I just have to brag on my parents! I seriously could not have survived the last at least year without them! Life has been really tough. Tough in almost every way. But my parents have been there for me....in every way!
We have not always seen eye to eye! Mom and I had a great relationship growing up. It is because of her that I was so determined to be a stay at home mom, and even though God has called me into the ministries of adoption and humanitarian aid, it is the example of a mother that Mom gave me that keeps my priorities straight. My family will come first! I saw my mom be the mother to so many of my friends who had working moms. When they forgot their lunch or homework, it was my mom they called! When they wanted to know the details of sex, it was my mom they talked to. I can remember thinking at a pretty young age, I will not work because I never want my kids to have to find "another" mother! I want to be the mom like my mom is!
But even with that great relationship, we hit a bump when I was a teenager. I didn't sow any wild oats, but I am sure I wasn't always the most respectful teen either (at least that is how she tells the story! lol!). Dad got tired of being referee and we did end up in family counseling my senior year, and a decision was made that I would go to Tech the first year of college instead of living at home and going to a junior college. It was time for me to be on my own, and my wise parents recognized that and encouraged me in that way. There were rocky times after that, but through it, Mom and I always talked and tried to understand one another and make changes in the way we treated and talked to or with each other in order to preserve the relationship.
I have always been a "Daddy's Girl"! I had the best daddy a girl could dream of. He told me almost daily that I was beautiful and special! I knew that my daddy loved me unconditionally. I still know that even at 36 years old. When I would sit on my floor and cry for hours because I was overweight or because I didn't have a boyfriend, he would come sit with me, rub my back and tell me how beautiful I am. When I would tell him that he was just saying that because he was my daddy and he had to, he would always have some come back that would make me laugh and start to lift the cloud hanging over me! As I got older, he stayed the strong silent one as I faced the challenges of growing up with strong morals in what was becoming a moraless world (nothing like it is today or will be when my kids are teens!).
But even though I had an amazing childhood, we have had our differences as adults. We have had conflicting views in religion and faith. Sometimes they put a pretty big wedge between us. Mom and Dad have not always understood or even agreed with the things J0hn and I have done in our lives. Sometimes they (well Mom) was more vocal than I had wished she had been. Sometimes it caused us to have some pretty heated fights. But even in those times, we always came back and talked through it or came to a mutual agreement to agree to disagree. And I always knew the reason for any comments she made, even the ones I disagreed with, were made out of her concern for me and my well being.
Two of the things that my parents have struggled with understanding are our adoption of the children and our work in adoption that brings lots of hard ache, takes me half way around the world from my family frequently, and requires a lot of my time and energy. And most recently, my parents have wanted to commit me to the funny farm for taking on Baby Girl and all that goes with her!
BUT despite these difference and not really understanding why we do what we do and probably not even agreeing with it, they have been an invaluable help and support through the last year! I can honestly say that without them, I don't know that my family would have made it and surely would not have been able to do all God has called us to this past year!
Let me just tell you a little of what they have done. They volunteer on a regular basis at the office and send out all of my donor receipts. They spend hours making sure they have everything exactly right and have a good record of the receipts they send. Daddy has even started a donor data base for me. They are both PTA members at the kids' school. Last week, they drove teachers around to deliver pizzas for a fund raiser from 4:30 to 8:30! They were the only grandparents there! Sometimes I take for granted what they do until something like this and it hits me how unique they are in their involvement with my family!
When we had our garage sale to raise the money for our emergency fund, they came and worked. They worked for almost a week! They helped us set it up, they donated items for us to make money, mom made lunch every day we had the garage sale, mom cleaned house and did laundry during the down times of the garage sale, Daddy played taxi taking Toben to a birthday party, Daddy even took a crying Baby Girl and rocked her to sleep...that is a HUGE task for just about anyone but me (she is a momma's girl!)
They took me and the kids to the sandhills for Spring Break! Dad even bought the kids a sand disc...I had to tease him because he would NEVER have done that for Keith and I! They made all the plans, took the dinner...all the kids and I had to do was show up and enjoy the trip! It was amazing and has gone down in my kids' books as one of their favorite "vacations"...it is only a fifty mile drive and we were only gone a few house, but they still call it a vacation! Maybe we need to get out of town more often! :)
I really can't even begin to name all that they do and have done! This past week as I reflected on the involvement of my parents in my life, I was overcome with gratitude! I do not tell them enough how much I appreciate them! Have we always gotten along or seen eye to eye, NO! But through those times, we have fought for the relationship to stay in tact. And through those times, I think we have come to a mutual respect and probably have the best relationship we have ever had!
Most importantly, my parents gave me the firm foundation on which my faith has been built! They instilled in me a love and fear of God that has brought me to the place I am today. I never had "wild days" because of the foundation they laid for me. Were my parents perfect? Are they perfect? No! None of us parents are! John and I joke all the time that we better start saving now for the therapy our children will need to recover from our parenting. I believe that we as parents all do the best we can. We all give what we have to our children and sometimes that includes our baggage. My parents did their best. I was just blessed beyond measure to have won the jackpot in getting the parents I did!
I am blessed! I would not trade my parents for anyone else's! My children are blessed to have them as grandparents!
So Mom and Daddy, THANK YOU! Thank you for setting an example for me to follow of how I want to be to my children, not just as they are little, but for a lifetime. And thank you for always fighting for our relationship even during the tough times! I am so thankful we never let our differences divide us to the point of losing our relationships! I love you! God gave me the greatest gift I could have ever needed when he gave me you!
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