Was it really her?

I got a FB message yesterday.

It wasn't from an FB friend.

It was from someone who had found me.

It was from West Africa.

It was not from Liberia.

It was from Sierra Leone.

It said Eden was asking about me.

Really?

Is she really or are you just lying to me like so many from your land have done?

Did she really ask about me or are you scheming me?

If she really did, can I risk thinking she didn't?

If she really didn't, can I risk thinking she did?

Was in the car with John when I read it.

Asked what he thought.

He doubts it's her.

Wish I could leave it at that.

He asked what I thought.

What do I think?

I remember a little girl who bonded with her new mommy while the other two children who were with new mommies and daddies didn't bond at all.

I remember a little girl who broke loose from the man from her own country, the man who she knew well - she broke loose when she saw me from a distance and ran and jumped in my arms because I hadn't seen her since the night before.

I remember the little girl who was sick. Nearly a year to the day since we had buried her twin sister, Sweet Addy.

I remember that little girl not letting me put her down the last day I was with her.

She would go to no one else.

I remember the time came for me to board the helicopter.

I remember her not letting go.

I remember her starting to whimper.

I remember the whimper turning to a wail as they pried her fingers from the back of my neck.

I remember two hands with ten fingers spread wide reaching for me as I kissed her cheek and promised what I thought was a promise I would keep...I will be back in just a few days and we will go home together!

I remember running to the helicopter.

I remember looking through the tears to see hands still outstretched

I remember a mouth open in a scream, drowned by the whirl of the propellers.

I remember, does she really?

I responded.

I asked questions -

Questions to which I probably really don't want answers -

Questions whose answers I will really never know are true or more lies.

Was it really her? Is it God? He said she was coming home...that is why I fought. Of all that occurred over the course of that 2 year period, that is the remaining thing that haunts me.

I can see how Addy's death, all the heartache and bumps along the journey equipped and educated me to do what I did in Liberia -

But all that could have happened and produced the good God intended,

And she still could have come home.

But she didn't.

He said she would.

She didn't.

Will she?

Was it really her?