The biggest threat to my ministry...

Some might say the biggest threat to my ministry is the bureaucracy of both the US and Liberian governments. Some might say it is money, but truly, the biggest threat to my ministry is pride! I will have to go back and see who said this at the Orphan Summit (if any of you readers remember, post a comment and give credit where credit is due), but a quote that struck me and has stuck with me is, "To solve this orphan crisis we will have to work as a Body. We will have to lay our egos and our logos at the door!" Wow! Think about what that means! How true that is!

I can immediately think of several people/organizations who have missed out on God moments because they were unwilling to work in conjunction with others, or they had to have their name all over it in order to complete it, and I am not sure God will always bless that kind of work.

But before I look "out there", I have to look "in here"! I believe in the Body of Christ! I believe that everything God intends to accomplish here on the earth, He will do to completion through the Body. There might be denominations or individual churches that will accomplish much, but I believe the "BIG" God movements will be seen when organizations, churches, denominations and individuals check their egos and their logos at the door and work together to accomplish much!

This sounds easy. But I will tell you it is way harder than you think! It means daily checking your ego at the door, and then sometimes rechecking it when you realize you reclaimed it before the party was over! I think I am doing so good at checking my ego, then I will read a comment or receive an e-mail and I feel that pit in my stomach because someone else is getting credit for what I have done, or someone is taking credit for something that would not be possible with out the work I have done. But when the pit comes, I know it is time to hit my knees! Who cares if someone takes credit for what I have done? If I did it for God, He knows what I have and have not done (He also knows the heart with which I do it - scary!), so why do I care what people think? As the Word says, the flesh must be crucified! I hope at some point, my response will just be overwhelming joy that a task has been done that has lessened someone's suffering or has brought someone to Christ! No credit needed!

I have seen pride ruin many a people in my type of ministry. I believe almost all adoption professionals who open Christian agencies begin with the right heart. Most of them have the same story we do: failed or difficult or outrageously expensive adoption and God calls them to enter the adoption ministry to do it better. The problem is, somewhere along the way, they start looking at all their ministry has accomplished. They look at all the notches on their belt and they are proud. I am still learning the balance between being proud of myself and given myself credit for what I am doing in order to recognize the impact and becoming prideful to the point that the fall will come (Prov 16:18)!

What brought this thought process on? Well, I had a conversation about birth moms this past weekend. That was the start of it...then today's chapter of Dangerous Surrender was "Mirrors Don't Lie." In it Kay Warren says, "We must see ourselves, not as separate from others - better, more educated, more cultured, more sophisticated, more civilized, less sinful, less evil, less prone to violence, less likely to cause harm - but as identical to them in our capacity to do evil. Otherwise, we end up serving others from a position of pride, congratulating ourselves for our noble sacrifices rather than coming alongside a fellow stumbler and offering not our wholeness but our brokenness." I see in non-profits, and even adoptive parents occasionally, this idea that we in America have so much to offer those in places like Liberia! If they could just soak up all we have to offer, their problems would be solved. These people who have this attitude have a great heart! They see a hurting people and they want them to not hurt. But the problem with seeing it this way is that it is a prideful out look! I have so much to offer them!

I would have to admit and confess that when we started Addy's Hope, I felt the same way. If only we could get Americans over there to run our home, if they just understood all we do...some of that is true. We have some knowledge that would improve the running of orphanages, etc. But to look at their entire lifestyle and say we have more to offer is prideful and frankly wrong! There are many aspects of Liberian life that I want to imitate in my own family! Their faith and trust in God is amazing! Even the most baby Christian there has more faith and trust in God than I do in all my maturity (don't know how else to word that..sounds very prideful...hopefully you understand that I mean!).

The point I am making...I have to guard against pride! If you know me at all you know the last few years have been very difficult! Every area of my life is a battle. There is truly not a single area right now that is easy, and it has been that way for the past at least five years. But as I am pealing back the layers of this truth, I wonder if pride is not the reason why!

Everyone says praying for humility is dangerous! I would agree! But even knowing that, I have prayed that prayer many times, and most certainly prayed it during the times of greatest success of Addy's Hope. I pray it because I see those who have gone before that let pride take over...I want to learn from that.

God has told me for the past few weeks to go to Job and read. I have been rebellious and told Him no. I didn't want to hear about a man who suffered like that..for a lot of reasons! One of the biggest is that I don't want to see how much worse it could get! And as I read this morning, the verses in the Bible that haunt me the most were in the text, "Have you considered my servant Job?" Why? Why would God call out a particular one of his saints for Satan to sift like wheat? That completely undoes me! What kind of loving and protecting God would do that? Well, as I have wrestled with that, I think this post might just be the answer for my sifting...PRIDE! Even if I am not prideful now, God could very well be keeping me from that point by keeping me in the "sifting" mode in order to remind me that I don't take a breath with out the permission of God Almighty! And any success I might be honored to achieve whether in my family, my ministry or my personal goals is because God has allowed it and the glory is all HIS!