Ok, you know when you read a familiar scripture, but a whole new meaning pops off the page...that is what happened to me this week. I have been contemplating it ever since!
Matthew 10:37 and 38 say that I must love God more than my father, mother and children or I am not worthy of being His. Them there are pretty strong words! But as I read that this week, I thought about Eden! I get this scripture now! It has gone from head knowledge to life application!
When I came home with out Eden, I had to reconcile that Eden coming to live with us right now just isn't God's plan. So the bottom line was, did I love Eden more than God? Did I truly want to please God, or did I only want to please Him as long as the outcome was positive? If I love God more than Eden, then her not coming home is just part of His bigger picture. The anger, frustration, and inability to trust God kind of fade away. The hurt of losing a daugther is still there, and my heart still aches for her, but God understands that...in fact, He knows it personally. His Son hung on a tree for me!
I thought more about this scripture and went back to when we adopted Noah. Up to that point, I had never done anything that truly went against my parents wishes and advice. I still, even as an adult, longed for their approval. But I remember standing in the kitchen crying with John, not understanding why my parents didn't see the reason why we were pursuing an adoption of this little baby that needed family and I said, to John, "if it comes down to my mother or God, Mom doesn't have a chance." That is what Matthew is talking about here. It's not that I disrespect my parents or that I want to go against them, but ultimatly I love God more and it is His approval I must seek not any man....including my parents!
It gave me a new challenge to love God more! More than my children, more than my parents, more than my children to come! When I get ansy about wanting more children, I need to remember this scripture. I love God more and must wait patiently for His perfect timing! Right now I have lost as many children as I have in my home, and He may call me to let go of more....but ultimately the question is, who do I love the most? I hope I always answer, GOD!
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I just "rediscovered" this same verse the other day! I realized do I love God more then my desire to adopt this next one from Liberia. If I do then I must trust in His promises regardless of what I want. Isn't it awesome when God reopens your eyes.
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