Our mortgage company has been a NIGHTMARE, and that is putting it nicely. We have been asking for numbers, you know the approximate amount needed at closing and estimated monthly payment that you usually get, since we started the loan process back in May! We didn't get any numbers until last week.
I had to stop by John's office to pick up something I needed to take with me while headed back to West Texas with a car full of teenagers! I was taking them to Rock the Desert, and I was headed back to have a training session for new adoptive parents. When I stopped at John's office, he shared with me what he had learned that morning. We were going to be several thousand dollars short at closing. We both wrestled with fear and anxiety - and if we are honest some serious rage at not having the numbers when we asked so we could be making a plan - over closing being 7 days away, and getting this news. This is when you know you have been around a mountain enough times that you really GET a Truth - when a circumstance comes, you actually react in the Truth rather than reacting to the circumstance and then having to remind yourself of the Truth! My heart didn't race, I didn't get sweaty palms, the pit started to form in my stomach, but immediately disappeared with the thought, "God has not brought us this far to leave us. He promises to never leave or forsake us. He has made clear this is the path we are to walk. Somehow, it will work." As I drove all morning and afternoon, the enemy taunted me with all kinds of thoughts, but immediately, I would remind myself and the enemy of God's faithfulness and all the promises He had given about this move. I still had NO IDEA how this was going to work, but I would simply roll it back on God and thank Him for His provision...however it came!
Well, before the day was over, I was handed a check for a few hundred dollars over what we needed for closing! When I looked at the check, I asked the generous giver if John had talked to them or something? I was very confused. They responded just as confused with a no - they had been blessed this year and wanted to bless us! I broke into the ugly cry! Not just because of the generosity of these individuals, but the fact that their gift was the provision God already knew was on the way!!!! They even shared how they were going to give it to us at a different time, but decided to give it to me that day!
Y'all, I have seen God's faithfulness over and over in my life! I mean we fed 65 children in an orphanage for over a year with no sustainable income from the program! I "get" miraculous provision....but I have never had the "here is the check" experience! I have heard the stories of God providing mysterious checks in the mail for the needed amount for other people, but I had never experienced that. It was so surreal! As I kept staring at the check, I was reminded also that when God provides, it is more than we could hope or imagine! That number that had looked so big and insurmountable a few hours ago, was now provided for plus more!
Here is what I hope encourages those reading who also need provision, God is no respecter of persons - what he does for one, he does for anyone. I have been the one reading stories like this and thinking, "yes, you did it for them, but not me." So if that was your thought while reading, let me tell you, He has a provision for you also! What I know is that on this journey, we have walked unwavering in our trust and faith like we have never done before! I have to believe that has something to do with the way God has provided. We have truly trusted - not being tossed about or double minded. I can tell you that is not usually how I walk these journeys! I usually go back and forth between trust and despair in these situations in 0-60 seconds!
There are things still trying to rob our joy and shake our confidence in this move - like closing maybe being postponed because our loan won't be ready....but God has been so faithful and provided amazing sellers for us to work with that answers come just almost immediately to the barriers! This has truly been a spiritual journey that will forever be a stone of remembrance in my spiritual life! I don't want to go back to that double minded person! And I want to encourage you if you are on the fence, God is trustworthy! Take the leap! Free fall into His plan....you will not regret it!
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