I am one of "THEM"!

I haven't been much of a blogger lately.  It has not been for lack of material to blog, just lack of time to blog it.  But I am hoping to change that.

The last two years have been quite the season.  I don't think I would go so far as to call it a dark night of the soul, but to say it has been a season of pruning and stretching doesn't quite pay homage to the depth of work God has done in my life.  I hope you will see in the posts to come that God has radically change my life through the course of these past 18-24 months.

This quote by Bill Johnson in When Heaven Invades Earth probably best sums up my journey: "It's important to understand God's promise and purpose for the Church so that we might become dissatisfied - so that we will become desperate. Intercession from insatiable hunger moves the heart of God as nothing else can." Over the past 15 years, God has taken me to places that I was quite sure I was at the end of myself.  However, if those places were the end of myself, then this past season left myself in the dust and took me to the end of a place I didn't even know existed!  But in that place I became desperate for God in a way I have never been.  And God was true to His word: when we seek Him we will find Him!

So often in this past season I found myself desperately clinging to the promises of the Bible while trying to line up my circumstances and reality with what the scriptures said.  To put it bluntly, they didn't mesh!  So my search began for why they didn't!  What I found has changed me forever.  What I found showed me that while I survived this season, I lived most days in defeat with bloody wounds where I had allowed the enemy access he should have never had.  I did the best I could with that I knew then.  I have some regrets, but I have no condemnation or "I shoulda's" because I truly lived this season on my face begging for wisdom, direction, mercy and grace.  There are a few things I can look back on and wish I had handled a different way, but I also remember the despair and weariness of those times....words that demonstrate even more the defeat I lived in many days.

I am walking out of this season with revelations about God - not head knowledge about who God is said to be, but heart experience about who He is to me!  There is a difference!  We have a new kitchen which is a blog post for another time...part of that remodel is an amazing pantry, and on that pantry floor is Psalm:8, "Taste and see that the Lord is good." I don't know that I purposely set out to "taste" in this season, but walking out of it, I can testify that I have tasted, and indeed the Lord is good!   Yes, my family was turned upside down and inside out.  Yes, my ministry and calling on my life has been tested and attacked.  Yes, I have a daughter who is not a part of my life right now.  Yes, I have a grand baby who has no idea who MiMi is.  Yes, I have another grand baby coming into this world in June who I may or may not get to hold in my arms.  Yes, my identity has been turned upside down as defined by stay-at-home mom.  But there is not a path that I have walked the past months that I would not walk again.  Could I head down some of the paths if I knew what they would hold, no.  That is why it's called faith! If it was sight, I would surely have turned around or fainted from fear at what was coming up.  Do I wish some of the paths had taken different turns, absolutely!  But the paths on this journey have brought me to a place of desperation for intimacy with God like no other time in my life.  And for that, I am eternally thankful!

It will take awhile for me to get it all out here, but I will write as God leads.  It's part of my instruction for 2013 - share what God has taught me and walk in obedience!  But what you  need to know about me is now I am one of "them"!  I have been radically touched by a living God.  I have experienced His presence like never before in my life...and once you have experienced Him, there is no turning back!  Holy Roller, Charismatic, Jesus Freak, Radical, Weird, Over the top, what ever the title used to describe one who is totally and completely sold out to Jesus with no box to keep Him in and only the expectation of new revelation and a desire to bring honor and glory to God like never before, well that's me.  We have a saying at our house right now, "The weirder, the better!" - not for "weird" sake, but for the purpose of experiencing God in life changing ways that allow us to then touch others in life changing ways.  

Before you right me off and quit reading because I have left theology for "feelings", let me leave you with a couple of thoughts that when put together should challenge any American Christian - "Unless I do the works of the Father, do not believe me." John 10:37 NKJV And in the words of Bill Johnson, "Jesus gave people the right to disbelieve it all if there was no demonstration of power upon His ministry.  I hunger for the day when the Church will make the same statement to the world. If we're not doing the miracles that Jesus did, you don't have to believe us." And before you discount him, let me leave you with this final word - "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these he will do, because I am going to the Father." John 14:12

Challenge: based on this standard, who would believe you?  And if you are not using this standard, why not?  

Check back!  Let me share where I was....it was a long trip to this place!  Don't discount it yet.  Hear me out.  All of us who have accepted Christ as our Savior have the authority and power to walk each day in victory here on earth....we don't have to wait until we die and go to heave...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven! And that's my prayer for each of you!

They Wait Wednesday

I am starting back up with They Wait Wednesday!  Now I can actually place these children in adoptive homes through Addy's Hope!  We are contracted with the state and ready to empty the Texas Foster system of children waiting to be adopted!

This week, I am featuring Tynavin, "Ty"!  He is a precious 8 year old little boy with a contagious smile!  You can read more about him here.  Email me at hollyann@addyshope.com if you want information on how to adopt Ty or any of the other 6,000 kids waiting in the Texas foster system!  They need you!