Just like God to kick me in the tail right after I post a piti-party post like my last one. Received this in my e-mail today....don't know who the original author is, but it leaves no room for excuses!
Our family experienced a year of extreme trauma and loss in 2008. In the midst of it all we stood firm on the promise that God would never leave us or forsake us. We praised Him in the midst of sorrow. We praised Him in the midst of confusion. We praised Him no matter what was going on because for years we had declared that our God was a good God. When the hard times come you have opportunity to take your experience with the Lord to a higher level of trust. He is not only good when we understand it all....He is good when we don't understand any of it. Loving God with everything you have is more than theory or philosophy...it is a way of living. I have learned so much more of God's love and provision through difficulty than I would have ever learned otherwise. It is easy to give the enemy place and justify our sin. Bitterness, anger, and other destructive behavior can enter in and take us down quickly. I thank God for His faithfulness and the presence of the Holy Spirit on my life.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
blahhhh
Just a blah day. Don't want to do anything. Want to pretend Liberia doesn't exist. Want all the problems associated with adoption and Liberia to go away. Just want to go to a deserted island with my children and live out our days there playing in the sun and collecting shells.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Siiiiiiiigh......
More puke! Now John has it! I am sick of stomach viruses! Go away!
Let me just say that I know how selfish this sounds/is, but I say this is a transparent look at my life...so you get the good, the bad and the very ugly! I am so bummed that he is sick tonight! See I got an e-mail in my inbox today. Ever since I started pricing fences to get the pool fence, I have stopped looking at domestic situations and concentrated on the foster care issue.
Well, the e-mail I got was for an African American baby girl due in July here in Texas. It is a little higher than what I had wanted to do even in a domestic adoption, but I just keep thinking that no matter the cost, a child is worth it! I don't hesitate to pay that much for a car that will run out and eventually break down. The car will be ashes when the fire hits it, but the life of this child will be eternal! Read post below for simple explanation of that analogy!
John hates these e-mails! It really stretches him to think about having another child. There are days it does me too, but I love babies and children! John doesn't have that burning desire like me, so I appreciate that he is willing to pray and consider that perhaps God is calling us to this even thought he, John, would not choose this for us. However, talking about it is hard. For one thing, finding time when we can both sit down and talk with out interruption when we still have brain cells left (which we usually neither one do by bed time!) is so difficult. Well, tonight, the big kids are with John's parents. The little ones go to bed at 8, so we were planning to sit and talk about it tonight to see if we feel called in anyway to pursue this situation.
There is one part about this situation that keeps going through my mind....the mother went to abort her, but she was too far along! Ouch! I hear my government teacher from high school saying, "These pro-life people better be ready to put their money where their mouth is and raise these babies that aren't aborted." I'm ready! I will put my money where my mouth is! Bring her to me! I would take in an unlimited number of children to save them from being murdered before they are born! But that doesn't mean this baby is mine, either.
So I sit...wondering....dreaming...trying not to think of the possibilities....trying not to fall in love with her already....trying to be truly open to God's will...and at the same time wondering where in the world we would get that kind of money to pursue the adoption! But then I know story after story of how God provided, so I would pursue her in a heart beat in faith that God will take care of the rest...I just have to know this is His will! I want it to be His will so badly that I don't know that I can be fully objective....that is why I really do rely on John to say yes or no! I just need him to not be puking so we can talk about it!
Let me just say that I know how selfish this sounds/is, but I say this is a transparent look at my life...so you get the good, the bad and the very ugly! I am so bummed that he is sick tonight! See I got an e-mail in my inbox today. Ever since I started pricing fences to get the pool fence, I have stopped looking at domestic situations and concentrated on the foster care issue.
Well, the e-mail I got was for an African American baby girl due in July here in Texas. It is a little higher than what I had wanted to do even in a domestic adoption, but I just keep thinking that no matter the cost, a child is worth it! I don't hesitate to pay that much for a car that will run out and eventually break down. The car will be ashes when the fire hits it, but the life of this child will be eternal! Read post below for simple explanation of that analogy!
John hates these e-mails! It really stretches him to think about having another child. There are days it does me too, but I love babies and children! John doesn't have that burning desire like me, so I appreciate that he is willing to pray and consider that perhaps God is calling us to this even thought he, John, would not choose this for us. However, talking about it is hard. For one thing, finding time when we can both sit down and talk with out interruption when we still have brain cells left (which we usually neither one do by bed time!) is so difficult. Well, tonight, the big kids are with John's parents. The little ones go to bed at 8, so we were planning to sit and talk about it tonight to see if we feel called in anyway to pursue this situation.
There is one part about this situation that keeps going through my mind....the mother went to abort her, but she was too far along! Ouch! I hear my government teacher from high school saying, "These pro-life people better be ready to put their money where their mouth is and raise these babies that aren't aborted." I'm ready! I will put my money where my mouth is! Bring her to me! I would take in an unlimited number of children to save them from being murdered before they are born! But that doesn't mean this baby is mine, either.
So I sit...wondering....dreaming...trying not to think of the possibilities....trying not to fall in love with her already....trying to be truly open to God's will...and at the same time wondering where in the world we would get that kind of money to pursue the adoption! But then I know story after story of how God provided, so I would pursue her in a heart beat in faith that God will take care of the rest...I just have to know this is His will! I want it to be His will so badly that I don't know that I can be fully objective....that is why I really do rely on John to say yes or no! I just need him to not be puking so we can talk about it!
What a quote!
I have been looking for blogs on foster care, so I checked out my friend Amy's from an adoptive mom yahoo group I belong to. They have just been through a trying foster ordeal! But since John and I are praying about it, I wanted to read more about it. I process things so differently than John, and it makes times like this very stressful at our house!
When Amy's blog came up, I looked at her title bar and saw this quote. It has haunted me ever since:
"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid God might ask me the same question." -Anonymous
wow! That says it all!
Go check out Building the Blocks, you will be blessed!
When Amy's blog came up, I looked at her title bar and saw this quote. It has haunted me ever since:
"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid God might ask me the same question." -Anonymous
wow! That says it all!
Go check out Building the Blocks, you will be blessed!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
my new obsession..
I have always loved material....but stink at sewing! I have made one outfit for Callie, and John forbid me from ever sewing clothes again! So I moved to scrap booking because now they have amazing paper! I love all the colors, designs, etc. But now they have ribbon that is gorgeous! Hobby Lobby just came out with a line that is the same as scrapbook paper! So I am back to making bows for Ava to match her outfits and having a blast! I didn't dress her all up with matching stuff when she was a baby like I did Callie. It was during that time that I had my worst bouts with depression and barely had enough umph in me to get her dressed, much less all dolled up!
Then we went to a craft show and saw these flip-flops...so I have started making them! It lets me do something with all the fun ribbon! I made Callie and I some too, but I didn't take a picture of them. I have missed crafting! But I am still struggling from the lack of sleep as I had to stay up until 1 am to have time to do these!Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month
April 2009 is Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month
State Of TexasOffice of the Governor
Children are the embodiment of innocence and hope for the future, and every child deserves to grow up in a nurturing environment, free from harm and fear. Sadly, however, child abuse is a reality, a problem we must relentlessly combat through awareness and action.
Every responsible person will agree that even one abused child is too many. Yet our state's child protection caseloads are evidence of the shameful fact that child abuse is a widespread issue in Texas. All responsible Texans must do what they can to resolve this pervasive issue.
There are ways we can make a difference. Children's advocacy groups and social workers across the state work to create safe, happy and healthy environments for Texas' children, and, through education and awareness, to discourage child abuse. When abuse or neglect does occur, individual citizens have a duty to report it to the appropriate authorities.
Once again, the month of April has been designated for an educational campaign. At this time, I encourage all Texans to join me in renewing our commitment to preventing child abuse and learning what we each can do to promote the safety and well-being of children. Their success is Texas' success.
Therefore, I, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim April 2009,
Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month
in Texas, and urge the appropriate recognition whereof.
In official recognition whereof, I hereby affix my signature this the 18"' day of February, 2009
That's great, Mr. Perry! Now can we change some laws to keep kids in the system from being abused in their foster homes?? Or make a system where this is less likely to occur than if we leave them in their abusive home?
State Of TexasOffice of the Governor
Children are the embodiment of innocence and hope for the future, and every child deserves to grow up in a nurturing environment, free from harm and fear. Sadly, however, child abuse is a reality, a problem we must relentlessly combat through awareness and action.
Every responsible person will agree that even one abused child is too many. Yet our state's child protection caseloads are evidence of the shameful fact that child abuse is a widespread issue in Texas. All responsible Texans must do what they can to resolve this pervasive issue.
There are ways we can make a difference. Children's advocacy groups and social workers across the state work to create safe, happy and healthy environments for Texas' children, and, through education and awareness, to discourage child abuse. When abuse or neglect does occur, individual citizens have a duty to report it to the appropriate authorities.
Once again, the month of April has been designated for an educational campaign. At this time, I encourage all Texans to join me in renewing our commitment to preventing child abuse and learning what we each can do to promote the safety and well-being of children. Their success is Texas' success.
Therefore, I, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim April 2009,
Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month
in Texas, and urge the appropriate recognition whereof.
In official recognition whereof, I hereby affix my signature this the 18"' day of February, 2009
That's great, Mr. Perry! Now can we change some laws to keep kids in the system from being abused in their foster homes?? Or make a system where this is less likely to occur than if we leave them in their abusive home?
The Pictures of Aba and Toben
Several of you have asked....so here ya go! The pictures in this post of Toben and Ava were taken at our local Sears. I learned a long time ago to take my own props...sometimes I have to help pose them, but this photographer was pretty good with that part. I love their coupons, and I can get them less expensive than if I printed them off at Wal-Mart...and I usually buy enough that I can get the disk fairly reasonable so then everyone can have what ever pictures they want!
My goal over Easter weekend is to get all the children in their white shirts and shorts over to a park that has amazing trees and take pictures...I have none of all four except Easter pitures last year! I am so behind!
My goal over Easter weekend is to get all the children in their white shirts and shorts over to a park that has amazing trees and take pictures...I have none of all four except Easter pitures last year! I am so behind!
Officially registered!
And here is what I will get to attend:
Breakout Session 1: 4/30/2009 11AM - 12PM - Practical Ideas for Church Adoption/Foster Care Ministries (Michael & Amy Monroe, Irving Bible Church) -
Breakout Session 2: 4/30/2009 2PM - 3PM - Starting In the Right Direction: Helping Pre-Adoptive Couples Make Sound Decisions (Joe Gerber, Loving Shepherd Ministries) -
Breakout Session 3: 4/30/2009 3:15PM - 4:15PM - Loving the Orphan – A Journey of Hope and Faith (Emily Chapman Richards, Shaohannah's Hope) -
Breakout Session 4: 5/1/2009 10:45AM - 11:45AM - Getting in the Way of Trouble: What Every Church Should Know When Intervening in the lives of Foster Children & Families (Chris Padbury, Project 1:27) -
Breakout Session 5: 5/1/2009 1:45PM - 2:45PM - NEW: Christian Adoption Agencies' Rights of Conscience in Placement Decisions (Brian Raum, Alliance Defense Fund Legal Counselor & Kelly Rosati, Sr. Director, Sanctity of Human Life, Focus on the Family) -
Breakout Session 6: 5/1/2009 3PM - 4PM - The Challenges and Changing Landscape of International Adoption (Brian Luwis, America World Adoption & Bill Blacquiere, Bethany Christian Services) -
And what I am sending John to:
Breakout Session 1: 4/30/2009 11AM - 12PM - Unleashing the Home: God’s Answer for Vulnerable Children (Dave Anderson, Safe Families) -
Breakout Session 2: 4/30/2009 2PM - 3PM - Accountability, ECFA and Christian Alliance for Orphans (Dan Busby, ECFA) -
Breakout Session 3: 4/30/2009 3:15PM - 4:15PM - Loving the Orphan – A Journey of Hope and Faith (Emily Richards, Shaohannah's Hope) -
Breakout Session 4: 5/1/2009 10:45AM - 11:45AM - Mobilizing the Local Church to Serve Children in Foster Care (Tom Lukasik, 4KIDS of South FL) -
Breakout Session 5: 5/1/2009 1:45PM - 2:45PM - The Financial Challenge of Adoption & How the Church Can Respond (Wendy Cosby, Shaohannah’s Hope; Jason Kovacs, ABBA Fund; Andy Lehman, Lifesong) -
Breakout Session 6: 5/1/2009 3PM - 4PM - Effective Strategies for Partnering with the Local Church (Jeff Walshauser, Christ Chapel Bible Church) -
5/2/2009 - Visit old friends in the Dallas area and process all we have just learned before returning home to chaos once again! :)
5/3/2009 - Return home to implement all we learned and impact the orphan crisis with the Kingdom of God!
Breakout Session 1: 4/30/2009 11AM - 12PM - Practical Ideas for Church Adoption/Foster Care Ministries (Michael & Amy Monroe, Irving Bible Church) -
Breakout Session 2: 4/30/2009 2PM - 3PM - Starting In the Right Direction: Helping Pre-Adoptive Couples Make Sound Decisions (Joe Gerber, Loving Shepherd Ministries) -
Breakout Session 3: 4/30/2009 3:15PM - 4:15PM - Loving the Orphan – A Journey of Hope and Faith (Emily Chapman Richards, Shaohannah's Hope) -
Breakout Session 4: 5/1/2009 10:45AM - 11:45AM - Getting in the Way of Trouble: What Every Church Should Know When Intervening in the lives of Foster Children & Families (Chris Padbury, Project 1:27) -
Breakout Session 5: 5/1/2009 1:45PM - 2:45PM - NEW: Christian Adoption Agencies' Rights of Conscience in Placement Decisions (Brian Raum, Alliance Defense Fund Legal Counselor & Kelly Rosati, Sr. Director, Sanctity of Human Life, Focus on the Family) -
Breakout Session 6: 5/1/2009 3PM - 4PM - The Challenges and Changing Landscape of International Adoption (Brian Luwis, America World Adoption & Bill Blacquiere, Bethany Christian Services) -
And what I am sending John to:
Breakout Session 1: 4/30/2009 11AM - 12PM - Unleashing the Home: God’s Answer for Vulnerable Children (Dave Anderson, Safe Families) -
Breakout Session 2: 4/30/2009 2PM - 3PM - Accountability, ECFA and Christian Alliance for Orphans (Dan Busby, ECFA) -
Breakout Session 3: 4/30/2009 3:15PM - 4:15PM - Loving the Orphan – A Journey of Hope and Faith (Emily Richards, Shaohannah's Hope) -
Breakout Session 4: 5/1/2009 10:45AM - 11:45AM - Mobilizing the Local Church to Serve Children in Foster Care (Tom Lukasik, 4KIDS of South FL) -
Breakout Session 5: 5/1/2009 1:45PM - 2:45PM - The Financial Challenge of Adoption & How the Church Can Respond (Wendy Cosby, Shaohannah’s Hope; Jason Kovacs, ABBA Fund; Andy Lehman, Lifesong) -
Breakout Session 6: 5/1/2009 3PM - 4PM - Effective Strategies for Partnering with the Local Church (Jeff Walshauser, Christ Chapel Bible Church) -
5/2/2009 - Visit old friends in the Dallas area and process all we have just learned before returning home to chaos once again! :)
5/3/2009 - Return home to implement all we learned and impact the orphan crisis with the Kingdom of God!
Don't want to...
I so need to be lysoling my whole house, but I so don't want to! I am so tired of sickness! That is really the only thing I can say I do not like about having a larger (ok, kind of large for those of you with truly large families)...when the stomach bug hits, it takes about two weeks to go through everyone...ok that and all the laundry on a regular basis! That means two weeks of puke and other bodily fluids! Ugh! Two more people to go, however, I am claiming this round over in Jesus Name! No more puke!!!!
Hope you were not eating lunch when you read this....sorry, should have had a warning with that post, huh?!
Hope you were not eating lunch when you read this....sorry, should have had a warning with that post, huh?!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
drum roll please......
I am going to the Orphan Summit at Irving Bible Church! I am so stoked! Nothing could have made my day more! I thought I had already missed it, but my friend Jody set me straight! I have tried all day to register but between calls from the Ambassador and getting ready for my meeting with my Congressman tomorrow, I haven't had a chance. So right now, at 11:30 pm, when I should be in bed, I am going to pick my break out sessions! John is going with me. We need a weekend away... and I need him to go to the sessions I can't attend!There are TONS of sessions on forming an adoption/foster ministry at your church. This is something that we were not allowed to do at our old church, but leadership of our new church seems to be open to...if you are reading this..Hint..Hint! :)
Seriously, though, I know this will be much needed encouragement and contacts to keep trekking on this journey that literally wears me out on a daily basis! Meeting with other Christians who have a passion for hurting children...here and over seas...will be a dream come true!
Off to register so that maybe I can get some sleep tonight! :)
I wonder if any reps from Save the Children will be there....hmmmmmmm........
I love my new church!
I cannot say enough good about my new church, Mid-Cities. It is not perfect - it is made up of people just like me. At some point, I will be offended or hurt while being there. It is a family, don't we always get hurt or offended by family? But when that happens, I will pray through it, and do as God directs! We work it out!
What do I love about it? Well, they love people! That is my heart, and I believe that is the heart of God! People! They are constantly seeking ways to take the the people in this family from where they are to the next step in their faith journey. Isn't that what it is all about? Aren't we all supposed to be growing from glory to glory? But the cool thing about Mid-Cities is that they don't just talk about it, they do it! Wow! What a concept! They don't have it all figured out. They don't have the road map or the 10 year plan...well, not as far as I know anyway. They just ask what the people need then try to get the tools in their hands as quickly as possible. We just joined a few weeks ago. Do you know one of the questions that was on the member information sheet? What is your dream for the Kingdom of God? Really???? They want to know what my dream is? They want to know what God is calling me to?? I went from a place that specifically told me, "We will walk with you as a person, but we will not walk with your ministry." That would be great if I knew how to separate the two, but as far as I know, I am one in the same. And now I have found a place that cares about what God is doing in the lives of the believers that He sends to them! Wow! What a marvelous concept.
Funny thing is, we visited Mid-Cities when we first moved to this area almost 5 years ago. I couldn't hack it. It was too much for me! I just wasn't ready spiritually. I still had God in a box! My box wasn't big enough for the God this church serves. That is a post for another time.
The leadership and the people of Mid-Cities believe in the power of God! I LOVE THAT! They pray expecting things to happen. They encourage us to pray expecting things to happen. They believe the sky is the limit as long as God is at the wheel. Praise God!
Daniel, our senior pastor, is younger than me. I love that too! But there are seasoned saints on staff as well. There is a balance! We need the ones who have been there and done that! Daniel is a wonderful teacher. If you want to hear some really practical sermons for walking with God, check out the website: www.midcities.org.
What do I love about it? Well, they love people! That is my heart, and I believe that is the heart of God! People! They are constantly seeking ways to take the the people in this family from where they are to the next step in their faith journey. Isn't that what it is all about? Aren't we all supposed to be growing from glory to glory? But the cool thing about Mid-Cities is that they don't just talk about it, they do it! Wow! What a concept! They don't have it all figured out. They don't have the road map or the 10 year plan...well, not as far as I know anyway. They just ask what the people need then try to get the tools in their hands as quickly as possible. We just joined a few weeks ago. Do you know one of the questions that was on the member information sheet? What is your dream for the Kingdom of God? Really???? They want to know what my dream is? They want to know what God is calling me to?? I went from a place that specifically told me, "We will walk with you as a person, but we will not walk with your ministry." That would be great if I knew how to separate the two, but as far as I know, I am one in the same. And now I have found a place that cares about what God is doing in the lives of the believers that He sends to them! Wow! What a marvelous concept.
Funny thing is, we visited Mid-Cities when we first moved to this area almost 5 years ago. I couldn't hack it. It was too much for me! I just wasn't ready spiritually. I still had God in a box! My box wasn't big enough for the God this church serves. That is a post for another time.
The leadership and the people of Mid-Cities believe in the power of God! I LOVE THAT! They pray expecting things to happen. They encourage us to pray expecting things to happen. They believe the sky is the limit as long as God is at the wheel. Praise God!
Daniel, our senior pastor, is younger than me. I love that too! But there are seasoned saints on staff as well. There is a balance! We need the ones who have been there and done that! Daniel is a wonderful teacher. If you want to hear some really practical sermons for walking with God, check out the website: www.midcities.org.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
God has a way...
...of keeping things in the forefront of our minds! I have posted several times about my desire for a baby. It comes and goes from time to time. Well, lately it has come and stayed! Nothing about life says now would be a good time...John says nothing about life says EVER would be a good time! :) He was done at one! But I have really had foster care on my mind! As I was looking at all these adoption situations that I wanted to be presented to, I looked at the price tags, and this little voice said, "Now what was it that stopped you from fostering? Wasn't it like $2,000 to put up that four foot fence and you stopped. Yet, you are still looking at adoptions that will cost you well over $20K?" He had me! I couldn't rationalize my way out of that one!
So I started really praying! I even made some inquiries on-line about pool fences..you know nothing personal, just filling in some forms so there is no commitment. Well, out of the blue one day at the office, one of the companies called with their Texas installer! So there it was again....the idea of fosterting. He quoted me a price that would be about $3,000. Out of the question! John will never go for that! He doesn't even want a fence around the pool anyway. I didn't either because we had a lab that already didn't have enough room, and that would have blocked her running space for sure. Well, three weeks ago, we sent her to a new home with a ton of space! So one more dilema solved.
I have become a new fan of Karen Kingsbury. My friend Anita introduced me to her books, and I am hooked! I only had 5 minutes at the library the other day before I had to pick up the kids, so I just grabbed two and ran. When I started reading one of them, When Joy Comes to Stay, guess what it is about? You guessed it...foster care! A mom who gave up a baby and is now fostering, and the baby she gave up that is now 8 and gets nearly beat to death by her foster mom! I am not finished with the book, but have just cried through most of it! Once again, fostering jumps out of nowhere!
CPS is not the way I would go. There will be a much greater risk of heartbreak (like adoption doesn't have enough in and of itself!)as odds are we will lose a few before we get to keep our child. We will have to take children who have been abused...love children who have not been loved. That can be very difficult. But if we don't, who will? That is what God keeps asking me. I look on the TARE websight almost daily. Did you know that in 2006 in Texas along, 1,700 children aged out?! That means 1,700 children left the foster system with no where to return to on Christmas or no home to go to if they fall on hard times. No where but the street or jail where over 75% of foster children end up! Body of Christ, what are we thining?! Who will be Jesus' hands and feet to these "Least of these" if we will not?
I don't know that in the end we will be able to foster to adopt. I don't know yet what John will hear from the Lord. But I know that even if we don't foster to adopt, God has this in the forefront of my mind for some reason! If it is not for us, then I will have to keep praying because it is just not acceptable to know that many children are hurting...right here in good 'ol America!
So I started really praying! I even made some inquiries on-line about pool fences..you know nothing personal, just filling in some forms so there is no commitment. Well, out of the blue one day at the office, one of the companies called with their Texas installer! So there it was again....the idea of fosterting. He quoted me a price that would be about $3,000. Out of the question! John will never go for that! He doesn't even want a fence around the pool anyway. I didn't either because we had a lab that already didn't have enough room, and that would have blocked her running space for sure. Well, three weeks ago, we sent her to a new home with a ton of space! So one more dilema solved.
I have become a new fan of Karen Kingsbury. My friend Anita introduced me to her books, and I am hooked! I only had 5 minutes at the library the other day before I had to pick up the kids, so I just grabbed two and ran. When I started reading one of them, When Joy Comes to Stay, guess what it is about? You guessed it...foster care! A mom who gave up a baby and is now fostering, and the baby she gave up that is now 8 and gets nearly beat to death by her foster mom! I am not finished with the book, but have just cried through most of it! Once again, fostering jumps out of nowhere!
CPS is not the way I would go. There will be a much greater risk of heartbreak (like adoption doesn't have enough in and of itself!)as odds are we will lose a few before we get to keep our child. We will have to take children who have been abused...love children who have not been loved. That can be very difficult. But if we don't, who will? That is what God keeps asking me. I look on the TARE websight almost daily. Did you know that in 2006 in Texas along, 1,700 children aged out?! That means 1,700 children left the foster system with no where to return to on Christmas or no home to go to if they fall on hard times. No where but the street or jail where over 75% of foster children end up! Body of Christ, what are we thining?! Who will be Jesus' hands and feet to these "Least of these" if we will not?
I don't know that in the end we will be able to foster to adopt. I don't know yet what John will hear from the Lord. But I know that even if we don't foster to adopt, God has this in the forefront of my mind for some reason! If it is not for us, then I will have to keep praying because it is just not acceptable to know that many children are hurting...right here in good 'ol America!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Calling all prayer warriors!
We need all of you prayer warriors to hit your knees for the people of Liberia! The battle is fierce! I have never experienced anything like this in my life to even compare it to except through my work in Liberia. In my time with God this morning, He impressed on me the dire need for prayer in order to defeat the powers of darkness that are seeking to keep these people captive....not just captive here in this world, but more importantly, captive for eternity! I know it is hard to imagine in this day and age that there are people who have never heard the gospel, but I have learned of a county in Liberia where that is so! God has sent two men our direction who are working there, diving connections that only God could bring about. I pray we have the opportunity to work there.
This is what God gave me this morning that I would ask that you pray with me for the people of Liberia!
"How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed; who gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets the prisoners free. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind...He supports the fatherless and the widow, but He thwarts the way of the wicked," Psalm 146 (emphasis mine)
Praise God! I have to say that after a couple of weeks of trying to pretend like I never heard of a little country called Liberia because I am just so weary of the battles, my spirit is soaring this morning! I am ready for the battle! But I need an army! I need prayer warriors! If you would pray for Addy's Hope, Kami and Jeremy who are there now on the front lines fighting the battle to get the new home and school up, Amos who is our country director and has to fight this battle every day on the front lines: a battle that really we can't even comprehend here in America, if you would pray for us, would you leave me a comment?...just so I can know in the bad times that there are people praying.
Headed to battle!
This is what God gave me this morning that I would ask that you pray with me for the people of Liberia!
"How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed; who gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets the prisoners free. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind...He supports the fatherless and the widow, but He thwarts the way of the wicked," Psalm 146 (emphasis mine)
Praise God! I have to say that after a couple of weeks of trying to pretend like I never heard of a little country called Liberia because I am just so weary of the battles, my spirit is soaring this morning! I am ready for the battle! But I need an army! I need prayer warriors! If you would pray for Addy's Hope, Kami and Jeremy who are there now on the front lines fighting the battle to get the new home and school up, Amos who is our country director and has to fight this battle every day on the front lines: a battle that really we can't even comprehend here in America, if you would pray for us, would you leave me a comment?...just so I can know in the bad times that there are people praying.
Headed to battle!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Save the Children...they need to change their name!
Read this!
SAVE THE CHILDREN FEDERATION, INC.
CODE OF ETHICS AND BUSINESS CONDUCT
Save the Children is committed to preserving a working environment that promotes integrity in its business practices. All representatives of Save the Children – employees, volunteers, interns, consultants, Board members and others – must conduct the Agency’s activities honestly, with integrity and good judgment, and in the best interest of the Agency and the children, families and communities we serve. Save the Children representatives must demonstrate conduct that upholds the Agency’s reputation, is respectful of the rights of others, and complies with all applicable laws, regulations and standards.
The following are specific requirements for Save the Children representatives in conformity with these precepts. The list is not exhaustive.
Compliance with Law, Regulations and Standards
Save the Children representatives must act in conformity with the laws and regulations of the United States and the countries in which the Agency works. They must abide by Save the Children’s own policies and procedures and act in conformity with professional standards common to representatives of other charitable organizations, non-profit corporations and non-governmental organization.
Save the Children's website has a link to their code of ethics and business conduct. I thought I would glance at it in light of some news I just received from Liberia. I couldn't make it past the first two headings of the 4 page document before the knot in my stomach just about made me puke! I can't speak for the organization anywhere but in Liberia. But what I see in Liberia meets NONE of these ethics or conduct!
My first encounter with Save the Children was in January when we went to get Toben and had four other families traveling with us. This is when a representative from UNICEF, Dr. Emmanuel Dolo, saw us eating out at a restaurant with our children and by the time we got to the Ministry of Health that morning, all the children's visas (well not technically all since in the professionalism that they always have, they had only gotten 4 of the 9 children's names correct!) had been put on hold illegally. When we FINALLY had clearance to leave after proving the adoptions had occurred legally and ALL papers were in order, we went t meet our plane. When we got home, we discovered that a newspaper article had been written which stated that representatives for Save the Children were headed to the airport to stop the "illegal" removal of these children! Really?! With as much attention as had already been drawn to our children, there is NO way that we would have gotten out of the airport with out having every "i" dotted and every "t" crossed! Did Save the Children look at any of our paperwork? NO!!!!! Did Save the Children call and talk to me, the Executive Director of both a non-profit here in the US and an NGO in Liberia? NO!
Read that first part again: they must work in the best interest of the children, communities and families they serve???? Who were they serving then? It sure wasn't the nine children about to board a plane to loving homes with plenty of food, clothing, love and the promise of a future and opportunities NEVER afforded to them in Liberia. It sure wasn't the families who had danced out the doors when they relinquished the children because they knew the children would never g hungry again and they could be free from worry about where they would get the next meal for their child! You see, the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare has NO MEANS TO PROVIDE FOR THESE FAMILIES!!! I know of two babies less than two months old that have been turned away from Deputy Minister Geebro's office without food! This is the Deputy Minister in charge of the welfare of the people of Liberia! Now I am not rocket scientist, but I would think that providing food is just the minimum required to protect the welfare of Liberia...especially to the most helpless...the children! But Save the Children would rather support the ILLEGAL work of this man than the humanitarian work of many NGO's in Liberia! Why, you ask? I don't know! You would have to ask them! In fact, feel free to do so! We tried, and never got a response! Here is the e-mail contact on their website:twebster@savechildren.org.
Please pray for these children. They did this at another orphanage before the first of the year. I don't know for sure how many they took, but 13 of the ones they took ended up in the hospital and one DIED! Tell me how that was protecting that child? MoH ended up returning the children to the home because they could not take care of them! Are you kidding me? IF conditions were so bad they had to be removed, why would they return them?
One of the Liberian legislatures that we have spoken with many times says that Save the Children and UNICEF are so against the work we do because with out the orphans, they don't have a pay check! If people like us work ourselves out of job, they are out of a job also....so they work to stop us. I hated to think there was truth in that, but the more I work in Liberia, the more it looks like he is right!
Pray for these children! Pray God protects them from these groups and the Liberian government! Pray that God's wrath and justice for His children reigns down on Liberia! People are suffering! People are dying! People are in need!
SAVE THE CHILDREN FEDERATION, INC.
CODE OF ETHICS AND BUSINESS CONDUCT
Save the Children is committed to preserving a working environment that promotes integrity in its business practices. All representatives of Save the Children – employees, volunteers, interns, consultants, Board members and others – must conduct the Agency’s activities honestly, with integrity and good judgment, and in the best interest of the Agency and the children, families and communities we serve. Save the Children representatives must demonstrate conduct that upholds the Agency’s reputation, is respectful of the rights of others, and complies with all applicable laws, regulations and standards.
The following are specific requirements for Save the Children representatives in conformity with these precepts. The list is not exhaustive.
Compliance with Law, Regulations and Standards
Save the Children representatives must act in conformity with the laws and regulations of the United States and the countries in which the Agency works. They must abide by Save the Children’s own policies and procedures and act in conformity with professional standards common to representatives of other charitable organizations, non-profit corporations and non-governmental organization.
Save the Children's website has a link to their code of ethics and business conduct. I thought I would glance at it in light of some news I just received from Liberia. I couldn't make it past the first two headings of the 4 page document before the knot in my stomach just about made me puke! I can't speak for the organization anywhere but in Liberia. But what I see in Liberia meets NONE of these ethics or conduct!
My first encounter with Save the Children was in January when we went to get Toben and had four other families traveling with us. This is when a representative from UNICEF, Dr. Emmanuel Dolo, saw us eating out at a restaurant with our children and by the time we got to the Ministry of Health that morning, all the children's visas (well not technically all since in the professionalism that they always have, they had only gotten 4 of the 9 children's names correct!) had been put on hold illegally. When we FINALLY had clearance to leave after proving the adoptions had occurred legally and ALL papers were in order, we went t meet our plane. When we got home, we discovered that a newspaper article had been written which stated that representatives for Save the Children were headed to the airport to stop the "illegal" removal of these children! Really?! With as much attention as had already been drawn to our children, there is NO way that we would have gotten out of the airport with out having every "i" dotted and every "t" crossed! Did Save the Children look at any of our paperwork? NO!!!!! Did Save the Children call and talk to me, the Executive Director of both a non-profit here in the US and an NGO in Liberia? NO!
Read that first part again: they must work in the best interest of the children, communities and families they serve???? Who were they serving then? It sure wasn't the nine children about to board a plane to loving homes with plenty of food, clothing, love and the promise of a future and opportunities NEVER afforded to them in Liberia. It sure wasn't the families who had danced out the doors when they relinquished the children because they knew the children would never g hungry again and they could be free from worry about where they would get the next meal for their child! You see, the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare has NO MEANS TO PROVIDE FOR THESE FAMILIES!!! I know of two babies less than two months old that have been turned away from Deputy Minister Geebro's office without food! This is the Deputy Minister in charge of the welfare of the people of Liberia! Now I am not rocket scientist, but I would think that providing food is just the minimum required to protect the welfare of Liberia...especially to the most helpless...the children! But Save the Children would rather support the ILLEGAL work of this man than the humanitarian work of many NGO's in Liberia! Why, you ask? I don't know! You would have to ask them! In fact, feel free to do so! We tried, and never got a response! Here is the e-mail contact on their website:twebster@savechildren.org.
Please pray for these children. They did this at another orphanage before the first of the year. I don't know for sure how many they took, but 13 of the ones they took ended up in the hospital and one DIED! Tell me how that was protecting that child? MoH ended up returning the children to the home because they could not take care of them! Are you kidding me? IF conditions were so bad they had to be removed, why would they return them?
One of the Liberian legislatures that we have spoken with many times says that Save the Children and UNICEF are so against the work we do because with out the orphans, they don't have a pay check! If people like us work ourselves out of job, they are out of a job also....so they work to stop us. I hated to think there was truth in that, but the more I work in Liberia, the more it looks like he is right!
Pray for these children! Pray God protects them from these groups and the Liberian government! Pray that God's wrath and justice for His children reigns down on Liberia! People are suffering! People are dying! People are in need!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Keep praying!
The container is still in port! The whole team will be there as of tonight and two will leave on Wednesday. Some have been there for more than a week who hoped to see the outside of the building up and all they have seen accomplished is the fence going up. I know these were 'man's' plans, but it is often frustrating and discouraging when we step out in faith to do something for God and don't get to see it accomplished as we thought. Pray for these people. Pray that they don't question all of this to the point that it is a hinderance for their walk! We are so thankful for their sacrifice and encourgement to us at Addy's Hope!
Pray that the container gets out today! It will cost close to $7,000 thanks to Mr. Geebro. But that is money he is robbing from God and His orphans, not us, so God will deal swiftly with him according to Proverbs 23: 10-11. God had already blessed the project with an unexpected gift right before the first people on the team left. We, the people, thought it was for a wonderful kitchen and bathroom. But God knew that we would face this challenge! So now I believe He was providing for our needs before we knew we had them. We will still have a kitchen and bathrooms, they just won't be as "souped up"! But they will still be as good if not better than where they are now. God is so faithful! I know He has to get tired of me not seeing it!
So please continue to pray! Pray that the team does not get discouraged. The roller coaster of working with a government that tries to block aid to its most needy citizens is something that can't be discribed...only experienced. But it makes you weary quickly!
Pray that the container gets out today! It will cost close to $7,000 thanks to Mr. Geebro. But that is money he is robbing from God and His orphans, not us, so God will deal swiftly with him according to Proverbs 23: 10-11. God had already blessed the project with an unexpected gift right before the first people on the team left. We, the people, thought it was for a wonderful kitchen and bathroom. But God knew that we would face this challenge! So now I believe He was providing for our needs before we knew we had them. We will still have a kitchen and bathrooms, they just won't be as "souped up"! But they will still be as good if not better than where they are now. God is so faithful! I know He has to get tired of me not seeing it!
So please continue to pray! Pray that the team does not get discouraged. The roller coaster of working with a government that tries to block aid to its most needy citizens is something that can't be discribed...only experienced. But it makes you weary quickly!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Lord, He is God!
"The Lord, He is God!" This is what the people cried after Elijah prayed for and God provided fire to fall down on the alter that was drenched and surrounded by water! That is what the people of Liberia will pray when they hear of what God has done through the faithful servants working with our ministry!
We have a team of 11 people in country right now...$25,000 in plane tickets (that doesn't include shots, visas, etc for all 11 people). Most of the team are just faithful servants of God on mission to make His glory known. They are not adopting...they have no agenda other than to server the "least of these" in Liberia.
But once again, the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare, Deputy Minister Joseph Geebro to be exact, is putting a stop to it. We need a letter from the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare to write a letter of clearance for our container to leave port. Without the letter, we will have to pay $5800 in duties. $5800 that could serve the people of Liberia, but instead will go to duties that will probably pad some officials pocket instead of educating these faces!
The injustice is too much to just sit on! The intent of the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare must be known! Elijah took on 450 prophets of Baal because he knew his God is Lord! I know that too! I never make a move with out thoroughly praying through it, and that includes posts to my blog...for all those naysayers who think I should be silent about these injustices! It is because too many people have been too silent for too long that these injustices are allowed to continue!
We now have the Liberian government, Senators, Dr. McClain (Chief of Staff/Minister of State) standing by while humanitarian aid to the Liberian people is blocked! Yet, we, US tax payers, are going to allow our government to send millions on top of the billion already sent to this government? For real?????
Please pray for our team over there! They are great! They are keeping their eyes on God...there are moments when they think they are going to sink, but then they refocus, and they are doing an amazing job at seeking God at each wall they hit and seeking the direction He woudl have them go! As I type they are trying to figure out how to pay that $5800 and still make the home and school all that God called them to. We know God can do it! He reminded me this morning that paying the $5800 now doesn't mean He will not provide for all that is needed later! Pray that encouragement for the team also! Pray for our poor country director and Pastor who have to deal with this daily! I don't know how they do it! Pray for the people of Margibi county who are already using ou water well because theirs is broken, and now know that their own government is stopping a container of necessities that would benefit them!
Pray for me...I hate to sound selfish, but all this wears me out! I am geared up and in the Spirit right now, but it will take all of 10 minutes after the kids wake up for me to lose focus and get in the flesh! Then the depression and despair hit and I want to quit it all. But that is not what God is telling me...but sometimes it just seems easier to walk away than to walk with God...I know that is a lie from the pit of hell, but so easy to believe in my weak times!
I promised transparent steps as I walk this journey! So there ya go! :)
Oh, did I mention that by 7 am this morning I had already drank a whole pot of coffee...somethins I don't usually do all day?!
We have a team of 11 people in country right now...$25,000 in plane tickets (that doesn't include shots, visas, etc for all 11 people). Most of the team are just faithful servants of God on mission to make His glory known. They are not adopting...they have no agenda other than to server the "least of these" in Liberia.
But once again, the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare, Deputy Minister Joseph Geebro to be exact, is putting a stop to it. We need a letter from the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare to write a letter of clearance for our container to leave port. Without the letter, we will have to pay $5800 in duties. $5800 that could serve the people of Liberia, but instead will go to duties that will probably pad some officials pocket instead of educating these faces!
The injustice is too much to just sit on! The intent of the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare must be known! Elijah took on 450 prophets of Baal because he knew his God is Lord! I know that too! I never make a move with out thoroughly praying through it, and that includes posts to my blog...for all those naysayers who think I should be silent about these injustices! It is because too many people have been too silent for too long that these injustices are allowed to continue!
We now have the Liberian government, Senators, Dr. McClain (Chief of Staff/Minister of State) standing by while humanitarian aid to the Liberian people is blocked! Yet, we, US tax payers, are going to allow our government to send millions on top of the billion already sent to this government? For real?????
Please pray for our team over there! They are great! They are keeping their eyes on God...there are moments when they think they are going to sink, but then they refocus, and they are doing an amazing job at seeking God at each wall they hit and seeking the direction He woudl have them go! As I type they are trying to figure out how to pay that $5800 and still make the home and school all that God called them to. We know God can do it! He reminded me this morning that paying the $5800 now doesn't mean He will not provide for all that is needed later! Pray that encouragement for the team also! Pray for our poor country director and Pastor who have to deal with this daily! I don't know how they do it! Pray for the people of Margibi county who are already using ou water well because theirs is broken, and now know that their own government is stopping a container of necessities that would benefit them!
Pray for me...I hate to sound selfish, but all this wears me out! I am geared up and in the Spirit right now, but it will take all of 10 minutes after the kids wake up for me to lose focus and get in the flesh! Then the depression and despair hit and I want to quit it all. But that is not what God is telling me...but sometimes it just seems easier to walk away than to walk with God...I know that is a lie from the pit of hell, but so easy to believe in my weak times!
I promised transparent steps as I walk this journey! So there ya go! :)
Oh, did I mention that by 7 am this morning I had already drank a whole pot of coffee...somethins I don't usually do all day?!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Trust & Obedience
Trust & Obedience: two words that seem to be coming up consistently in my life. Two words that I am not necessarily fond of, two words I know are for my own good, two words that mean I am being stretched beyond where I have been stretched before even though I thought I would break that time.
On my face tonight. Begging God to show Himself to me, and once again two words....the widow says (could be HollyAnn says these days) in 1 Kings 17:12 "As the Lord your God lives, I have no bread, only a handful of flour in the bowl and a little oil in the jar; and behold, I am gathering a few sticks that I may go in and prepare for me and my son, that we may eat it and die." Obviously she has not heard the scripture about taking thoughts captive...oh yeah, that is in the New Testament...hadn't been written yet! So I guess she is off the hook, I however, am not! Drats!
So here is Elijah's response: "Do not fear, go, do as you have said, but make me a little bread cake from it FIRST and bring it out to me, and AFTERWARD you may make one for yourself and for you son." (emphasis mine). So I had to write in my margin: "trust & obedience first" There's those two words again.......
On my face tonight. Begging God to show Himself to me, and once again two words....the widow says (could be HollyAnn says these days) in 1 Kings 17:12 "As the Lord your God lives, I have no bread, only a handful of flour in the bowl and a little oil in the jar; and behold, I am gathering a few sticks that I may go in and prepare for me and my son, that we may eat it and die." Obviously she has not heard the scripture about taking thoughts captive...oh yeah, that is in the New Testament...hadn't been written yet! So I guess she is off the hook, I however, am not! Drats!
So here is Elijah's response: "Do not fear, go, do as you have said, but make me a little bread cake from it FIRST and bring it out to me, and AFTERWARD you may make one for yourself and for you son." (emphasis mine). So I had to write in my margin: "trust & obedience first" There's those two words again.......
Monday, March 9, 2009
Our kids
Check out our kids! John put together this video in order for us to raise funds to cover expenses over the next few months while adoptions are on hold! If God stirs your heart as you look into the faces of the chidlren in our care (59 total...33 have families committed, the rest are being cared for totally on donations by people God has stirred to help), you can e-mail me for donation information. Thanks for looking at our kids! I think they are the cutest in the world! But I might be just a tad prejudice! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCuHOUqCPfk
I am sure there is a way to post this directly to my blog, but you know me...technology is not my thing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCuHOUqCPfk
I am sure there is a way to post this directly to my blog, but you know me...technology is not my thing!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
My Dark Brown Boy
I was looking through my pictures of all my Liberia trips. It was a good journey for the most part. I was getting pictures for a slide show that John is using to make a video to help us raise funds since we haven't paid salaries or rent this month in Liberia and the food money I left when I was there will run out at the end of this week. I would be fibbing if I said that I hadn't had a few sleepless nights over this, but in four years of being responsible for funding care for children in Liberia, God has ALWAYS provided! So I am trusting Him to once again work a miracle that will bring funds or multiply food, or however He sees fit to meet the needs of the kids and staff He has entrusted to our care.
We have had a series the past few weeks at church on parenting and marriage, basically, family topics. Today, our pastor was talking about our children and how for whatever reason, God has placed our children in our home at just this time because He needs them to be trained by us however we do it for whatever He has in store for them in His kingdom. I know Daniel probably has no idea just how powerful that is to hear as an adoptive parent, but man, it immediately made me think of my little Toben! I have struggled since seeing his village with why - I hate that I do that! But I have wondered, why Toben? Why me? Why is Toben not still stuck over there like some of the other children who have been waiting to come to home? Why did Toben get to enter the adoption program while so many others still live in the village where he did...with out a water well, without clothes, without food except what they can collect right around their home?
Tonight, Toben went to bed with a full stomach after a day of eating plenty to not just fill him, but nourish him as well. Children in his village went to be tonight with bloated stomachs...not because they were full, but because there was not enough to eat, not enough protein. Children in his village could very well wake up with a water born illness that will take their life as Cholera did Addy's because there is no safe water for them to drink. Toben can at any time walk to the refrigerator and fill his glass with safe, cold water!
Why did God choose him? Why did God choose me? I don't know! All I know is I am so thankful He did!
God, help me be the mommy this dark brown boy needs! Forgive me for the times I fall short, and make up for my short falls. Help me to train Toben to be all he needs to be in order to serve You in Your kingdom in whatever capacity You have ordained. Most of all, God, thank you! Thank you for my little dark brown boy that looks at a picture of two women, one white and one dark brown, and when asked if that is your momma (meaning the dark brown one) replies, "No silly! That's my momma!" and points to me! Thank you for a woman who broke her heart by giving up a son in order that he could be mine.
As I looked through the pictures, I was overcome with so many feelings. Joy as I saw faces that were once there, but are now here!
Sadness over faces that have been there through many of my trips and are still waiting to come home. Frustration that there are faces still needing families, but I can't ask anyone to commit to a child in the current situation. Humility as I see the conditions that our children used to live in. Joy as I see the conditions they now live in. Hope as I think of all the families waiting for some of these faces to come home, but at the same time almost despair as I think of these same families and the whole that I know is in their heart that hurts beyond belief when they look at these faces that they wait to kiss and love!
Sadness over faces that have been there through many of my trips and are still waiting to come home. Frustration that there are faces still needing families, but I can't ask anyone to commit to a child in the current situation. Humility as I see the conditions that our children used to live in. Joy as I see the conditions they now live in. Hope as I think of all the families waiting for some of these faces to come home, but at the same time almost despair as I think of these same families and the whole that I know is in their heart that hurts beyond belief when they look at these faces that they wait to kiss and love!And then I think of my dark brown boy asleep in his bed just a few feet from me. I think of where he has come from. I got to see the hut he slept in. I got to see children that he would have been had for whatever reason God chose to pluck him from those circumstances and place him right here in my home.
We have had a series the past few weeks at church on parenting and marriage, basically, family topics. Today, our pastor was talking about our children and how for whatever reason, God has placed our children in our home at just this time because He needs them to be trained by us however we do it for whatever He has in store for them in His kingdom. I know Daniel probably has no idea just how powerful that is to hear as an adoptive parent, but man, it immediately made me think of my little Toben! I have struggled since seeing his village with why - I hate that I do that! But I have wondered, why Toben? Why me? Why is Toben not still stuck over there like some of the other children who have been waiting to come to home? Why did Toben get to enter the adoption program while so many others still live in the village where he did...with out a water well, without clothes, without food except what they can collect right around their home?
Tonight, Toben went to bed with a full stomach after a day of eating plenty to not just fill him, but nourish him as well. Children in his village went to be tonight with bloated stomachs...not because they were full, but because there was not enough to eat, not enough protein. Children in his village could very well wake up with a water born illness that will take their life as Cholera did Addy's because there is no safe water for them to drink. Toben can at any time walk to the refrigerator and fill his glass with safe, cold water!I don't often think of where my kids came from...Toben or Noah. They are here now, and it is my job to train them as men of God. But every once in a while, my mind does the "what if?" game. It did that today as I looked at the pictures. What if he wasn't here? What if he was still with his birth mom? I really can't go there. My heart would break!
Why did God choose him? Why did God choose me? I don't know! All I know is I am so thankful He did!God, help me be the mommy this dark brown boy needs! Forgive me for the times I fall short, and make up for my short falls. Help me to train Toben to be all he needs to be in order to serve You in Your kingdom in whatever capacity You have ordained. Most of all, God, thank you! Thank you for my little dark brown boy that looks at a picture of two women, one white and one dark brown, and when asked if that is your momma (meaning the dark brown one) replies, "No silly! That's my momma!" and points to me! Thank you for a woman who broke her heart by giving up a son in order that he could be mine.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Re-Entry
Re-Entry - that is the term I use for coming home. When you travel to a third world country, there is a re-entry phase you have to go through when you come back into our society of plenty! The first time I was in Africa and then returned home, I had to leave Wal-Mart the first time I was in there because I was just angry at the injustice of it all. Here we are with all we need and most of what we want while half way around the world there are people starving and dying.
I always thought that re-entry would get easier the more trips I took. But I am finding the exact opposite to be true. It seems that each return from Liberia makes it harder and harder to reconcile the two worlds. This time has been really difficult.
Partly because of the battle I am fighting and the waiting for people in a country with starving children to move so I can help their children. That is frustrating! But God reminds me daily that He is still on the throne, and in HIS timing all will be in place for me to do what He is calling me to. I am just not very good at waiting....and I know the financial demands of running a children's home with 59 children and 14 staff...and I know our bank account balance! That brings a little fear to me...but God reminds me to trust Him, so I have to turn that over to him pretty much on an hourly basis right now!
But I digress! I have really struggled this time. I think in part because I saw more devastation this time. I went to places that are more remote. And then a big part of God's movement on this trip was meeting a man who works in a county (Liberia's word for "state") that is a two day drive from Monrovia. He showed me pictures of the village he has been working in. No one wears clothes! It is that remote and poverty stricken. They don't walk around unclothed because they don't know any better, they walk around unclothed because they don't have the resources to clothe themselves! There is more to this story, and I will be sharing it with all of you later. But for now, this is the part that has me stricken.
In my quiet time today, God took me to James. I only got through the first chapter. It was a great reminder about why God doesn't work on our time table. The first few verses are the wonderful words, "consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Endurance...not something that is really a product of our society! You want something to eat, go to a fast food place or pop something in the microwave. If it takes more than an hour to prepare and cook, I usually skip it! Having trouble in your marriage, get a divorce. Don't like how your boss is treating you, quit and get a new job. And in the adoption world, I see more and more, the child doesn't "fit" your family, disrupt! We are a society of quick fixes and escape routes.
So this concept of endurance is foreign! I struggle with it on a daily basis. I know God is working in Liberia...and of course in my heart! But I want the tangible solutions NOW! Actually, I want them yesterday! I want adoptions moving so families can be united, finances are not a struggle, the work that God has called us to in Liberia outside adoptions can continue, etc, etc. But God is saying, wait and trust! I don't understand it! It makes no sense to me that God wouldn't allow us the resources to do the things He has called us to. It makes no sense to me that we have 33 children in an orphanage with parents, families, waiting to love them and hold them. But that is why God is God and not me! He sees the whole picture, and I just see one piece. So I must wait.
So there is the endurance part of it. But I have come to learn that waiting in the Christian walk is not a passive word, it is an active word. The wait is when God transforms me, then the outcome is just that much sweeter because I see His glory revealed.
As I continued to read James 1, the last verse pierced my heart. It is probably the most commonly quoted scripture in adoption circles: "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress." But there is more to that verse! As I read it, God pierced my heart. The last part is, "and to keep oneself unstained by the world." Wow! The word in the Greek for unstained means "spotless, without". I am to be without the world! The world is not to have its mark on me! Oh how I miss that mark!
I am learning something about myself....I am an all or nothing kind of gall. That might sound like a good trait, but it makes my life really difficult. It makes finding balance all but impossible! It means I have a hard time going to work when the family needs me, and it means having a hard time shutting work off when I come home. Especially the work I do since it is a ministry that involves people's children, hearts and even souls. I know any of you in ministry can relate!
This all or nothing trait really complicates re-entry! When I am in Liberia, I am looking at all the needs. I see so many that $50 will give them tuition for this year to graduate high school. Just $50, that is just a portion of my clothes budget for my family that already has full closets! But these people don't even have money to eat, much less $50 for school. That is just one example of a multitude! So when I am there, I am going through our budget in my mind...cutting back in all areas so that we can give more to people who really are in need. I am motivated. I am in that world, all in!
BUT....then I return home! I am overwhelmed by the needs I left behind. I start hearing the little voice in my head that says, "The needs are too many. You will never make a dent in them." Then I turn to my world, all in! My conviction to send our clothes budget to people needing tuition melts away when I see the perfect Easter dress for Ava even though she already has a pretty dress that would work just fine.
I am supposed to be unstained by this world. I know there are many ways that we can be "stained" by the world, but finances are a tough one for me and John! We buy into the world's lies that we have to have it all, and as Americans, we feel we deserve it all.
I am not saying we should sell all our possessions and live as paupers. God placed us here, in America, in this society, and it is ok to live here. But there is balance! While I believe God is ok with us having a nice home, cars that run, nice clothes to so we look presentable, I believe He is saddened by our excess. I believe He wishes we would look to others more.
This morning, He was convicting me. Don't put your American head in the sand and pretend like you didn't see what you saw! Do the work. It will be hard, but look at your budget. Examine your heart. See where you can sacrifice the desires to give someone a need! I am a long way from having this part of my life under God's authority! But this morning, He reminded me again that while He wants me to care for orphans and widows, He is just as concerned that I remain unstained by this world....and that includes in the game of keeping up with the Jones!
I always thought that re-entry would get easier the more trips I took. But I am finding the exact opposite to be true. It seems that each return from Liberia makes it harder and harder to reconcile the two worlds. This time has been really difficult.
Partly because of the battle I am fighting and the waiting for people in a country with starving children to move so I can help their children. That is frustrating! But God reminds me daily that He is still on the throne, and in HIS timing all will be in place for me to do what He is calling me to. I am just not very good at waiting....and I know the financial demands of running a children's home with 59 children and 14 staff...and I know our bank account balance! That brings a little fear to me...but God reminds me to trust Him, so I have to turn that over to him pretty much on an hourly basis right now!
But I digress! I have really struggled this time. I think in part because I saw more devastation this time. I went to places that are more remote. And then a big part of God's movement on this trip was meeting a man who works in a county (Liberia's word for "state") that is a two day drive from Monrovia. He showed me pictures of the village he has been working in. No one wears clothes! It is that remote and poverty stricken. They don't walk around unclothed because they don't know any better, they walk around unclothed because they don't have the resources to clothe themselves! There is more to this story, and I will be sharing it with all of you later. But for now, this is the part that has me stricken.
In my quiet time today, God took me to James. I only got through the first chapter. It was a great reminder about why God doesn't work on our time table. The first few verses are the wonderful words, "consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Endurance...not something that is really a product of our society! You want something to eat, go to a fast food place or pop something in the microwave. If it takes more than an hour to prepare and cook, I usually skip it! Having trouble in your marriage, get a divorce. Don't like how your boss is treating you, quit and get a new job. And in the adoption world, I see more and more, the child doesn't "fit" your family, disrupt! We are a society of quick fixes and escape routes.
So this concept of endurance is foreign! I struggle with it on a daily basis. I know God is working in Liberia...and of course in my heart! But I want the tangible solutions NOW! Actually, I want them yesterday! I want adoptions moving so families can be united, finances are not a struggle, the work that God has called us to in Liberia outside adoptions can continue, etc, etc. But God is saying, wait and trust! I don't understand it! It makes no sense to me that God wouldn't allow us the resources to do the things He has called us to. It makes no sense to me that we have 33 children in an orphanage with parents, families, waiting to love them and hold them. But that is why God is God and not me! He sees the whole picture, and I just see one piece. So I must wait.
So there is the endurance part of it. But I have come to learn that waiting in the Christian walk is not a passive word, it is an active word. The wait is when God transforms me, then the outcome is just that much sweeter because I see His glory revealed.
As I continued to read James 1, the last verse pierced my heart. It is probably the most commonly quoted scripture in adoption circles: "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress." But there is more to that verse! As I read it, God pierced my heart. The last part is, "and to keep oneself unstained by the world." Wow! The word in the Greek for unstained means "spotless, without". I am to be without the world! The world is not to have its mark on me! Oh how I miss that mark!
I am learning something about myself....I am an all or nothing kind of gall. That might sound like a good trait, but it makes my life really difficult. It makes finding balance all but impossible! It means I have a hard time going to work when the family needs me, and it means having a hard time shutting work off when I come home. Especially the work I do since it is a ministry that involves people's children, hearts and even souls. I know any of you in ministry can relate!
This all or nothing trait really complicates re-entry! When I am in Liberia, I am looking at all the needs. I see so many that $50 will give them tuition for this year to graduate high school. Just $50, that is just a portion of my clothes budget for my family that already has full closets! But these people don't even have money to eat, much less $50 for school. That is just one example of a multitude! So when I am there, I am going through our budget in my mind...cutting back in all areas so that we can give more to people who really are in need. I am motivated. I am in that world, all in!
BUT....then I return home! I am overwhelmed by the needs I left behind. I start hearing the little voice in my head that says, "The needs are too many. You will never make a dent in them." Then I turn to my world, all in! My conviction to send our clothes budget to people needing tuition melts away when I see the perfect Easter dress for Ava even though she already has a pretty dress that would work just fine.
I am supposed to be unstained by this world. I know there are many ways that we can be "stained" by the world, but finances are a tough one for me and John! We buy into the world's lies that we have to have it all, and as Americans, we feel we deserve it all.
I am not saying we should sell all our possessions and live as paupers. God placed us here, in America, in this society, and it is ok to live here. But there is balance! While I believe God is ok with us having a nice home, cars that run, nice clothes to so we look presentable, I believe He is saddened by our excess. I believe He wishes we would look to others more.
This morning, He was convicting me. Don't put your American head in the sand and pretend like you didn't see what you saw! Do the work. It will be hard, but look at your budget. Examine your heart. See where you can sacrifice the desires to give someone a need! I am a long way from having this part of my life under God's authority! But this morning, He reminded me again that while He wants me to care for orphans and widows, He is just as concerned that I remain unstained by this world....and that includes in the game of keeping up with the Jones!
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