If I look away for only a second, I sink! Every day has to start with coffee and Jesus! Ok, the coffee is optional, but the Jesus is NOT! It only takes one day, just one day and I have a chink in my armor that leaves a place for the enemy to sneak in and the war is on!
How do I know? Because this week has been that war! It took one day of not putting my focus on God from the very start of my day for all the doubts in the world to come into my mind! All the promises I have been standing on for the entire 2012 year began to crumble. My weight, some significant relationships, our finances, my health, the agency....it all started looking impossible again! And that's when I knew I had looked away!
So many people say, "I don't know how you do it!" My usual response is, "not well most days!" And that is the truth! I am not the wife, mother, daughter, friend or ministry director I wish I was just about every day. However, the only way I even do the meager job I manage to do is because of Jesus. Period! And here's the thing, every one of the people who say "I don't know how you do it!" could do it too....with Jesus!
Today I spent a lot of time just asking God to forgive me for losing focus and believing the lies of the enemy. It never fails when I have my moments of weakness, there is a well meaning friend or family member who actually puts voice to all my fears about the days ahead and what they will mean in reality. But here's the deal, if you would have told me 11 years ago when I brought Noah home that I would some day have 7 kids with a grand baby just a year younger than my own baby living with me while I continued to raise her mother and run an adoption agency and open a maternity home, I would have just rolled over and died! I had panic attacks about taking Callie and Noah into town (we lived about 45 minutes from where we did all of our shopping) by myself for the first time!
God has reminded me this morning that He gives grace for today. That's all! I honestly don't know what the next few weeks will hold. But I know who holds my next few weeks! And as He has so graciously reminded again and again, He has promised to supply me with all I need according to His great riches in glory! (Phil 4:19) and that isn't just finances..its love, patience, mercy, time, energy....whatever I need to do whatever He has called me to do! As long as I keep my eyes on Him, I will not just survive this season, I will sore above it and hopefully show His glory as we fly!
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