New Perspective

The title of today's chapter in Dangerous Surrender was "An Unexpected Bond." It has given me a new perspective.

Kay Warren talks about going into a depression because of the brokenness and hopelessness she saw day in and day out as she traveled the world learning all she could about HIV/AIDS in order to be an effective advocate.

Funny, but I have found that most Christians who enter into some kind of sold out ministry for Christ eventually deal with deep depression. That has always baffled me a bit...really baffled me before I suffered from it, but even now that I have experienced it myself, it is a source of frustration and mystery how someone laying down her cross daily (well almost!) and walking in faith and obedience does not even come close to experience the abundant life Jesus promises for such devotion. Today's chapter has given me LOTS of food for thought!

Listen to this! "You now get to taste just a portion of the anguish God feels about our broken world. If you let it, this will bring you into a deeper communion with him as you begin to share in the sufferings of Christ. He suffers for our world. Now you have been allowed the privilege of joining in his pain and sorrow. You and Jesus will weep together." That sounds simple, right?! But when you see devastation time and again, when you look into the eyes of hopeless people time and again with no answers for them, when the efforts you make to try and change the world for these people are seemingly blocked from every angle, you begin to lose hope, you enter into despair, and if you are me, you blame God and get very angry at Him for not showing up! But this new perspective is that Jesus is suffering with me! Why has that thought not really occurred to me before? Well, partly because I am a self-centered, flesh filled human! And Kay talks about taking on the "I will save the world" mentality. We don't do it on purpose, but when you are confronted with that kind of despair over and over, you feel like, "I have to do something!" I have e-mails almost weekly, well they have tapered off now, from grown men in Liberia who call me "mother". Why? Because they see me as a provider, a care taker. After four years of having to tell them, I can't do anymore than I already am, and feeling horrible for not being able to change their reality, I get discouraged. I don't want to write them encouraging e-mails anymore...I just want them to leave me alone. That's Christ-like, huh?!

But this new perspective is that God is allowing me to see this so that I can enter into a whole new level of communion with Him! I can be broken over the world like He is. Then I can work with Him to impact their brokenness with the Truth of Him. This is going to take some time to ponder and soak in! If I'm rambling its because you guys are witnessing my thought process here...scary, huh?!! :)

She talks about how looking at it from this perspective means to love God passionately and deeply would automatically lead to my heart being broken, which in my flesh leads to "Take on the world by yourself!" She shares that with that attitude, I am "inadvertently cheating myself our of the consolation and comfort available to me through sharing in the fellowship of the sufferings of Jesus." Then a sentence I need to write on my mirror and the wall of my office: "I had to surrender my desire to save the world."

Wow! That is going to take some time to soak in! I think that sentence is going to be profound for me! I never started out thinking I will save the world! In fact, as I stated in the past posts, I have tried to guard against that. But with the more devastation I have seen, the more I felt a need to "do" something! When how God wanted me to respond was to sink deeper into Him and weep with Him while working to help whomever He allows!

Now for a passion of mine that she touched on! As I work in this ministry, the inability of Christians to work together mystifies me! I have attempted so many times to reach out to others to join our efforts. Some have been receptive, but many more have not. It is frustrating and often a source of anger for me that I have to work through. I can just see how much more effective we could be in showing Jesus to the world if we worked together. But I think Kay hit a nail on the head when she said this:

"In community our misguided attempts to save the world by ourselves are challenged. In community, our motivations are held up to loving scrutiny. In community, the weight of the world is carried by other committed Christ-followers. In community, we go into his presence together to share the celebration of his sacrifice of our sins. In community, dangerous surrender on the part of a group member is a cause for rejoicing, not a decision to ridicule and mock."

Oh if the Body could get that! What a difference it would make!

Lots to ponder.......