Was I in an orphanage? Part 2

Well, Noah didn't forget about the pictures and yesterday, with John and I, he saw his sweet bio mother's face for the first time. He teared up and got sad because he says he misses her so much. I of course became defensive! I hate that feeling! I am an adult! Why does a child's emotions about a mother who gave him life bring that out in me?! Anyway, John, the ever loving, non-emotional man that he is, offered to put the picture in a frame in his room. What?!!!! You want to put the 'nother mother in his room?! I wanted to deck him! Ok, I will admit John had the "right" response, but I still wanted to deck him! Luckily, God was gracious to me even in my jealousy and Noah just said he wanted the pictures in his baby scrapbook that he LOVES to look at so tha the can see them when he wants to! Ok, now I feel better! :)

It is crazy that I would get so defensive. But he is MINE! I am the one who has had to deal with the anger, who wipes the hiny and the tears! I am the one who has to explain why he is living with us instead of the mother who grew him in her tummy. I have to say that I used to have no sympathy for bio mothers. I know it sounds like I still don't! That is not true. Just a mommy trying to deal with a sons questions that bring up fears and scary thoughts of life later. Just dealing with my own insecurities as a mommy (thank you all for your kind comments in part one of this post!).

Honestly, God taught me so much when I met NOah's birth mom. There were some things that made me really dread meeting her. But when I met her, I was overcome with love and compassion! Here sat a woman who lived life the only way she knew how. God taught me so much in that moment about my world! It was the beginning of lessons I would need to work in Liberia, West Africa. I cannot look at everyone through the eyes of my middle class, white, American world. No, the choices this young lady made did not make sense to me. But as I sat adn visited with her, I realized that in her world, they made perfect sense! They were all she knew!

So the pictures will go in the Scrapbook and Noah will know that a precious young mother mad the most selfless decision she could ever make and gave him a life that she could not. He will know that God ordained him for our family and we are so thankful. We pray for his mother. We will always pray for her. And one day, if Noah feels the need to know her, I will stand beside him as we find her and welcome her into our family as God welcomed me into His!