What's in a Name...

Naming kids has always been a difficult thing for John and I. You would think by number 7, we would have a system or something, but no! As of last week, we still didn't have a middle name. One of the things that made it hard on this baby is that God has already spoken so much over this baby. We wanted what had been spoken to be part of his name. I have wondered if we weren't putting a lot of expectation on this baby with the things that have been spoken....is that fair? But God has taken me to many scriptures over the past few months. I have never really thought about babies and children in scripture until God started speaking so much about this pregnancy. But if you look through the Bible, there are plenty of instances where God used babies and children to fulfill promises or talked to women who were pregnant. In Luke 1 God tells of His plans and the big assignment for John the Baptist while Elizabeth was still pregnant. He talks to Mary about Jesus and then send her to Elizabeth who feels her baby leap in her womb at the entrance of his Savior...who is also still in the womb. In the Old Testament there are plenty of children who fulfilled promises of God like Isaac for Sarah and Abraham and Samuel for Hannah. When we first announced our pregnancy, God told a dear friend that this baby would bring about healing to our family. This was so encouraging! This friend knew the battles John and I have faced in our marriage for the entire 13 years. Hearing that God was doing a work that would bring healing from these was a breath of fresh air! John and I both are ready to have the healed marriage we have been working toward all these years!

Through the journey of the past 9 months, we have clung to this Word from God! When we had our first doctor's appointment and we couldn't see a heart beat, John felt God assure him that the baby was fine and it was a boy! There were some personal things that John was dealing with that made having a biological son a challenge. I rested in the fact that John knew everything was ok while we waited that entire week before the next appointment when we saw and heard a healthy heartbeat!

John also had dreams that he was confident had spiritual meaning. Most of them involved rain and refreshing. Then I had the night that I posted about after Paizley's finazlization when we had the only rain storm we have had in the past year! We have clung to these moments over the past few months! And as these moments have happened, I felt confident that they needed to be reflected in Baby Boy's name!

I feel like we have lived a lifetime in the last nine months! Paizley has come to live with us, we had and lost B-man, Baby Girl's parents' rights have been terminated and we are moving forward with adoption, John's job has changed drastically, God is calling me to more hours at the agency, the list goes on and on. I have been in what I have heard described by others as a dark night of the soul. I have felt farther away from God than ever before in my life. My faith and trust in Him have been challenged and I have been more tempted to walk away than maybe ever, or at least since Eden's adoption failed. But still there was this promise...this Word that God would bring healing through this baby. I had given up on it. I had decided God had failed me again (yes, I realize the theology in that is totally faulty! God does NOT fail us!). Then I went and spoke to a very wise man at our church and he encouraged me to hang on until the birth. He felt certain when this baby was born, the healing would come. I have had moments in the past three to four weeks where I can taste the victory! I can see what life on the other side of the revelation of the Word is going to look like...but just as quickly the enemy comes and steals it away! It has been battle like never before in our home!

During some of the roughest parts of the last few months, I was reading Mandisa's biography. This quote is in it, and it sums up what we have felt over our entire marriage: "Victory lies in the journey and the lessons we learn along the way". And it sums up why we picked Baby Boy's first name....

And the middle name had to have some sort of meaning with healing, new beginnings, refreshment or something like that. We searched and searched baby name books and sights. I prayed and prayed for a name to come to us. I had one I felt like fit, but John wasn't crazy about it. So I kept praying and looking. I just knew when I found it, it would settle in our spirit...and it did! I found a website that had Biblical names and meanings. And that's where we found it! His middle name will be Josiah...it means "healed by God" and fits perfectly with the Journey God has had us no this entire pregnancy!

Journey Josiah

a journey of healing by God....exactly what we have been on and are looking to be completely fulfilled when he is born.