It would seem that as soon as I hit send on that last blog post, satan decided to sift us like wheat! What I hadn't shared because I was waiting for that really cool blog post to reveal it, ha!, was that things were progressing with our offer on the Austin Stone house. They had already verbally accepted out offer. We are just working out the details of the contract. It is an estate, so things are moving a little more slowly than they would traditionally, but still, things are moving! AND we had an offer on our house that was what we needed! It had not even hit MLS yet, and we are listing it ourselves. So everything (read circumstances) seemed to be lining up exactly with what we felt God was calling us to do! Then yesterday.
While I was taking kids to school, John calls me. The realtor for the couple buying our house, the ones who LOVE your home and really want it, had sent an email saying that they were withdrawing their offer. "Their plans had changed." And there was the first crack in the foundation I was standing on by faith.
Really, I did ok with that news. I was disappointed, but I just vocalized what I know to be true...God is still good, and God is still faithful! I did have to guard my thoughts carefully because there was a run away train of doubt and confusion and bitterness that wanted to start itself up, but I was determined to shut it down with the Truths I know about the God that I believe has called us to this journey!
To add to this day, John was leaving to go to Michigan for five days! Oh, and did I mention this is our last week of school?! So all you mommas know what that means for my week! I had traveled for work all last week (four straight days!!!!) leaving John to get the last of the house ready to show and care for all the kids. We were literally together less than two full days, and now he was leaving again. We have not been together more than four days straight in weeks! That is definitely taking its toll as our house is a bit difficult to operate as a single parent, not to mention not having your soul mate here to process with in person. I felt the wheels of the train turn just a bit.
John and I spent the day doing the, "what are you thinking" game. He had wifi on his plane, so we were messaging back and forth. I think we both started the day pretty strong. One message I got back from John was a reminder that we are taking our promised land, and satan is not going to let that happen without a fight. But as the day went on, I think we both at some point took our eyes off of the prize and put it on the problem. I was at a women's conference a few weeks ago. One of the sessions was on circling your promise and not your problem! It was a great lesson that God has brought to mind MULTIPLE times since then....and this morning as I talk to Him, he reminded me again. I definitely think we circled our problem yesterday! That's what fuels that run away train!
We had a showing yesterday morning, so that brought a little encouragement. But the hits kept coming. You see, satan don't play when it comes to keeping you off your promised land. The kids came home from school. One of them had an occurrence that really made moving a reality with regard to friends. It was the child that while there is a really strong reason to move for this child, and probably one of our biggest motivators to move, I also worry about the effects of the move on this child the most. As I watched my child process that pain, the run away train started down the hill.
To top off our fabulous (insert eye roll) day, I had a call from a realtor that wanted to pre-view the house yesterday. I had asked her to come while the kids were at school, but she asked to come at 5:30. I agreed as long as she understood that the children would be in the house. I am happy to take them somewhere and all leave for a family to view the house, but for a realtor preview (that is probably just someone wanting to talk us into listing with them), we just keep the children confined to one area. And y'all who know my children know exactly how easy that is! (insert eye roll again!) So I had littles eating popcorn praying they wouldn't spill it watching a movie in the media room. The big kids were scattered throughout the house ready for the "go" to gather in the living room. 5:30 came and went. Then 5:45, then 6. She never showed up! Ugh! The train picked up speed!
As I drove to pick up 1/2 price burgers from Sonic since cooking is impossible while keeping your kitchen spotless waiting on a realtor who never shows, so many thoughts were going through my mind. Are we doing the right thing? Our house may never sell. What if we have to come off our price so much that it puts us in financial strains? What if we don't have the money to do what needs to be done on the new house? What if we don't put up a fence fast enough and one of the toddlers drowns in the pond at the Austin Stone House? And just like that the enemy had fueled the run away train of thoughts that now sped widely down the hill of our promise! As I drove, I heard a voice say "Is that fear you feel?" Sure enough it was! I had let my thoughts get to a place where my disappointment had turned to fear. And this is what I know...fear is NEVER from God! Not that kind of fear. Not the irrational, stomach in knots because you are thinking about what "could happen" fear. That was my wake up call!
I was messaging with John, and he said it best. He sent me a message that said, "I just feel like we are in the crosshairs of satan and I just need God to show up!" To add to John's day, their plane had been rerouted from Chicago after circling for an hour due to bad weather. So they had to fly to Indiana to refuel, then back to Chicago. They missed their connecting flight so they had to rent cars and drive the last leg of their trip which was about 3 hours. So by the time he go to his hotel, he had been traveling for 13 hours! His day was worse than mine!
But as I realized my mind had taken off with the enemy's lies, I thought of John's message and I got angry! We might just be in the crosshairs of satan, but his is what I know. Any weapon satan has to use against me, the Word of God and the Body of Christ can deflect! So he can set his crosshairs on me, it doesn't mean he wins! That has already been settled. We win! The end has been written! So I just pulled out my Sword and put my crosshairs right back on him!
One of my dearest friends is actually in the process of moving also. They are trying to buy a house in this market which is crazy because in their price range, houses are getting multiple offers in hours and selling for over asking price. So they too have had quite the journey! It has been such an amazing God provision though. My friend is an amazing warrior in the kingdom and is most definitely a glass half full gal! So she has encouraged and challenged me in this journey to stay positive and focus on what I know about God just by listening to her do the same in her own circumstances. It has been iron sharpening iron lived out this week! That is why walking alone is not possible in this Christian life and why the Body of Christ is so important...but that is a whole other post for another time!
As I talked to Liz, God reminded me of the story of the twelve spies that were sent into the Promised Land before the Israelites crossed over. Ten of those spies came back and reported the circumstances...big giants that they could never defeat on their own...but Joshua and Caleb reported what God had said! They didn't deny that there were giants, they just reminded the crowd that God said he would hand their enemies over to them as they crossed over their territory into the land God had promised to give the Israelites! I wan to be like Caleb and Joshua.
Yesterday the circumstances overcame me. I focused on the things my eyes could see. As a Christ Follower, I am called to view those circumstances from my heavenly seat next to Christ at the right hand of God! And when I look from that view, I see the Promise and not the problem!
So this morning, I am committed to focus on the promise! We have a showing at 8:45, so the morning is already coming into line with God's promise! And when I get home...I think I will pack a couple of boxes as my "shield of faith" to remind the enemy that we ARE moving and to deflect those arrows he keeps trying to shoot through his crosshairs!
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