As I see 2016 come to a close, I have felt more and more bitterness and regret creep in. I don't really like either one of those emotions...and I am pretty sure that they are not part of my heavenly nature! So that means I need to do a check and see where they are coming from!
If I am honest, they have been hanging around the better part of this year. I don't know if it is getting older, realizing I have probably entered the last half of my life, or whether it is just weariness from a life lived on full blast without the self care I should have done. But whatever the reason behind it, I have had to do some reflecting to see how to get rid of it!
As I looked for the root of my bitterness and regret, every root led back to a tree that grew from a "yes" I had said to God. There are yeses in my personal life, professional life, married life, spiritual life, mom life...all kinds of parts of my life that if I had not said "yes" I would have missed out on some pain and frankly just some hard stuff! Stuff that has felt like it has taken the literal life out of me!
But I believe the Bible! I believe the Truths in it. So when my feelers don't align with what I know to be Truth, then it's time to find out why and get the feelers back in line with the Truth!
It was sitting by the Christmas tree one morning when the house was quiet that I had to come face to face with the Truth of where my bitterness and regrets were coming from. I was contemplating the "yes" that Jesus gave when he left heaven to come to earth. I was overcome with gratefulness as I reflected on ALL Jesus gave up and the pain and agony he suffered simply because He had a desire to save me...and you.
"I haven't come from heaven to do what I want to do. I've come to do what the one who sent me wants me to do." John 6:38
Wow! So as someone who calls themselves a Christ Follower, I did not accept Jesus as Lord to do what I want to do, but to do what He who saved me wants me to do! My yeses are NOTHING compared to the Yes Jesus gave! I have lost nothing compared to what He lost! When looking from that perspective, regret and bitterness have no place! So why were they still lurking around causing me heartache and frustration? I wanted to rebuke the devil and make him flee....but as I sat meditating on the Truth of Jesus' yes and my regrets, I realized that there was no devil here to rebuke. I was looking my flesh right in the eyes! I had got caught up in the "what could have been" had I not agreed to take the hard road! I wasn't comparing to anyone in particular, but was comparing in a general sense to what other's lives appear to be who don't have as many children, aren't married, don't work outside the home, etc, etc.....My flesh was crying out for an easier road. Then when realizing I was too far down all the paths to turn around, my flesh responded with regret and bitterness. There were times I am sure the enemy added his lies to my reflections to feed the fire my flesh started, but at the start of what I was wrestling with was simply my flesh desiring an easier road!
So I sat that morning and asked forgiveness from the One who promises to wipe my sin as far as the east is from the west. Then I looked my flesh in the eyes again and told it what WILL be! Those yeses I gave hold great promises and abundant life I would have missed if I had not agreed to do the will of my Father! So I made a decision to view those things causing me grief not in the way they appear now, but in the way God intends them to be! God has told me 2017 is a year of HOPE. Part of Biblical HOPE is seeing things as they are in the heavenly realm and not as circumstances make them appear! I applied that truth to those yeses that were making me feel discouraged and worn out! I wish I could say the regret and bitterness immediately left. But that's not always how it happens. In the days since that morning by t
he tree, I have had to battle my thoughts and feelings! I have to continually renew my mind with what I want things to look like....not how they currently are! Once I have reset my thoughts, the regret and bitterness are replaced with HOPE and peace!
I don't know what has left you feeling regret, bitterness or hopelessness in 2016. But I would love for you to walk with me to replace those feelings with HOPE! Whatever path you are on, the Word promises Jesus knows the feelings as he experienced this sinful earth as fully man! Yet He chose to come anyway! If there is nothing else you can hang onto at this point but that HOPE, then grab on for dear life and let Jesus begin to work in you to bring HOPE to the rest of your circumstances! And remember you are not alone!
No comments:
Post a Comment