From Liberia to Kingergarten

This is my baby boy. He went to kindergarten this week. Did I cry? I managed to choke it back! I was actually doing great until John says as we headed to his classroom, "You came all the way from Africa for this!" That did it! My heart broke and the tears welled in the eyes.

I am learning that there are many significant events in life that with adopted children are even more significant. Not that the first day of kindergarten wasn't a big deal for Callie, it was! She was my first one to go! I thought my heart was being ripped out! But, there was never a doubt from the time she was conceived that she would go to kindergarten. That is just what we do in America. And really not a doubt that she would go to college...unless God calls her to the mission field before that....because that is just what we do in our family.

But that is just not the case with my baby boy, Toben! From the moment he was conceived, there was a question mark. Liberia has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the world. One in five babies die before they reach the age of five. That means one of my five children would not make it past five. That is sobering. It is also has one of the highest deaths among births for moms in the world. I can't imagine the fear mixed with joy his mother must have had when reality hit that she was expecting her second baby. Would she make it through the delivery to raise this baby and his older brother? If she did, would the baby survive? Would she have enough milk to nurse him? There are no other options for her, you see. No Wal-Mart to go buy formula if the milk doesn't come in. Toben defied the odds. He survived delivery, and so did she. He made it to two and a half years old before there was no more milk. Then he was brought to a home. A home full of children. A home that housed his older brother whose court decree had just been signed making him the son of an American family.

A mother who loved her son enough to let him go. A father who dreamed of a better future for his little boy. But more importantly, a Heavenly Father who had ordained Toben's days before even one came to be. He has a plan for Him!
All of that for Toben to make his way to kindergarten!

You see, this is the house that Toben live in before he moved to the orphanage.

These are children in his village as they were when I visited last year.

They don't attend school. They have no hope of attending school. As we waited for him mother to come in from the field, we sat in the kitchen (pictured here) and talked to the girls and their babies. I use girls purposely as most of them could not have been more than 13 or 14 years old and had one or more babies. Those who were able were working the fields to get enough money or food to sustain themselves for one more day. Survival. That is the name of the game.

But not for Toben. God picked him up out of that and placed him in my home. He entrusted this little boy to me and John. He entrusted us to provide for him the things that he would not have received if he had been left where he was.

Why? Why did Toben leave and these other children remain? Why was it important for him to escape that life?

I.

Don't.

Know.

I wrestled with that as an adoptive mom before Toben, and I wrestle with it even more as an adoption/humanitarian worker. It is one of those things that I just have to release and rest in knowing that God's ways are not mine!

I often forget all that Toben came from, but on this day, as I walked him to his class, it came flooding back and I was overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to be this little boy's mommy! I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of what that means. I have a job to do with all my children, and I will be held accountable for my failures - which are many! But for my adopted children, God removed them from the mom they had for a reason. I don't know always why that reason is, but I owe it to those women and more importantly to God to bring honor to their decision to let them go and God's decision to place them with me.

As I took this picture, I knew in this situation, I was doing that! Toben was starting school. He was beginning a new chapter of his life that would not have been possible had he remained where he was. Even if I had supplied his mom with the money for school as so many think should be done (aka: UNICEF, Save the Children), there was NO SCHOOL for him to attend! It. Would. Not. Have. Happened! It wasn't just a matter of money! It was a matter of everything....and now, he has gone from Liberia to kindergarten, and only by the grace of God!

And he is not the only one! In an amazing thing that God has done just to add icing on the cake, Toben started with an orphanage mate! The little boy in this picture with Toben was in the orphanage with him. His family now lives two blocks from us and are some of our best friends!

God, thank you for my little boy. Thank you for entrusting him to me! I am overcome right now with how unworthy I am of this little guy! And you quietly remind me that I am so unworthy of the cross, and the oh so many other good gifts you have given me! My life is not enough, Lord for what you have done for me, but it is all I have....and I give it to You! Thank you for allowing me to be apart of this miracle of adoption! What a picture of Your love for us! Help me to always bring honor to your decision to place this little boy in my home and to be called my son. Thank you! I love you! Amen!