When we got home, there was a message from our adoption agency. That in and of itself was a red flag. They rarely returned phone calls or e-mails, so a call out of the clear blue telling us to call her was a sure thing something was wrong. You know how your mind immediately starts playing through the scenarios of what it could be....she couldn't find our documents we mailed her?...there was a mistake in some of the paperwork?...there were going to be more fees?...I was still very naive about adoption, especially international adoption. I knew by the tone of her voice it was probably more serious than paperwork, but nothing prepared me for the news that was about to be delivered. John made the phone call. John always paces when he talks on the phone...but this time I followed him trying to make sense of the one side of the conversation I was hearing. I wasn't getting much from "aha" and "yes" and "ok". Then he goes out the backdoor and puts his foot on it so that I couldn't come out. Then I knew something serious was happening. I am sure it wasn't more than 5 or maybe 10 minutes...but it seemed like an eternity. I watched him through the glass door. Finally he took the phone from his ear and turned toward me. When our eyes met, I knew whatever it was, it was serious.
He walked in the door and said, "Addy died." I am not sure how long I stood there. I heard the words, but I couldn't make sense of them in my mind. I asked him to say it again. The details were still sketchy, but from what we could piece together, she had contracted cholera from contaminated drinking water. She had died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I was numb. I needed answers. I went to my computer and looked up Cholera. The words I read just brought anger! I had no idea what Cholera was...all she needed was an iv and an antibiotic. That's it. The lack of availability of those two simple medical provisions that I always took for granite was all that stood between life and death of my little girl.
I know it may seem impossible to be that emotionally invested or tied to a child you have only seen in a picture. And maybe it should be. But for anyone who has adopted, you know that the picture comes to life when God says, "She's yours, go get her!" I have not lost a child to death who has lived in my home, but I can tell you my mamma heart broke that day. First in grief and then in anger. I was mad at God. Why would you introduce us to them only months earlier, call me to be her mamma and then take her from me? Why are children dying of the denial of things that are common place in my country? How are children dying from contaminated water in this day and age? My heart broke for Eden who had just lost her twin...her only sibling from a mother who had died (or so we were told)!
It was her death and the sorting through it over the coming weeks that God would use to call John and I to found Addy's Hope Adoption Agency! We had no idea what we were doing, and truly, that is a huge understatement! We honestly just said, "Yes!" God has done the rest. We are truly an example of God using a "yes" because that was really all we had to offer in this area. I didn't know the slightest thing about running any business, much less a ministry. I sure didn't know the legal ins and outs of processing an adoption. But we said, "Yes!"
We could have never known what that yes would mean, and how God would use the life and death of one precious little girl to impact lives in a ripple that still has not stopped. There are 39 children, including our own son, who are no longer orphans in Liberian and Guatemala, but are in loving, Christian homes learning about the Savior who offers them eternal life! There are two children who are no longer orphans in the foster system, and three more about to be placed in their forever home with two other families waiting for the 5 children combined that they hope to adopt...and 5 more families who are in different parts of the training process in order to bring even more of God's children home!
I still feel most days like I am ill equipped and unable to do all that this ministry demands. And the fact is, outside of the anointing and direction of the Holy Spirit, I am! But today as I reflect on a life that seemed to be snuffed out way to quickly, there are some things that I know. While the remembrance still brings tears, I have learned that God is faithful even when He seems to be absent. I have learned that trusting that I hear Him and trusting that He is leading me will take me to places I could have never gone on my own. I have learned that there are times when following God will bring heart ache beyond what I could ever imagine, but even in the heart ache, He is there. He is faithful. He is worthy.
So today as I remember a little girl I never held in my arms, but will forever hold in my heart and who lives on in the lives of every child touched through Addy's Hope Adoption Agency, I choose to not just morn her death, but celebrate her life! Addy Girl, you inspired me to follow God on a journey that has been far beyond all I could have hoped or imagined! You stand as a reminder that we, the Body of Christ, have an obligation to those who are less fortunate. You remind me that only by the grace of God was I born in a country where clean drinking water and medical care is available to all. You remind me that the battle for children is worth it! Baby girl, I can't wait to hold you in heaven...until then keep dancing with Jesus!
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