Well, it is 4:30 AM, and I am up with Ava! She is wide awake and has been for about an hour. Ugh! I am so tired! Wish I could explain that to her, but at 7 (almost 8) months, she just doesn't get it!
I didn't get to bed until after midnight. John and I were up discussing our families future and what God has for us. Does it amaze anyone else that God put two people who couldn't be more polar opposites together then expects them to live as partners in harmony? John is perfectly content with the three children we have, and I have the desire for many more! How do you reconcile that?
After a day of seeing God answer prayers in regard to the agency, I ended the day completely defeated. How does that happen? Can there ever be a day where the enemy just leaves us alone? As I sat last night begging God to just let me lead a "normal" life, a life where all I have to be concerned with are my husband, my children, and my home, he reminded me of the awesome analogy demonstrated during our church service Sunday. It was an awesome analogy of what God and Christ did for us on the cross. By the end of the service, I was sobbing over the sacrifice Jesus made...a sacrifice made whether we choose to accept or decline His free gift of salvation that He offers! He left the perfect heavens to come to earth, go to the cross, beaten, mocked, humiliated, and I have the audacity to ask Him for a more comfortable life?
Well, I have a fussy little girl at my feet, so maybe that means she will go back to sleep now so I can sleep a few minutes before the rest of the family needs to get up!
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2 comments:
You have no idea how much your words show a passion that only can be given by God. God will not abandon you the enemy is not stronger then our God!! Eden has the privledge of having someone plead on her behalf before the throne of Jesus and thats more then most.
HollyAnn,
Remember you are loved and that God is still working it all together for your good. I will pray about the additions to the Petree Family! Sometimes God speaks to each spouse in his own time. Show John grace and give him time. He loves you very much, of that I am sure.
Praise God you have such a love for these children in Liberia! Thank God for your beautiful family, you truly are blessed. God has not forsaken you and he alone will see you through! I am praying as always! Tell me when you can go to Liberia and unless I am pregnant or nursing I am with you all the way! You are loved and you are being heard- Crystal
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