Thursday, June 27, 2013

Raising World Changers: The Reality

There was a quote going around a few years ago that I can't find now, but it was about raising world changers.  There have been a couple of events the past week that have reminded me that raising world changers isn't just some catchy phrase, it is a reality.  And often that reality isn't what I had pictured as being a "good mom"!

I put my 13 year old daughter on a plane this week to head half way across the country to my brother and sister-in-law for a couple of weeks.  She was traveling alone.  This trip would require her to change not only planes, but terminals in a large airport.  Our little local airport only has 4 gates...and that's what she is accustomed to.  Not to mention the fact that we rarely ever fly anywhere!  She was equipped with her boarding passes, her map of the airport she would be landing at and her cell phone.  The plan was for me to get a pass to go through security with her here and wait for her plane with her.  When we get to the ticket counter, I realize I left my driver's license in the car in the envelope with the money I had just gotten from the bank.  My heart sank! A voice started in, "What kind of mom are you? You can't even make sure you have what you need to help your daughter!" This is a voice I hear often! I silenced it long enough to finish checking Callie in and get her ready to go.  I told Callie I would text her dad who was driving around waiting for me to be done since we knew they wouldn't let both of us back and ask him to come by with my license so I could go back with her. She said, "no, I can do it." Then the voice starts in again.  We get to the security line and I go over everything with Callie again - this is where your gate is, this is the time you need to be at your gate, this is your seat number, take off your shoes, put them in the tub with your liquids and purse, etc, etc.  Then I watch as my amazing daughter bravely walks through security....alone.  On the other side, she has struck up a conversation with an older lady and they are both smiling from ear to ear.  She goes blurry as my eyes well up with tears and my heart swells with pride! Even in her own nervousness she has found the ability to connect to someone from a totally different generation and bring joy.  I holler one last "Good-bye!" and "I love you!" As she walks out of view, I hear another voice say, "When raising world changers, you can't always hold their hands.  Sometimes you just have to talk them through and pray as they try out their wings! And good moms know when to hold hands and when to watch them fly!"

And my Heavenly Father knew I needed to hear that in that moment!  So many times through this journey of fostering and adoption, the enemy has tormented me with thoughts of failing my children.  I have shared before that there is no way to parent 7 children the way I parented 2.  I can't be the "everywhere, doing everything mom" that I wanted to be when I pictured myself as a mom.  I struggle with that more at some times than others.  Probably the hardest time was when we adopted from the foster system.  I was in a Bible study at the time where the talk often turned to protecting our children.  I believe in protecting my children.  What the other moms said made sense.  Many put their children in private schools or home schooled them to protect them from what they would be exposed to in school.  We talked about shows that we would or would not allow our children to watch.  It all sounded great.  There was only one problem...while these moms were protecting their children from the influences of the world, I had just invited the "world" into my home through a child who had never been protected.  She in-turn, at no fault of her own, would expose my children to the very things my friends were diligently working to protect their children from.  I would go home and cry after many of these discussions...tormented by what I had done, but knowing full well God had called us to do this.  I just couldn't reconcile the "good mom" role with what God was asking me to do.

The problem was that my "good mom" role was based on an Americanized view of parenting that says children should never hurt and should never be exposed to anything that might hurt them or even cause discomfort. Don't confuse what I am saying with putting your child in harms way physically or staying in an abusive relationship because it is building character.  That is not what I am saying at all!  But what God showed me as I watched my daughter walk by herself toward the gate to board a plane is that all she has gone through and all she is doing now is to prepare and equip her for the path God has for her! She is a world changer!  And world changers put themselves at risk! World changers know how to be hurt and forgive! World changers have to know how to handle disappointment! World changers have to know how to look a big task in the face and do it anyway! World changers have to face fears head on and walk through them!

Back in the car, headed home, I get a text..."I am at my gate!"  I respond, "Sorry again that I didn't have my license to go back with you."  And the confirmation of what God had already spoken, "It's ok.  Doing it by myself gave me the confidence I needed."  And with that I knew my World Changer had SOARED on this test flight! And I also knew God wasn't just equipping her...he was equipping me....you see I have five more World Changers coming up right behind her!