The simple truths

Well, you guys may get a lot out of me this morning! My alarm clock this morning was a 4:15 phone call from Liberia, and I can't go back to sleep after those, so I have lots of time this morning! :)

John has been doing the Experiencing God Bible Study. I have wanted to do it with him, but refuse to pay the price...so I am going to be bargain shopping on ebay and amazon for it! I have tried to do it in his book to save money, but I am a serious note taker, marker upper person. So I really can't use his book! I need the freedom to mark what I want to really absorb it! Just the way I am made.

However, I have started it with his book so I won't be too far behind him. I didn't even get all the way through day 1 before I had to stop and absorb. The first scripture was 1 Cor 2:14, "The man with out the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of Godk for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned." Such a simple truth that I have read many times, but today it had new meaning! I LOVE it when He does that!!!

The word that stuck out to me was "foolishness". It stuck out because I know I am a woman with the Spirit, but how many times are "the things that come from the Spirit of God" still foolishness to me? How many times does God look at me and say, "do _______", and I go, "Huh?!" I don't understand, or I think it is ridiculous because I can't see the bigger picture. I think I am getting better, but I still have a long way to go!

For example, our personal budget that you guys heard me vent about yesterday morning. God may be looking at that and saying, I want to show myself in your peronal finances, will you let me?! While I am sitting here saying, we serve you, I could make more money teaching than what I do now, but I am serving you in my job (not that teachers don't serve....they do!!!! I was one of them too at aone time!) and keeping my commitment to my children to be their full time mother while working (lots of I and My in there, huh?!). I hear a sense of entitlement in those comments, don't you? I think I need to do some spiritual discerning over money! That is an area where I am not there yet!

But then in other areas, I am! For example, John and I have been praying about adopting again. There have been several scenarios that have presented themselves. One in particular, I thought was for sure the way we should go, and that door was shut. One is still open. The initial scenario was pretty good. Healthy birth mom, just one state over, have a friend in that state that I could stay with when the baby was born, baby due in Dec (which aligns with my due date estimate based on my impressiong to pray back in April that kind of started this whole topic anyway), might be born on my birthday, etc, etc. Well, we decided to be presented to another situation where the baby was already born instead of this one. We were not chosen for that situation. I have had a keen sense that this might be the one we needed to pursue all along, but John felt led to the other one. So I trusted his leading (am still trusting that!) and we presented to that one. After that door closed, I shared my feelings with him, admitting that I probably should have shared earlier, but am still trying to figure out this submission vs being led role that I have talked about (click on submission under my topics and you will see my posts on that!).

Over the weekend the situation got even better! The birth mom supposedly moved to Texas! Woohoo!!! No interstate compact!

Well, yesterday, we found out that she in fact did not move to Texas as the agency thought. In fact, she is in jail! They also told us that she is addicted to crack and had not disclosed that to the agency, but her brother told them when they talked to him to try to find her in Texas.

So here is how it went in the Petree house on that one! John is thinking run like crazy! The mother is in jail, there is now drugs involved (we were blessed with Noah, but we know that is not always the case!), will the mom still even make an adoption plan, how does it work when the mom has the baby in jail, will CPS be involved? Etc, etc! All VERY valid concerns and questions!

But I was so excited! Yes, that is right, excited! You see, I can have biological children, so if my goal is just to add children to my family, then lets get pregnant! But my goal is to love the "least of these!" Even when we adopted Noah, I knew our calling was to the children that were not wanted by every family. At that time, inter-racial adoption was not nearly as common as it is now (at least not in our part of the world), so even that was huge! Add the drugs, unknown birth father, mother's life-style, etc, etc and you have a recipe for faith walking! We did and it was wonderful!!!! I believe these are the situations that I am called to. I got the impression that even the agency wanted to drop her. They just wanted to send me on to the next AA baby girl! But I kept telling them, I want this one! I know they are not sure if she will place, if they can find her, they have already spent a lot of time on her, and I understand that. But that baby is worth it! And now more than ever, she needs a home!!!

So when I found out that she is a drug baby and in mom is in jail, I had a quickening in me! This verse explains why, I think. To pursue such a situation is "foolishness" if you look at it with our the Spirit! You see, the healthy birthmom that answers all the agencies phone calls, is college educated, has no "red flags" is the safe way! Sometimes God lets us take a safe journey, I am not saying it HAS to be risky to be of God, however, I am learning that the only time God can really shine is when it is impossible with out Him! I was thinking that yesterday, then I read the intro to the Bible study this morning and it just confirmed it: "When you obey, God accomplishe through you something only He can do [emphasis mine]. Then you come to know GOd in a more intimate way by experiencing Him at work through your life." That is soooo true!

I believe the quickening was God saying, "Let's do it! Come on, let me shine and show you some more of who I Am!" Now let me explain, that this was all after yesterday. Let me tell you my day yesterday:

I am chairman of the Book Fair at Callie and Noah's school. We seem to have had a shortage of volunteers this time. So yesterday I had to be at the Fair at 7:30 am for the Goodies with Grands event....along with treats to eat! I had all four kids up and ready to go by then. I had to take the little ones with me (they can unshelve books faster than I can get them off the floor!). Then the volunteers were late, so I had to stay until almost 9. Then had to come home, try to squeeze in some work and feed the kids to be back up there at 11:45 (nap time!). Stayed until a little after 1 when I thought we were going to have melt downs, and told the two volunteers that were there that I had to go home and let the kids run around and would be back before the after school rush.

On the way out the school doors, I looked down at my two precious angels and thought, "WHAT AM I THINKING????!!!!! I would be halling THREE kids around right now if I had a baby! I am already a nit wit! How in the world would I be with a baby that kept me up at night, that needs diapers and formula in a budget that is already not enough? (See yesterdays post for that rant!). And God just spoke as if He was staning right next to me! It went something like this, "Aw, good. Now you see it my way! You can't do it, but I can!" That was before I found out about the jail and drug isssue with the birth mom.

I don't know how this story will end. But I know God wants my obedience and faith! He wants to do more "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his pwer that is at work with in us" (Eph 3:20). But that requires me to let go of control, trust Him, and walk by faith in obedience! Oh how I want to do that!