Already off the wagon - but not staying there!

Trained two days, then skipped three days! Ugh! I told you I was committed to the good, the bad, and the ugly on here!  That's ugly! 


It seemed everything worked against me this week...sick kids, extra work load...but that's just it.  In this season, there will not be a "convenient" time for getting healthy.  I am going to have to fight for the time to run/exercise.  I am going to have to carve out time to cook and shop healthy.  It has to take priority!  I can't have the "later" mentality....like, I'll run later today.  First thing in the morning before the rest of my world comes to life is going to have to be my time for exercise.  
I know the battle is still raging because at one point yesterday the despair of trying and failing so many times came back with overwhelming force! You know that, "You failed again, you might as well just quit" voice. Followed by "You'll never be anything other than what you are right now."  Well, that's just a lie!  The enemy wants to keep me in a state of despair and defeat!  
Part of maturing in my walk with Christ and in particularly in my awareness of the spiritual realm and what it means in my daily walk is recognizing attacks for what they are and fighting back with the weapons of warfare.  Second Corinthians 10 tell us that even though we walk in the flesh, we don't war with weapons of the flesh.  We have to fight with the weapons of spiritual warfare that are "divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses." We are not fighting things of this world.  So fighting with things we "see" will do no good.  This chapter continues to tell us, "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God."  That's it! We are fighting against those things we have believed - like I am a failure at exercising and getting healthy!  A text came in yesterday that sent me in a tail spin toward depression.  It might as well have been signed, "love, Satan"!  It was directly from him to put another brick in the fortress of the stronghold of the lies he wants me to believe about my ability to handle all that is in my life right now.  But when I realize it was a fiery dart sent from the enemy, I can stop the spiral with the Truth!  Looking back at the circumstances surrounding the babies coming to live with us (something we never sought out, but God lit each step of the path...steps we didn't even know were there!)...how He orchestrated the move and blessed us in so many ways along that path, when I stop and look at those Truths along with Philippians 4:13 that promises I can do anything as long as it is God strengthening me to do it, I can know there is hope. And I know that I am on the path God has asked me to walk even if it seems crazy to most everyone else, and I do what 2 Corinthians 10 says we do with our weapons of warfare, "we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ!" 
As soon as I stopped, hit my knees, cried out, started repeating out loud (my kids are used to it now and only occasionally ask me if I've lost my mind) these Truths, the despair lifted! The hope returned.  Nothing about my circumstances changed one bit.  It was all fought and won in my mind!  
It's the same with any stronghold that has a grip on you and is keeping you from walking in complete freedom and victory in Christ!  First we have to ask if there is any sin that is allowing the enemy access to us in this area.  If there is, we have to stop, and repent.  That means turn and go the other way!  God's forgiveness is complete and total!  That sin is gone.  Now you have to replace the hole left by that sin in your mind with Truth!  The enemy will desperately try to keep you in bondage even after you have stopped sinning.  And sometimes, there is no sin.  It's just the words of another or a generational bondage that has been passed down through your family.  Whatever it is, the answer is the same.....use scripture to deflect the arrow of lies that the enemy uses to build the stronghold.  With every Truth you believe, a brick of the wall falls. 
I've known the tools for years, but I am just now learning how to recognize the battle immediately and put the tools to use!  It is energizing and brings so much hope!  When you realize the enemy truly has no power over you than what you give him, you start recognizing when you've given him power and you TAKE. IT. BACK!
So, today, I will run!  I will not buy the lie that I can't do it.  I will not buy the lie that this time will be the same as all times before.  And I will not buy the lie that my life is too much to handle! And I pray for anyone reading this who is battling lies keeping them in a stronghold that Holy Spirit will speak Truth over you that you can cling to and tear down your stronghold as well!  
For if the Son makes you free, you are free indeed! (John 8:36)