Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Pure Joy???? Ha!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance -James 1:1-2

Of course this is one of those versus that all of us who grew up in church can pretty much quote. Yet, the meaning still evades many, dare I say most Chrsitians in Amercia. I am right there with them! There are many aspects to this truth that God has been refining in me over the past four years (really the past 10, I just didn't realize it until the past 4...really slow learner!).

As I have reflected on this verse over the past year or so, I have found my main problem: you must desire perseverance in order to consider it joy that you are gaining it! There in lies my problem! Do I really want perseverance? Do I really want to look more like Christ? Of course the church answer would be "YES!". However, as I have faced the trials in my life over the past few years, I have found that many times I am crying out to God that I don't want to look more like Him if it means hurting this badly or being this lonely or being this misunderstood. So do I really want to look more like Christ? Yes, I do. But do I want it badly enough to rejoice in these trials? I am not there yet. I want to be there. I want to desire God and His ways more than I desire my own comfort or easy life. But I am just not at that point.

I read about Christians in other countries who suffer to the point of death. (The death thing doesn't bother me once bit, but the suffer part before it scares me!)Christians who sing praises as the fires engulf them or their nails are being torn out. How do they do that? What am I missing about who God is that they know? We in America don't know what it is to be persecuted for our religion. Maybe we get the occasional snear because we mentioned God or have to fight a battle to keep the ten commandments in a court room (if we showed God's love in that same court room would we have to fight to keep the ten commandments there?!), but really being persecuted has not been a part of the Christian life since I have been alive here in America.

Many times I just think I have led too easy of a life. I accepted Christ when I was 10 years old. I have really not known life with out Christ. When Jesus said those who have been forgiven much love much, he wasn't joking. Sometimes I am jealous of people who had to struggle before their conversion because I know they truly understand the grace of God. I think many time I miss it. Maybe that is it! There is the joy part. My struggles now are what are bringing about the understanding of God's grace....I am just having to experience it this side of my Cross instead of the "before" side. Hmmmmm something to ponder more..............

2 comments:

Emily said...

Whether your suffer before conversion or after, we all have to suffer at some point :) I think in America we live the joy daily of the ability to fellowship with him that on a lot of levels we become apathetic. Some times I think American Christians need to seek out and take on the difficult to become closer to God.

Anonymous said...

I totally enjoyed reading this post. Good one. I've been thinking about having joy and praising God in all times. That means while in trials. What does that mean, what does that look like? Getting outside of our comfort zone in America is hard and amazing and weird and great.