Surrender and Release

I am doing a Bible study on prayer with some wonderful much more spiritually mature than me ladies at church! I am loving hearing the wisdom of these ladies who have walked more of life than I have. But honestly, this study has been a real challenge for me. I didn't realize how difficult it has become for me to ask God for anything. I can pray prayers that deepen my relationship with Him, but to ask for anything tangible just seems pointless. There are two major areas of my life where I have suffered great pain because of God not answering my prayers (at least not the way I had it planned out!). I believe His Word, and I know those answers have not been what I wanted because it was for my best and for His glory. But that doesn't mean the pain of the process is any less real or painful!

In my study this morning she talked about prayer lists. This whole study is a shift in paradigm for me in my thoughts of prayer. I was taught that prayer is giving your requests to God and then just seeing if he makes it happen. Kind of a lottery system. But as I study prayer, I see that it is a tool, a conduit as the author says, to bring about God's will on earth as it is in heaven- to make occur in the earthly realm what has already been ordained and spoken in the spiritual realm. Now I know most of you probably got this years ago, but this is a new concept for me, I think! It is really challenging my way of thinking about prayer! Today she said, "Prayer cannot be summed up in a simple two-part equation: my request + God's answer = prayer. Prayer is a process." Then about lists she says, "The date [the day you right down the request] is the day you surrender it to God for His purposes, His ways and His timing." See my dates have always been the day I commanded God and "claimed" his Word over MY timing and my purposes! What a different way to think!

So that brings me to surrender! Sounds so simple! Yet, I am finding it VERY difficult to surrender my prayers to God and release MY will for the situations I am praying. I know that God's ways are best and He can do more than I can imagine (Eden didn't come home, but 12 children have and 29 are in process!), but the pain that comes from being transformed and giving up my desires and my plans for God's will and the outcome that will do the most for his kingdom and His glory just flat out scares me! I don't want to suffer pain. I don't want to feel disappointed or have to walk through the valley to get to the mountain! But that is what I have to do! Surrender even if it means pain.....being content to be in God's will and being in relationship with Him! Trusting God! Oh how I wish that was easy for me! It used to be, but now when I try to surrender, I hear the voice of the enemy reminding me of the pain that could bring and how God 'disappointed' me before.

God, teach me who you are more every day so that trusting you is easy! Rid me of the flesh that desires my will over yours, that wants comfort over your glory! Transform me and draw me close! Thank you that you never change and that you never leave me nor forsake me! Show me how to release my will and surrender to Yours!