A New Motherly Feeling this Mother's Day

I have spent seven Mother's Days as an adoptive mom. I always thought of Noah's birthmom on those days, well those among others! She had her tubes tied right after Noah was born, so unless she has step children or the tubal didn't take, she does not have children to celebrate with on Mother's Day. I am always thankful for the gift she gave me in Noah. I am always thankful she chose life for him as she had already aborted three babies. I have nothing but the utmost respect for the woman who bore Noah. She had a hard life. She didn't know how to have what it took to raise a baby. I understand that. But since she is in America, I always knew that if she had decided to parent any of her children, she would have been given WIC and HUD housing. She had options.



This is not the same for Toben's mom. Probably the most common question in Toben's story is where are his parents. I have commented before that I find it ironic no one really asks that about Noah, but it is usually the first question when talking about Toben.



When I went back to Liberian in February and visited Toben's village, I was changed....forever! When Toben's mom threw down the container she was carrying on my head and ran into my arms, almost tackling me despite the fact that she is almost half my size, I was humbled in a way I had never known! She hadn't even seen pictures of Toben yet. She just responded that way to seeing me. She cried and danced, praising God! Then when she saw Toben's pictures, she started all over again! I was speachless! I just stood there smiling not even knowing what to say.

That encounter has totally changed me! It changes the way I look at Toben! I have never felt the need to "share" Noah...he is mine! But I feel differently with Toben. His mother didn't have ANY resources except to let him go. No government was going to help her raise her children. She saw an opportunity for her two boys (Toben has a bio brother adopted by a family in Dallas) to have a future she never had! When I came home, I hugged Toben for me AND for her! Now when I look at Toben, I see her face! He looks quite a bit like her! I feel a responsibility to her to make sure I love him all that I can and teach him the best I can and make sure he knows the Word. I never felt that, and honestly, still don't towards Noah's mom.

This Mother's Day, I went to a tea they had at Toben's school. They had all made gifts and they were wrapped by our placemats. As Toben unwrapped his, so excited for me to see it, I almost lost it! I had this overwhelming sorrow! This gift should be hers! She should be receiving this from Toben! It totally took me off guard! Like I said, I have never had these feelings toward Noah's mom - right or wrong, that is just how it is.

So this Mother's Day, I took time to pray for a young mother half way around the world who spends her days in a field trying to care for the two children who still live with her. Praying that she has peace and knows in her heart that her boys are loved and cared for! Praying that I will do good by her...that I will honor her decision by being the best mommy Toben could ever hope for!

There are days I fail miserably at that, I sure she would understand, but most days, I look in his face....her face....and know that I have a tremendous responsibility! And I can't wait to see her again and tell her all about all the things he has done! And I will forever be grateful that she allowed me the joy of being Toben's mom!