The Struggle and the Lie

God always challenges me to share my journeys openly...all of my journey! He reminds me that I don't need to just share the great moments of seeing how it all fits together, but also the wrestling and the struggles that get me to the moments of revelation.  So in true transparency, I will share my journey over the past few days with you. 

There is a phrase I often hear when people talk about the challenges they face when saying "yes" to God in any area.  You will often hear people talk of "new level, new devil".  I too have said this in my ignorance of spiritual warfare and the reality of our enemy.  I heard it again just a few days ago, and the hair on the back of my neck came up!  That phrase indicates that the devil has the ability to grow or to gain new insight into us.  That is simply a lie from the pit of hell!  The devil has no new schemes other than those used from the beginning of time. And the truth is when we grow and mature in our relationship with Christ, the enemy loses power!  Now am I saying that when we say yes to a step of obedience in answer to a call of God that the enemy doesn't try to overtake us or discourage us to the point of giving up, absolutely not!  He in fact does just that.  And that's where my journey the past few days has been.

For about a week, I could feel the cloud moving in.  It started with the phrase "you have too many kids" playing over and over in my head.  This is what had been used in court when we were seeking custody of our grandkids.  The enemy has used that phrase to attempt to reek havoc on my confidence and abilities to do what I know without a doubt God called and ordained!  As is his character, the enemy was very sneaky with the attacks at first.  We have started packing for the move.  I used to be an avid scrapbooker!  Callie has four books for her first two years, and Noah has three.  That's where it stops...no one else even has a baby book!  As I was packing my scrapbook supplies, the voices started in: "You will never record all the memories of your kids, you have too many kids!"  "You will never get to do anything you enjoy ever again." "A good mother would have baby books for all of their kids, you obviously have too many."  For whatever reason, I didn't immediately recognize the thoughts for what they were - attacks from the enemy - and I entertained a couple of those thoughts a little too long.  They had taken root.  Over the next few days, I became increasingly discouraged, overwhelmed and increasingly hopeless. I looked at circumstances and felt like I couldn't possibly handle all that was on my plate.  Then I started eating everything in sight!  I might not even be hungry or want anything, but I would find myself eating anyway!  That is truly what woke me up to what was happening!  I remembered a teaching on spiritual warfare that said something to the effect of when you find yourself doing things that  you feel like you can't control, it's a good indicator that you are under attack! That is how the enemy works, he makes us feel like we don't have a say in what we are doing! I started having three and four nightmares a night.  I can't even tell you the last time I had a nightmare before this week!  I knew the enemy had moved in, so I grabbed some tools, one of which was  Spirit Wars by Kris Vallatton. I didn't read more than a page before I had what I needed to combat the enemy!  Kris writes:

"The devil and his demons no longer have the right to torment believers.  But they are lawless criminals of the spiritual realm.  They will break God's laws whenever and wherever they see a lack of authority.  Like the city of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, where thousands of looters ravaged people's homes in the absence of officers policing the streets, demonic spirits will illegally ravage the lives of people in the vacuum of true spiritual authority.  Ignorant Christians create powerless cultures, resulting in the world experiencing an unrestrained devil."

Wow! It was exactly what I had done...I had let the demonic ravage my thoughts!  In the state of physical exhaustion and mental fatigue, I had not been in the Word every day like normal.  The enemy had seen his opening and rushed in!  In essence, I had an unrestrained devil in my mind! However, I am no longer an ignorant Christian!  I immediately put the book down and asked God to reveal what had given the enemy access to my mind and my actions in such a powerful way.  There is usually an area of sin that the enemy enters in through...not always, but I knew there had to be more than just random thoughts for me to find myself as deep in oppression as I felt.  God revealed where the door had been opened. I immediately repented, and served the devil his eviction notice!  He no longer had any power or authority over me and he had to leave...immediately!

In the few days since I evicted him, the thoughts have come back...but I am aware, recognize them for what they are, and dismiss them! I don't entertain them.  I remind myself of truths like I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength or the power that raised Christ from the grave is the same power I possess with in me. I reminded myself when I resist the devil, he will flee!  The lies of the enemy can't hold up to the Truth of the Word, and the lies flee! That's why the "New level, new devil" statement is such a lie!  The enemy wants us to believe it!  If we know we are walking into a battle, we are much less likely to walk! The enemy had me in a place where I was even discouraged about our move.  I was dreading everything about it! If I could've backed out of it, I would have!  If I had continued to entertain his thoughts, I could see myself saying no to many things like the babies or Addy's Hope simply because I don't want a battle.  But all it took to end the battle was replacing lies with the Truth!  It wasn't a one time thing...it's a daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes minute by minute deal!  But all it takes is replacing lies with the truth!  There's no new devil!  Just the same old, non-inventive lying, stealing, cheating devil!  The "new" is my awareness of him and my ability to shut him up!  I am no longer ignorant of his schemes!  I recognize them and shut them down before he has the ability to change my course!

There is a new level...a new level of maturity and awareness that allows me to defeat the enemy and crush him under my feet where he belongs! The enemy never gains power in a believer's life who is growing in relationship with God!  The closer we grow to God the more the enemy is exposed for the lying and cheating thief that he is! So if you are starting a new adventure or taking a step of obedience and begin to feel the attacks, do not accept them as "normal" or what just happens when you live for God! Take the enemy down at the knees, and put him under your foot where he belongs! We Christians need to live in the authority that is ours to shut him up and quit accepting battles because we "expect" them!  Yes, the battles will come.  But you have all power and authority over this earth to stop the battles....USE IT! And I will do the same!