One More Step

Yesterday we took one more step in the journey John and I are on that is stretching us beyond where we've ever been. I talked a little about it here. Yesterday we got more information about the journey. But here is the thing about "information". It is circumstantial, meaning, it is what we can see with our eyes, aka sight. Remember that little verse that we like to throw around: walk by faith and not by sight. So gathering information sometimes seems futile to me. This is one of those times. I knew before we started the gathering that no matter what we found, God has already said to leap! Gathering the information only brought on a huge desire to walk in the flesh and not in the Spirit and ruuuuuunnnnnnnn the other way! I wish I could say I am mature enough to just rest, trust. To gather the information and it not shake my foundation or my faith. I'm not.

At one point, after I battled flesh over several "circumstances", I could feel myself losing the battle. I could feel defeat creeping in. I could feel myself wanting to just throw my hands up and say, "Forget it! There are few if any people I could tell all this to who would give counsel to proceed given all the circumstances! Why am I doing this?!" All the voices of well-meaning Christians were speaking in my ear: "you guys just love stress", "you must be avoiding real issues because you keep turning your life upside down with big things." Of course! That's it! Satan is trying to destroy us by tempting us to do this crazy thing! Let's stop now and pretend the past few weeks and events leading up to this little journey N.E.V.E.R happened!

Whew! Off the hook!

Not so fast! Holy Spirit floods me with all the scripture that speaks to the contrary! What person would have given "Godly" counsel to Abraham to continue with his plan to hall his son up a mountain, tie him to an alter and stab him with a knife? Especially the son who was to be the first of all Abraham's decendants that will out number the stars! If he's dead, he's not likely to produce! Yet that is exactly what God told him to do and because Abraham obeyed God, God blessed him and grew Abraham.

How many people made fun of Noah for building a boat when it had never rained?

How many people who hadn't been visited by the angel truly believed that Mary was pregnant by God's hand?

I know this is one of those times that God is telling me that the world will not understand....and that includes many of my brothers and sisters in Christ because in America, we have watered down the gospel in order to justify our comfortable lives. God couldn't be calling us to something that might stress our marriage or jeopardize the football career my 9 year old has?! Show me in scripture where that holds water?! Yet, isn't that how we live most days?

Even this morning, as I wake up, I am battling flesh. On one hand, I have the butterflies as I stand on the edge and look over the cliff at the leap I am about to take! I can get excited about the free fall....but then my eyes focus on the bottom...WAY...DOWN....THERE!

Then my heart stops! Then I start telling God this can't be what He wants from me. All my shortcomings start flooding my mind! I have never felt more ill equipped for any task than the one God is calling us to right now. I am scared. I am afraid I am taking more than I can handle!

And God says, "Yes, you are! You will ONLY handle this if you trust Me and walk with Me and lean on Me!" But then as I pray and meditate on all that is before me, I realize it will take more than just trusting God! It will take obedience! It will take growth! It will take walking in truth in areas where I tend to walk in flesh, areas that have been struggles for years. It will take being less selfish than I am now. It will take being more humble than I am now.

Trusting God to catch me in order to take the leap is just the first step! I must walk in obedience every second I want to soar. Stepping outside obedience will have major consequences. Some could even cause me to actually hit the ground! Trusting God to leap off the edge is the first step! I must do as the Holy Spirit leads and allow Him to grow me every day of this journey! And that is even scarier than taking the leap!

We have been walking toward the cliff. We are one step closer to the edge....we are close enough to look out over the edge and see the bottom and all the jagged rocks on the way down....but God is still telling us we are to leap, to trust....just a few more steps to go then we will be free falling....stay tuned!