Well, today was a wonderful mother's day. But as I sat in church this morning, those familiar thoughts went through my mind. Why can I not conquer the weight? How much better mom would I be if there were 100 pounds less of me? Yes, I was able to crawl in the Chuck E. Cheese tubes last night, I haven't lost that, but I can't imagine how much more energy at the end of the day I would have it I carried around 100 pounds less through out the day.
So I got to thinking. In one year from now, where could I be in my weight? I have always heard that 2 pounds a week is healthy weight loss. That would mean I could lose 104 pounds in a year. So that means I could be at my goal weight by this time next year! I could lose Noah, Toben and Ava...I know how badly my back hurts when I have to carry Toben or Ava around for a little while and how tired that makes me. When I think that my excess body weight is the same as carrying all three of them on my back, that just sounds in sane! Oh how much better I would feel with out them on my back all day! :)
So next year for Mother's Day, I want to give my children a gift. I want to give them less of me! I want give them a mom that has the energy to get through the day with out being grumpy by dinner because I am so exhausted I can barely put one foot in front of the other. I want to give them a mom who can run around the park with them and not be winded after a couple of laps. I want to give them a mom who is all the God has called her to be which is not "skinny" but healthy and walking in obedience in the area of food.
I also have a little alterior motive for wanting to lose weight. John, if you are reading this, just skip this paragraph! I don't want you having a panick attack on me! :) On this mother's day, I really reflected on ALL my children...the four who live with me, the one I lost to a miscarriage before Callie and of course Eden and Addy. I also pondered future children. Everyone says you know when you are "done", and I can't imagine being done! As we celebrated Ava's second birthday, my heart just about burst with the desire for another biological child. I would love to adopt again too, but I love being pregnant and experiencing all that means. But the next time I am pregnant, I want to be one of those cute pregnant women! I don't want to have to buy larger size women's clothes because no maternity clothes fit. I want to have the cute little bump of pregnancy instead of barely showing because the baby can't be seen through the layers of fat. I know if God (and John) allow me to have the experience of another pregnancy, it will most probably be my last one. I want to be skinny when I start! Since Ava is two and I am 34, another pregnancy needs to occur in the next year or two if we are going to do that. So I need to get this weight off!
So Mother's Day 2009, I will give my kids a mother who is at her goal weight and more of a mom because there is less of me there!
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3 comments:
Hey HollyAnn! I'm with you! I have started excercizing in the morning first thing...or I won't do it. And I try to walk in the evening with Duane. What has gotten me out of bed, is that I use this time to be with God. And when I get bored with the routine I do something else that sounds fun...but center it with God. Last Saturday I went for a very fast walk with my walkman on listening to Chris Tomlin, lifting my hands to God, running and dancing as I praised him...luckily it was before the neighborhood was awake! I did a Beth Moore study - the fruits of the spirit. I encourage you to at least take that study, and do the last week on self-control and listen to the DVD on that week...that's what changed me! Love you! Karen
Bless your heart. Pray ... God will help you do it!
You go HollyAnn! Let me know if you need any moral support from Colorado. I am so there for ya! Your goal is totally achievable and you are a strong woman, so go for it!
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