Lover of Truth

So this is why you stay in the Word even during those times that it seems to bring nothing or your prayers seem to hit the ceiling...because if you keep at it, eventually, the ceiling will open up and His love and truth will pour down as it did this morning for me! I am basking in what He brought me that encouraged me beyond belief during this really difficult time.

Turning over the orphanage has left all kinds of doubts. And satan takes those and runs with them. I have tried to battle them, but really, as tired as I am of battles, I have allowed myself to just lay down and wallow in some of the doubts. But this morning, the Holy Spirit picked me up and brushed me off and said, "We need to get moving! There is a mountain ahead that you will miss if you stay in this valley. There is more valley ahead and the mountain to climb to get to the top, but if we don't get moving, we will never make it." So I am walking again!

I ordered a book several weeks ago called Embraced by the Father. It is evident in my struggles that I truly don't know the character of God. If I truly understood WHO He is, I wouldn't struggle with many of the doubts and unbelief that surface right now. So I felt led of the Spirit to do some studying of WHO God is. I have started and stopped this book throughout the past few weeks as I have struggled through this time. But this morning, God reminded me why I MUST know WHO He is and stay in the Word! And boy am I glad I did!

This morning was on El Shaddai - The All Sufficient One. Even as I wrote that title on my journal to begin the study, I kind of rolled my eyes. I know, not so respectful to the Almighty, Creator, but it was where I was. He hasn't felt so All Sufficient lately. But that's the great thing about God - He doesn't change with how I "feel"!

I am so encouraged to be reminded from 2 Cor 12 that when I am weak, that is when He is strong. This time in my life right now is a time for Him to shine like no other! I am beat down, discouraged and feel totally inadequate. So this is a time when He can swoop into my life and show me how I can be strong in Him in all these areas! The outside world might never see a difference, but I will know, and hopefully it will be reflected somehow to the outsie world, that every step I take is because God has given me the power to do so and He will receive the glory for it!

The last of the author's chapter sums it up for me:

"[speaking of Sarah and Abraham] Sarah chose to dance with El Shaddai. Although she laughed at first, she decided to believe he could do what He said He could do. Sarah put aside her deficiency to allow His sufficiency to lead her to the path of motherhood. She knew that God Almighty was enough, is enough and will always be enough. Me too. I know that despite my lack of proficiency in any task, if God Almighty - the All Sufficient One - wills it for me, He will lead me in the perfect divine cadence to accomplish it."

I am encouraged!!