Today is the day! I have been so excited for today to get here, yet when I woke up and realized that today is it, I didn't want to get out of bed! Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. (Heb 11:1) As long as I don't have an answer I have faith and hope that the judge will award us placement of baby girl. But if the judge says leave her where she is, then where is faith and hope? Well, flesh would say, it's gone. But Kingdom economy says it is in Christ...not in an outcome, not in a judge, not in a judge's answer. God sees the bigger picture! He knows what needs to happen today for His ways to be fulfilled and His name to receive the most glory in this whole situation - in Sally's life, in Sally's mom's life, in Baby Girl's life, and in our lives.
We didn't get the baby bed put up because, well, I just don't think John wanted to haul it out of the attic until he HAD to. But that is ok because that was my step of obedience, not his. I was willing. So instead, I bought an outfit! :) I had gone several times to stores and thought I would buy a little something...I can always take it back so I'm not spending money I don't need to spend. But I just couldn't bring myself to put something in the basket. It was all too real which would make the pain too real if it doesn't happen. But Wednesday night after the disappointment with the social worker appearing to change her mind on her recommendation, I decided that I needed a tangible act of faith for myself to tell God, "I am trusting in You for this outcome. I'm not trusting in an outcome. You are good..and I will proclaim that whether Baby Girl comes to us and gets to wear this, or whether she doesn't and I have to return it."
Really my biggest fear for not getting her is our other children. All week, out of the blue, Toben will say, "Mom when do you see that judge? He will give us that baby to live with us forever." I pray this is one of his prophetic statements that he seems to have from time to time! But is just strikes me as so odd that even at his young age and seeming to have little to no interest in her when we were in the room, he is thinks of it so much and makes statements like that. Callie is beside herself! For someone who can be so negative in her speech, she will not even entertain the idea that Baby Girl is not coming to live with us! I struggle between speaking life and the outcome we desire with trying to keep her from being devastated if Baby Girl doesn't come live with us. At first, I would remind her that we might not get Baby Girl at all. But now, I just go along with her! The last thing she said to me when I dropped her off at school was she would be praying at 2:30. She begged me to call with the news, but I didn't want my friend who is staying with the kids to have to deal with any negative news. So I told her I would tell her when I get home. I pray that God will protect her heart and faith through all this. That He will give me the words to explain what I will not understand even myself if the outcome is not what we are hoping and praying for.
Sally's mom called me yesterday. She was very anxious and had not slept much the night before. She wanted advice on what she could do. As we talked, she suddenly said, "What if I call the lawyer for the baby?!" I can look back now and see this as a divine moment. John and I had talked about the fact that the baby's lawyer would be a good person for the biological family to talk to and voice concerns, but I had never said that to Sally's mom. When she said that, I told her that would be a great idea. So she eventually got in touch with the lawyer. Whether it will make a difference with the judge or not, I have no clue. But I know it gave Sally's mom peace that she had done what she could for her granddaughter. She has great guilt that she can't take the baby, but her hands are very full and it is a wise decision. We are meeting the lawyer at 2 before the court hearing for the lawyer to talk to us. It appears that we will be put on the stand to testify.
Today is the day. The first decision will be made. As I prayed about the whole situation after the seemingly negative news from the social worker, God took me to Proverbs 31. I had underlined verses 8 and 9 a couple of years ago when God first started laying fostering on our hearts. I even wrote out beside it "Foster care?"
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy."
I knew God was telling me that the fight for Baby Girl is not over. Doesn't mean it is a fight for us to get her, but for us to be involved as an advocate for her and her family. To make sure Baby Girl is in the best home possible to provide her with the best future possible and most importantly to be raised as a daughter of the King!
If we come to mind, pray for us! We are scheduled for court at 2:30. These things usually run late, but at sometime around there the immediate future of Baby Girl will be decided by Judge Chavez. Pray for her, that we would have favor in her eyes.
Thanks in advance!
We didn't get the baby bed put up because, well, I just don't think John wanted to haul it out of the attic until he HAD to. But that is ok because that was my step of obedience, not his. I was willing. So instead, I bought an outfit! :) I had gone several times to stores and thought I would buy a little something...I can always take it back so I'm not spending money I don't need to spend. But I just couldn't bring myself to put something in the basket. It was all too real which would make the pain too real if it doesn't happen. But Wednesday night after the disappointment with the social worker appearing to change her mind on her recommendation, I decided that I needed a tangible act of faith for myself to tell God, "I am trusting in You for this outcome. I'm not trusting in an outcome. You are good..and I will proclaim that whether Baby Girl comes to us and gets to wear this, or whether she doesn't and I have to return it."
Really my biggest fear for not getting her is our other children. All week, out of the blue, Toben will say, "Mom when do you see that judge? He will give us that baby to live with us forever." I pray this is one of his prophetic statements that he seems to have from time to time! But is just strikes me as so odd that even at his young age and seeming to have little to no interest in her when we were in the room, he is thinks of it so much and makes statements like that. Callie is beside herself! For someone who can be so negative in her speech, she will not even entertain the idea that Baby Girl is not coming to live with us! I struggle between speaking life and the outcome we desire with trying to keep her from being devastated if Baby Girl doesn't come live with us. At first, I would remind her that we might not get Baby Girl at all. But now, I just go along with her! The last thing she said to me when I dropped her off at school was she would be praying at 2:30. She begged me to call with the news, but I didn't want my friend who is staying with the kids to have to deal with any negative news. So I told her I would tell her when I get home. I pray that God will protect her heart and faith through all this. That He will give me the words to explain what I will not understand even myself if the outcome is not what we are hoping and praying for.
Sally's mom called me yesterday. She was very anxious and had not slept much the night before. She wanted advice on what she could do. As we talked, she suddenly said, "What if I call the lawyer for the baby?!" I can look back now and see this as a divine moment. John and I had talked about the fact that the baby's lawyer would be a good person for the biological family to talk to and voice concerns, but I had never said that to Sally's mom. When she said that, I told her that would be a great idea. So she eventually got in touch with the lawyer. Whether it will make a difference with the judge or not, I have no clue. But I know it gave Sally's mom peace that she had done what she could for her granddaughter. She has great guilt that she can't take the baby, but her hands are very full and it is a wise decision. We are meeting the lawyer at 2 before the court hearing for the lawyer to talk to us. It appears that we will be put on the stand to testify.
Today is the day. The first decision will be made. As I prayed about the whole situation after the seemingly negative news from the social worker, God took me to Proverbs 31. I had underlined verses 8 and 9 a couple of years ago when God first started laying fostering on our hearts. I even wrote out beside it "Foster care?"
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy."
I knew God was telling me that the fight for Baby Girl is not over. Doesn't mean it is a fight for us to get her, but for us to be involved as an advocate for her and her family. To make sure Baby Girl is in the best home possible to provide her with the best future possible and most importantly to be raised as a daughter of the King!
If we come to mind, pray for us! We are scheduled for court at 2:30. These things usually run late, but at sometime around there the immediate future of Baby Girl will be decided by Judge Chavez. Pray for her, that we would have favor in her eyes.
Thanks in advance!
