tough time as well. It is teaching her to rely on God in ways she never had to before.

And it is trusting obedience that allows me to now thank God for this pregnancy (1 Thessalonians 5:18 - give thanks in all circumstances). If this is what it takes to mature Paizley in Christ...and me too!...then I will give thanks and I will continue to trust that God is using this to grow and equip us for the days to come...because one thing I know from the days past, I want to be equipped for what is to come!