Let's bring Liberia to Texas!

Which one of these children is yours?

Ok, if you didn't get to watch Oprah today, then ask me for the tape! It is my life story told by another woman! Crazy to hear your own thoughts coming from a woman that you have never met and know that God has placed the same burden in her heart as he has mine!

Sooooo got me to thinking....what kind of impact would a church the size of Stonegate have on a country like Liberia if God called each family to bring home just one of His children from there.....well, last year (2006) there were 353 immigrant visas issued to children being adopted from Liberia in the US. Stonegate has way more than 1000 families. We could easily triple, if not quadruple that number! We could literally turn a country around! What if all those children returned to Liberia when they are adults with the training and skills they learn here? They could farm the land, set up road systems, drill water wells, open medical clinics, plant churches.....the list is endless. There could be a true revolution in Liberia! Watch out families of Stonegate....I have a specific prayer now!

God, open the eyes of the families of Stonegate to the needs of the children of Liberia. For those families that you are calling to bring one of these children home, may they step out in faith. May they know the joy and hope of your calling to adopt and may they walk in it. Put those of us who have a heart for adoption in the path of those who need to hear our stories to spark that fire in them. When the fire is sparked show us how to fan it into a flame. I pray that the children of Liberia will be brought to Midland, Texas to be trained as your warriors to return one day to Liberia and other parts of Africa to set that continent free from the evil oppression it is under! Thank you for allowing me to be just a spec in your plan!

They are all going to HOLLYWOOD!

Well, we survived our American Idol party! The kids had a blast! I can't believe Callie is 7 years old! She had more boys than girls at her party! I am NOT ready for this! We had some real stars, and the kids had a blast! Here are some pics of our evening with the stars!

Sleepover Swap!

Well, I have officially cut my first apron strings with my daughter! (My oldest daugther that is!) She had her first sleepover last night. Her friend Addy came and spent the night...well evening! About 11:30, she said she missed her mom. We had planned for just such an event, so I called her mom and told her I was bringing her home.

When we got there, she asked if Callie could stay with her. So, with very little thought, I agreed. Callie was in her pj's with no shoes or a coat in 32 degree weather! So I went to the car and gave her a piggy back ride to the door. She was so excited! I got back in my car and had a panick attack! What had I just done?! With very little thought, I had just left my most prized possesion in the custody of someone who is not family (wonderful people, but still not related)! Snip, snip! There went that string! I know it is time, but man, its' hard.

I hear God saying, now is as good a time as any to learn to trust Me with her! Yes, God! And she is having a marvelous time I am sure!

Loving God more

Ok, you know when you read a familiar scripture, but a whole new meaning pops off the page...that is what happened to me this week. I have been contemplating it ever since!

Matthew 10:37 and 38 say that I must love God more than my father, mother and children or I am not worthy of being His. Them there are pretty strong words! But as I read that this week, I thought about Eden! I get this scripture now! It has gone from head knowledge to life application!

When I came home with out Eden, I had to reconcile that Eden coming to live with us right now just isn't God's plan. So the bottom line was, did I love Eden more than God? Did I truly want to please God, or did I only want to please Him as long as the outcome was positive? If I love God more than Eden, then her not coming home is just part of His bigger picture. The anger, frustration, and inability to trust God kind of fade away. The hurt of losing a daugther is still there, and my heart still aches for her, but God understands that...in fact, He knows it personally. His Son hung on a tree for me!

I thought more about this scripture and went back to when we adopted Noah. Up to that point, I had never done anything that truly went against my parents wishes and advice. I still, even as an adult, longed for their approval. But I remember standing in the kitchen crying with John, not understanding why my parents didn't see the reason why we were pursuing an adoption of this little baby that needed family and I said, to John, "if it comes down to my mother or God, Mom doesn't have a chance." That is what Matthew is talking about here. It's not that I disrespect my parents or that I want to go against them, but ultimatly I love God more and it is His approval I must seek not any man....including my parents!

It gave me a new challenge to love God more! More than my children, more than my parents, more than my children to come! When I get ansy about wanting more children, I need to remember this scripture. I love God more and must wait patiently for His perfect timing! Right now I have lost as many children as I have in my home, and He may call me to let go of more....but ultimately the question is, who do I love the most? I hope I always answer, GOD!

Is fear paralyzing me from what God has for me?

I want to a small groups conference in Chicago at Willowcreek back in October. There were several w0nderful speakers, but one in particular hit home with me. His name is Erwin McManus and he is the pastor of a congregation in CA called Mosaic (cool name for a church, huh?) Well, he is now my new favorite author! I bought his book Chasing Daylight while we were at the conference, and it has blown me away! I love his take on things. So the quotes in this post are from this book...I HIGHLY encourage you to pick up a copy and read it! Especially if you feel fear is keeping you from God's best!

The whole book is based on what McManus calls the Jonathan factor. He basis it on the story of Jonathan when he takes his armor-bearer and just the two of them go up against the Philistines by themselves because he takes a risk and believes God's promise to give them the land.

McManus says, "To the best of my understanding, faith is trusting God enough to obey what He has said, and hope is having the confidence that God will do everthying He has promised. One pushes you; the other pulls you. They lead you into the wonder of experiencing divine moments. But without question, in between faith and hope, there is risk."

I LOVE that! See, I grew up in a home where you don't take risks...period! If you don't know the outcome will be good, then you don't do it. Now, I grew up in a Christian home with wonderful parents. But they are very legalistic! They do not have a concept of blind faith. This thought process has definitly impacted my adulthood. I am just now understanding what it means to walk by faith and not by sight, and frankly, it scares the holy cow out of me!

But as I hear God calling me to things like processing adoptions out of Liberia, there are HUGE risks! I believe so many times we as Christians want the big miracles and the power of God in our lives, but we are not willing to take the risks to get there! God is teaching me to take the risks! We want to stay in our comfortable lives and just exist with God showing up now and then to work a miracle and fix an uncomfortable situation. We are not willing to hand our lives to Him and say, whatever, wherever, whenever! We are not willing to start the journey without knowing the ending! That is not how God operates....frankly that is not faith!

McManus talks more about that: "Life is full of high boards [he is refering to an experience when he was a child of being scared to jump off the hight diving board], the place we stand where we realize that the altitude is higher than we expected. The place where there is no neutral - we either go forward or go backward. Many times this becomes the dividing line, the line that separates those who see their divine opportunity and those who seize their divine opportunity." I see that as where I am in my life! God is calling me to obedience in many areas. He is asking me to walk on the water. I can sit in the boat and lead a more comfortable life, or I can get up at 5 in the morning to make sure I have plenty of time to spend with Him and exercise before my family wakes up, I can close the agency, or I can receive calls at 4 in the morning or on Christmas Eve to talk about papers that need to be processed for children in need of a family. I can say I am finished and quit, or I can continue to move forward even when papers come back with wrong names, or I hit wall after wall when trying to get answers from government agencies in order to do things correctly. (You have to love it when the government doesn't have answers to their own policies and regulations!) I may not always have the answers, but neither did Jonathan, "what we find in Jonathan's plan is not a shrewdly laid-out war plan. He was a servant who was convinced that God was more than ready to act."

I have referenced many times that I feel this is the year that I will leave the wilderness (a wilderness that I have been in because God has been growing me, but also because I was unwilling to walk in obedience in some areas). So I loved when McManus said, "Their journey stretched to forty years as a result of the wrong choices they made while they wandered in the wilderness. God's calling and promise to them were clear, yet their response shaped how the journey played out." As I think about the promise land that lays before me and as I have already faced many chalenges in the short 2007 that we have already had, I can relate with the following excert: "If the opponents were taller, stronger, more powerful and more numerous than [the Isrealites] were, that was God's problem. They had a calling to go and a promise to receive. The land was theirs if they would only take it. God would give them victory in the battle, but He would not fight their battle for them." Wow! So many times I am afraid of how I will look if I fail....but I am learning to say to God, this is your call, I walked in obedience, so this is your problem! And you know what, He usually provides the answer just after that! All He is wanting is for me to get over myself and rely solely on HIM!

McManus talks about the concept that you go unless God says stop...you don't wait for the perfect plan, you just keep advancing until He stops you...."There are certain things that you do not need permission to do. You've already been commissioned to do them. There are certain things that you do not need a calling to do. You've already been commanded to do them."

There are so many more things I would love to share with you, but this is turned into a novel already! So let me leave you with these questions that chalenged me:

"Is it possible that you have been fleecing your divine moments rather than seizing them? That you've said to God, 'I'm not doing anything, risking anything or going anywhere until You give me a sign?' Have you chosen to live in safety, comfort, and convenience, justifying this lifestyle because God hasn't called you to a different life?" For me it is has God not called me, or have I just not been listening?

"for a follower of Christ, what it means to live on the edge is to stand at the epicenter of where the kingdom of God confronts the kingdom of darkness".....I love that! I want to live on the edge! I want to walk in the calling God has placed on my life and complete the good works He has prepared in advance for me to do! I want to step out of my comfort zone, and I will advance until GOD says stop!

Memories....

One of my favorite pictures of Eden..one of the few smiles I got from her!

My friend Crystal told me about a blog. http://thebeautifulfeet.blogspot.com/ I knew I shouldn' t have looked, but it is too late now! This is a story of a family who is adopting form Sierra Leone. The mother with the 6 children are living at Family Kingdom in Freetown, Sierra Leone. As I read her posts, I was transported to June 2005 and my time in Freetown! We would go to Family Kingdom to get a coca-cola light (aka: Diet Coke!) As I think back on it, it really seems like a dream! Did I really go there? Did all that really happen? I e-maled Juli (the author of the blog) and I will be anxious to see if I hear back from her.

I have to admit that reading her blog made me wonder yet again if we did enough! Should I go live there for 6 months? I could do it! She makes it sound so wonderful! She is there with 6 kids, and she makes it sound so easy! I could do it with 4 kids, right? Good thing my mom isn't invited to read this because she would have just dropped dead of a heart attack just reading that last statement!

I miss Eden so much. I thought time would make it easier, but honestly I miss her more now than I did when I first came home. The feel of her wiry hair under my chin as she sat on my lap...the look of her dark hand laying on my white arm....her contagious laugh when I would tickler her...that one time that she called me mommy.....how proud I was the first time she handed the gum wrapper ( she LOVED gum) to me instead of throwing it down on the floor! The time I took her into the bathroom at the hotel and turned the water on for her to wash her hands, not thinking that she had never seen running water! She was fascinated and stood there just turning the water off and on!

God, protect her! Hide her from the evil that surrounds her in her homeland. Strengthen her grandmother and provide for their needs. My heart breaks for her, but I know you hold her in your hand and you have covered her with your feathers! Thank you for that comfort!

The last picture of us taken right before I left for the helicopter. She was sick this day and spent the whole time in my lap!

The first time mother and daughter met!

Parting the waters......

As I was spending time with God this morning, I was reading in Joshua. I truly believe that 2007 will be the year that I cross over, out of the wilderness and into the promised land in many areas of my life. But I also know that 'crossing over' will not come with out battles, perseverance, and sacrifice on my part. I was struck by something I read about the Isrealites this morning. I had never picked up on the fact that when the priests walked into the Jordan, they stayed on the dry land while the rest of the Isrealites walked through. The dry land (the place to cross the raging waters) was in the prescence of God almighty! This just reminded me in a very real and visual way that I must be in God's prescence in order to overcome the battles in my life! I have a name that is all powerful that I simply have to call on and He will come to my aid and rescue! Yet, so many times I just jump into the raging water on my own strength instead of calling on Him, and waiting for the waters to part! So today, I am going to approach each battle that comes my way by stopping, calling on His name, and watching the waters part!

God, thank you for your word that encourages and refreshes! It truly is water to my soul!

You got to love babies!

Well, it is 4:30 AM, and I am up with Ava! She is wide awake and has been for about an hour. Ugh! I am so tired! Wish I could explain that to her, but at 7 (almost 8) months, she just doesn't get it!

I didn't get to bed until after midnight. John and I were up discussing our families future and what God has for us. Does it amaze anyone else that God put two people who couldn't be more polar opposites together then expects them to live as partners in harmony? John is perfectly content with the three children we have, and I have the desire for many more! How do you reconcile that?

After a day of seeing God answer prayers in regard to the agency, I ended the day completely defeated. How does that happen? Can there ever be a day where the enemy just leaves us alone? As I sat last night begging God to just let me lead a "normal" life, a life where all I have to be concerned with are my husband, my children, and my home, he reminded me of the awesome analogy demonstrated during our church service Sunday. It was an awesome analogy of what God and Christ did for us on the cross. By the end of the service, I was sobbing over the sacrifice Jesus made...a sacrifice made whether we choose to accept or decline His free gift of salvation that He offers! He left the perfect heavens to come to earth, go to the cross, beaten, mocked, humiliated, and I have the audacity to ask Him for a more comfortable life?

Well, I have a fussy little girl at my feet, so maybe that means she will go back to sleep now so I can sleep a few minutes before the rest of the family needs to get up!

Good bye 2006!

It's officially 2007! Happy New Year everyone!

Goals for the new year:

• wake up at 5 am in order to have my quite time and exercise done before the family wakes up!
• become better stewards of our finances! The credit cards are put away and we are on a cash only basis! Total reliance on God to provide! I have a feeling there maybe some days of beans and cornbread in our future when I am not disciplined in the beginning of the month....
• eat healthy! With this will come the weight loss I need to have the energy to carry out all God needs me to in a day to be faithful to His calling.
• get organized! My friend Melonie is helping me out with this! Thanks Melonie!!
• spend time everyday with my children in The Word
• have a devoted time to work the adoption agency from home so that I am ready when God moves in order for more children to come home through Addy's Hope and so that we can be a sorce of funds for the children remaining in Liberia to have a better life! My friends Debora and Krista are helping me out here! Thanks gals! Also Emily and Crystal! They are my fellow volunteers in this endeavor, encouraging me when things seem to fall apart! Also Karen! She inspires me every time I talk to her!
• spend more one on one time with each of my children
• spend more time with John (without children!)

There are so many more! Those are just a few of the high points...I am sure I will add more. I am excited about how my life will change when I put these things into practice. I always ask God for a verse for the year...last year it was Be still and know that I am God. Which would prove to be vital when I went through the post pardom depression and literally had to pray with each step my feet took in order to walk! This year, I am still listening, but one that I know I will hold onto for 2007 is Ex 16:28, "How long do you refuse to keep My commandments and My instructions?" I feel God has given me so many insights into how to improve our family and walk in obedience, yet I refuse to just do it! So 2007 is the year to just do it!