Blessings of a Large Family

I am writing reports today for adoptions.  The writing of reports is not my favorite thing I do in my job...and when I am writing for court and have to report all that brought a child into care to begin with, it gets a bit heavy.  So I am taking a break and sharing some reflections on my larger-than-normal family built in some part because others before me wrote such reports!

Let me start with a confession: mothering 9 children can be overwhelming.  Shocker, I know! The laundry never ends. I have to use breathing exercises while I wait for the total at Sam's reminding myself the entire time that God is my provider and He promises we will not go hungry (and we have NEVER gone hungry!).  Sometimes by 5:00, my brain literally hurts from concentrating on conversations with children from 2 to 14 many of which have the word "um" in them 1,895 times.  I have usually changed 4 poopy diapers by 10 am. I could go on, but you get the picture.  I am not always thankful for my blessings, aka: children.

But then there are days like this.  It started out as an escape from insanity! Since we have moved and I work from home, I rarely leave my four walls except to grocery shop, transport kids to/from school and go to church.  That's it.  On this day, I was going a little crazy, so I had the bright idea of loading the youngest four into the wagon and taking a walk to pick up the elementary school kids from school.

It was a great idea....for about 1/2 a mile.  Then I remembered why I had never done this before. We finally made it...even if we were a few minutes late.  But it was on the way home that the reminder came....

I look up to see this! I had not asked her to hold his hand.  She has offered it to him!  He didn't have to be forced to hold her hand. He took it willingly! Because of our family size, our bigger kids have to do things their friends do not...and a lot of times that involves a younger sibling! And in all the grumbling and complaining that sometimes accompanies those tasks, a bond forms that results in moments like this! He offered to pull the wagon.  He waited patiently about 28 times while one child or another decided they wanted to switch from walker to rider and back again.

And these are the moments that make my heart sing and remind my why having a large family truly is a BLESSING! 

And when I look at this grin, well, even the fact that I am starting over....again...at 40....is a BLESSING!  And just in case your wondering, a certain almost one year old who wants to climb out of the wagon, will be content to ride in the cargo hole of said wagon...and will even play peek-a-boo over the cargo hole door! 

A Quiver Full

Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
    are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
    whose quiver is full of them. ~Psalm 127: 3-5

As a girl who always knew she wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother, this scripture always intrigued me!  I got the "children are a heritage from the Lord, a reward from him" part...but arrows in the hands of a warrior...and a quiver full?  What is that all about?  Can I be honest and say that I truly had no idea until just a couple of years ago!  I am sure there are amazing teachings out there on this scripture that would have led me out of my ignorance long before now...but I never heard them.  

It wasn't until I started watching my own children worship God, watching them develop their own relationship with God that I began to understand.  It has been through watching my children grow in their own giftings that the light bulb went on...like arrows in the hands of a warrior....you see, my children are not mine.  My children born of my body and my children born of my heart, none of them are mine.  They are God's.  They are His children that He has entrusted me to nurture and train for His Kingdom.  I learned that lesson early in my mothering as I grieved the death of our baby we never got to hold!  I learned through that sorrow that my children were given by God.  They all have a kingdom purpose.  My job as a mother is to guide them into that purpose.  

I have failed miserably on most days.  There are so many ways that I could have done a better job with that.  But as my children become older, and I begin to see the Kingdom purposes unfolding in their lives, I know why God describes them as arrows in the hands of warriors.  It is because we as "warriors" are training them up, lining them up with their "target" and then we "shoot them out" into the world to complete the Kingdom purpose God has had for them since the beginning of time!  

I was reminded of that again today as we were worshiping in service this morning.  The church we go to right now does not open their childcare until about 15 minutes into the service.  We have just recently started attending this church, and I can honestly say this one fact alone nearly made me run screaming from this one! I have asked God more than once, "Are you sure this is it?", just based on this one issue. (Yes, I attend church functions for childcare...well, maybe not really, but it is a plus!) But today, I decided maybe it's not such a bad thing.  I was holding Peighton as the worship service started.  I open my eyes to see her with her hands lifted as high as she can get them!  I look around to see who she is mimicking, not a person in my range of sight has their hands raised.  But it didn't stop there!  Off and on through the first song, she would clap and raise her hands.  Then they started singing a song that talks about the Holy Spirit as a fire that burns deep inside of us, and they say "burn" over and over.  With paci in mouth, she starts almost yelling, "BURN! BURN! BURN!"  I had goosebumps all over me!  Then she starts moving her hand in an outward motion in front of her in very deliberate, strong motions.  And I knew....I have another arrow that I am to equip, mold, nurture, train and grow up while she is in my quiver so that at the right time, I can send her out into the world, ready and able to hit her target in God's Kingdom!  I have no idea what that target is right now, but I know from what I saw today and what God spoke into my spirit that this little girl is mine because God has a specific plan and purpose for her, and He needs me to equip her for it...as is the case for all 7 other arrows still in my quiver!

I can't explain the events of the last three years.  I don't know why so many things had to happen that happened!  I would have written this story so much differently, and in my story, I would not be raising these two babies that are supposed to call me Mimi and not Mommy.  But this I know.  God has brought 9 children into our lives.  He brought them here to be trained as warriors in His Kingdom.  There will come a time when they will have to choose for themselves whether or not they want to fulfill the plans that God has for them or whether they want to walk away. As much as I wish I could choose for them.  I can't.  But I can speak Truth over and to them.  I can pray God's Word over them while they sleep, as they wake and when we go about our day.  I can do battle for and with them when the storms seem to be taking them over.  And at the right time, I can let them go, shot out from our "bow" and watch them as they minister to a lost and lonely world who desperately needs to know the Savior that they know! 

"Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them......."