I had a first today! I went to divorce court! John and I have walked with some good friends through a rocky time. We are the only ones who have talked with both the husband and wife through this time. Their court date got unexpectedly moved up yesterday from mid Sept to 1:30 today. We found out last night. This morning, I could not get them off my mind during my morning walk and spent my whole walk just crying out for them and their children. I knew God was telling me that John and I both neded to go to show our support for both of them and prove that we are not taking sides even though this looks like it is over. But I had just about talked myself out of going and had pretty well told God my day was TOO full to add one more thing to it when "Love Them Like Jesus" by Casting Crowns came on. So I ran home and told JOhn that we had to go to court with them even if we just sat in the hall while they walked past us just to show that we love them!
Well, we didn't sit in the hall, we were in the courtroom. It is by far one of the worst things I have sat through in my whole life. To watch two people you love so much in so much pain themselves and then hear the words "The marriage of ______ and ____ is herby dissolved!" I wanted to stand up and scream, "NO IT ISN'T!" Maybe by the state of TX, but not by God! But in the interest of not being arrested, I just sat there with tears streaming down my face. John and I walked out of the court room and I headed to the bathroom to get a kleenex and because I thought I really might throw up!
Anyone who is even thinking about divorce should be required to go to a divorce hearing! They had settled all issues. They have both been very civil during the whole thing...truly amazingly civil, really. So there was no fighting or arguing or any contesting. It was just presented and done...just like that! Ten years of marriage and a family destroyed just like that. As I held my friend afterwords and both of us cried, I just told her I loved her and would do whatever I needed to walk with her. And John did the same with the husband...well, not the crying part, but the other! Two lives and the lives of their children forever changed by one man's statement...is herby dissolved! I still can't really get my mind around it! THen when we were in the elevator going downstairs and the husbahds laywer said, "This is a happy day, huh?!" I thought I was going to punch him! We all just stared at him like he was an alien!
No matter what happens in our marriages, there is a choice...fight or throw in the towel! I have always been committed to fight for my marriage, but after today, that committment is set in solid cement! I know there are times when one party wants to fight and one throws in the towel, and I pray I am never a part of that scenario, but I know that I will fight tooth and nail wheneve the enemy is determined to even slit the doort open to the possiblity to divorce in my marriage! God forbid I ever have to walk another friend through what I did today! I pray that was my first and last time to ever be in divorce court for any reason!
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You are a good friend to that couple. I love your description of the experience. Not because it was beautiful or good, but because it was a great reminder for all of that are married to keep FIGHTING.
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