Faith is Radical

As we work to continue to mold our world with that of our sweet Isabella, I realize just how radical our faith is. Even for Callie, I realize how much the world has already influenced her thoughts and ideas of standards for living. Mainly we are dealing with clothing and appropriate attire right now. Don't have an issue with Callie's dress yet, but as we talk about the why's and the boundaries that will be in place, the arguments that come out of both of their mouths break my heart!

But I am finding that God is just using that to reveal to me how radical faith of any kind is these days. And also to show me how much I am influenced by the thoughts and patterns of the world. John and I have a major decision to make in the weeks coming up. It is a radical decision. The answer should seem obvious, and I know for many who we would ask, it would be. In fact, at one time, we were giving the same answer. But as clear as day, I know God picked me up from walking in that answer and turned me completely around. He made it clear we had not consulted Him on our decision. The new answer is radical! It is not logical! It is crazy! It will take faith! Nothing in sight says it makes sense! Yet, if we were not to change from the path we were going to the new, radical path, why would He have stopped us? Wouldn't He have left well enough alone?

Because of the funk I have talked about so much lately, over the past few months, when God has spoken directly to me or I felt a nudge of the Holy Spirit, I wrote it down. Word for word as best I could what God was trying to show me or reveal to me. I have been reviewing all these notes over the past couple of days. Things that seem so clear in that moment of revelation become so clouded when I walk out into the world called my life as mom of 6 with one on the way. But here is the deal, the only thing keeping us from moving head long in one direction is HUMAN limitation! That's it. We look at a situation that God has put before us and John and I both say, there is NO way! John is still unsure, but I am almost certain God is saying, "this is My way, walk in it!" I am totally ready to lay that down if my husband tells me that God has told him no or that is not the direction he, John, feels we need to go. It will be hard, not because letting go of the situation will be tough (although that has its own heart strings too), but because it will leave me once again in a crisis of faith with God. If I am walking down a path and am at peace and content with that decision, why in the world would You, God, turn it all upside down just to turn me back around and continue to walk in the original direction? There will be some serious crying out to God if it turns out we end up not walking down this path. But let me add here how grateful am I am to be a woman at times like this! I know my place. Regardless of what I think God is telling me, the buck doesn't stop with me! I am protected under the covering and the leadership of my husband. Does that mean I will agree with him? Maybe not in the beginning. Does that mean I will not have to struggle through some things with God and maybe even John over the outcome? No. But it does mean that I can present what God has said to me to John then sit back and let him make the decision. My job at that point is to pray for John and ask God to impart His wisdom to John so that John can make the right decision. But the burden of that decision does not fall on my shoulders, and that is a blessing. Makes me thankful and makes me realize the importance of bringing my man before God on a daily if not hourly basis since these burdens do rest on his shoulders for our family!

In light of this situation, Mary is my hero right now! I read about her visit with Elizabeth. I'm sure this especially speaks to me right now since I am carrying a little blessing myself - one God brought to us because we certainly were not planning him/her! I've not been called baron or beyond child bearing years as Elizabeth was (although I have felt like that at times with my 'advance maternal age' and all!), and this was not an immaculate conception. But sparing you all the intimate details, lets just leave it at this baby is God ordained! I've never had direct Words from God spoken over me in my life. I've never had anyone come up to me and say, "God told me _____ for you or a situation."....that is until this pregnancy! So in some ways, I very much relate to these two women! They both were carrying children who had been spoken over as vital in the kingdom of God. They both knew that the radical beginnings of the lives in side of them were just that - the radical beginnings of radical lives for their two sons! Elizabeth's words to Mary are so encouraging to me right now in Luke 1! When Mary spoke to Elizabeth, John lept in her womb! How cool is that? Even in the womb, John the Baptist knew the Messiah had entered the room! I love it! Elizabeth encourages Mary by telling her that she is blessed because she has believed that what God has told her will happen and is true! Oh how I want to be like Mary! The words spoken over our baby are not that unbelievable compared to Mary. Let's see....Mary's baby was conceived through immaculate conception! You could just stop there and call Mary a hero for believing she is pregnant! Goodness knows I've had a hard time grasping the fact that I'm pregnant and I've done the deed to get that way, am now feeling movement and had many more symptoms to make it register! But Mary believed the moment she was told. I would like to think if an angel had come to tell me and not a stick with a line, I would have grasped it sooner also, but I'm not so sure I would have! God had spoken this baby's existence over me several months before I got pregnant, but I still didn't believe when I got pregnant.

But Mary, in her absolutely crazy circumstances, doesn't stop with belief! Luke 1:46-55 is Mary's blog post of Bible times about the goodness and wonder of God! She isn't wallowing in self-pity that God would place this burden on her or call her to such a high thing! Let's think about it: she is a pregnant virgin with the Savior of the world! How believable is that? Think of going to your mother, your father, your fiance and explaining that one! Really?! It has cost her friends and family. It brought undeserved shame and embarrassment. Yet she says, "My soul exalts in the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior!" Oh to be like Mary!

God make me not only believe what You are asking of us right now, but let me rejoice in being the one You have asked! Get my eyes off myself and the world and onto You and Your kingdom! Give me a bigger perspective that allows me to rejoice in the things you have called me to in this world! Yes, I have reward in heaven, but help me to see the rewards right here!