IN it but not OF it: Part 1

I have always struggled with the true meaning of John 17. In case you haven't figured it out by now, I am an analyzer! Sometimes I over analyze things, and this may be one of those times. However, this scripture has come to mind several times lately as I have struggled through different areas.

"I am no longer in the world; and yet they themselves are in the world...and the world has hated them, because they are not of this word, even as I am not of the world." John 11,14

Over the years, my struggle with the "in but not of it" truth has evolved. In my early years, especially in my legalistic thinking, it was a statement of arrogance. "I'm not one of them" I am among them because I have to be, but I am not "of " them! Reading it in full context, that is most definitely NOT what Jesus is talking about! He is talking about love, NOT pride!

Then my struggle evolved to the riches part of the world. This was particularly a struggle when we first started working in Africa. I felt guilty for having a home with running water and electricity. I felt guilty for having food on my table and a steady income. I have to live in this world because Jesus left us here, but I am not to be "of" it. What exactly does "of" it mean?! Does it mean I shouldn't embrace any of its luxuries or benefits? Does it mean I can't have fun? Does it mean I sit in solemn studious stature and meditate on The Word? As I've learned more of The Word and more of God's character, I can definitely say no to those as well! As far as enjoying the luxuries the world has to offer, well, I still struggle with that! I know the answer is in balance. But where is that balance?

I am finding my struggle with the "in" it but not "of" it has intensified the last few weeks. It has become quite an internal struggle as well, in myself, but also in my family, meaning with me, John and the kids. If you want to know how much of a bubble you have been in, bring in an older child who has seen, heard and experienced things that no child should! While I hear my friends talk about how much they are shielding their children from "the world", I realize I have brought "the world" in to live in my home. Please don't misunderstand that statement. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Isabella is meant to be in our home, and I am so thankful every day that God delivered me from fear so that I could take this journey and say yes to adding her to our family. She is AMAZING! Truly, amazing!

But by no fault of her own, she has not only been in the world, but she has been all about the world! What motivates her, what makes her happy, her interaction with friends and others, it is all wrapped in the lies of this world. It is all based on the lies spewed by the Father of Lies who rules this earth. It is based on the things that will kill, steal and destroy! But he is a master liar! He makes it all look so good. I am finding it so difficult to "argue" with what satan makes look so appealing.

I know the Truth! I know where the low road will lead and where the high road will lead. But I also know that I can't make the decision to take the high road for any of my children! Oh that I could!

I can "make" my children obey my rules! I can take away all privileges until they get the picture that it is my way or they highway! I am not a parent who will ever say as many did to me when I was teaching 6th grade, "I've tried everything and nothing seems to work." I know how to get their attention. However, I don't want to just get their attention, I want to transform their heart!

You see, I can make them act the way I want them to, but that truly is not my goal! My goal is to build warriors for God's kingdom. That means they have to understand the cost and choose to do it anyway. That means that somewhere in side of themselves, they have to value the ways of God over the ways of this world. Somewhere inside of them they have to understand that what looks like denying themselves pleasure or what looks like hard right now, in the end will bring more pleasure than anything this world has to offer and will make life easier!

But how to do I get them there, especially one who has been soaked in the world for 15 years, and I have a short 3 to totally turn it around? It makes my head and heart hurt!

As I sit down to spend time with God today, that is my question for Him. What now? Honeymoon is over, and real life is here. What boundaries do I put in place to keep my children safe even if they don't understand, and what freedoms do I give because too many boundaries will only produce rebellion. I love Karyn Purvis' analogy of the horse. You pull back on the reigns slightly and they stop. You pull back a little harder and they back up. You pull back even harder and they buck! I need some stopping and some backing up, but bucking is not proving to be beneficial!

God, I'm here again with the same question for different reasons! How do I teach my children to have a heart for you? When the world is so tempting, how do I keep their eyes on you? How do I take my daughter who has been taught all the wrong ways and show her the right ways without crushing her? How hard do I push? When do I back off? God, I ask forgiveness for avoiding You myself and backing up from You because I didn't want the internal struggle of flesh verses Holy! But as I told one of my children last night, I would rather be lame and Holy than worldly and popular. Help me be a strong example to my children, especially to my girls of how You want Your daughters to look and act. Stoke my heart's fire for you so that my love for You is evident in my every word, action and thought towards my children. Protect my children from the enemy! Bind him from our home. We belong to You and we will have children who love You and live for Your kingdom purposes! Thank you for your promise that Your Word never returns void. Thank you for the assurance that even as my daughters study Your word in the morning and by afternoon seem to have forgotten it, I know the Truth that You will use those seeds in their lives! Holy Spirit, speak to me words of wisdom as I deal with each of these situations with my children. Give me words of love and discipline that lead them to You and not push them away from me and You. In Jesus Name ~Amen!

Honestly, how do people parent without the wisdom of the Holy Spirit? So thankful for my relationship with God as we walk this journey called parenting! Can't imagine how badly I would mess it up without Him!