Me, the Freak!

I remember a time when I thought the song "Jesus Freak" was just hard rock. But now, it seems to be my theme song. I have written before about how I feel like an alien in this place we call home. Yet even more today than when I wrote that, I feel like a freak because of my beliefs.

We have been at a family reunion this weekend. It was interesting to say the least. One cousin I had not seen since our wedding almost 11 years ago. She walked up and I instantly saw a beautiful young woman. Now I know that doesn't sound like s strange statement, but she was not what I would normally think of as beautiful. She had long earrings that looked somewhat like chains and hung down to her shoulders. She was in sort of "earthy" clothing and had a tattoo on the top of her foot...along with one on her arm. But as I visited with this cousin, I realized why I found her beautiful, she loves the Lord with her whole heart! She has a countenance about her that makes her beautiful! That tattoo on the top of her foot is the same scripture I named my blog after. So that got me to thinking why someone that the old me would have seen as a little freaky is now so beautiful. And I didn't have to go far to figure it out.

You see, I feel much like her in many ways. I have found myself listening more and more to the "edgy" music. I don't know that it is because I "enjoy" it more, but it seems that not only is the music edgy, but the lyrics reflect lives that are lived on the edge. The lyrics aren't just about a wonderful God that makes our lives warm and cozy (while He can do that, and I love the songs that speak of His wonderful attributes), but they are about a life that is gut wrenching, that takes you to your breaking point just because you follow God in a way that people, even Christians, just don't understand.

So how did "Miss Prim and Proper in the Church Every Time the Doors are Open" become a punk rocker? Well, I think this is how.....

My faith that calls me to adopt children who don't look like me is my green hair.

My obedience to a God that asks me to go to Africa and meet a daughter I didn't get to bring home, but in the end still know I followed God in pursuing is my Mohawk.

My expectation of myself to live a life above reproach (even if that means offending even family members who choose a different life style) is the ring in my nose.

My four children whom I can't afford but have because God told us to bring home number four is the tattoo on my right arm.

My resolve to move to a small West Texas town because I know God has kingdom work for us is the ring making great big holes in my ear lobes.

My hearing God say to buy a house that has set empty for eight years and looks condemned in a tiny town that has NO real estate value is my black lip stick.

My obedience to put my dream home on the market after living in it for less than a year because God says it is time to move is the bar piercing my tongue.

My walk of faith to open an adoption ministry when I know nothing about how to do that is my combat boots.

My love that requires me to confront a friend walking in open rebellion to God is my chain around my hip.

You see, I may still look like Miss "Prim and Proper in the Church Every Time the Doors are Open" on the outside, but I am finding that as people get to know me, they look at me with the same horror because of my convictions as they would someone walking down the street with the physical attributes I described. I am just as much a freak to my family and my friends, who profess to be Christians, as someone who dresses in such a way. But the difference between the old me and the new me is that I am no longer apologizing for being the punk rocker! There is a dying world out there! There are too many hurting people who need Who I have to play the churchy games! Radical times mean radical measures! God is calling me more and more to the lost world! I hear the cries of lost people grow louder and louder. I can't ignore them! I must be more like Jesus every day so that these people crying out in agony because they are lost can see Him in me! I must look more like Him tomorrow than I did today and that means looking less like the world...even the world that goes to church! I want to be used radically by God to reach the lost and dying world! I have a feeling that there will be less and less of Miss Prim and Proper! God is calling me more and more to a place where I have to make a choice: His way or the world's way? Will I follow Him no matter the cost, will I follow Him into more isolation, will I follow Him when no ones "gets" it, or will I walk away? I have to choose to follow Him! There are people counting on me to be Jesus to them! God help me if I choose to be prim and proper over getting into the messy lives of people in need of a Savior! My view of beauty is changing! God is piercing my heart for a lost world......and maybe my nose along with it!