Obedience

I had a conversation the other day that left me perplexed and has caused me to think....a LOT!  It was someone who I am in an accountability/mentor group with.  The discussion was basically about when walking in obedience to God requires someone else's yes besides just yours...like a spouses or a business partner, etc.  The statement was made, "I would never _____ because it would stretch my marriage too much.  We wouldn't survive it."  That left me perplexed.  Mainly because John and I have been at that cross road before, but we didn't say, no, we said yes!  So it made me go back and analyze and pray through that to see if we made the right choice.  Not that we can change it now, but it could change how I talk to others in the same situation.

As I shared in a recent post here John only wanted one child.  Having a baby rocked both our worlds, but John's was really rocked and he was quite sure he didn't want his world to be rocked like that again.  At the time Callie was born, our marriage was not real solid.  We were committed which is why we are 14.5 years into this marriage journey, but it was not strong.  As anyone knows who has a baby, that baby just magnifies the cracks in a marriage and at times makes those little cracks look and feel like the Grand Canyon!  That was true of our marriage also.

So why would we say yes to another baby 18 months later?  I have thought about that so many times.  And not just Noah's adoption but almost all of them since.  If we looked only at the condition of our marriage and our family at the time, we would not have said "yes" to any of our adoptions!  We would not have been "ready"!  I don't know that any marriage or family counselor would have given us the thumbs up to proceed either.  And the fact is, some of those "reasons" were right on and did happen! All of our adoptions have pushed John and I personally and also our marriage to new heights of frustration and struggles.  If the adoption process itself didn't threaten to rip us apart, then the difficulties adjusting to another child in the family did.  Many would look at that and call us irresponsible.  In fact, many who we have walked in close relationship with us during these times have!  One of the most common criticisms we get is that we are addicted to adrenaline and create drama to keep that going.  Let me assure you, I hate drama more than any person on this planet!  Ask my kids!  If I think they are starting drama, it gets shut down immediately!

In every one of our adoptions and other life changing decisions that God called us to it comes down to a very simple thing....did God say to?  If He did, what will our response be?

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  ~2 Corinthians 4:18 I think that this is the best response to someone saying they will not ___ because of a relationship or a stress following God would cause.  If we waited for conditions (the seen) to be perfectly aligned to follow God's direction, we would never do it!  And I think many Christians are stuck there, frankly!

Did adopting put a strain on our already not perfect marriage?  Absolutely!  Has our saying yes to God put us in a place that nearly tore our marriage in two?  Absolutely!  Does that mean we missed it?  I don't think so!  I think it means God is way more concerned with eternal things than with us walking in a safe and comfortable life without challenge or conflict.

Before I am crucified, let me say that I am not talking about anything that goes against scripture!  I am also not talking about anything you are divided on in your marriage to begin with.  On any of our adoptions, one or the other of us brought it to the table and in every one of them, the other was not on board to begin with.  We would never move forward as long as we were not both on board!  We waited to move forward in these situations until we both knew without a doubt the direction was from God and we were in agreement that we should move forward.  Moving forward when you are not both in agreement is not at all what I am speaking of. I am talking about when you walk the path God has asked you to walk, in total agreement, and it stretches you beyond where you ever imagined you could go!

Here's the bottom line, we grow when we are stretched!  I am doing a bootcamp right now and I can barely sit here long enough to type this post because my back is all our of whack from all the changing my body is doing.  I am pushing my body to physical limits like I never have before!  And any physical fitness expert will tell you that is where the reshaping takes place.  Well the same is true of our spiritual muscles.  They are reshaped when God stretches us beyond where we ever thought we could walk!

If God is calling you to "stretch", say yes! The thing is, you can't see what is going to happen when you say yes!  You may see the struggles, but you don't see what has been set into motion in the spiritual realm that will change lives for God's purposes!  Each one of my children is a warrior for Christ.  Had we not said yes - even in the midst of an imperfect marriage by two often struggling Christ followers, they might not have been raised in God's ways - trained for the life He has for them!  Fix your eyes on the unseen!  Trust God to get you through whatever He calls you to!  It's the only way to truly learn Who He is! Trust me, I know! :0)