This is my favorite tree on our property. I was walking past it a couple weeks ago and saw that it had budded out. My immediate reaction was, "Oh no!!! It has budded too soon! We will have another freeze, and it will lose all these buds!" I would be extremely sad if this tree wasn't able to leaf out. As I stood contemplating the fate of my tree for this season, God whispered, "Timing is important! If you bloom too soon, the frost will get your buds." I think I laughed out loud! God knows how much I struggle with His timing, and like the good Father He is, He was taking advantage of this teachable moment.
We are on the verge of one of the largest growths in the agency we have had since we created it 12 years ago. How many times over the 12 years have I wondered if anything would really come of the agency? How many times did I wish it was "bigger" because I felt like what I was doing was insignificant or worthless? All of those moments came flashing back as times I thought I was ready to bust out my blooms, but God knew if I were to do that, a freeze was waiting to take it all away!
I smiled, thankful for the gentle reminder of the lesson of waiting on God's timing that I had learned from those experiences. I started to walk off. Silly me! I have walked with God long enough to know, if He started this conversation, there was problem more than just a fun reminiscing of lessons learned. There was a Truth for today.
Just a few days earlier, a friend had shared a prophecy warning of holding an umbrella over dry, cracked ground that was thirsty for the rain God was sending. The message was to allow the rain that God was sending to saturate the dry ground. I had been tossing that around praying through what it meant. As I started to walk off from the tree, God brought some clarity. He reminded me that blooming before I was ready was not the only timing issue I had to trust Him with. As I glanced over to Jim, our horse standing just a few feet behind the tree that had become my object lesson for the day, that small voice whispered again. "Not only do you not need to bloom too soon, but you also don't need to pull back on the reigns when I send the vision into full motion!" Ouch! I would have been just find to look back on those memories of wanting more but learning to trust Him to bring it in His timing. But no, God had to go and remind me that I was afraid of the things He had shown me needed to be happening because I just did not see how it would work.
We are in one of the craziest seasons of our lives! We are still trying to crawl out from under the crazy moving/remodel experience of this summer. We still don't have all the remodel completed (lack a few things in the kitchen and an entire bathroom), we still have boxes to unpack, systems to get into place, and some painting to do. The agency has become busier than it has ever been all while our children's needs are at a place where they need us advocating, and loving, and connecting and providing for them more than we ever have. John's job is also going through some transition that is pulling him in different directions and brings more stress and demands. Then my parents had a serious car accident last week, and I saw my daughter and oldest grandson for the first time in three years, and met my youngest grandson for the first time ever! It seriously could not be a busier, more demanding, emotionally exhausting season of life. So I find myself pulling back on the reigns of the things God is saying to let run, NOW! I find myself throwing up an umbrella afraid of the rain that is falling.
The buds have grown out more now. I can see them from my windows. We haven't had a hard freeze since they started coming out, but I suspect we will. I do not really know what it will do to the tree for this season. But every time I catch a glimpse of a bud, I smile because I hear that small voice saying, "Do you see how big that tree is?! What is happening in this season will be another ring. Another year of growth. Another layer of strong bark turned to an inner ring. Don't stop by just looking at the buds...look at what I have done over years and years. Trust me with your season! It's just one piece of the puzzle I am working in your life to build and mold and shape you into who I have called you to be! Listen. Trust. Obey. Then leave the rest up to me!"
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