"Never discard a conviction. If it is important enough for the Spirit of God to have brought it to your mind, it is that thing He is detecting. You were looking for a great thing to give up. God is telling you of some tiny thing; but at the back of it there lies the central citadel of obstinacy; I will not give up my right to myself - the thing God intends you to give up if ever you are going to be a disciple of Jesus Christ." ~Oswald Chambers
I am finding more and more that my "rights" are getting in the way of what God is calling me to do. We Amercians have a real problem with our "rights" when it comes to our Christian walk. We are kind of born feeling entitled just because we are Americans and that is what Americans are..entitled. In the political realm that is a good thing. It makes us fight for what we feel is important to our way of live...freedom. But in the Christian walk, it is deadly.
It has been a rough week at our house. So many obstacles. After one too many screams yesterday, I had to walk out the door and go for a little walk...John took over for me in my absence. I cried out to God on that walk that He would deliver me from my circumstances. I was overwhelmed. But what I was really asking Him for was to have my "normal" life back. Times like yesterday I really want to go back to the American dream of 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. On good days, I realize I have gone above and beyond that dream with my 7 kids. But on bad days, it feels like those 4.5 extra kids will send me to an early if not immediate grave.
Those are the times I take my eyes of the One who has blessed me with these children and this life. It is hard. It is overwhelming most days right now. But He has called me. He has asked me to take up my cross and follow Him...every day. He has promised when I do that, He will never leave me nor forsake me and that He will not give me more than I can handle IN HIM!
I read the quote I started with this morning in my devotion and it made me reflect on yesterday in a different light. I did not "discard a conviction" - I had once again taken up my "rights" to what I thought my life should look like.
God brought this to my attention in a big way a couple of weeks ago. Older children in CPS care have to sign a paper that states they understand their "rights". I know whey they do it...it is a protection against adults coming in and taking what should be the child's or bullying them into giving them something they shouldn't. But when that child then becomes a member of a family, the "rights" mentality is still there. And in a family, that doesn't work very well.
We were discussing this with Paizley over a certain issue. She was asking some questions, and John made a profound statement. He said, "When you came into this family, you lost all your rights as an individual. Now you are part of the family and the only right you have is to belong." Immediately I heard the Holy Spirit say, "And so it is in My family!" You see, when I accepted Christ as not only my Savior, by my Lord also, I laid down all my rights! I don't have a right to anything anymore....accept to belong! John went on to tell Paizley that belonging to a family has great advantages over being alone. You have the protection of a roof over your head, a place at a table to eat, the love of a family who only wants what is best for you.....and again the Holy Spirit, "And so it is with My family!" We don't have any "rights" as a follower of Christ, but we have so many blessings! We are heir to an entire kingdom! We are promised peace beyond what the human brain can comprehend (and this week that alone is reason to belong!!!!), a powerful King to always go to battle for us, a Savior who sits at the Right Hand of God Almighty and intercedes for us day and night.
When I look at it from that perspective, I will gladly lay down any "right" I have to an American dream and take hold of the blessings that are mine as a member of God's family....a daughter of the King of Kings!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Freedom from Food: Turning the Day Around
How are you FFF (Freedom from Food) ladies doing today? I know there are a handful of you at least walking this with me! Thank you!!!! As I told one of you this morning, just think, this time next year, we will not need Spanx or tummy flatteners because we will be walking in freedom from food and will have the bodies to show it!
So Monday went great! I had little to no temptation to eat what I shouldn't. Tuesday and Wednesday...well...not so much! The battle was on! I failed pretty miserably both days. John was out of town, so I had all 7 by myself along with some other issues I was struggling to deal with. So I walked back to what I'm used to comforting myself with..food!
Last night I had an amazing time with God and received some amazing teaching on authority and battling. So I was ready for the day! Hence my breakfast:
The way I check my eating right now is: is this nourishing your body or feeding your emotions? Food like chocolate, cake, coke, etc are not ever going to nourish my body, so that keeps me from eating those. So breakfast was an English Muffin with natural peanut butter, honey and banana. Yum!
But shortly after breakfast, my day turned south. An old wound reared its ugly head with new hurt. I immediately found myself roaming the kitchen. But determined to stay on track, I pulled out The Word and started slicing the enemy in half! I didn't eat anything, and I feel totally satisfied! Thank you, Jesus! So if you are struggling to turn your day around, get into The Word! Have your scripture cards ready....I have post it notes on the pantry to which Toben asks, "Mom why are there letters on our doors?" Perfect opportunity for my son to know his mom is not perfect but she is battling her way to victory!
Funny side note about victory....I got on the scale this morning (try to only do that once a week or so) and thought God was doing a MIGHTY work right there! It said I had lost 20 pounds this week! I was ready to give Him all the glory....then I looked down and realized the corner of the scale was on the carpet....moved the scale, re-weighed and got the real picture! No gain, but no loss either. Laughed at myself and told God that was good, I liked seeing those numbers on the scale and assured Him and me that they would be back again real soon....for real this time!
If your week hasn't gone perfect. If you've eaten when you shouldn't have or made a choice you wished you would've done better, its ok! There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. The next time you have to make a choice, choose obedience! Let the past be the past and move on! But DO. NOT. QUIT! I won't let you! And you can't let me either!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Freedom from Food: Some Practical Steps
Practical Step number 1: This is NOT a diet! I am not signing up for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or any other "program". I have nothing against any of those programs, and in fact have used Weight Watchers in the past and may again before all is said and done. But for me, right now, this is truly a spiritual issue! I must put God back on the throne of my heart where He instead of food belongs! When I'm stressed, I need to turn to Him, when I'm happy, I need to turn to Him, when I'm tired, I need to turn to Him - NOT food!
Before I say this next part, let me say it again: This is NOT a diet! But when you have an addiction to drugs or alcohol, you measure your success one day at a time by the number of days you are clean or sober. That is how you celebrate your victory. This is where food addiction gets tricky! I can't stop eating...well, I could, but I wouldn't last long! And this isn't about not eating! It's about putting food in its proper place....for nourishing my body, not my emotions. So how do we measure success and victory in overcoming a food addiction? When I've asked God this for myself (I won't say this is ALWAYS true and if you are battling food addiction would challenge you to ask God for yourself also), He clearly has given me the answer that when I'm not eating more than my body needs, I will lose weight. The extra weight is from the food I eat to feed my emotions and not my body.
I believe I experienced freedom from food when I was pregnant with Journey. It was amazing! Food did not have the hold on me it does now. I didn't think of eating every time I was overwhelmed or sad or angry or depressed. But somehow in the past 11 weeks, I've walked back into that prison cell, shut the door and hid the key! I know I was freed because I only gained 21 pounds during my pregnancy (as opposed to the 50 and 35 I gained with my other pregnancies), and I lost 30 pounds in three weeks after Journey's birth (as opposed to STILL carrying the baby weight from Both girls - for a total of 85 pounds of "baby weight"- who are now 11 and 5!) Can I tell you how good it felt to be 30 pounds lighter? Amazingly good! But over the past three weeks, the scale is creeping back up....that is a red flag in my life. And as I saw the pounds start to go back on, I analyzed my spiritual life. I started noticing that when I was overwhelmed, I opened the refrigerator or pantry and was looking for comfort. So for me the scale is what God has said I am to use as my "days clean" of addiction. It will be my pounds of victory! I don't have a magic number of pounds (although I will post soon about a goal). I just know that as I walk in victory in this area spiritually, my physical body will be transformed. I am a tangible person...I need a tangible thing to encourage me and to show me if I am successful or not. God has given me the pounds to do that in my freedom walk from food.
Practical Step Number 2: One thing that Beth Moore said on Saturday that was so encouraging was this: Can you do one day? Looking at losing a certain number of pounds, looking at overcoming an addiction just seems too overwhelming to even start. So I don't. But can you, can I, do just ONE day? Yes! I can do ONE day! I can make healthy choices and avoid stress eating for ONE day. I can put God first for ONE day! This is such a scriptural, "duh!" concept! Matthew 6:34 says it like this, "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (NLT) Therefore practical step number 2 is: Just do it for TODAY!
Practical Step Number 3: Because this is not a diet, I'm not doing the programs for weight loss. But you better believe I better have a game plan! Weight Watchers and such have game plans for weight loss. Well, I have a game plan for freedom! The enemy doesn't want me to succeed at this! He is seeking to devour me. He comes that he might steal, kill and destroy. So you better believe without a game plan, I will fail.
Ephesians 6:13 says that we must "take up the full armor of God so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything to stand firm." So step number 3 is put on the full armor of God! The thing about the armor is that there is only one offensive piece...the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. So let's take up our swords! Get sticky notes and put scriptures that you can use when temptation comes to read out loud or speak out loud if you have it memorized so that the enemy has no choice but to RUN! Here are the ones that I am going to write out TODAY and put on my pantry door! If you have scriptures that you are using, please share!! We will build our arsenal together! You're going down satan!
Romans 12:1 "Present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship." (NASB)
Paslm 63:2,5 "I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory...I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods." (NIV)
Praying for all of you who have already posted here or on Facebook and shared that you are on this journey too! Never too late to join us!!!
Before I say this next part, let me say it again: This is NOT a diet! But when you have an addiction to drugs or alcohol, you measure your success one day at a time by the number of days you are clean or sober. That is how you celebrate your victory. This is where food addiction gets tricky! I can't stop eating...well, I could, but I wouldn't last long! And this isn't about not eating! It's about putting food in its proper place....for nourishing my body, not my emotions. So how do we measure success and victory in overcoming a food addiction? When I've asked God this for myself (I won't say this is ALWAYS true and if you are battling food addiction would challenge you to ask God for yourself also), He clearly has given me the answer that when I'm not eating more than my body needs, I will lose weight. The extra weight is from the food I eat to feed my emotions and not my body.
I believe I experienced freedom from food when I was pregnant with Journey. It was amazing! Food did not have the hold on me it does now. I didn't think of eating every time I was overwhelmed or sad or angry or depressed. But somehow in the past 11 weeks, I've walked back into that prison cell, shut the door and hid the key! I know I was freed because I only gained 21 pounds during my pregnancy (as opposed to the 50 and 35 I gained with my other pregnancies), and I lost 30 pounds in three weeks after Journey's birth (as opposed to STILL carrying the baby weight from Both girls - for a total of 85 pounds of "baby weight"- who are now 11 and 5!) Can I tell you how good it felt to be 30 pounds lighter? Amazingly good! But over the past three weeks, the scale is creeping back up....that is a red flag in my life. And as I saw the pounds start to go back on, I analyzed my spiritual life. I started noticing that when I was overwhelmed, I opened the refrigerator or pantry and was looking for comfort. So for me the scale is what God has said I am to use as my "days clean" of addiction. It will be my pounds of victory! I don't have a magic number of pounds (although I will post soon about a goal). I just know that as I walk in victory in this area spiritually, my physical body will be transformed. I am a tangible person...I need a tangible thing to encourage me and to show me if I am successful or not. God has given me the pounds to do that in my freedom walk from food.
Practical Step Number 2: One thing that Beth Moore said on Saturday that was so encouraging was this: Can you do one day? Looking at losing a certain number of pounds, looking at overcoming an addiction just seems too overwhelming to even start. So I don't. But can you, can I, do just ONE day? Yes! I can do ONE day! I can make healthy choices and avoid stress eating for ONE day. I can put God first for ONE day! This is such a scriptural, "duh!" concept! Matthew 6:34 says it like this, "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (NLT) Therefore practical step number 2 is: Just do it for TODAY!
Practical Step Number 3: Because this is not a diet, I'm not doing the programs for weight loss. But you better believe I better have a game plan! Weight Watchers and such have game plans for weight loss. Well, I have a game plan for freedom! The enemy doesn't want me to succeed at this! He is seeking to devour me. He comes that he might steal, kill and destroy. So you better believe without a game plan, I will fail.
Ephesians 6:13 says that we must "take up the full armor of God so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything to stand firm." So step number 3 is put on the full armor of God! The thing about the armor is that there is only one offensive piece...the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. So let's take up our swords! Get sticky notes and put scriptures that you can use when temptation comes to read out loud or speak out loud if you have it memorized so that the enemy has no choice but to RUN! Here are the ones that I am going to write out TODAY and put on my pantry door! If you have scriptures that you are using, please share!! We will build our arsenal together! You're going down satan!
Romans 12:1 "Present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship." (NASB)
Paslm 63:2,5 "I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory...I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods." (NIV)
Praying for all of you who have already posted here or on Facebook and shared that you are on this journey too! Never too late to join us!!!
Freedom from Food: The Beginning
The beginning is a very good place to start! I guess the true beginning is somewhere back in my childhood as early as 10 or 11. But this is a NEW beginning! Praise God He grants those as many times as we need them! I went to a Beth Moore Live event this weekend. It was a simulcast, so many of you may have "been" there too! Every nugget of truth I took from Beth said, God would apply to this issue in my life.
I am a food addict.
Took me years to figure that out and a few more years to admit it to anyone else! But here's the deal, God wants to heal me. He wants to free me from this addiction. He doesn't want me to walk in bondage to food any longer. Being addicted to food is no different than being addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn or any of the other "big" sins (let me clarify here - I know there is no "big" sin....just talking about how society views sin in levels....NOT God!). Food addiction just won't get you arrested and you can't stop cold turkey ~ and you wear food addiction for the world to see like a big scarlet A hanging around your neck.
Food addiction keeps me in just as much spiritual bondage, shame and sin as any of those other addictions would. Food has a place in my heart that belongs to God. I have been set free from my food addiction a couple of times in my life, I truly believe. Food lost its draw. But just like a prison cell door that has been opened, you have to walk through it and out of the prison to be free! And to remain in freedom, you can't turn around and walk right back into that cell because it was what you knew or maybe even more comfortable. I think of my dogs and how they want in their kennel at night when its time to go to bed. They are actually asking to be locked up...why? Because it feels safe to them. And so it is with us many times with the prison cells we have been locked in for years.
But we are deceived! Being in the clutches of the enemy is never safe! The only safety can be found in walking in obedience and relationship with Jesus!
So why blog about this? Well, I asked myself the same question when I was sitting in the seat in the auditorium and felt God saying to get serious and take others with me via my blog. Really, God? Blog about this? Blog about something I don't want to admit to myself, much less all the people who read my blog? And God's answer, why wouldn't you? I quickly reminded him of all the hurtful comments I have gotten over the years on my blog about issues way less personal to me than this one! But God knew in my heart of hearts that my life's desire is to help women to be in close relationship with God and see them mature spiritually. I really have nothing to offer...I'm no Beth Moore! I don't have the amazing knowledge of the Bible that she does..I have a hard time memorizing a single scripture. But I do have a story. I have a story of how God is telling me to get free. I have a story of how many times I have failed to do that. I have a story that is tattered with the wounds brought on by this particular battle in my life. I have a story filled with fear that my story won't have a different ending this time! And God said, share your story!
And that is why I'm sharing! I'm hoping God is asking me to do that because someone else is struggling with this same issue or a similar one, and you need someone to walk with you or to just read words that let you know you're not alone! I'll tell you, my biggest fear with sharing this is I have never really welcomed accountability in this area of my life. I kind of like to handle it on my own so if it doesn't work out I can just pretend I never tried, never heard God say anything about it. Well, the cat's out of the bag! And now, I have just a few accountability partners out there who will be watching me...even if I quit blogging, it wont be hard to SEE if I'm walking in freedom or bondage!
If you are struggling with an addiction - any addiction - and are ready to walk in freedom, let's go! Slip on some boots (I'm from Texas, remember!), and let's start walking! I've got my arm bent with my elbow out ready to link up with you - let's walk out of these prison cells ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!
I will label all of my posts about this struggle with "Freedom from Food" so you can always find them if you click on that label on the side of my blog. If you are going to walk with me, please comment! You don't have to share what your addiction is, but I would love to know someone has linked arms with me and is walking this way too? If you are my Facebook friend, will you comment on the blog instead of Facebook so that those who are not on Facebook can know you are walking with them too? If you don't have a blog and Facebook is the only way you can comment, then go for it! At least I'll know I'm not walking this alone!
Let's go gals! As we say in Texas, these boots were made for walking!!!
I am a food addict.
Took me years to figure that out and a few more years to admit it to anyone else! But here's the deal, God wants to heal me. He wants to free me from this addiction. He doesn't want me to walk in bondage to food any longer. Being addicted to food is no different than being addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn or any of the other "big" sins (let me clarify here - I know there is no "big" sin....just talking about how society views sin in levels....NOT God!). Food addiction just won't get you arrested and you can't stop cold turkey ~ and you wear food addiction for the world to see like a big scarlet A hanging around your neck.
Food addiction keeps me in just as much spiritual bondage, shame and sin as any of those other addictions would. Food has a place in my heart that belongs to God. I have been set free from my food addiction a couple of times in my life, I truly believe. Food lost its draw. But just like a prison cell door that has been opened, you have to walk through it and out of the prison to be free! And to remain in freedom, you can't turn around and walk right back into that cell because it was what you knew or maybe even more comfortable. I think of my dogs and how they want in their kennel at night when its time to go to bed. They are actually asking to be locked up...why? Because it feels safe to them. And so it is with us many times with the prison cells we have been locked in for years.
But we are deceived! Being in the clutches of the enemy is never safe! The only safety can be found in walking in obedience and relationship with Jesus!
So why blog about this? Well, I asked myself the same question when I was sitting in the seat in the auditorium and felt God saying to get serious and take others with me via my blog. Really, God? Blog about this? Blog about something I don't want to admit to myself, much less all the people who read my blog? And God's answer, why wouldn't you? I quickly reminded him of all the hurtful comments I have gotten over the years on my blog about issues way less personal to me than this one! But God knew in my heart of hearts that my life's desire is to help women to be in close relationship with God and see them mature spiritually. I really have nothing to offer...I'm no Beth Moore! I don't have the amazing knowledge of the Bible that she does..I have a hard time memorizing a single scripture. But I do have a story. I have a story of how God is telling me to get free. I have a story of how many times I have failed to do that. I have a story that is tattered with the wounds brought on by this particular battle in my life. I have a story filled with fear that my story won't have a different ending this time! And God said, share your story!
And that is why I'm sharing! I'm hoping God is asking me to do that because someone else is struggling with this same issue or a similar one, and you need someone to walk with you or to just read words that let you know you're not alone! I'll tell you, my biggest fear with sharing this is I have never really welcomed accountability in this area of my life. I kind of like to handle it on my own so if it doesn't work out I can just pretend I never tried, never heard God say anything about it. Well, the cat's out of the bag! And now, I have just a few accountability partners out there who will be watching me...even if I quit blogging, it wont be hard to SEE if I'm walking in freedom or bondage!
If you are struggling with an addiction - any addiction - and are ready to walk in freedom, let's go! Slip on some boots (I'm from Texas, remember!), and let's start walking! I've got my arm bent with my elbow out ready to link up with you - let's walk out of these prison cells ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!
I will label all of my posts about this struggle with "Freedom from Food" so you can always find them if you click on that label on the side of my blog. If you are going to walk with me, please comment! You don't have to share what your addiction is, but I would love to know someone has linked arms with me and is walking this way too? If you are my Facebook friend, will you comment on the blog instead of Facebook so that those who are not on Facebook can know you are walking with them too? If you don't have a blog and Facebook is the only way you can comment, then go for it! At least I'll know I'm not walking this alone!
Let's go gals! As we say in Texas, these boots were made for walking!!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
They Wait Wednesday
I was not at my computer long enough yesterday to make a post, so I'm a day late for "They Wait Wednesday"! But here is a young man who needs a forever home! This is Cody and he is 12.
They have redone TARE and there is not much information on any of the kids now. His says, "I love to spend time with family and work hard to be the best." You can see his entire profile here.
Cody has a special connection to our family as he was in the foster home with Paizley that she live in before moving here. Cody needs a special family that will love him no matter what, forever and always! He has had some disappointments in adoption and needs a family that is fully committed to being there for him...forever!
If you think you might be that family, please e-mail me! He has the same adoption worker as Paizley did and she is AMAZING! If you are interested, we can get more information. And I'm sure Paizley would be happy to share. She has told me he is a really sweet boy who really wants a family. Could you be that dream come true for him?
There are plenty more waiting...check out the TARE website or AdoptUsKids for more who need homes!
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