Unbelief is Paralyzing

The funk I've been in can be boiled down to one word - "unbelief". I can relate to Beth Moore in Praying God's Word when she answers the Lord's command to believe with, "Of course I believe in you. I've believed in You all my life." And I can relate to the Lord's response to her just as much, "I didn't ask you to believe in me, I asked you to believe me." I don't remember a time when I didn't believe in God! However, believing Him, believing He can and will do what He says He will do, well, that's something I've struggled with my entire adult life. I have made great strides in my belief, and even thought I had come to a place of utter belief of God: Who He is, What He is, What He can do! But I can once again relate to Beth when she says, "I have a feeling this is one theme I probably will run into again and again in the course of my journey. Why? because without faith it is impossible to please Him...you and I will be challenged to believe Him from one season to the next, all of our days. And if we have even half a heart for God, He's likely to shake our perimeters and stir up a little excitement." I say it all the time...our home is a lot of things, but boring is definitely NOT one of them! And God is doing it again! Stirring us up...I'm finding that He lets us sit less and less in the place we are in as He challenges us to grow in Him.

In fact, I haven't even overcome my last unbelief...not in God, but in myself. For the next step of faith God is calling us to, He is asking me to believe I can do much what I had to believe I could do to bring Isabella into our home. I overcame that unbelief and welcomed her. But we are definitely still walking out that belief in a day to day basis...and frankly, most days I feel much more like a failure than a success! So as I contemplate this next step of faith while still wrestling with fleshing out the last one, I once again hear my thoughts ringing in Beth Moore's words:

"The enemy taunts us with whispers like, 'You'll never be free. You've tried a hundred times. You go back every time. You're hopeless. You're weak. You're a failure. You don't have what it takes.'...You do have what it takes. You have Jesus - the Way, the Truth and the Life. But you can't just believe in him to be free from your stronghold. You must believe Him. Believe He can do what He says He can do. Believe you can do what He says you can do. Believe He is who He says He is. And believe you are who He says you are."

There it is. The crust of my funk - I don't believe...I believe He is who He says He is. I believe He can do what ever He wants! I struggle with believing He will do what He says He will do and I just flat have lots of unbelief in the area of believing I can do what He says I can do!

But once again, my God whom I love dearly and is so personal, met me right here...in my unbelief! Beth's words have ministered to my soul. They have encouraged and inspired me through the Holy Spirit! I sat and spoke out loud the areas I am struggling in personally. The areas I feel like a failure. The areas that I don't believe I can do because of my human limitations. I sat and spoke out loud, "I believe I can _______" and filled in the blank with all the things the enemy has told me I can't do over the past few weeks. It's amazing the perspective change that gives me! I see my children as blessings and not burdens. I see tasks before me as adventures not challenges. I am amazed at just how much differently life looks with my focus on Jesus, His ways, His power, His strength; and not on me or the world!

I am refueled and ready today! I am able! Whatever comes my way today, I am able! I'm ready for a great start to a great week! I will not just survive this week, I will LIVE it!