In most stories where weight has been a life long battle, you hear of the "one defining moment" when that person who has not overcome the weight battle decides no matter what, it's done! I have always wondered if that moment would come for me. I've battled it my entire life! I would see a picture of myself and think, Wow! That's what I look like? But still didn't stick to a battle plan. Pretty sure seeing this card that was delivered by my sweet Ava will go down in history as my defining moment. When I looked down and saw the date.....December 14....something in me clicked! That's my 40th birthday. I had determined on my birthday last year that I would not enter the next decade as unhealthy as I am now. I would enter the new decade lighter and more able to carry out all my daily life requires of me. Little did I know the demands of my daily life would just about double over this year between the move and that babies coming to live with us. With all the added responsibility and time demands, I struggled to find time for any type of exercise. And without the exercise, I know weight loss is not going to happen for me. That would start a vicious cycle of not eating right because it wasn't worth it if I couldn't exercise. Then there is just the fact of eating right takes planning ahead! All of it just seemed like an insurmountable mountain!
But when I stared at that date realizing it is just a little over a month away...and while I am a few pounds under where I was on December 14 of last year, I am nowhere near where I want to be!
But it's more than weight! It's more than being healthy! For me, this is a spiritual battle. I am not saying this for everyone who struggles with weight, but for me, it is an area of bondage. And frankly, I am sick of being in bondage to this! Jesus went to the cross to set me FREE! If I am in bondage, it's because I am believing the lies the enemy throws at me. The only bondage I can be in is the one I willingly remain in. Well, this prisoner is busting through the gates!
I am two days in. I have run for two days, now. I didn't run this morning because Journey is sick and was up most of the night..so the enemy is already taunting me with failing. Well, devil, the Day. Ain't. Over! I will run tonight!
Even in my runs, I am finding freedom! I put on praise music or sermons while I run/walk. If anyone were to follow me, I am sure they would pretty much think I have lost my mind! I pray out loud when I have enough air to do it. I declare that victory is mine! Each time my foot goes down on the cement..sometimes heavier than others when I am about to the end of my running time....I envision the enemy right there, under my foot! With each step I take I am running farther and farther from my prison cell! And it's exhilarating! Who needs drugs when you have Jesus?!
So I am taking you on this journey with me! I am making a promise to post the good, the bad and the ugly! Not because I am all excited about putting it out there, but because I know everyone that walks this earth is in bondage to something! And for those of us who have areas that we have tried to break free from all our lives, the chains feel too heavy to carry much less break free from! But because of tools I have been given by people wiser and further in their walk in Christ than me, I now have the tools to break the chains...no matter how thick! I want EVERYONE to have these tools! The church of America has not taught these over the past many years!
And you see, my "prison" is literally worn on my body! I have felt at times like it is the scarlet "A" hanging around my neck! I have a dream to one day stand before women as a motivational speaker/teacher or stand before adoptive parents to encourage them in the battles of loving children from abuse and neglect. When I stand there, I want to stand in freedom! Don't hear me say that I wouldn't do it right now at the weight I am, I would! But I want freedom in ALL areas! I want ALL God has for me! And I want to stand as a representation of freedom in Christ in all areas! I want to reflect God in the best way I can! And I don't do that at the weigh I am right now.
So it's time to take back the temple! This time, I don't stop until I reach the goal. For today, the goal is a 5K where I will cross the finish line at the fastest pace I can on the day I enter my 4th decade marking a new season in life where the enemy has no more power over me in this area!
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