One year ago today

Our first ever mother/daughter picture!

One year ago today, Paizley came to live with us....forever. This year has been one of the hardest of my life. I just finished "Wait No More" a book by a family who adopted from CPS and she now works for Focus on the Family in CO. There is a quote in there that goes something like adopting teenagers is like pouring gasoline on the fire of your own sins. I can testify to that! While we have had our struggles trying to mesh our two worlds and become a family, the majority of my hard times this year have been seeing my own flaws and struggles magnified and having to deal with them.

We still have our things to work through. Some of them pretty major. But as I sat and talked to Paizley today, I shared that even with all the heartache and struggles of the past year, I would do it again. She wanted to know why and through my own tears I told her because she is worth it. I watched as the tears fell from her eyes as she heard me say that she needed a mother and God wanted me to be in that role for her. And just on that fact alone, it is all worth it and I would do it all again. If someone had said to me, this is exactly what the next year will bring and this is how you will feel and these are the trials this decision will bring, I would not have said yes! But that is why it's called faith! And that is why I am thankful God calls us to what I've come to refer to as blind obedience! I was as educated on the issues of adopting an older child from CPS as anyone can be, but nothing could have prepared me for this past year. But God has carried me through it and I have learned more about Him in the past year than any other year of my life!

So on this eve of Thanksgiving, I am thankful that one year ago today I didn't know what the year in front of me would hold and I opened my door and my heart to an amazing young woman who needed a mother and a father and brothers and sisters...and even more than all that, she needed to know He Savior in an intimate way. I am thankful that God has allowed us to walk this journey. And I am trusting Him with the year we are entering now!