The Journey: Final Hearing

Today is the final hearing for Baby Girl. Today should be the day that we know she will be ours forever. I say "should be" because you never know how these things are truly going to go. If I've learned anything from this journey with CPS, it's to never assume anything!

Last week we received a text message from Baby Girl's biological mother saying that Baby Girl would be ours forever because she was going to sign papers to terminate her rights. I didn't jump up and down like you might think. I didn't for two reasons. First, she has said she would do that before and then backed out. So until the papers are signed, I'm not getting overly confident that they will be signed. Second, even though it means the little girl who I love as my daughter will remain with me forever, it also means that a mother who carried this baby in her womb for 9 months is having to let go forever. Regardless of the circumstances, that makes me sad. It makes me sad that we live in a fallen world where parents are not always able or willing, whatever the case may be, to care for their biological children.

We have known about this court date for weeks, months really. After our last court, CPS told us they could possibly change the plan to reunification which you understand raised many alarms. I made some phone calls and was assured that all would go well and Baby Girl would remain with us. But now, the day before court, people who are key witnesses for the case still haven't received their letters to be at court. Baby Girl's attorney, who is better than most as he actually did a home visit yesterday, wasn't familiar enough with the facts of the case to really discuss the possible outcomes with us when he was here yesterday. So while I'm really not nervous about our case because God has given me confidence for months that Baby Girl would be ours in the end, I am very frustrated and border line angry that people who hold the future of a child in their hands really aren't concerned with the details that could determine where this child grows up for life! I can't help but think these children deserve better! But how do we make "better" happen?

This morning I am praying and trusting that God will have the people there who need to be there. Praying that He will give me the words I need to say when I am on the stand. I'm not excited about that part at all! This is when having a relationship with the biological family is so hard. I don't want to talk bad about her biological mother even if it is true. I don't want to damage a relationship we might have with her. There is another baby on the way. What if we could help in some way to inspire her to make permanent changes that would allow this baby to stay with her? Could what I say this morning damage that? Wasn't really thrilled that he said he would put me on the stand, but on the other hand, will do anything for my children!

This has been a trust journey from the beginning and will be to the end! So here we go! Trusting and obeying...seems to be my motto these days!